Chapter 10: I'm On A Boat Motherfuckers!
"Vermilion appears to be in one piece, by some miracle or another," Leaf said, a smile crossing her face. She couldn't help but feel relieved as she and her traveling partner ambled into the waterfront city. It seemed the Human Hurricane hadn't blown through and ruined countless lives in his wake to become the very best.
"Knowing that moron, he's probably challenged the Gym by now. If we're lucky he's either defeated it with no problems, or he lost and is training somewhere else," Blue said with a shrug.
You know, it's pretty sad that these kids have come to accept and understand a budding psychopath's actions, and they aren't completely fazed by it. The tragedy of a city's destruction will do that to you, I suppose.
"Well, what do you want to do?" Leaf asked as they headed for the Pokemon Center. "Are you going to challenge the Gym right now?"
As they entered and approached the counter of the very peppy Nurse Joy, Blue replied, "Actually, don't we have those tickets Bill gave us to the S.S. Anne? I think it's here, at the docks."
"That is correct, young man," Joy said happily, taking the balls from the patrons. "The S.S. Anne is preparing for her maiden voyage to Hoenn today and they are having an exquisite party before sailing off. I believe it has started already."
Leaf took the balls back and put them away before pulling out her ticket. It had the time and location of the party printed on it. She was a bit disappointed that she would only be able to attend the party and not actually sail off to Hoenn. Perhaps I'll get my chance to explore Hoenn one day, she thought.
"You want to get free drinks and challenge spoiled rich people to Pokemon battles?" Blue asked as Leaf quickly used the PC Box to deposit her Clefairy and retrieve her brand new Eevee.
"Why not? It might be fun and as the cool kids say, "YOLO swag, nerds!"" Leaf said before she poorly attempted a dab.
Blue could only stare at the sheer uncoolness that was the girl named Leaf. She was incapable of being saved from her nerdiness.
"Thank you, and remember that Arceus punishes sinners who do not abstain from lust," Joy said to the two departing children, who paid her no mind.
As they left the Center, they noticed that she had slipped both buttons with "I Arceus" written on them and pamphlets with the words "Abstinence is Your Friend" on the front. They promptly threw these unwelcome gifts into the trash can nearby.
Leaf looked at the daunting sight of the S.S. Anne before her as the two kids walked onto the pier. It was a brilliant white color and consisted of many round windows on the side of the ship. She could hear the distant boom of music and raucous laughter from the upper deck above.
"Huh, sounds like a good time going on up there," Blue said before walking towards the bouncer near the platform. "You coming or not, Leafy?"
Leaf pouted at him, but gulped as she approached the bouncer at the gangway. The only parties she had ever attended were her parents' work socials, though she figured those parties were vastly different than the one being held on the cruise ship.
Well, she figured as long as she stuck by Blue she'd be alright in this new social habitat. He seemed like the type to get invited to parties a lot, forgetting that he was from a hick town with few people and his only friend was a weirdo.
"Tickets, please," the bouncer said. Leaf and Blue handed over the tiny slips and the man looked them over. "So, Bill and his date, eh? You're a lot younger than I remembered."
Leaf was about to open her big, fat know-it-all mouth to correct the man's misunderstanding of their identities, but Blue nudged her roughly and said to the bouncer, "Yep, I get that a lot. Come along, dear, or we'll miss all the good food."
He took Leaf by the arm and hurried in before the bouncer could talk to them any longer. The bouncer waved them through before going back to his post.
"Huh, how come nerds get all the ladies?" the bouncer mused and folded his arms. Maybe if you stopped smelling like fish and abstained from using cheesy pick-up lines you would have more luck with the ladies, good sir.
Leaf gazed around and took in the sights around her. Now that they were actually on board, the music coming from above them was much louder, banging on their eardrums. From behind some of the doors were muffled laughter and moans, and the two tried not to think hard about what was happening in there. Some parts of the wooden floor and the walls around them were covered with drink stains and...
"Is that vomit?" Leaf said, gagging and covering her nose. Blue scrunched up his nose in distaste. So it would be that kind of party, Blue thought. He recalled how the older kids from Viridian would get crazy and try to vandalize his grandpa's house. Those were bad nights with Oak running out half-naked swinging his cane at the miscreants.
"Do you think there are some trainers behind these doors?" Leaf said, knocking on one of the doors.
"Who knows? Just don't accept any drinks from strangers and keep your valuables near you at all times…what the hell?!"
Blue's shock came from the door being opened by a frazzled-looking young man who seemed unable to stand still for a second.
Behind him were several other people crowded around a table, sniffing a white powder with straws into their noses.
"Hey, kids! You ready to partaaay with the grown-ups?" the man said, his shoulder twitching for a bit.
