Chapter Ten
Winter in Phendrana
…Why does it feel like my mattress has been transfigured into steel?
Edd was a pre-teenager with standards, and this was the result of living in a very lavish house in a humble North American cul-de-sac for most of his life. Naturally, he of all people knew what comfort was like.
Comfort was an overstuffed leather sofa, a pair of fluffy rabbit slippers, and a piping-hot cup of cocoa on a cool autumn morning (though he often preferred his cooled for five minutes and decorated with mini-marshmallows – he was often seen as an odd sort for this). Comfort was his sanctuary, his multi-layered bed at 6:00AM on a Sunday morning, an hour before his designated wake-up time. Comfort was the feeling that he had one more hour to relish in his only given chance to lie about, safe within the well-insulated walls of his own home, knowing that Ed and Eddy would not come knocking for another hour or two.
So, given this stratospheric criteria, the question was this: was Edd truly experiencing such feelings at the moment?
No. The kid felt like a turkey accumulating frost inside of a freezer.
…How long have I been asleep on this rusty elevator?!
With a resounding yawn, Edd decided to take his time as he rose to his feet, his stiffened joints cracking, snapping, and popping back into place after being rendered in such uncomfortable positions. Silently vowing that he would never again fall asleep in a place without reasonable access to a bed with a labeled headboard, he shook his head side to side quickly in an attempt to wake up a tad more, but as he did so, he came to notice that he had very little feeling in his cheeks, or the rest of his face, for that matter.
"Curious...perhaps my Varia Suit is having some difficulty adjusting to the extreme shift in temperature?" mumbled Edd through cooled lips as he brushed the accumulated frost off of his lustrous outfit, his breath crystallizing in the atmosphere and slightly fogging up his visor. He recalled that he had taken an automated elevator from the molten caverns of the Magmoor region to an area that was previously indicated as the "Phendrana Drifts", thus the change in temperature was not that hard to imagine.
Though as he began to move down the snow-decorated tunnel that opened up before him, he found that his body had begun to warm up to a much more comfortable temperature, giving him the sensation that, instead of traversing down a frosted cavern to the frigid plains of oblivion, he was passing through a warm living room, dressed in his one-piece pajamas. "There we go! A much more reasonable configuration, if I do say so myself. Now if only I had remembered to pack my earmuffs…"
The frosted tunnel was spacious and winding, but Edd was feeling a bit too jolly to criticize the geography, for his nap, however long it must have been, had somewhat restored his sense of humor and had caused him to attain a more lighthearted outlook on his ordeal. Instead of scoffing at the jutting sheets of ice that nearly blocked his path, he grinned at their natural beauty and simply shuffled his way around them; perhaps his good mood was to be short-lived, but at least he was making the best of things. Hopefully Ed and Eddy were having likewise positive outlooks on their own predicaments, wherever on Tallon IV they happened to be.
Oh, if only he had known.
"Strange , isn't it, how there seems to be an intentionally-designed elevator system installed within the various regions of this planet?" mused Edd, turning his mind to other matters as he reached the end of the tunnel, where a blinding light seemed to be beckoning him forth. "And how they all seem to be connected? A forest connected to a ruins site connected to a cavern network connected to what may just be a winter wonderland... It would probably take me a week or two to travel on foot from the rainforest region of the planet to the ruins, but this system is sort of like a planetary subway, and seems to be much more convenient… I would be thrilled to study the nature of these mechanisms, but unfortunately I have more pressing matters at…hand…well, look at that! What a pleasant change of pace after that positively treacherous magma romp!"
A winter wonderland, indeed; the winding tunnel had led the wayward suburban denizen into a peaceful vale of mountainous whites and sky-blues; a lazy river slowly wound through the tranquil area, flanked by large, carpeted expanses of knee-deep, sticky snow (the kind perfectly suited to craft snowballs and snow-forts, as any suburbanite would know), set against a glorious backdrop of high-rising, mountainous walls and jagged cliffs, each freckled with a number of caves and entrances to tunnel networks. A number of thin plateaus stuck out in the clearing like trees in an expansive yard, each clothed in hats of powdery white and reaching for the overcast alien sky. One oddity that Edd noticed was that near the cliffs there happened to be large platforms capped with snow floating in mid-air, kept in that state by rocket propellers installed by who-knows-who…
A pinch of technology never hurt anyone, Edd supposed.
With flakes of snow continually flickering down from the cloud-grey precipice above, the picturesque clearing put Edd at ease and vaguely reminded him of the solace of wintertime in Peach Creek; all that was missing was a snowman or two, and perhaps a few Christmas decorations, not to mention Rolf's horrendous, meat-adorned abode…but he preferred not to think about that aspect of Yuletide.
"Well, it seems I've stumbled across Santa Claus' very own backyard!" chuckled Edd, not the first to make a reference to Saint Nick, as he waded through the freshly-fallen snow, the white powder latching onto his lustrous Space Jump Boots and temperature-regulating coat as he romped. "Haha…I couldn't resist. But it is a pleasant change of scenery. I'm already starting to take a liking to this Phendrana region…"
He approached the riverbank and peered as his own reflection, the image contorted humorously by the easygoing currents; he eventually averted his gaze to the cloud-blanketed sky reflected in the lazy waves, dotted with quickly-flying docile avian creatures. Edd then looked ahead, toward the cloud-scraping cliffs in the distance, his stomach filled with tingles of anticipation. "Not to mention the endless possibilities for exploration! Perhaps I could learn a thing or two about the region while I'm here, and who knows? Perhaps I'll stumble upon a clue that'll lead me to Ed and Eddy."
Though the way the region presented itself made the notion of excavation much more exciting than, say, the Chozo Ruins, which looked tantalizing at first, but had eventually proven to be quite hostile to visitors. The worst he could stumble upon here was an army of elves laid-off by Santa's Present Corporation.
Edd looked upward at the leftmost cave on the cliffs, which resided about fifteen feet above ground level. Normally, he would have designated that one as the starting point of his excavation of the area, but something was quite strange about it – from what he could see, there seemed to be a hexagonal, translucent "barrier" blocking the entrance, and by all means it did not look natural in the slightest. Curious, Edd gave the thing a long-distance run-down with his visor and found that he was correct in assuming that it was a barrier, but he was surprised to learn that it was of technological origin.
"…Bizarre," muttered the boy, using his visor to trace the electromagnetic current that the barrier seemed to be giving off to its source. His visor displayed the barrier in a shade of light blue, and there appeared to be a long, invisible "cord" that extended off of the cliff and into a ground-level alcove near the mouth of the river, also colored a light blue. Curious, Edd followed the riverbank and ducked into the shady alcove, not sure what to expect.
Well, this was most unusual: at the end of the small grotto, embossed into the slate wall, was a vermillion, translucent computer terminal that seemed to be giving off the same electromagnetic signal as the force-field above.
"The rocket-propelled platforms outside are indeed a marvel," mused Edd, approaching the large, text-ridden touch-screen with a look of curiosity in his eyes. "But to find a database within this seemingly all-natural region is quite unexpected." He prodded the piece a few times with his gloved hand, and a soft whirr from above told him that he had disabled the force-field.
"Just when I assumed that there was one place on Tallon IV that wasn't riddled with these mechanisms…" commented Edd as he reentered the clearing and looked upward at the cave entrance that rested on the cliff high above him. "It seems that, when it comes to these mysterious regions, there always seems to be more than meets the eye…" He jumped upward, using his Space Jump Boots to propel him about twenty feet into the air, allowing him to land on the high-rising cliff just outside of the cave entrance. The boots were a boon, to be sure, but there was always something about jumping three times higher than the average human should that made him a tad queasy.
