Ties of a Friendship
Chapter 10
It's been a few weeks since I stopped talking to Jude. I've moved on from him and from what it looks like he did too as well. Since that day we we're both called into the office to be questioned about what we did in the tent together I ended our friendship. Now without Jude in my life my dad kinda of tone down and stop riding on my case which I'm actually relieved to be honest I didn't need that unnecessary stress in my life. The thing I'm mad about the most is that he's dating Maddie I mean…really Maddie he knew I liked her and he told me before that he didn't like her like that and now there a couple. It feels like he's throwing it in my face to make me jealous, if so it's working because I really liked her.
It's been kind of weird being around him as well. I tolerate him for our group of friends, but other than that I pretend like he doesn't exist. Sometimes we make eye contact with each other, but I try to look away as quickly as possible because even though we aren't friends anymore you would think Jude would show some kind of hatred. When I looked into his eyes I saw something cold and remorseful…I wonder what could he be thinking?
Today was the day we had to finish up our final project for our project we decided to change it. I really didn't care at this point the less communication I made with him the better. "…so if we add the core here it should charge the panel and we should be done than we'll add the finishing touches on it," Jude explains placing the cord to the connection line. It was an amazing project we finished together, and look at him he was more excited than I was. I'm glad we're done with the project because I hate science I mean…don't get me wrong I'm not that good at science, but Jude excels in science which is good for us and our project.
"…ok it's done!" Jude tells me as he puts the finishing touches on the project, "Alright Connor you want to check it out?" I shrug a sure and inspect the project. When told me the idea he had for a new project I was little skeptical, but he proved that we could do it and we did it looked great.
"Wow this turned out pretty good man," I tell Jude he gives me a smile and replies with a thanks, "I'm glad it turned out great…" I looked down at my cellphone and noticed the time it was time for me to leave, "Oh I gotta go." With that I grab my backpack host it over my shoulder and leave his room. As I make my way to the exit I saw Lena in the kitchen she is the vice-principal of our school normally I don't feel weird or awkward around her or around the Fosters, but lately I have. I mean me and Jude pretend to be okay with each other for his family, but they don't know that we're not friends anymore we're just associates now a quick hi and bye if we're lucky. Lena turns to my general direction she gives me a heartwarming smile and I smile back.
"Oh Connor you're leaving?" She asked me I nods yes, "I'm glad you and Jude we're able to finish your project." Lena walks over to the kitchen sink washing her hand, "It was good having you over for a bit Connor we'll see you at school." And with I took my leave the quicker I got out of the Foster's home the better. It was a late afternoon the kind of afternoon where the day meet the night a middle point before it become night. It was quiet afternoon as I headed home alone….the problem with this is being alone with these thoughts I'm having. I have no distraction nothing to keep my mind at ease.
I don't know what to with myself at this point. Everything feels numb to me. I guess that's what happens when you push people out of your life or trying to make certain people happy. Without knowing I arrived home quickly, I guess that happens when you're deep in thoughts and walking. I entered my home and place my backpack near the entrance of the door. I heard my mom calling out to me asking me is it me. I never quite understood why she asked of course it's me who else would walk into the house? I know she couldn't think dad would be here. He doesn't live with us anymore…thank goodness to be honest. "Yes Mom it's me!" I tell her clearly she's busy making dinner for us so I don't bother trying to go to the kitchen instead I head to living room. If though I'm not tired my body feels tired I slump onto the couch. I was thinking whether or not I should turn on the TV not that I'll have any luck at finding anything good to watch.
Soon my mother called me into the kitchen. It took me a while to movement because I'm being sluggish, but eventually I got to the kitchen. When I arrived in the kitchen my mom had dinner ready. She cooked steak which I love she knows how to cook it just right, with the steak she had side of garden salad, mashed potatoes that she special seasons and finished it up with steam carrots glazed in honey. She smiled at me finishing up the last few fixes.