"Blue, why are these people snorting powdered sugar into their noses?" Leaf asked her companion. "Is this what "cool kids" do in their spare time? No wonder their grades are so poor if they inhale confectionary ingredients into their systems."
"…Leaf, that's not sugar, its cocaine. They're getting high off cocaine."
Leaf's eyes widened. "Isn't that illegal? Shouldn't the police be aware of this blatant drug abuse?"
The man laughed in a high-pitched tone, similar to a hyena who sniffed a container of helium, and said, "Hey, the cops are plenty aware of our party; I'm one of them! No one can stop me!"
The man then unleashed several spasms as a trail of blood leaked from his nose and he fell backwards. This act caused much delight in his coked-up friends, who began to laugh hysterically.
Blue just closed the door and the two began to walk off when Leaf said, "Well, if that repulsive display doesn't scare people away from drugs, then I don't know what will."
"You party hard, you die hard, as my sister always told me. Come on, surely not everyone on this ship is a druggie."
The two continued to meet strange and colorful characters while exploring the ship. They were challenged to a few battles from rich gentlemen and their families who would dish out a lot of money to the trainers.
While it was reassuring to have normal people on board, most of the young adults who were invited to the party were out of control, often very high or drunk. It was often easy to defeat them in battles, as the opponents would fall into unconsciousness or throw up violently onto their poor Pokemon who were too traumatized by gunk in their fur to battle.
Crazy partiers and families hiding out in their cabins weren't the only people they met. They had wandered down into the basement, where much of the crew were having a party of their own: they were swigging cheap alcohol and one of the sailors was playing a lively tune on an accordion as his mates sang bawdy songs and danced jigs.
"They seem to be having a good time," Leaf said, bobbing her head to the happy tune.
The music and jovial died down when the sailors caught sight of the kids, who they began to circle around.
"Well, lookie here, mateys. A bunch of the rich brats have come down to keep us company for a bit," one of them said with a sneer.
"You kids wanna have a go at a Pokemon battle? We're not going down easily, you know," another one said with a cigarette in his mouth.
Leaf set her hands on her hips and put on an indignant scowl. "I'm sorry if the upper-class have treated you poorly, but that is no reason to threaten two innocent people like common thugs. I'll have you know I've won two Gym Badges…and my friend here has, too."
Blue just rolled his eyes at her bragging as Leaf brought out Bloom and said as bravely as she could, "So, as the saying goes, come at us, bros!"
"Saur!" Bloom cried, getting into a battle position.
The sailors paused for a second before letting out uproarious laughter at the girl's bravado.
"You hear that, Huey? We got a spunky one here!"
"Hey, ginger, you wouldn't mind if we borrow your girlfriend for a while?"
Leaf's face turned red in anger and embarrassment, though Blue just made a flippant gesture with his hand.
"She's not my girlfriend, but I thought you sailors were only interested in strapping young cabin boys and getting real close swabbing each other's poop decks, if you get my drift."
Leaf's anger passed as she let out a fit of laughter at the insult. The sailors became indignant at the mere hint of questioning their sexuality, though a sailor who stood behind the two couldn't help but laugh at these kids' pluck.
"I like feisty kids like you!" he said before slapping both of their asses with great smacks.
This would prove to be a fatal mistake on his part as neither Leaf nor Blue took kindly to being harassed in such a manner.
The kids quickly turned around and landed punches right to the sailor's face. The surprise attack and the sheer force of the righteous punches left the sailor on the floor holding a bloody nose.
The rest of the sailors grabbed their Pokeballs as the kids turned to them with fire in their eyes, both of them only saying one sentence:
"Let's rock."
The battle had been swift thanks to Leaf's advantage over the sailor's Water-type Pokemon. The men had to admit defeat and pay their dues to the children.
As the men went away licking their wounds with booze and song, Blue and Leaf headed upstairs, finding nothing else down in the basement except men who got owned by a bunch of young teens.
"Well, this party's turning out to be a bust," Blue said. "No wonder Bill didn't want to come to this. Want to grab some food and split?"
"Sounds good to me."
Suddenly, an ear-piercing boom was heard, like a detonation of a bomb. Passengers threw themselves to the ground, while the druggies started freaking out, screaming how the "pigs would never put them down" or some other such rot.
Blue and Leaf quickly climbed up to the second floor and walked towards a window, where they saw there was no damage to the boat. However, they came to see the familiar sight of a smoke cloud rising from the town.
"So…it looks like Red's having a crazy party, too—"
Leaf then stomped her foot and said, "No, we cannot always assume it's him. That is unhealthy thinking which will only make us paranoid for no reason. It was probably a small earthquake; Kanto has plenty of them every now and then. Perfectly natural and reasonable."
"Sure, whatever," Blue said with a shrug. He'd let her play dumb if she wanted to. "Let's head out on the upper deck. I think I see a buffet up there."