Luckily enough for him, the "cave" had proven to be more of an archway than anything, so he did not have to squint his way through yet another dark passage as he had so often done in the ruins and the caverns, and perhaps fate had arranged for it to be so, for the area to follow was quite the intriguing one.
"Oh my…" stammered Edd as he tromped his way through the deep snow, brushing the melted snowflake remnants off of his visor in order to get a better glimpse of the area – and he would have needed a good glimpse, for sure, for this was music to his…eyes. "I think I'm beginning to see a noticeable connection between the various regions of this vast planet."
Edd had initially thought that Phendrana was a region of pure natural bliss, untouched by technological advances or civilization (well, save for the technological part), but his theories had been proven wrong by what he had just stumbled across; that is to say, he was quite a bit surprised to find himself stepping into what appeared to be a square – and not just any square; from the look of things, he seemed to be in a town square, or at least the ruins of one! Large, open constructs that resembled ancient Roman residencies rose up all around him, shackled and ruined by the waves of time. The blanket of snow was thin enough in the center of the locale for Edd to see that beneath the whiteness rested a layer of ornate, age-worn tiles made of brick and some sort of alien concrete. The sky remained inconspicuously cloudy, but there was just enough light to bathe the area in a glorious, retrospective sheen that Edd could not help but think he was standing in the middle of an illustration found in a history book.
"Yes, this is there…and that, too…it meets the requirements, I must say… By Jove, I believe I've stumbled across yet another settlement," stuttered Edd, his excitement nearly causing him to float in the air. "Why, this could be the remnants of an ancient village! And it most probably is! A city, mayhap? Or…or perhaps a ruined marketplace? Oh, this just warrants further study…"
Edd jovially galloped over to the Easternmost building and approached it with a look of awe on his face. It appeared to be about three stories tall and constructed of a myriad of colossal stones of slate, granite, and white hue that he could hardly identify, even with his level of geological knowledge. The entire face of the building seemed to be completely missing, with large, Grecian columns strewn about in pieces all around him, and the interior seemed to be completely packed with snow and rock, so unfortunately he could not excavate the inside. Even his visor could not indicate the exact age of the stones used to build the residence, but he was sure that nearly everything in this area was centuries upon centuries old.
"Absolutely fascinating!" marveled Edd, placing his hand on the grainy outer wall of the looming building, his mind a-race as he pondered what life must have been like when this supposed hub of activity was brand new. "There's little doubt that this area was inhabited by none other than the Chozo themselves, given the similarity between these buildings and the ones I saw at the ruins only hours ago. So they did colonize more than one region of this planet, much like we humans did millennia ago on our own planet…"
He looked around at the other buildings and wished that he had been around to see this architecture in its glory days and witness the wonder of Chozo civilization firsthand. He was a bit torn, of course, for although being in the presence of such marvelous ruins was always an experience, he was saddened knowing that the civilization that constructed them was probably long gone.
Definitely long gone, he reminded himself. According to the records he found back at the first ruins site, the Chozo had long since departed the planet after the "cataclysm", and what that "cataclysm" was…well, that was pretty high on Edd's list of 'things to find out.'
"Hmm…well, there don't seem to be any Chozo records left behind other than these derelict buildings and pillars," reasoned Edd as he returned to the square. Unfortunately, he was not exactly an architect, so he could not get much information out of these buildings even if he tried – maybe Rolf's bizarre wisdom could have helped him there, but he would not have bet on it. "But perhaps there are other ruins sites strewn all across Phendrana just waiting to be excavated. I suppose I'll just…"
Fff-shhhmm…
Grrrrr-ggghhh…
Edd swallowed past the lump in his throat and whirled his head about, nearly crying aloud at the resulting whiplash. His train of thought derailed, he was rightly disoriented, and his about-face was not swift enough to catch a full glimpse of the events behind him.
Teeth. Rows upon rows of salivating, jagged teeth lurching toward his face with the intention of ripping it into ribbon-shreds. Unable to even get a cry of "good Lord" out of his own mouth, Edd instinctively tumbled far to his right, hopefully far away from the teeth…or whatever was behind them. His arm cannon whirled out and pointed at the creature, a radiant orb of energy charging at the mouth of his weapon – to generate a Power Beam shot was already becoming second nature to Edd.
An eyeless, bipedal predator roughly the size and stance of an African rhinoceros met his wary gaze, covered in thick bluish hide and sporting the same set of teeth that Edd had just seen flying at him. On its back rested a defensive dorsal shell constructed of ice and assorted organic skins, probably for survival needs. The Edd of yesterday would have been on his knees in awe and fright of the monster before him; the Edd of now could only see one stand-out characteristic of this tundra predator:
The shell on its back and the weakness it must have concealed. Edd made up his mind; it was do or die. It was the nature of things on this world.
The creature lunged at the boy with wide-open jowls and a mammoth battle-cry, whereupon Edd let loose his charged Power shot directly into its face. Unfazed by the mighty blast, the creature went straight for Edd's throat, but the boy's improved reflexes allowed him to duck and roll away from the death-strike and behind the creature. His brain quickly sorting through an array of endless options, Edd immediately launched two missiles at the monster's dorsal carapace.
The first shot did reasonable concussive damage, but the second one was the killer, and shattered the shell entirely. With this protective carapace annihilated, a sensitive epidermal layer was exposed to the frigid Phendrana atmosphere, whereupon the creature let forth a cry of pain – apparently these things were not entirely adapted to live in this kind of environment, and this was something Edd knew he could exploit. Using this as his chance, Edd generated a bomb and hurled it at the creature's weak point, whereupon it detonated, the concussive energy driving the creature deep into the snow; luckily, it did not move again.
A nerve-shot Edd took a moment to catch his breath, inhaling deeply through his nose and exhaling out of practically every pore on his face. He sat down for a second and surveyed the creature's vital signs and morphology with his scan visor.
Well, no more mindless rambling coming out of my mouth during confrontation; I'm improving, I suppose, thought the pacifist with a defeated sigh. Perhaps the fact that this creature, this "infant Sheegoth", was predatory and wanted to eat him was what gave him the drive to defend himself without hesitation…but he could not deny the reprehensible fact that it was becoming easier and easier to point the barrel at things. That's not the kind of person he was…
…But was it the person he was supposed to become to survive? Maybe. It was a strategy Edd would be all too eager to abandon once he set foot in Peach Creek again.
"I wasn't quite sure at first," stammered Edd, his nerves thoroughly shot and his good mood shackled after what started off as a promising day. "But what say we evacuate the vicinity as soon as possible, shall we? Now, there must be an exit somewhere…" He began inspecting the ruins site warily, in case another monstrous creature decided to up and attack him with gnashing jowls again; he was lucky this time, but maybe fate would not be so kind to him a second time. However, all he found were broken pillars, eroded walls freckled and holed with fragments of blackened stone and ice, and pathways completely sealed off by waterfalls long since frozen. Only when he ventured to the far north side of the site did he find a ledge that rose about ten feet high with a cave entrance situated nearby. With a sigh of relief, Edd eagerly Space-Jumped to the top and worked his way into the nearby tunnel, leaving the ruined square behind.
