What Home Looks Like

Chapter Ten: Friends and Enemies

"Ah, man! This hurts like a bitch!"

"That's what happens when you have a bin thrown at you." Loki commented dryly from the passenger seat of the Impala.

"Yeah, 'cause this is the time for sarcasm." Dean rolled his eyes, clutching his bleeding leg and putting the car into drive. "That werewolf could have killed me."

"It could have bitten you." Loki supplied immediately, brushing his raven hair from his face as he reached into the backseat for the first aid kit he'd stashed on the floor of the car. "You should consider yourself lucky all it did was knock a metal skip into your legs."

"See that should have been sarcasm. That's something human we have to work on." Dean muttered, turning the wheel, and speeding dangerously into a side street.

"I don't need to work on anything," Loki said lightly. "We have sarcasm on Asgard. You're just tetchy because your leg hurts. Or your pride is injured more. Pull over."

Dean grumbled and pulled over, the side street was dimly lit and quiet, which was mildly disconcerting when there was a werewolf somewhere behind you.

"Pull your jeans up." Loki said, unbuckling his seat belt and turning to Dean in his seat.

"Please, Loki, now is not the time or the place for flirting." Dean grinned, finding humour in dire situations as he always did, hiking his leg onto the seat, wincing as he did so, and inching his jean leg up to reveal a torn gash on his shin.

Loki didn't even blink. "This is nothing. I've seen far worse on the battlefield." He made quick work of dabbing the cut with antiseptic before wrapping a bandage his leg, securing it with tape.

"Thanks." Dean said quietly, pulling his jean leg back down and killing the engine.

"It's no problem." Loki said, throwing the first aid kit to the back seat and gathering his hair up, tying it quickly off of his face. "Do you have any silver in the trunk?"

Dean was staring at him.

"What?" Loki asked, hands immediately flying back to his scruffy pony tail. "Is it bad?"

"No, it's not that." Dean said, and Loki let his raven hair fall over his shoulder. "It's just that, when you hunt, when you fight, you're like a totally different person."

"It's the only way to survive the battlefield." Loki said, smiling at the compliment nonetheless.

"I just thought becoming a hunter would be difficult for you but…you're amazing."

Loki's cheeks went red. "Shut up." He muttered, but there was pleasure in his voice.

The pair were brought out of their unrealised flirting by a heavy grunt from the distance and their eyes met.

"Silver in the trunk." Dean said and then they both bolted from the car. "Or if you can't get close enough, just blow its head off." Dean admitted, popping the trunk and handing Loki a small silver knife that the trickster tucked into the waistband of his dark jeans. "I mean, decapitation kills most…"

"I'll get close enough." Loki assured him, something close to enjoyment on his face. They both turned when they heard a growl and the werewolf was on all fours at the other end of the road, staring at them with bottomless black eyes, fur covering its hulking body, its baying breath causing swirls of mist to erupt in the night air.

"It's beautiful." Loki said without a hint of fear in his voice.

Dean briefly turned from the horrific sight in front of him and fixed Loki with a bizarre stare. "You're such a weird guy." Was all he said.

Loki laughed and suddenly he was gone, quick as lightening he'd taken off down the street. Dean watched in shock for a split second before he joined him, a few paces behind, pulling his colt from his jacket and holding it aloft.

The werewolf lunged for Loki and Dean watched as the frost giant ducked, slashing the silver knife out and taking out the tendon in the werewolf's front paw in one swoop. The wolf screeched in pain and lunged again, falling awkwardly on its injured paw and Loki sent an elbow into its throat, paralysing it for a mere second before the knife was plunged into its neck.

Dean took full advantage of the shock and mental deterioration of the wolf. Loki took a few large strides back, almost immediately, as if completely aware of what Dean was going to do before he'd even decided to do it.

Dean fired off three shots in complete succession, one hit the wolf in the back, one in the throat and one in the side of its skull, caving it in.

The wolf paused, howled, whimpered, and then fell, its huge mass crashing to the ground and causing the street lights to rattle and the cars to wobble. The two hunters, however, remained motionless.

They stood silent and still for a long time until Loki spoke.

"There was a person in there." He said.

"There's a person in every monster." Dean admitted, tempted to put a comforting hand on his back but deciding against it. "We do what we have to do."

Loki nodded.

…

After burning the body of the wolf the pair again sat in the Impala and Dean drove them back to the bunker. They talked naturally of nothing important, the weather, the movie they'd watched last night…but it wasn't small talk, it was just innocent conversation. These were the moments Dean liked best, when he could get lost in time with Loki, forget everything else that was troubling him, everything else would fall away and it would be just the two of them, like they were all that mattered.

Sam had ordered food in, enough for three, and Dean gave him a grateful hug when they re-entered the bunker.

"Thank God, I'm starving." He said, kicking off his boots and collapsing at the conference table and pulling a burger towards him.