With that, the two pushed thoughts of Red out of their minds and headed for some free food.
The deck was much more refined with the older generation keeping the younger ones in check while they weren't in their rooms. While there were some tipsy guests and the music was contemporary pop, at least no one was doing lines of coke or being outright lewd.
The best part about the party was definitely the food. It was almost too good for this crowd of charlatans, Leaf thought to herself as she gazed at the scrumptious plates and displays.
Leaf was on her third Pierogi and fourth cannoli when Blue said to her, "I heard that the captain of the ship is a Cut master. He's in his office right now preparing to set off. Wanna go meet him?"
Leaf shrugged before shoving both food items into her mouth, puffing out her cheeks like a cute hamster and swallowed her food in two bites.
Hold the goddamn phone here. What in the hell is a "Cut master?" Is that a title? A job description? What does he do all day, cut trees? How is he at all useful to society?
Wait. Pokemon economy. Never mind.
"Let's be off and see this so-called Cut master then," Leaf said as the two headed through the door and were directed towards the captain's office.
From inside they could hear belching and retching. They looked at each other in concern before throwing caution to the wind. Leaf knocked on the door.
"Wha—who's there?" a rough voice shouted from the other side.
"Um, sir, we're sorry to bother you, but we heard you were the Cut master?" Leaf inquired politely.
"Arr, come on in then," the voice said.
Both shrugged to each other and they walked into the small office. It was a modest-sized room with bookshelves and a brown desk with several charts and cartography tools laid out.
Sitting at the chair was a middle-aged man with gray hair, a hardened face and wearing a white captain uniform. Leaf took note that there were several bottles lying by the man's feet and the smell of whiskey was quite pungent.
The man nodded to the children as they walked in and said to them, "So, you wanna see my Cut technique, eh? Watch closely."
He grabbed an unopened bottle and held it tightly in his right hand. Then, with his left hand raised, he swiped it towards the bottle's neck and perfectly sliced it right off.
Leaf felt her jaw hit the floor. She could not believe what she had seen, as cliché as that sounds. She was expecting someone skilled with a blade, perhaps a knife or even garden hedges, but with one's own hand?
"How did you…? That can't be possible!" Leaf sputtered. Blue whistled and looked at the hacked-off bottle top.
The captain took a long, hearty swig from the bottle and wiped his sleeve across his mouth. "I used that technique to hack through the jungles of Alola and the Sevii Islands before they were colonized. Dear Moltres, how I wish for those days of adventure instead of dragging spoiled brats across the ocean. Tch, just let me go down in a blaze of glory already!"
"Hey, do you think you can teach us how to do that?" Blue asked.
The captain let out a raucous chuckle. "Harr, harr! You two landlubbers probably couldn't defeat a Magikarp with your bare hands. This skill took years to perfect; you can't just learn it. But I can give you the HM for Cut. You can teach a Pokemon how to cut down trees, bushes, maybe even steel poles."
He handed the kids two CDs with "Cut" written in faded print. "Now unless you're passengers aboard the ship, you two got to get back on land so I can set sail for Hoenn. This'll be my last trip, so I'm gonna make it count."
"You take care, sir," Leaf said, concerned by his heavy drinking and retching. Sure, he could slice things up with his hands and was an experienced sailor, but it was not the smartest decision to command a boat while intoxicated.
Blue gave a salute. "You tame those wild seas, old man. Smell you later."
As the two kids ambled out the door, the captain threw the bottle he was holding to the ground and started into another one, mumbling something about the good old days of sailing and adventure.
Old farts tend to ramble about their meaningless pasts. Try to get used to it.
"Fuck yeah!" a shirtless man holding a shot glass and several party beads around his neck shouted over the bellowing of the ship's horn.
Blue and Leaf, along with other party-only patrons, were waving their goodbyes to the people on deck and giving hearty cheers.
"We party hard until the day we die! Whoo!" the man shouted back, pumping his fists into the air and eliciting cheers from his companions.
Unknown to anyone on the ship or on land, this man had predicted his and the other passengers' deaths. In the span of thirteen days, the captain (with eyewitness reports claiming he was very drunk) drove the cruiser into a pod of Wailmer who did not appreciate the loud, dirty ship and its inhabitants. They would attack without mercy and the ship went down in ruins within hours.
Only a few survivors made it out in the life boats: many of the hard partiers would be eaten by Sharpedo after trying to ride them. The captain disappeared and would be presumed dead; the entire crew perished below the decks, drunk off cheap whiskey and singing "Waltzing Matilda."
Of course, our two heroes would have no knowledge of this and were just happy to be off that crazy ship. Besides, they had other pressing matters to attend to, the most pressing one being that there were emergency vehicles near the Gym.