A cool breeze overtook him as soon as he entered the nearly pitch-black, ice-glazed tunnel. With a gulp in his throat, Edd slowly made his way through, breathing in the crisp, frigid air (such a boon after the suffocating temperatures of Magmoor Oven-world!). As he made his way along the path while keeping his left hand against the cave wall for guidance, he thought he heard a frantic scurrying in the snow, which eventually faded out into a light scratching – he had not seen them, but apparently he had frightened off a small pack of local creatures. Regardless, the sounds nearly caused him to jump out of his boots.
"Gracious…" whispered Edd to himself, shaking with anticipation as he wandered ever deeper into the unknown. "Between alpha beetles, Magmoors, monstrous wasps and Sheegoths, I just can't determine which species to be afraid of! Maybe I should…woaaah!"
Obviously unable to tell where he was going, the unfortunate Edd took a wrong step and fell down onto a rather frigid sheet of ice, flat on his face, no less – he had not anticipated the transition from snow to ice, that was for sure. Who could?
"Ugh…why me?" complained poor Edd as he carefully rose to his feet, rubbing his aching nose and checking for loose teeth, acknowledging that today was really not destined to be a grand one despite the positive outset. While looking down, though, something caught the boy's eye…something so attention-grabbing that he could not help but take his hand away from his nose and place it on the ice. Suddenly he was grateful that he had fallen.
What had caught his attention, to be precise, was not the ice itself, but what appeared to be entrapped within it. Frankly, he had never seen anything quite like it: a web of electric blues and sapphire seemed to stretch out all along the expanse of the ice like some sort of psychotically-mutated lichen. He could not exactly tell whether it was a type of plant, but he was certain that it was not a natural occurrence – to be honest, he could not recall the last time he saw a blue, glowing plant.
"This is peculiar…" commented a quizzical Eddward as he tapped into his visor as he lowered his face to the ice, hoping to get a clearer look at the partially obscured web-like matter. Unfortunately, his lens could not produce sufficient results and did not know any more about the substance than he already did, but that did not stop Edd from speculating regardless. "What in the world could this substance be? It certainly looks somewhat floral, though I've never heard of purely ice-based plant life before. This can't be natural…is it alive? Oh, if only I could somehow get past this nefarious ice sheet…
"…Oh, it appears I have attained some results! Let's see what the scan says…"
Edd's heart skipped a beat upon reading the results.
"…Radioactive material?" he blurted out, taken aback by this unexpected data. "Could it be? Now I'm positive that something has gone awry in this region, much like the others, and…oh my word!" His surprise was only furthered upon looking upward to see that the cave ceiling was also splashed with the same blue material! "…This requires further analysis. I'll need to investigate this entire region before making any more assumptions…"
Keeping this organic matter in mind, Edd carefully made his way out of the cave, which fortunately led him back to the familiar, open shoreline area that he had first come across, though at this point he was overlooking the valley from one of the many humble cliff-sides jutting out of the mountainous geographical areas bordering the area. From here he could see that this wintery region expanded far further than he had originally speculated – even far off in the distance he could see, for miles and miles, snow-capped, jagged mountains reaching upward into the cloud-ridden skies. For only a moment the sun seemed to break out of the cloudy haze from behind the mountains, rendering the valley alight with a brilliant glow that, amplified by the pure-white snow, nearly blinded the boy.
Assuming he was looking north, he averted his gaze to the northwest and noticed something quite interesting – far in the distance, sitting snugly within a mountainside probably hundreds of yards away, was a collection of ruinous hand-crafted monuments and wrecked stone pillars, complete with what appeared to be an ornate watchtower or lighthouse rising in the middle of it. Another ruins site, mayhap? A temple, even? Undoubtedly, there was something there.
It just screamed "look at me! I'm hiding a secret!"
"Yes…yes, there are more ruined settlements to be found within Phendrana!" cried Edd, his face flushing with excitement as he trotted up the snowy path along the cliff-side until he reached a higher vantage point, from which he could see the entire valley in all of its wintry splendor – never mind the babbling brook that snaked through the location…those ruins looked positively edifying. "Oh, if only I had all the time in the world to excavate their splendor! Hmmm…well, perhaps a small detour wouldn't hurt…but how can I possibly get over there?"
Granted, there seemed to be no easy way to reach that area – the only way to go would be to go back the way he came, or enter the…well, convenient cave that happened to be just behind him. "Perhaps this will lead me around the area, through the mountains, and to that ruins site…" He passed through the opening in the cave wall, which seemed to be not a cave per se, but instead a threshold into a larger area. Devoid of anything but a carpet of snow that thinned toward the middle in order to create a narrow linear path to yet another opening in the cliff wall, Edd passed through this area as well.
And coincidentally enough, here remained even more remnants of Chozo architecture in the form of towering pillars leading into yet another ruined mini-settlement, very similar to the one he had passed through before. In fact, this one was almost identical to the one he was in before, albeit it seemed to be a mirrored version. Two Phendrana settlements in one day; Edd felt as if he'd won the lottery.
"The Chozo certainly favored the more mountainous regions, that much is certain," remarked Edd as he romped through the snow, peering into the side of a derelict building that happened to be missing its southernmost wall. "Come to think of it, the Chozo Ruins were quite elevated compared to, say, the rainforest and the caverns. Fascinating! Perhaps they preferred to preside over these lands...like kings."
He stepped into the base of the two-story building and gazed around, staring at the crumbling walls and the ornate steps within. Like before, his scan visor, unfortunately, was not able to give insight on everything he came across, which was indeed disappointing.
But what ultimately caught Edd's wandering eyes was a reoccurring treat: a liquid-covered panel, very similar (or perhaps identical) to the numerous ones he had seen in the Chozo Ruins, rested on the eastern wall of the second floor balcony, and at this point he knew all too well that therein contained ancient records left by the Chozo. A gleam in his eye, he prodded his visor, which promptly deciphered the alien script:
None know if our temple, the Cradle, will prove powerful enough to contain this evil forever. How can we Chozo hope for it to remain intact when that which it guards writhes in the darkness, growing always stronger? The fate of this world rests with the power of the Artifact we call Cipher, but even it is not all-powerful. It is strong, yes: an enchanted whole made of eleven links and one cardinal keystone. Still, it is finite in its reach, and we who guard it are slowly succumbing. When our vigilance crumbles away into madness, the Cipher will be exposed and the fate of Tallon IV will be beyond our influence.
"So apparently," mused Edd as he rested his chin on his wrist in contemplation. "The Chozo were aware of the 'poison' which had impacted the planet far enough in advance to construct a temple of some sort, which was intended to serve as a barrier to contain its influence…similar to the use of the Great Wall of China against the Mongolians. Very impressive that they were able to construct a temple in such a short span of time, I must admit."
His pondering effectively rendered him unaware of the rousing and shuffling of snow behind him, of course.
"And this 'Cipher' is what was used to imprison the poison," he continued. "Who knows if the temple still stands, though? I'd like to locate it if I have time…"
Edd turned around with the intention of leaving the vicinity and studying the surrounding environment a bit more closely; what he received instead was an eyeful of gnashing Sheegoth jowls.
The next thing he knew, he was outside of the building, his face buried in the snow having dived quite valiantly out of the way, and the infant predator was trying to wrench its head out of the building's wall, like a bull that had missed the matador. Biting his lower lip as his mind raced, he raised his arm cannon and activated his missile launcher, preparing to subdue the creature as quickly as he did the last.