"I know I don't usually cook this on the weekdays, but I decided to cook something special tonight," My mom explained to me, "I hope you don't mind?" Really like I could ever complain about her cooking steak for dinner? I quickly washed my hands and sat at the dinner table and start digging in it was delicious my mom always knows how to cook steak it was ripe and juicy. I couldn't contain my excitement my mom laughed at me because of the way I was eating. Now that I think about I haven't laughed as much I've been trying to go through the day so I could come home and be alone.
"Honey, did you finish your project with Jude?" My mom asked. She doesn't know that me and Jude aren't talking to one another so I have to still pretend with her it spare her the pain as if anything was her fault. "Oh…yeah me and Jude finished our project I think we'll get an A+. Thanks to Jude actually you know he loves science it's one of his favorite subject…" She nods and smile like she's really understands if she only knew in reality. I won't tell her anything I'll keep it to myself. She has way more on her plate than dealing with my problems.
After dinner I decided to clean the kitchen while my mom relaxes from her hard day of work. After cleaning the kitchen I head to the living room. I decided to play a video game, I look at the collection I have…I finally decided to play Need for Speed Rivals. Once I selected the game I placed it in the X-Box One console and turned it on. I let myself pretend I was driving for real, the rush of excitement that comes over driving fast, and the adrenaline high you get from driving as fast as you can. Not caring who in the way man I wish I could do the same right now just to escape all of this. I played the game so long that I was able to beat Jude's high score. I pulled out my cellphone to tell Jude that I beat his high score, but then I stopped. I remember that we aren't friends so I toss my phone and resumed playing. I played until I got sleepy which was around 11 at night. I know I should've been in the bed, but I just wanted a distraction.
I finally dragged myself upstairs to my room. Once I open my bedroom door I just flopped face first on my bed and fell asleep. I drifted into nothing much like the night sky. It was something I never had to worry about…I let my drift and drift into I couldn't hear myself think.
The next day I got up and headed to school it went relevantly well and normal. I went to lunch with Chelsea and even Matt. Recently we reconnected I guess if you want to call it that. He still a jerk don't get me wrong, but hey it whatever at this point. For everyone sake I sat at the same table, but I did warn Matt not to say anything bad to Jude, just because we aren't friends anymore doesn't mean he can make fun of Jude.
Chelsea of course was happy to Jude and Maddie. She always commented on how cute Maddie and Jude were together in the back of mind it made me sick. I couldn't believe this my crush and my ex-best friend are together I miss one weekend and this happens it's so crazy. For Maddie's sake Jude greeted both me and Mat, but I could tell the Matt thing was for my general sake he stills cares. I guess that's an unshakable resolve he has. We all catch on up on lateness news or gossip Jude didn't really care but he would chuckle from time to time. I stayed quiet for the most part because I really didn't know what to say to honest nor did I feel like having a conversation.
"…Hey Connor?" Maddie called out to me. I quickly give my attention to her, "How's the project going?" I shot a look at Jude. He just looked as if he wanted to say something, but she was directing the conversation to me. Even after me and Jude stopped talking she still wanted to find ways of getting us to talk to each other again. "Oh it's going fine actually," I tell her, "Thanks to Jude's brilliant mind and his knack for science we we're able to complete our project." Jude looks down at his hands with a smile as if I embarrassed him or something it was true he's weak in math, but good at science just like I'm weak at science, but good at math it's a good trade off sometimes especially when we share classes together, but that was the past now. "How's the project going with you and Chelsea?" Maddie gives Chelsea a look. From the look you can tell it wasn't going well. "Well Chelsea keeps getting some of the formulas wrong and we had to start the project over again!"
"I'm sorry," Chelsea begged for Maddie's apology, "You know they all look the same to me…" Maddie didn't appreciate her excuses. "Yeah, sure whatever." She turns her attention to Matt who was playing in his food. I mean who still plays around with their food I just shake my head in disgust from the site of him playing with his food. Of course the girls were disgusted as well, but Maddie ignored his stupidity of playing with his food to ask him about his project.