"Please, please let it be earthquake damage…" Leaf begged.
Unfortunately for the girl, it was the one person she didn't want to see: Red. He was wearing thick gloves and a white face mask, clearing up rubble into trucks along with a weary Machop. The old man overseeing this clean-up looked quite cross while several people, some dressed in Pokemon cosplay, were either sobbing uncontrollably into their hands or glaring daggers at Red.
The young trainer did not look pleased as he cleaned up the mess, his Pokemon helping him out the best they could.
Leaf just slapped a palm onto her face and groaned. Blue, on the other hand, grinned cheekily and swaggered up to his neighbor. Red caught sight of him and glared at the spiky-haired youth.
"Geez, blowing up a town wasn't good enough for you, you also had to bomb a geek convention. How've you been, Red? I see you have three Badges to your collection. Congrats, man, I didn't think a dumbass like you could actually get past Brock."
"Shut up, Blue. You're just jealous because I'm better at Pokemon than you," Red snapped.
Leaf put a hand on her hip and scoffed. "You may be getting better, but I'm positive it's just your ridiculous amount of luck and your magnetism towards absurdity."
"…Stop using big words to sound smart, boobs," Red said.
The old man, who was the owner of the Pokemon Fan Club, then said to Red, "Enough of your chatter, old sport. As ordered by Lieutenant Surge and myself, you will not be allowed to leave this city until you help with the clean-up as payment."
"Come on, doesn't giving you all of my money count as enough payment?!" Red complained.
"Hmph, as if that penny change would help in damages. Your refusal to give up your bike has led you to community service. Be glad we don't have you arrested for reckless endangerment and destruction of property."
"Hey, about Surge, is his Gym still operational right now or did Red mess it all up?" Blue asked.
The old man shrugged and pointed to a moderate-sized hole in the back of the Gym. "There's some damage, but Surge said he's still running the Gym. He is an experienced war vet, so there's no reason why he would stop his battles because of some wall damage."
Blue looked at Leaf. "Ladies first?"
Leaf bit her lip and pondered. "Well, I usually wouldn't mind. Ground-type beats Electric, and my Sandshrew knows Magnitude, but we are kinda low-leveled and what happens if he goes down? I would have no back-up Pokemon who know Ground-type moves…"
"Oh, I have one more TM for "Dig," but you'll have to decide who gets it," the fan club president said, pulling a TM CD from his coat pocket.
Blue and Leaf looked at one another before whipping out their hands, pounding their fists into their palms and saying, "Fire, Water, Grass…Shoot!"
Solving a dilemma by playing a children's hand game; how old are you two, like five? Couldn't you have just talked it out like responsible young people?
Well, anyways, Leaf won the battle by throwing "Water" to Blue's "Fire."
"Yes! Thank you, sir," Leaf said proudly, accepting her prize. Even in games of "Fire, Water, Grass," she was still eager to rise above the challenge.
Blue simply shrugged. "Whatever. I bet you I can still beat the Gym without any advantages."
"Prove it then," Leaf said pompously as she sent out Cyan and taught her the new move. Cyan will be the perfect back-up in case things go south with Walker, due to Dig and her Poison Point Ability. I'll even let Blue go first to watch Surge's tricks and to see him fail, ohohohoho!
"Seriously, try to keep your laughter to yourself; you'll scare away potential boyfriends," Blue said.
Leaf gritted her teeth as Blue smirked. "How about a deal: if I win on my first try, you have to do me a favor. If I don't, you can have all my money."
"Deal!" Leaf said, taking Blue's hand and shaking it without a second thought. As if this idiot could beat a seasoned fighter and Gym Leader without any strategy or special moves.
As the two headed for the Gym, Red started to shout at them before he was swatted furiously by two nerd chicks who were yelling at him to get back to work.
At least we won't have to worry about that idiot for a while, Leaf thought as she headed into the hole following Blue.
"Not bad, kiddo! You have the makings of a good soldier!" Surge complimented as he recalled his fainted Raichu into the ball and approached the victorious Blue.
Leaf could only stare with an open mouth. He…had actually won? Without any strategy or special move? It was true he was a good trainer, but he had no Pokemon with a type-advantage over Electric-types and most of the Pokemon he used were rather under-leveled. He was able to evolve his Abra into a Kadabra during one of the Gym Trainer battles, which significantly helped him in the battle with Surge when he couldn't use his Wartortle or Pidgeotto. Even that pathetic little Rattata was now a Raticate that ripped apart Pikachu and most of Raichu before getting knocked out. She was seriously starting to second guess herself as Blue accepted the Badge and TM.
She then looked at Blue, her face somewhat red from humility. "Well, that…was a wonderful battle. You certainly have a good grasp on battling and luck seems to be on your side."