Before the projectiles could fly, however, another set of jowls clamped down onto his arm cannon, and Edd let out a cry of terror at the sight of a second infant Sheegoth! The dastardly, eyeless predator's razor-teeth were unable to penetrate the hardy alloys of the arm cannon, but it was sure doing a heck of a job keeping Edd from wrenching it out of its mandibles. "Urgh, refrain! Abstain! Unhand me…please!" But the creature would not listen, nor could it, for the second and final act was about to commence.
Edd's eyes darted toward the building he had just been in and completely froze up upon seeing the first infant Sheegoth barreling toward him like a train, its hungry mandibles wide open like a cavernous chasm of razors. If it were not so frigid, Edd would have been perspiring like one wouldn't believe, but the fact that he was not thinking about taking a shower as a result of such a reaction allowed him ample time to generate a bomb in his left hand and toss it valiantly at the beast's mouth…and sure enough, the behemoth swallowed the orb.
The explosion was instant, and while it did not outwardly destroy the beast, it seemed to have ruptured the entirety of its internal organs, causing it to flop flimsily into the snow, effectively deceased.
"That's disgusting!...but effective…" cried Edd as he diverted his attention to the other Sheegoth, which was still clamped onto his weapon. This was a conundrum, and he had to act fast before it forsook the arm cannon and went straight for his face. His mind was quick, however, and thus he immediately began charging up a Power Beam shot – the gradual increase in the weapon's external temperature, due to the charging, irritated the Sheegoth, which promptly loosened its grip on the cannon and reeled back before lunging ferociously at Edd's face.
The boy's body threatened to freeze up, but his mind prevailed, allowing him to deftly roll out of harm's way and end up behind the creature, whereupon he unleashed the blast, rupturing the iced shell upon its back and revealing the organic interior.
Too preoccupied with the pain, the creature was unable to defend itself against the two missile blasts that shortly followed. It fell into the snow, lifeless as the ruined Chozo architecture surrounding it.
And before the snow had a change to settle, Edd was already on his way out of the vicinity.
"I swear, can't one find a single moment of solitude and silence in this forsaken wasteland of a planet, well I never…and surely…that's no excuse for…"
His aggravated muttering never ceased as he pulled himself up onto the roof of another building in the area, and this one in particular seemed to have been built directly into the cliff-side, which meant that the roof led directly onto a cliff-side path that would apparently take him around to the other side of the mountain range. This short walk served no problems, fortunately, and the other side of the mountain offered a truly different change of scenery. He had seen images of such wonders when he was in school perusing geography textbooks in the library, sure, but this was definitely the first time he had stumbled across an actual canyon (a frosted one, no less).
Admittedly, its depths were not as far-reaching as the Grand Canyon's back on Earth, nor its expanse as wide, but to fall off this cliff and into the crevice below would surely be quite devastating…or slippery; the subzero temperatures of Phendrana had glazed the canyon-bowl with a thick sheet of ice in which Edd could see the sky clearly reflected. On the other side of the great divide was another series of mountains, though unfortunately they looked to be far less traversable and far more jagged and treacherous…but there was one alcove within those cliff walls that looked fairly interesting, and thus Edd deemed it worth checking out.
And, lo and behold, his means of reaching the other end were presented to him on a silver platter! A recurring element in these wastes, a series of rocket-propelled, snow-covered platforms of rock provided hovering, mid-air stepping stones leading directly to that alcove; it was as if someone had constructed them just for the sake of leading a wayward wanderer across the trench.
Look at it this way, Eddward, thought Edd to himself, the gut feeling that something was in that far-off alcove weighing out the thought of slipping and plummeting down the canyon. This will be the first, and perhaps the only time, where you could actually say you've hovered over an open canyon.
His mind made up in record time, the boy leaped from the cliff-side with a running start and plomped down onto the first platform, his Space Jump Boots his saviors once more. He wobbled his arms in the air in an attempt to retain balance, but opted to get down on all fours, as the platform was certainly much smaller than he made it out to be…not too unstable, though, so it was manageable.
"Okay, okay, okay, that's the first one…good job, Eddward, good job," he stammered to himself through a nervous grimace as he peered downward at the trench. Well, it certainly was not as deep as he made it out to be – if he happened to fall, there would probably only be a seventy-something percent chance that he would die instantly…leaving another thirty-percent chance that he would only fracture his spinal column or break both his legs. Not too bad, right?
"Nope, not bad at all…" the boy lied as he slowly got up onto eve-wobbling legs, fighting the urge to be airsick, seasick, snowsick, and icesick all at once. "Courage, Eddward…that's what you need…okay, now for the next one-"
A sudden rumbling sound followed by a jarring quaking sensation under his feet derailed Edd's train of thought and nearly caused him to tumble straight down into the trench. He looked downward in panic and noticed that, horror of horrors, his miniscule weight was still too much for the fragile platform to bear; he nearly screamed as he watched it begin crumble away and collapse at his very boot-tips!
"Oh drat!" Without preparation the lad jumped to the next platform, though his unstable landing caused this stepping stone to crumble away as well! His heart pounding rapid-fire, he sprung onto the next platform, and then unto the next, and he somehow got the feeling that they were getting much more spread out from each other as he went. But the alcove was so near…he had to risk this last one; and so, with one final, courageous effort, he sprung toward the final platform.
But Edd's path was deterred as his right leg immediately sank straight through.
"Baaaargh!" Edd's shrill scream echoed across the canyon walls as the rest of his body began to sink through the platform, his left hand restlessly clawing at its snowy surface as death wrested its sickly grip around his ankle. He felt like an animal that had just stepped onto a trap hole covered with well disguised leaves, bound straight for a short future of darkness.
But Edd was never short of solutions, and this case was no different.
…Oh, please, don't miss…
A trail of electric-blue shot out from under the white remains of the destroyed platform and, like a whip, wrapped around a rock jutting from the cliff's edge; Edd immediately swung down into the cliff wall below, striking face-first into its rough surface. He panted heavily and urged himself not to look down as his bones rattled with an even mixture of fright and adrenaline. He looked upward, at first in disbelief, but then a warm feeling overtook him as he slowly began to smile.
He did not miss. The Grapple Beam had met its mark and saved his life, and he felt pretty freaking good.
Using the beam as a climbing rope, he slowly worked his way up along the cliff wall a good twenty feet until he finally reached the engraved alcove in the cliff side, whereupon he pulled himself up and rolled onto his back in the deep snow. He did not care about how he was ever going to get back to the other end of the canyon…he was just happy that his accuracy had given him the chance to live another day.
It took a while before his breath slowly regressed back to its normal rate, and as it did so, a faint blue shimmer appeared in the corner of his left eye. Curious, Edd slowly sat up and looked toward the inner wall of the cave, and a strange artifact caught his wandering eye. It appeared formless, yes, but still it existed as a glowing mass of slate blue, exuding light energy in every direction like a dimly-lit light bulb…without the bulb, of course.
"It appears my hunch was correct…a good thing, too, which means this endeavor wasn't for naught," sighed Edd as he approached the beckoning light. "Let's hope this will provide a means to get back across this trench, yes?" With a heart full of high hopes, his left hand reached into the light…and as soon as he did so it dissipated into nothingness.
He recalled that this happened twice back in the Chozo Ruins, when he attained his Bomb Glove and Varia Suit, and so he amused himself with a game of guessing what aspect of his Varia Suit would be augmented next. His guess was right, to say the least, when his feet and shins became slightly warmer than usual. He looked downward at his feet, but noticed no aesthetic change in his boots, though they did sport a glossy sheen to them – very nice, indeed! And so Edd turned to his visor, which had become well-known for giving him accurate suit diagnostics. What did it have to say this time? What new ability did the boy chance upon?