"It's going fine it's not like science it that hard," He stated we give him a look of unbelievably, "I'm serious it's just like soccer…" Even I was confused about that how in the world is soccer just like science. I had to hear this maybe Matt's not as stupid as I give him credit for. "Ok you guys looking at me stupidly now fine I'll explain," He drops his folk and push aside his tray, "So soccer is basic physics and physics is a science all you have to do is calculate the height of ball, once you do that the distance between the ball and the goal, then given your height weight and strength of your kick you can actually make a simple shot and that's how I play soccer and the way I approach science with soccer." Matt had just dumbfounded us all. I couldn't believe it there's some brain behind this jerk. I guess that old saying of never judge a book by its cover just slapped me in the face.
The bell run and we all got up and head to our respected classes. The day continued like normal until it was the end of the day. I went to my locker to gather things I needed before I went home. I turn to the corner to see Maddie and Jude making out by his locker I kinda wanted to push them away from each other, but I waited until they were done finally Maddie left and Jude was messing in his locker. I walked up to mines I try not look at him. I heard his phone go off usually Jude turns his phone back on when the day is over. He slammed his locker and rushes out of the school. I wondered where he goes he's always rushing out of the school not even his siblings be rushing. I know it's not my busy, but today I decided to follow. I quickly gather my things and follow behind him, but I make sure I'm not seen by him.
Following Jude I finally arrived at the far end side of the beach. My question is why is he out here at the beach alone? Jude rushes to a tall tree that borderline the beach line of the sand to a grassy area. I make sure he doesn't see me I hide behind a beach lifeguard house. I can see that's he's talking to a guy. The gives him a smile and Jude sits down next to him. Did he already replace me with this as his best friend? From what I can tell Jude confines in him now since we don't talk anymore he can't confine in me not that I always willingly to do to him.
I'm alittle upset that he's kinda of moved on I know I said some things, but I he moved on I mean literally moved on! I can't really blame him either though I did tell him I was done. I can't go back now to be honest I did all of this for my dad's sake, but maybe I need time or something this all started because of my dad and him thinking Jude was gay even if he was or not it shouldn't had matter. I'm so confused I want to rip my own hair out. Maybe we should talk about the tent maybe if I can…no what I am saying he betrayed my trust Jude told his moms and now my dad is still kinda of suspicious about us. No I won't try and apologize to him he should've never told regardless! While I sat and look over at the two of them Jude finally got up and left leaving the boy to himself. This was my chance to confront this person I need to know what's up with him and Jude.
I walk over to the boy he was sketching even though I was going over there to confront him his art is amazing. You can tell he's an artist it was a wonderful piece I saw from the corner of my eye. "Hey!" I called out to him. He turns around and looks up to see me towering over him. He just smiles which just frustrates me to know end. "Hello can I help you with something?" He asked as he turns his attention back to his drawing. I couldn't believe he kinda of just chuck me aside.
I was furious so I snatch his sketchbook. It probably wasn't the best idea. He got up so quick and grab my wrist it was as if he almost going to break my wrist. I struggle a bit as I tried to get him to let go instead I dropped his sketchbook and he grabbed it from my possession. He then pushes me up against the tree he was under. I should've thought this plan through because his left forearm was under my throat holding me in place. "Look I don't know what your problem is, but one thing you're not going to do is grab my sketchbook or attack me. Understand?!" I nod and he lets go and slide down to my knees rubbing my throat. He places his sketchbook in his backpack and then he offers me a hand. He turned back to a gentle soul I grabbed his hand as he helps me up to my feet.