"Thanks. Now for my favor. Are you ready?"
Leaf sighed. "As ready as I'll ever be. What is it? A Pokemon trade or something? Maybe you want to humiliate me like Red did on the bridge back in Cerulean."
"Do you have a phone?"
"…What?"
"A cell phone. You can't be that lame that you wouldn't have one, right?"
Leaf rolled her eyes, but obeyed and dug around in her bag. She then pulled out a rectangular device and handed it to Blue. "Here's my PokeGear, the latest edition. My parents do work for Silph Co., so I at least have the latest tech. Not like I use it much anyways."
Blue tapped the numbers a bit before he grinned and gave the phone back to her. Leaf blinked as she saw his name and a number in her contacts, along with a "#1 Champ" emoji next to his name. "There, as friends we can keep in contact. Also, you got the number from Kanto's most eligible bachelor and future Champion. Lucky you. You shouldn't worry so much. If I can beat this guy, then you can as well. Good luck."
Leaf just pouted and felt her cheeks grow a bit hot. She placed her phone back in her bag and folded her arms. "Hmph, I was going to ask for your phone number soon anyways, good job wasting a favor. And thanks for the encouragement, but words mean nothing to an amazing trainer like me."
Blue chuckled before heading for the entrance and giving a hand wave. "Smell you later, Leafy!"
She just stuck out a tongue at his receding back before turning to Lt. Surge. "I suppose you and your trainers need to rest up your Pokemon before I challenge you?"
Surge nodded. "Affirmative, young lady. Dammit, I keep getting pounded by young punks today. Maybe I'm losing my edge. Anyways, you should stock up on some supplies and then head on back. We'll be ready to take your challenge."
Leaf nodded before she headed the exit. Surge stopped her and pointed to the hole. "You can take the shortcut if you want, miss."
"…No thank you. I'll use the door like a regular person." With that, she headed past a few garbage bins and out the doors.
Leaf made sure to buy extra Paralyze Heals and then headed back for the Gym. She even managed to make a rare trade with a girl giving away a brown duck holding a leek between its feathers.
She bid farewell to Wing the Spearow and accepted the new Pokemon, which the Pokedex identified as a Farfetch'd nicknamed Dux.
"What a classy nickname," Leaf mumbled to herself as she walked away from the trainer. Not like she could change it anyways. "Well, I won't be using this guy for much. Here, take an HM, Dux."
"Quack!" Dux said as he learned Cut. He swung his leek around before slicing the tops off a few bushes.
Leaf blinked. "Well, it looks like the captain isn't the only one with special cutting abilities. I'll try not to question how a vegetable can cut down trees." And with that she proceeded to box the duck Pokemon.
Going through the Gym was simple for Leaf. She said hello to Clyde at the front and managed to go through all three of the Gym Trainers, men who had worked with Surge in his military days. They all looked weary and a tad jumpy.
The puzzle of the Gym was slightly difficult: there were two bars of electric currents barring the way to Surge and the only way to unlock them, according to Clyde's hint, was to find two switches in numerous garbage bins. If you couldn't find a switch, then the puzzle would restart.
"Hmph, how that idiot Red ever solved this puzzle by himself will forever puzzle me. Heh, heh, get it?" she said to her Pokemon Walker, Cyan, Bloom, Lucky and Banana, who were walking by her side as her main Pokemon for the upcoming fight. "I said puzzle and we're…figuring out a…puzzle."
Bloom and Bana simply shook their heads at her trainer while Walker, who had evolved into a larger version of himself with brown spikes called Sandslash, just stared at his trainer and blinked, cocking his head to the side. He wasn't exactly the brightest mind on the team.
Cyan, always eager to please her master, just clapped her forepaws and smiled up at Leaf.
Lucky wasn't even paying attention as he spent his time boxing and weaving around the trash cans as if they were enemies to defeat. He would occasionally pause to snicker at Leaf's distress, but his focus was on becoming the best trashcan killer in the world.
Leaf just sighed and mumbled, "Never mind. I've already figured out the solution to this elementary problem."
After a few trial and error, Leaf realized that the second switch would somehow always be to the right of where she found the first switch. With that, she was able to shut down the gates and head on through to Surge's arena.
The man had been busy emptying what appeared to be large Pokeballs from a machine gun and placing them on a tray.
Leaf managed to hear him grumble, "I guess I shouldn't leave this lying around fully-loaded. Now I'll never hear the end of it from those Pokemon-cuddling freaks."
He then took notice of Leaf and grinned. "Well, looks like you came back after all. I didn't think a little girl like you would have the guts to face me."
"Hmph, big words from a man who got beaten by two young boys in the same day."
Surge felt a nerve twitch in his head, but he let out a short laugh in response. "Hah, ha. You have a sharp tongue, girl, but I bet you wouldn't last two minutes in basic training, let alone a battlefield."