Taking his time in reading through the text and analyzing the data, Edd realized what a boon this new mechanism was going to be in his travels…though it did make him a little queasy at the prospect of doing such a thing. He could easily see someone like Kevin doing something so extreme, but Kevin was not on Tallon IV; he was.
Disengaging the text, Edd walked toward the precipice of the alcove and gazed down at the canyon, which loomed about fifty-something feet below, though it was probably much deeper than that. Regardless, he was going to have to do the unimaginable to get back to the other side.
He wasn't cold, of course, but still Edd made a conscious effort to stop his body from trembling.
I can't believe I'm about to do something so rash… thought Edd, unable to speak through rattling teeth as he inched closer and closer to the precipice of the cliff, feeling a bit like he was about to unwittingly commit suicide. But…but I must! Alright, here we go…3...2…
"One!" shouted Edd as he ceased his deep-breathing exercises and jumped straight off the cliff and into the maw of the trench below. The frigid air quickly rushed past him and scratched and singed his face, the torrents of wind deafening him to his own wailing. The hard part, though, was that he had to concentrate…concentrate harder than he ever had to before, for if he screwed this up…
No, he could not afford to screw up. Not after that awesome Grapple Beam stunt he pulled.
So with a concentrated effort, and with the bottom of the canyon nearing ever faster, Edd carefully readjusted himself in midair and stuck out his toes as far as he could. And with a sudden ching-whirrrr, Edd knew that the contraption had begun to work.
Edd did not go ker-splat! against the ground, as much as he had expected to. Instead, he skated down the cliff wall and onto the canyon floor, as if it were but a simple halfpipe in a modern-day skate park!
The boy strained and wobbled in order to keep his balance, but once he retained his composure, he kept straight ahead, a smile widening on his face. "Yes…yes! Success! Success!"
Edd's joy was unsurpassable; his brand-new 'Boost Boots' were operating at full capacity. The mechanisms, when motion-activated by Edd at the outstretching of his toes, activated a series of gravity-boosters on the bottom of his boots that allowed him to constantly hover about three inches off of the ground; however, the real kicker was the fact that this allowed Edd to boost himself at high speeds across surfaces on which he would normally have to walk. Luckily, Edd was pretty darn good at ice-skating (and floor-skating!) back at the cul-de-sac, so this was simply a breeze for him – it simply ice-skating without the blades, after all.
Eager to truly test out the capabilities of this new mechanism, Edd gleefully skated across the expansive canyon floor, his own reflection in the ice joining him as he went at an ample speed, the frosty yet refreshing Phendrana atmosphere gliding past his face, and before he knew it, he had reached the very end of the canyon where he had first arrived, whereupon he directed himself straight up one of the slippery canyon walls and landed quite comfortably in the soft, new-fallen snow.
Shaking with excitement, Edd curled his toes, deactivating the Boost function. I bet I would have shown Kevin a thing or two! thought the boy with a laugh – he never thought much of those show-offy professional skaters on television, but now he could partially understand the reason why they sought such thrills – it was pretty fun! Luckily enough the function was easy enough to get used to, which had become readily apparent when Edd didn't screw up or fall on his butt while using it.
With another enthralling endeavor behind him, he brushed the sticky snow off of his Varia Suit as he pondered where to go next, remembering the far-off ruins site by the shorelines; he definitely wanted to investigate that area in order to discover more about the ancient Chozo-established civilizations that seemed to be speckled across Tallon IV. Fortunately enough, upon a quick survey of the area, Edd noticed that the pathway he had taken to reach the canyon forked back in the same direction, except this path seemed to lead to a much higher perch than the last one.
Right; that seems to be the path I'll need to take, he thought as he cleaned off his snowflake-speckled visor. Instead of leading me back to those smaller ruins sites, this trail should direct me straight through the mountains and back to the shorelines. There, I should end up on a reasonably high cliff that will allow me to just jump straight over to that larger ruins site. It should be close enough, I think.
Before setting out on the trail, however, the tantalizing shimmer of recently-formed ice caught Edd's peripheral view, and he turned to the left to see what it was; and how fortunate that he would stumble upon another wholesome tablet of Chozo lore within this canyon site. As always, his scan visor revealed the meaning behind the writings of the long-gone civilization:
Many Chozo have gone beyond now, and this is a mercy. Those of us who remain suffer in dimensional flux, drifting helplessly across time and space, guided by unseen and inexorable currents. The Chozo who cling to sanity fight the tide, but our minds are weakening. Soon we will all be like the Turned, Chozo who have been corrupted by the Great Poison. The Turned still hold to their Chozo forms, but their minds are black with fell intentions. Gone is their respect for life. They honor only destruction, and seek to disrupt the Artifact holding the Great Poison at bay. All life taunts them, and they do not rest. Before long, they will be all that remain of the Chozo here.
With a slight tap, the text was gone, and Edd had set out on the high road, his mind a-race with questions as he tried to dig up answers at the same time. His assumption that the path would lead him straight through the mountains and right back to the shorelines was correct, and so it was not long before he once again stepped out onto the familiar cliff-side overlooking the expansive shoreline valley. He took in a gulp of fresh air, relishing in the excitement of exploration, accidentally inhaling a snowflake and practically choking on it for a few seconds.
Though he had to hit his chest a few times and had to try to calm down, his mind was a-flutter with endless questions – his intrigue in the Chozo had once again arisen, as it had not been satiated within Magmoor and he had only caught a glimpse of the civilization's records back in the previous ruins.
"Surely there must be more that the Chozo left behind…" he mused as he brushed the fluttering snowflakes off of his visor and scanned the horizon – the star at the center of Tallon IV's solar system had begun to sink toward the alien horizon, and was a subtle reminder of the time that had passed since he and his friends opened up the Ed-to-Go stand at daybreak. He feared that it would be nightfall soon, and he did not really want to know what horrors awaited him in the nocturnal version of Tallon IV.
Luckily, his visor system had finally gained a sense of coordination and was able to give a good reading of the cardinal directions. Thus Edd learned that the region he was facing (namely the one that led to the elevator that came from Magmoor, the area from which he first arrived in Phendrana) was located to the north, which meant that he must have been on the far south end of the planet. At least he knew where he was, in a sense…though he still felt quite lost.
But his mind returned to the Chozo, and his bit his lower lip as he thought. "The buildings and records I've come across so far are indeed marvelous, but there must be something else…" He looked once again to the northwest, eyeing the far-off ruins he had seen before. Luckily, at this elevation, his Space Jump Boots would be able to give him the boost he needed to reach that area…
"There's got to be something within that site," asserted Edd, mapping out his course and preparing to head over to the far-off ruins area. "I know I shouldn't be indulging myself with all of this excavation, but…I must discover the mystery of the Chozo. There are so many loose ends that I've stumbled upon throughout my perilous escapade on this planet…I just know that they're all connected somehow."
He nodded to himself and inhaled deeply once more. "Right, then. Time to-"
REEAAAAARRRK!
A sudden piercing screech from the sky prompted a nerve-shot Edd to yelp in surprise and dive back under the threshold of the mountain cave for cover. Lying flat on his stomach and shielding his head with his lustrous arm cannon, he peeked out toward the direction of the shoreline but saw nothing…nothing that could have emitted that horrifying screech, that is.
