A/N: Short but important chapter. Enjoy!
Hymn: Kingdom Come by: the Civil Wars
~~Hymns of a Lost Soul~~
Truth
` I stared at the painted swirls curled about the bottom of my teapot while I waited for my tea to steep. This was one of very few occasions I had been able to use the ornate teapot Sesshomaru had gifted me without fear of InuYasha seeing. Foreign impatience pushed my body forward to check my tea. As I had never had this tea before, I was unsure what particular shade of brown I was waiting for the water to turn, signaling that it was ready. Figuring, though, that it had been long enough, I poured the steaming liquid into a cup and wrapped my hands, still slightly chilled from my earlier bath, around it. I brought the cup first to my chin to breathe in the warm, moist scent. Strangely, though I doubted any of the herbs or flowers used in the tea were specifically for relaxation, the scent soothed me. It smelled…warm and happy. Safe and calm. I shook my head, almost laughing at thinking a tea could smell "happy", and sipped. The simple medley of tastes mirrored the teas scent well. I smiled.
` "Strange that you should choose that tea this night." I gasped. My cup dropped to the floor moments before a strong hand reached from behind me to cover my mouth.
` I sat across a fire, watching shadows and light dance across his face. I had almost put music to their waltz before either of us said anything. His eyes bore into mine when he finally spoke.
` "He is ashamed. He blames himself for the great loss our side suffered on our way to victory. He endeavors to regain his lost honor by fighting anything he can find after he leaves his post each evening. His longer absences take him far away to stronger and ever more dangerous prey. It is a game he plays to make himself feel strong. A game he can never truly win. And when he finally fights himself into exhaustion he goes to her." Still too shocked by the situation, I let him continue. "I find it strange that though her grave was unmarked, he can still find her. But find her, he does and he begs her forgiveness. It seems he blames you in a way similar to the way he blames himself but you are his only connection to what he had. His only connection to them. To her. I watch his struggle as he fights with whether to hold on to his only remaining remnant of her or to hate the you who reminds him of her final death, his failures. He is in constant conflict with himself and he is ever more quickly losing the battle for his sanity. I fear he may one day succumb to the darkness that has taken seed in his heart, his hatred of you. I have been following him, watching him. But hiding in the shadows whenever I can find time to be away from my lands presents too many opportunities for tragedy. He has already shown how easily he can slip," Sesshomaru was instantly next to me; his long tapered claw caressed the healing gashes on my cheek, "I cannot stand idly by, waiting for him to fall." I could not seem to break my stupor and was only able to mumble a few barely coherent syllables,
` "I don't understand. Why-"
` "You deserve to know before you make your choice."
` "Choice?" I shook my head, "what's going on? And why-" The look in his eyes stopped me. They were soft. There was no malice. No hatred. No anger. No pride. His eyes were filled with emotions I thought him truly incapable of. Pain, shame, and humility.
` "He does not deserve you."
A/N: I know many of you thought he was going to see Kikyo (even though I guess if you want to be technical, he was). I purposely didn't say whether she survived the battle but now you know that she did not. Also, sorry about the random punctuation marks. For some reason, my formatting gets all kinds of thrown off when I move my document from Word to the site unless I fill the space with something. This is just a little information that didn't quite fit in the previous chapter or the next chapter. I am, as you read this, working on the next chapter and will hopefully have it posted no more than an hour after this one : ) I love reviews by the way…