"Well, good thing I don't have to worry about going to war. Now, why don't we get this battle started?" Leaf said impatiently, sending out Walker.
"Smartass. Just don't cry when I teach you some respect. Go, Voltorb!"
Surge sent out his first Pokemon, a Pokeball with angry eyes. That's it. That's all it was.
"Voltorb, the Ball Pokemon. A life-form whose identity is unknown. It is said to screech or suddenly self-destruct."
"Uhh, are you sure that thing is safe to use?" Leaf said warily, eyeing the Voltorb. She had a sneaking suspicion that the living Pokeball was responsible for the massive damage.
"Yeah, yeah, these little guys aren't so bad when it's only one of them," Surge said, waving his hand carelessly. "Now, Voltorb, use Sonicboom!"
"Skree!" the Voltorb managed to cry out despite its apparent lack of a mouth and shot out a stream of sound waves.
The wave hit Walker directly in the face and caused the Sandslash some amount of pain.
"Hang in there, Walker. Use Magnitude!" Leaf ordered.
Walker obeyed and was somehow able to generate enough force to create a magnitude 7 that knocked over all the trash cans and knocked the onlooking Gym Trainers down.
"Shit, good thing I made this Gym earthquake resilient! Damn Ground-types!"
The living ball meanwhile had closed its eyes, indicating that it had fainted, though its body began to tremble and glow.
"Oh crap! Walker, get out of there! Hurry!" Leaf said in a panic, trying to get her Pokeball out, but it was too late. And Walker ignored her order by staring at the pretty light before being hurtled into the back wall of the Gym by the ball blowing up in his face. Pieces of red and white shrapnel that scattered around the small area.
While it was a smaller explosion than what Leaf was expecting (it was certainly nothing compared to what happened in Cerulean City) and she was relieved to see Walker was knocked out, she was still disturbed that a Pokemon had just destroyed itself simply because it was knocked out by a move.
As Leaf returned the fainted Sandslash, Surge said, "And that young lady is what happens when you agitate a Voltorb and its evolution Electrode enough: Self-Destruct. Rest in peace, Voltorb #1,235, you will be missed."
"…"
Leaf had no words to say to the sheer callousness of Surge and she sent out her Ivysaur.
"Bloom, go out there and stall for a bit while I use a Revive on Walker," Leaf said.
"Go, Pikachu!" The yellow mouse Pokemon was sent out with an excitable squeak.
Leaf's eyes widened. "Aww, so cute! Where can I get one of those?"
Heh, chicks always dig Pikachu, Surge thought. It was too bad that his opponent was too young for him; maybe in five or six years…
"Bloom, Leech Seed!"
Surge was brought out of his dirty old man thoughts when his Pikachu became wrapped up in green vines. The yellow rodent tried to shake them off, but they only curled tighter around its ankles.
"Shit, a surprise attack!?" Surge yelled. "Pikachu, Shock Wave!"
"Chuuu!" Pikachu shot out shock waves at Bloom, who was able to take the hit well. Afterwards, Bloom was able to regain some of her health from the Pikachu.
"Sorry, but it looks like Electric doesn't affect Grass all that much. Bloom, keep tanking that Pikachu."
Bloom stayed out on the field, even getting paralyzed from a Thunder Wave, though her health would be replenished by the Leech Seeds. She landed a few Razor Leafs on Pikachu before the opponent went down from exhaustion.
"Good work, Bloom! Come on back," Leaf said, bringing her Pokemon back. "Let's end this, Walker!" The Sandslash was back out, feeling a bit exhausted, but not to the point where he couldn't fight back.
Surge bit his lip as he recalled his Pikachu and took out his last Pokeball. "Alright, Kahuna, let's teach this girl a lesson!"
"Rai, rai!" The Raichu said as she came out of the ball and folded his arms, staring down her opponent as she perched upon her tail. Leaf raised her eyebrows at the strange Pokemon and she gave it a once over while getting its data in her Dex. She was rather chunky for her short height and she was wearing a few dog tags around her neck along with a surf board charm. While she had a huggable appearance, her eyes were sparking with intense heat.
The picture for Raichu looks different in my Dex, but it reminds me of what my aunt told me about different variations in Alola. I'll ask Surge about it…if I make it through this. "Walker, use…"
"Kahuna, Thunder Wave."
"Chu." Kahuna's cheeks illuminated and a short burst of electricity fired into Walker's body. The Sandslash twitched periodically with small jolts sprang off of his spikes.
Leaf bit her lip, but refused to give up. She decided to skip a turn to heal the paralysis, while Surge ordered his Raichu to increase her evasiveness by using Double Team.