"Oh my word…what in heaven's name was that?!" stammered Edd, his chin burrowed deeply into the snow, his body trembling not from the freezing regional temperatures, but out of sheer fright. He had heard quite a vast array of primal cries since he landed on the planet, but this…this was something borne of an infernal nightmare…
And then something entered his field of vision…
A shadow?
Indeed, a shadow had suddenly been cast on the white-carpeted cliff that Edd had just been standing on, but it soon disappeared and was then cast on the valley far down below, traveling northward toward the far-off mountains Edd had seen before...probably toward the Magmoor region, or perhaps the rainforest where the gunship was. He could only catch a quick glimpse of it, but Edd was certain that he had seen that silhouette before…a winged, avian monstrosity, skeletal in form and reptilian in anatomy.
His heart pounding, Edd quickly, on all fours, scampered toward the cliff edge and looked toward the sky, far above the valley that he was overlooking. The alien sun was shining very brightly, so he could not get a good glimpse of the creature flying toward the endless white horizon.
But when the clouds overtook the Tallon sun, the figure became all too clear to Edd's eyes.
"…Ridley?!" whispered Edd as he watched the dreaded and ever-fearsome Space Pirate leader sail off toward the horizon on translucent, vermillion wings. "What in heaven's name…oh my word…that was Ridley!"
"Olly olly oxen free!"
Though the automated door had sealed itself shut, Ed's courage and curiosity was not the least bit deterred as he stepped into the hulking, pitch-black chamber. His loud cry echoed freely off of the many walls within the massive room, indicating its incredible proportions – the area must have been at least two stories tall! Unfortunately, even Ed did not possess the ability to see in the dark, and thus he simply wandered aimlessly within the chamber, a guffaw in his throat as his boots clink-clanked against the metallic floor.
That is, until he struck face-first into an incredibly solid object that sent him staggering backward and onto his backside. "Whoops!" blathered the boy as he began to rise to his feet. "Excuse me, miss! Didn't see you there!" He squinted his eyes to get a good look at what he had just run into, but in the debilitating darkness, he could see naught but a faint, cylindrical shape that resembled a six-foot-tall containment tank with a translucent peering-glass. He pressed his fish-face against the glass and peered inside the tank, his open mouth fogging up the pristine surface.
…Nope, not a thing. Nothing interesting beyond the faint silhouette of what appeared to be a pair of ordinary-looking ski-goggles, but Ed wouldn't have been able to identify them if he tried. Thus, he lost interest in that and became more fixated on the fact that the glass tasted a bit like peppermint.
Turning his attention away and letting his tongue hang lazily out of his open mouth like an affable mutt, Ed looked around the room and saw that, in fact, it was not all morosely dark, and there were some sources of illumination, namely the large tanks that bordered every corner of the hexagonally-shaped room. These containment tanks were engraved into the wall like the giant exhibits that one would typically see in an aquarium, and were artificially illuminated to boot. In fact, as Ed looked upward, he could see that a tank was present on every wall on every level on this multi-story room – there must have been at least twenty of them! Unfortunately, several of them seemed to be completely empty or defunct – the one to Ed's immediate right flickered on and off, signifying a faulty electrical circuit within. The others, though…
"Whoa…way cool!" gasped the excited boy, trotting over to the northernmost tank and pressing his face against it, his eyes open wide and his jaw hanging open in a gleeful smile as he peered at the specimen stored within. The Orpheon had held some frightening insectoid specimens and remnants, all of which had entrapped his attention quite easily at the time, but this was something the he had only pictured in his wildest dreams…and maybe even this was out of his league.
But what in the world was it? That was the exciting thing! A phantom jellyfish? A carnivorous Jell-O apparition? Or the "Ethereal Squid Behemoth from SR388"? Gelatinous or no, he wanted to get his hands on it and freaking suffocate it with one of his fabled bear-hugs. ...And then it would dissipate into amorphous goo, and he'd probably be sad for a moment or two.
But it would truly be the "Ed" thing to do.
"Oh, it likes me!" he guffawed, wonderstruck as he eyed the basket-ball sized creature hovering emotionlessly in the tank, placid and perhaps a bit sedated, unresponsive to his attempts to garner its attention. Turning around and gaining a full view of each luminescent tank, he entered a state of pure marvel. "There's so many of them! Oh boy, oh boy! I wish Double Dee and Eddy were here to see this!
"Oh, I know! I bet Double Dee would say 'oh, how splendiferous! May I study their brains?!' and Eddy would say 'Let's sell the squids for cash!'"
Knowing that there were probably more aquatic wonders in the upper levels, and thoroughly believing that he had somehow found his way into Magic Seaworld, Ed took the nearby ramped staircase up to the highest level of the multi-story containment chamber, his eyes darting all about and marveling at the containment tanks as he traveled upward, level by level. At the top he found nothing too different save for an array of tanks that were, for the most part, filled with nothing but oxygen.
But what-ho! A hexagonal, automatic door reminiscent of the one he found in the cave was resting at the northernmost corner of the room. Eager to discern what wonders resided within, Ed galloped toward the portal and rammed headfirst into it. When the door did not budge, he stared at it, thoroughly confused, until he tried to whack it open with his arm cannon Russell.
Ker-thwack! Ker-thonk! Ker-ping! Ker-wump!
…Yet the portal did not budge. However, what did budge on the fourth strike were Ed's eardrums, shaken by the piercing squeal of an emergency siren, suddenly sounding all throughout the chamber. The noise aching like toothpicks in his drumsticks, Ed clasped onto his ears and gritted his teeth in pain as he backed far away from the door and into the railing at the very end of the balcony. His vision was impaired by the chaotic flashing of crimson lights within the room, and thus he did not notice the multitude of security cameras that automatically homed in on his location. However, though he did not know what to do or what science-fiction reference to allude to…
…He knew that he had just screwed up big time.
The sudden revelation that Ridley was indeed present on Tallon IV had immediately caused Edd's weary heart to sink and his most horrid theories became a tad more valid than he would have hoped.
For instance, was he correct in his assumptions that the Space Pirates were indeed conducting operations on the planet? In Phendrana, no less?
Well, no use denying it now – the Space Pirates are also on Tallon IV…oh, this is just wonderful, he silently mused as he looked off toward the horizon where the dragon had flown off to. Wherever that thing was going, Edd would be sure to think twice before going in the same direction. He suspected that there may have been something going on behind the scenes that he and his friends were not initially aware of. Perhaps they were in more danger than he had initially suspected, but he could only wonder where that blasted dragon was sailing off to this time…
"Well, no use mulling over such details," sighed an exasperated Edd as he neared the cliff edge once again. From his current altitude, Edd could see the whole of Phendrana, and to great benefit, for after doing a bit of mental calculation, he determined that he could physically make it over the ruins site he had been longing to investigate.
And the Space Jump Boots could make it happen. With a running start, Edd boosted himself off of the cliff and straight toward the ruins site, using his boots to lightly glide several dozen yards and down onto the entrance of the site. Greeted by ridiculously tall architecture and pillars ravaged by the snows of time upon landing, Edd knew that he was in for quite the treat.
He truly wanted to investigate the interior of the temple, though the outside of the site quite interested him regardless: it did not take Edd long to find a resemblance within the sculptures that towered over him, and from what he could tell, they clearly resembled those he had previously seen in the Chozo Ruins only hours ago. Their extravagant designs and attention to detail signified that the Chozo must have established a colony or temple around the area, and, curious as to the nature of such an area, Edd ducked under the archway within the ruins site and emerged from a cave into quite a grandiose area.