"Sorry about that…um…" He apologized, but he doesn't know my name and I don't know his either. "C-Connor, my name is Connor and yours?" I asked back after I told him my name. He gives a smile and he chuckles I'm confused by the laugh he freaked me out. "So you're Connor," He said like knew me or something, "Your Jude's Connor am I right?" I give a confused nod yes. He picks up his backpack and toss it over his shoulder he asked me to follow him. I decided if I wanted answers I followed him. If he knows me and Jude I want to know why and how? We finally head to a nearby ice cream parlor. He turns to me and ask me what kind of ice cream I wanted I told chocolate and he makes a face he tells me he hates chocolate ice cream, but he gets me a chocolate ice cream cone and himself a vanilla ice cream cup. Once he hands me the ice cream we take a seat.
I take a lick from my ice cream before I ask him a question, "Um you never did tell me your name?" He gives me huh expression on his face as if he already told me his name. "I'm sorry my name is Trey, it's nice to finally meet you." He's excited to meet me what the hell is wrong with this guy? "Well it's nice to meet you too…sorry about coming at you early." He just smiles and shrugs it off before taking a spoonful of his vanilla ice cream, "No problem, I taken you're here to question me about what's going on between me and Jude. Am I correct in assuming that?" I nod yes of course he knew me or of me I should say him and Jude been talking about me.
"I'm tell you there's nothing going on between us. Obviously there's nothing going on between the two of you." He tells me. I felt like he was trying to attack me with last comment of course there's nothing going on between me and Jude why would it we're friends and nothing more, well we we're friends, "Before you take that wrong way I don't mean like you guys are lover or anything. If I were to guess you're confused about the entire situation."
Trey explains to me about how he met Jude and how Jude confined in about everything it's amazing how little of Jude's feelings I knew about I mean we share, but we we're always hanging out we never had really serious conversations. In truth it might be my fault I always avoid my problems and feelings and maybe Jude isn't that way. That's probably why he turned to Trey instead of me it makes me wonder what I right in my haste of dismissing our friendship? I don't know it's so much going on right now I need time to process everything around me.
"Hey you guys both need your space," Trey tells me it's like he understand what I'm going through. "I told Jude, and I will tell you the same thing you all need to calm down and confront what you both don't want to talk about. The tent seems like a touchy subject and no before you get mad he didn't say anything about what you guys did. Jude just told me the tent incident been part of y'all problems and until you guys are able to confront this issue nothing will ever go right between the two of you."
"You're probably right, Trey I mean I think for right now it's best that I get some space from Jude I just can't deal with this stuff right now…" I finish my ice cream cone and thank him for the advice. I got up from the bench and thank Trey. "No problem Connor, but here's some other advice to take with you. Don't be too hard on Jude trust me you and I know he's been through a lot worse than me and you and whatever you're going is nothing compared to what he's been through in short life he has. So cut him some slack."
I nod a yes Trey was right I've been loading a lot of suppress angry on Jude and that's not fair. Right now I don't know what I'm going to do, but I do know is that I will talk to my father I have to start at the top and work my way down the ladder. After heading home I called my father I felt like I would regret this call, but I had to I waited for him to answer he finally picked up the phone saying hello. "Dad we need to talk can you come over to Mom's house so we can talk?" I asked him right off the back. "Is everything okay?" He asked me as if he were concern. I tell him I'm fine I just wanted to talk to him. He agreed and I hung up the phone.
I entered the house where my mom had just walked in the house herself she still had her heels and suit jacket on. "Hey mom," I greeted her she smiled and hugs him and asked me how my day was going I tell her it was fine. "I invited dad over tonight." She was shocked that those words came out of her mouth. "Why did you do that?"
I tell her I decided to confront dad about Jude and why he's so against him even if he's gay or not still shouldn't make a difference. She sits down on the stool on kitchen bar island and sighed. "Honey sit down there's something you should know about your father."
She got my attention I sit down next to her, "What do I need to know?" I asked her she grabs my hand and strokes it as if it's something shockingly. "Come on tell me what is it?" My mother decided to tell me what my father been keeping from me the problem is, was I going to be ready to hear his story? Only time could tell, but I knew this needed to happen sooner and now later. I gave my mother her full attention as begins to tell me dad's story.