"Walker, use Magnitude!" Leaf ordered after Walker took a Quick Attack hit. The Sandslash nodded and burrowed into the ground.
"Kahuna, unless you want to be cleaning every toilet in Vermilion City with your tongue instead of eating pancakes, you will avoid that pile of turd's hit!" Surge shouted.
Kahuna gulped, trying to listen for the noise below her. She had cleaned toilets before with her tongue; she did not wish to repeat the experience.
Fortunately for the Raichu, she barely managed to dodge the incoming Sandslash. Walker just blinked and looked around, not registering that he did not hit his target.
"Perfect. Now use Psychic!"
"Raii!" The Raichu let out a loose of pink sonic waves, hitting Walker directly in the face. The Sandslash let out a screech of agony and dropped to his knees. He refused to get up from the spot as the Raichu kept up the mind assault.
Leaf stamped her foot in frustration, and took up another turn to call back Walker and sent out Cyan the Nidorina. Cyan chirped in eagerness at being in a real battle.
"Cyan, I want you to sit there and take an attack. Just trust me on this," Leaf said, biting her nail and praying it would work.
Surge just scoffed. "Hah, sending out a sacrificial lamb, I see? That ugly flop-eared rat doesn't deserve to be electrified or even psychic-fied. Kahuna, use Quick Attack on that abomination and you'll be surfing the waves again in no time!"
"Rai!" Kahuna charged forward and slammed straight into Cyan, who squeaked in pain, but took the hit pretty well. She had curled into a ball with the spikes facing her attacker and they went directly into her pudgy belly.
"Raiii!" Kahuna cried in pain as some purple fluid speed from her puncture wounds. The rodent suddenly felt sick throughout her body.
"Poisoning!?" Surge shouted. "Kahuna, you're part Psychic-type! Shake it off, grunt!"
There was a wicked glimmer in Leaf's eye as she lifted a hand to her mouth and proceeded to laugh haughtily. "Ohohohoho! You expected some weak little Pokemon in your arrogance, but what you got was a Nidorina with the Poison Point Ability! Tremble in despair!"
Surge cursed, mostly due to the stinging of his ears after the girl's atrocious laughter, but also because of his mistake. He should have paid more attention to Koga when the old ninja tried to lecture him about the power of Poison-types. He never liked those type of sneaky tactics.
After Kahuna was poisoned, it was all downhill for Surge from there. He tried to regain the upper-hand in battle by having Kahuna use Quick Attack, but the Raichu grew weaker and weaker until she couldn't remain on her tail. Meanwhile, the poisonous vermin kept digging under ground to avoid the weak hits, and while Kahuna did her best to avoid Cyan when she dug up, she couldn't keep avoiding her for long
"Cyan, you're doing great! Finish that rodent off with another Dig!" Leaf said. Cyan let out a cry of joy before submerging underground and headbutting the weakened Raichu with a dirty Dig attack.
Leaf couldn't help but jump up and down in her excitement as the Raichu flopped to the ground in defeat. "I did it! Oh, thank goodness…I mean, there was never any doubt. Good job, Cyan."
Walker then proceeded to bob and weave around Leaf's legs in excitement. All it wanted to do was please her trainer and she felt like she did. Cyan had peaked in her happiness.
Surge sighed and recalled the fainted Kahuna. "Well, fuck. Can't believe I keep losing to amateurs today. No matter, you gave me a good fight, young lady, and I'll give you a reward. Here you are, the Thunder Badge."
Leaf accepted a small sun-shaped badge and she held it up to the light. It glimmered prettily in the light.
"What does it do?"
"It slightly boosts the Speed stat and lets you use Fly outside of battle. Also, take this TM: it contains my favorite move, Shock Wave."
"You didn't really use that move all that much in this fight. Maybe it was because of my awesome Ground-type. Ohhhh, you got served!" Leaf said and made finger-guns at the former lieutenant.
"…Just get out of my Gym so I can drink and jack off in peace."
Leaf left out the back hole of the Gym, not really caring about how unorthodox it was to leave out of a large, blown-out hole in a building. She was too busy being full, I mean proud, of herself for her victory.
She had pinned her new trophy to her bag and was now stretching her arms. It looked like she would continue her journey to catch them all, and rub it in her doubters' and bullies' faces.
She headed out onto Route 11 and hunted around the plains for a while. The only new Pokemon she found there was a weird yellow and black creature with a drooping snout named Drowzee. She shuddered a little at its Pokedex entry: "Drowzee, the Hypnosis Pokemon. It remembers every dream it eats. It rarely eats the dreams of adults because children's are much tastier."
"What a creepy creature. Someone better call Chris Hanson to have a long talk with this Pokemon," Leaf said with a light scoff as she stored the new Pokemon away.