He had come to expect no less from the Chozo. A three-story tall depiction of what seemed to be a celebrated elder of said race silently greeted him into a clearing surrounded by high-rising, time-eroded walls of ancient past. Edd could not help but silently nod to the statue; he felt as if it were personally welcoming him into the halls of the ancients, and to be honest, as a twelve-year-old denizen from a small cul-de-sac on the planet Earth, he felt extremely honored to be in its presence.
Edd looked upward and saw that the temple did not end at the head of the statue, for it expanded to about a total of five or six stories in height, and at its very top gushed a still, crystalline waterfall, long since frozen by the ices of time, and from this Edd guessed that he was standing at what used to be the basin of those falls. Unfortunately Edd could not gather much information or appreciation out of the cracked and derelict walls that surrounded him, so he set his sights high and let loose his Grapple beam on one of the statue's outstretched fingers and gently pulled himself up.
"Normally I would never dream of scaling such a decrepit old monument, especially one as…well, tall as this one!" grunted Edd to himself as he slowly, and ever-so-carefully, climbed his way up the shoulder of the statue and rested against the monolith's well-crafted head (which was probably about the size of a trailer, it must be said) before scoping out another outcropping to grapple. "But there's one thing the Chozo have proven, it's that their architecture is very durable! Who knows how long these statues have resided here?" A trail of electric-blue snaked outward and wrapped around an outcropping about fifteen feet above the statue's head, at which point Edd began climbing up it, nearing the five-story mark. Looking downward, he could see the basin where he had just been standing – a unique sight that nobody else would ever experience, for sure.
At this point he was at a high enough altitude to see that the frozen falls did have a source, and that they extended into a long, ornately-decorated corridor at the very top of the temple that seemed to lead into even further areas, and thus Edd carefully hovered down and landed on the frozen river.
Finding himself flanked by a series of pillars that continued all the way down to the end of the corridor, he carefully shimmied his way across the icy path, toward yet another well-crafted, albeit much, much smaller statue depicting yet another Chozo elder with its arms outstretched in what appeared to be an act of offering, though from its bird-like beak fell a frozen stream of everlasting ice. Apparently, the region's effects had taken their toll on the wonders that existed here.
"It appears the Chozo had a penchant for honoring their elders…" commented Edd with a slight smirk, wondering just how many of these monoliths he had missed during his excursion back at the Chozo Ruins. "Unfortunately my scan visor doesn't provide me with a name for these leaders…well, isn't that inconvenient…"
But there remained more to see, apparently; to the statue's left existed what appeared to be a small but traversable tunnel that Edd just might have been able to fit through. Luckily enough, the frosty climate may have reduced the amount of germs that could have been infesting that tunnel, so Edd allowed his curiosity to lead him through it. Also luckily, the ice in the tunnel allowed him to slide quite easily inside, so there was not much physical strain to undergo before he found himself at the other side, brushing his suit off and taking in a lung-full of fresh, frosty air once more.
"Ah…well, now this is more like it!"
The archaeologist in Edd quite liked the chamber that the tunnel had just led him to. If Edd had to label the area, he'd probably use the word "chapel", given its wide expanse, snow-carpeted floors that made the scene look quite regal, and its highly-ornate, decorative walls riddled with Chozo engravings and artistic patterns Edd had never seen before. The room was more or less plus-sign-shaped, which Edd personally felt to be an odd design choice by his standards, but who in the world was he to question the ways of an alien civilization? Sometimes he criticized the Chozo, and sometimes he reveled in their wonders…perhaps this was just karma acting up after all of the mishaps back at the Chozo Ruins.
Edd walked along the snow-carpeted floor of the basket-ball-court-sized chapel, looking upward at the gaping hole in the ceiling that let in a very picturesque ray of sunlight that just plain added to the whole aesthetic charm of the place. Granted, there was not much to be studied here, but at least the place was quite marvelous to behold.
In fact, he was so taken in by the architecture that it was nearly two full minutes before he noticed the faint violet shimmer of light resting under the sizeable archway at the very end of the chapel. At this point, "shiny object" virtually meant "really good thing" to Edd, so naturally he started toward it like a fly to a light blub.
…Or like a fly to a fly zapper.
Shooom-shooom-shooom-shooom! In an instant, Edd saw a wall of gargantuan proportions rise from the ground and block the archway where the artifact resided, and when he turned around in panic, he found that the four corner-walls that had given the room its plus-sign shape had fallen, revealing a bloodthirsty infant Sheegoth awaiting restlessly behind each; a full pack of them, to be exact!
And as was typical, all four of them barreled toward him, one coming in from each direction.
Edd's body wanted to melt into a pile of goo from the terror and the notion that he was about to be horribly maimed and grotesquely ingested, but his mind knew better – he had developed the tactics necessary for survival over this past day, and was not about to give in to defeat so easily. As his surroundings and the charging Sheegoths seemed to enter a mysterious phase of slow-motion, quickly pondered his options:
Alright now…let's calm down and assess the situation. Four infant predators are coming at me from four directions: north, south, east and west. Arm cannon? No no no, I'd need to get behind them to do substantial damage – using missiles or the like would be ineffective from the front. Bombs? Perhaps, but I'll just attribute that last time to luck. Plus, there are four of them! Boost boots? Hardly; I'm trapped on all four sides, I'd never have time to escape. Grapple Beam? Don't be silly…although…
And then the solution appeared within the confines of his mind in a golden brilliance. Ah, this should work nicely.
Edd took a deep breath as the world returned to its normal pace.
…And an eye-blink later Edd was up in the air, and the four infant Sheegoths collided right into each other's faces. Not wasting any time, Edd swiftly dropped down from his incredibly deft Space Jump and quickly fashioned his Grapple Beam into a makeshift electric-blue energy lasso. He then hurled it straight toward the discombobulated Sheegoth collective, the beam-rope successfully trapping them, at which point Edd tightly pulled on it, effectively wrangling all four of them into a helpless bunch.
He was right: that one worked nicely, indeed.
"There we go!" cried Edd through a beamish grin as he separated the Grapple Beam from the metal module that generated it, tying a knot so as to contain the befuddled and trapped predators. "Nonviolent and quite traditional…I reckon!" Edd laughed after giving that last phrase quite the cheesy cowboy accent as he wiped his visor clean once more – he was not always given the luxury, but he much preferred handling confrontations in the most delicate way possible.
"Right, well, you four can just stay here while I go peruse that artifact, alright?" smiled Edd to the infant Sheegoths, who had begun to partially stir from their daze; one of them in particular had the gall to turn around and belch in Edd's general direction, at which point Edd reacted by shrieking like a little girl and zooming away on his Boost Boots as quickly as possible.
As he disengaged the boost function and tried to rid his nose of that disgusting odor, however, Edd couldn't help but feel that there was a bit of a seismic upheaval occurring within the chapel. Something akin to a small rumbling, really, that shook the ground every three-or-so seconds...kind of like an incoming stampede.
Edd paused his freaking-out and took careful measure of what was happening within the chapel, though he couldn't really put his finger on what exactly was occurring. "Odd…these reverberations aren't something that should be natural to this area. In fact, it sounds like it could be attributed to-"
Ka-crasssshhhh!
The gargantuan stone wall to Edd's right exploded in a flurry of fragments, bricks, and dust, and the boy's heart nearly rocketed into his own throat as he fell on his backside from the shock. Frantically, he backed away into the opposite wall as he gawked with disbelieving eyes at the fell behemoth that had burst from its archaic prison.
…And the first thing that entered his vision was a monstrous, never ending maelstrom…of teeth. A set of teeth so nightmare-inducing that the maws of the infant Sheegoths seemed like softened candy corns in comparison.
And at that point, Edd knew that 'nonviolently' was not how this was going to turn out.
He had to admit it: at the rate things were going, things actually could have gotten worse than they already were, but Eddy just could not imagine how.
The exasperated boy looked upward at the expansive, winding cavern he had just tumbled through, unimpressed at the notion that he had actually fallen for such a cliché adventuring pitfall. What was more, it took him somewhere between five to twenty-something minutes to actually wake up from the concussion he received upon landing, so that was pretty embarrassing. He was definitely not going to be going back the way he came, so he did the only thing he could do: he marched valiantly forward in the face of trepidation!
Well, maybe not valiantly; the scowling loudmouth simply kept to his irate grumbling and mumbling as he grudgingly proceeded through the dimly-lit hallway, his lungs practically churning inside out at the prospect of having to inhale this stale air.
"Pfft…'at least I'm still in one piece!' Yeah, right. This whole shtick is bunk," snarled the boy as he ducked under a rust-hinged automatic doorway that only opened halfway. "Gawh, my stupid jaw still hurts." He grew tired of having to rub his own face with his left hand and became quite angry with the fact that his arm cannon was stuck on his right forearm twenty-four seven. "Urgh, stupid-lousy-stinkin'…"
He was pleasantly surprised when the arm cannon slid off like a glove, to say the least. Then he threw it as hard as he could against the rock wall of the hallway he had just passed through; he smirked as a small bit of stress escaped from his ears, and then he ran back and got his arm cannon, carrying it under his left arm as he went. His right hand was getting cramped up anyway.
He returned to the room he had entered before running back to get his weapon and was thoroughly confused by the layout, right off the bat. The whole room seemed to be quite sprawling in height, and Eddy guessed it was about as tall as a three-story house. There appeared to be three sets of balconies circling around the room, one on each floor, so apparently there were three different levels of this complex…which meant the place was likely pretty huge. But what really threw the kid off was the massive pillar stretching from the floor all the wait to the high-reaching ceiling. Scribbled with red, blue, and yellow rail tracks, pipes, as well as strange conduits that he couldn't even begin to understand (not that he wanted to, frankly). He supposed that it was just placed there to confuse him and tick him off.
Because that's probably what the Space Pirates were trying to do in the first place: tick Eddy, from the small cul-de-sac of Peach Creek, off. That was their mission. That had to be it.
"Looks like a trash heap," remarked the impatient boy as he looked around for something a bit more interesting than something that looked like an object he could have found in the local junkyard. But there was nothing to satiate his desire for something interesting, so, confused as to how the whole construct worked, Eddy knew that there was, once again, nowhere to go but up, and those balconies looked like a good place to start.
So, not seeing any ladders around, he jumped as high as he could and, with the power of his Space Jump Boots, was able to grab the railing of the first upper level and pulled himself up. "Whoa-ho, who's the man? Come on, who's the man? Yeah-hah…let's do this…"
A confident grimace etched upon his face, Eddy looked upward and saw another railing and jumped for that one…
Ka-thunk!
"Dawwwwwwwrgh!"
Needless to say, he wasn't nearly as successful as he'd predicted and planted himself jaw-first onto it with a very well-resounding ka-thunk! Trying to mask his embarrassment from the concrete walls, he sheepishly pulled himself onto it and saw a third level and jumped for that one, his rousing failure from the last jump causing him to falter yet again and just barely grab hold of it, taking care not to drop his arm cannon as he pulled himself onto the third and final balcony.
"Dah, what's with this stupid jaw?! Grrrgh!"
Needless to say it was a while before he got back up – Eddy was not a very cool customer when he became angry, and this complex was clearly wearing his patience thin. Not wanting to look back at the sizeable chamber he had just scaled, he scampered through the nearest doorway.
But lo and behold, Eddy found himself once again overlooking another seemingly endless downward chute leading into treacherous darkness unknown, and in his haste he nearly tumbled downward yet again, nearly repeating his mistake! However, Eddy was quite witty and prided himself in his inability to be fooled twice (sometimes), and was wary of the dire implications of such a fall, and instead had the common sense to instead slowly hover down the chute with the help of his boots.
Fifty feet he descended before he reached the bottom floor and landed on it gently with a soft ka-clank. At the bottom of the chasm he found himself in quite the small storage chamber, though immediately to his left he noticed another, slightly larger room which he just so happened to mosey into. This chamber, he noticed, was circular in nature, sporting quite a low-ceiling, not to mention rather nifty-looking control panel resting along the right wall, which he immediately took notice of.
"Looks like something Double Dee would mess around with," murmured Eddy as he prodded the thing, but continuous poking, punching, thrashing, and drop-kicking proved useless and could not evoke a response from the module. It took a while before Eddy's temper receded and he realized that a more delicate and analytical approach was required. And so, sneering and feeling like quite the geek, he activated his scan visor and analyzed the control board:
Access to Phazon Mines Level Two granted.
"Pfft, yeah, 'Phazon Mines,'" jeered Eddy as the room suddenly whirred to life much like the decrepit old elevators did way back on the Orpheon. "More like the 'Trash Heap of Outer Space…with Space Pirates and Lamebrains'. I'd rather be at the Jawbreaker Factory…or the stinking dump!"
As he guessed, the room was a makeshift elevator, and as it finished whirring to life, it began to slowly descend at a rather crawling pace. Though he knew that he was temporarily safe and that he had luckily not encountered any Space Pirates besides the one he had to tussle with beforehand, he was also aware that he was actually descending deeper into this deathtrap. His anger was a good way to mask his fright, however – if there was anyone who felt more lost in this situation and more alienated than anyone, it was probably him.
And, of course, he really missed the other Eds.
Luckily enough, there was a large, single paned window on the far north end of the elevator, and seeing how there was nothing else to distract him, he curiously peered out of it, hoping to get a good bearing on where he was…or to see if he was on Mars or something.
"Uh…jeez Louise…this is just like something outta one of Ed's sci-fi movies…"
Eddy was right; this was peculiar. Through the looking-glass, Eddy was gawking at what appeared to be the inside of a gargantuan crater. He thought back to when he first entered outer space back at the dock of the Orpheon, and vaguely remembered seeing such a crater on the planet's surface from afar. Well, this was that same crater, no doubt about it.
What was more, these so-called 'Phazon Mines' were positioned near the bottom of that crater, within the very edges of it, no less. He looked toward the sky, expecting to see an array of overcast clouds or at least the alien sun, but instead he witnessed something just as, or even more peculiar: there, floating in midair several hundred feet above the crater, was a massive chunk of earth, about the size of a skyscraper, or even larger than that. And it was just floating there, as if by magic.
This was it. Eddy was finally interested. He wanted to know what in the world was causing that huge chunk of matter to float like that! What was it there for? What caused that crater in the first place? Why were the Space Pirates developing something called the 'Phazon Mines' only a mile or two from the center? That last bit wasn't nearly as interesting or cool as that giant floating piece of planet, but he still wanted to know.
But Eddy could not get a better glimpse before the elevator reached its destination, and his view was blocked by the age-old planetary crust, and before long, he was alone again.
…Well, this was telling.