Her attention was drawn to a small cave which was labeled on a worm-eaten sign "Diglett's Cave: Pewter City through here."
A shortcut to Pewter, huh? Well, I have no reason to go back, but I'll catch a Diglett while I'm in there, Leaf thought as she entered the earthy cave.
She managed to capture a Diglett, which were dopey little things with round noses and blank eyes before ascending back up to the surface. Not much to do in a cave like that.
She was just about to head further east when she heard a familiar shouting further down the way. It was pretty astounding how she could even hear the angry yelling from her position, as it was far down at the end of the route and she was closer to Vermilion City.
But she heard the frustrated cries nonetheless. And it was the voice of Red.
She stood there and internally debated whether she should ease on down the road. It went something like this:
I do NOT want to run into him again! It will only bring trouble to me.
But there's nowhere else to go! What do we have to lose by going that way?
EVERYTHING. Our health, our sanity, our dignity. No. Way.
But…but…
"Gah! What do I do? I just want to go east!" Leaf shouted. She stopped when she heard a throaty chuckle.
She turned around to see an old beggar man wearing a blue robe sitting on the ground with a set of dice on the ground.
"Going that way don't even matter, missy," he said, taking the dice into his hand and shaking them. He let them roll and cursed when he got snake eyes. "Big ass Pokemon came down from the mountains and it's taking its sweet old time sleeping there, blocking the road to Lavender Town. Probably why there's mad shouts comin' down there."
"Okay, so where should I go to get to Lavender Town?" Leaf asked.
The old man pulled out a scrap of paper and a small pencil from his robe, and wrote down some directions on it. "Just head on back up to Cerulean, or at least what's left of it from what I hear, and go straight east from there—you'll need a Pokemon who can learn Cut to swipe down some nasty foliage out of the way. Then you'll pass the Power Plant and head through the Rock Tunnel. You'll reach Lavender Town in no time."
He gave the paper to the young girl and added, "Though I hear shady rumors about that town: creepy, unsettling things. You be careful, missy."
"Thank you, sir," she said and reached into her bag to give him some spare change. She then made her way up to Cerulean City, thankful she would avoid Red but dreading going through his chaos again.
Leaf's Team
Bloom – Level 23
Leaf's starting Pokemon. Helpful, friendly and down-to-earth. Now has a flower on her back.
Ivysaur, Female
-Ingrain (Oak/Egg Move)
-Razor Leaf
-Leech Seed
-Sweet Scent (used to attract wild Pokemon)
Ability: Overgrow
Feather – Level 21
One of Leaf's first catches. Agreeable, but no distinct personality. Now a bigger birb.
Pidgeotto, Female
-Whirlwind
-Sand-Attack
-Gust
-Quick Attack
Ability: Keen Eye
Banana – Level 21
Beats her chest a lot, ill-tempered, and enjoys fighting, like a typical Mankey.
Mankey, Female
-Swagger
-Seismic Toss
-Low Kick
-Karate Chop
Ability: Vital Spirit
Cyan – Level 23
A cinnamon roll who just wants pets and attention. Notice me, Trainer-sempai.
Nidorina
-Dig
-Double Kick
-Poison Sting
-Bite
Ability: Poison Point
Walker – Level 23
Not the brightest bulb in the socket. Has no idea where he is. Now a big spiky idiot.
Sandslash, Male
-Crush Claw
-Magnitude
-Sand-Attack
-Rollout
Ability: Sand Veil
Lucky – Level 18
A gift (and totally NOT a bribe) from Bill. Kind of a weirdo, but hides it underneath the cute fluff.
Eevee, Male
-Covet
-Quick Attack
-Helping Hand
-Swift
Ability: Adaptability
Boxed Pokemon
Hemlock – Nidoran - Level 7
Papilia – Butterfree – Level 15
Apis – Beedrill – Level 15
Munchie – Rattata – Level 8
Aria – Jigglypuff - Level 15
Hissy – Ekans – Level 8
Screech – Zubat – Level 9
Granite – Geodude – Level8
Fungi – Paras – Level 5
Mystique – Abra – Level11
Daisy – Bellsprout – Level 14
Herb – Oddish – Level 13
Buggy – Venonat – Level 13
Felix – Meowth – Level 12
Pixie – Clefairy – Level 15
Dux – Farfetch'd – Level 10 (Trade)
Houdini – Drowzee – Level 13
Doug – Diglett – Level 20
Blue's Team
Satoshi – Wartortle – Level22
Cloud – Pidgeotto – Level 21
Fang – Raticate – Level20
Guru – Kadabra – Level 18
Next time on another riveting chapter of "Pokemon Misadventures:" The electrifying battle between Red and Lt. Surge! How did Red fuck up the Moemon Fan Club? And what's that Pokemon sleeping doing sleeping on Route 12? Find out next time!