"He's just feeling sorry for himself." Loki told Sam. "He endured the smallest of minor injuries and…"

"Hey!" Dean said through a mouth full of food as Sam laughed in earnest.

"So how did the hunt go?" Sam asked eventually as Loki sat down and began eating with the same level of enthusiasm as Dean, although with the rather preferable choice to eat with his mouth closed.

"Fine." Loki said. "We tracked the werewolf all night, it treated your brother as a chew toy…"

"Loki thought it was cute."

"I didn't say cute, I said…"

Sam rolled his eyes and mentally tuned out. Pretending not to notice that Loki and Dean spent their lives dancing around each other, and wading through the treacle of sexual tension between them, was becoming second nature to him now. But he couldn't help feeling ever so slightly left out.

"I could have helped you out on the hunt." He said quickly, slicing through their playful bickering with a knife.

Dean sobered immediately. "Sammy, there's nothing I'd like better than for you to be back on the job, I miss you, man. But you've been down since the trials, okay, no one's taken that big of a hit before. You need to heal."

"I have been healing!" Sam whined like a petulant child. Loki hid his grin behind his hand. "Come on, dude, I've been holed up and healing just like you said, for ages now, I'm fine."

Dean looked at Sam's earnest, almost pleading face for a moment before he chuckled.

"Yeah, I know, man. It's awesome."

…

Dean couldn't help accidentally ruminating on what Sam had said over the next few days. He began to subtly observe Sam's movements. The way he walked, the way he talked, hell, even the way he made coffee, and Dean could barely see a glimpse of the broken mess he'd been in the weeks after the trials.

He genuinely seemed healthier, brighter…like he had healed.

Dean ran into Loki in the lower levels of the bunker, he was on his back, sleeves rolled up, pulling apart the pieces of an old Camaro Dean had stashed down here. Loki had been somewhat fascinated with cars ever since he'd come to Earth and had asked Dean if he could examine the mechanics of the machine, saying that magic was also like a machine, and he could learn how everything worked just from a closer look.

Dean was a little perplexed that Loki cared more for the internal mechanisms of a car than actually learning how to drive, but it was a cert that Loki was a little odd and Dean wouldn't have him any other way. And that's how he found him, shirt sleeves hiked up, oil staining his alabaster hands, furrowed look on his face. Loki looked so incomprehensibly different from the warrior Dean had first met it was like he hadn't existed at all. Dean even found himself missing him from time to time.

"Hey." He said upon entering the room. "How you getting on?"

Loki sat up upon noticing him, pushing himself up from the ground into a standing position and leaving oil handprints on the floor, the naturally escaping strands of his tied back hair fell in front of his face and he was forced to push them aside with his wrist lest he stain the rest of his skin.

"Yes, fine. Messy."

"The joy of mechanics." Dean said, patting his thighs uncomfortably. "Um, listen…I was looking for you, actually."

Loki looked expectantly back at him.

"Do you think Sam is okay?" He blurted out.

"What do you mean?"

"I…well…you're like, way more observant than me and I was just wondering if you thought he seemed…better…from when he was sick."

Loki remembered something strange was going on with Sam, he had briefly wondered that he might have been an internal shapechanger but Dean made it quite clear that whatever was wrong with him was an illness, although he had said little else. Loki had never pressed the subject, it was private between brothers, but he had been worried about Sam, and he would be lying if he said he hadn't seen an improvement in the youngest Winchester over the last couple of weeks.

"I think he's well, yes." Loki assured the eldest Winchester. "I wouldn't worry about him now. Whatever ailed him before seems to have passed."

"Yeah…" Dean tailed, looking more worried than he should have at such good news.

"Is everything okay?" Loki asked, brow furrowed.

Dean looked straight at him, eyes wide as if snapping out of a trance and nodded quickly. "Yeah, sure, of course, thanks, I…there's something I need to do."

"Okay." Loki said lightly, as if going out of his way to agree with Dean. "I'll see you later?"

"Yeah, for sure. Have fun."

With that, he turned and bolted back up the stairs, leaving a bemused Loki behind him. Loki shook his head as he turned back to the half-dismantled car and knelt back down again. He wasn't worried about Dean, he had no reason to be, on top of being strong and courageous and endearing…Dean was just really fucking odd. Loki had never questioned it before.

Besides, he figured if anything was bothering Dean, he'd tell him eventually, he always did.

Upstairs, Dean stole into the nearest bathroom, making sure he was alone, and pulled his phone from his pocket. As it rang on, he felt a bit bizarre, dirty even, about calling someone from inside a bathroom, still he supposed it was a perk that he wasn't actually sat on the toilet. He had to draw the line there.

"Squirrel, this better be good. I'm very busy and very mad that your frost giant tried to kill me."

"Will you let that go?" Dean asked irritably, voice low.

Dean could hear Crowley's frown in his pause. "Why are you whispering?"

"Because…I need your help."

"Excellent. And what do I get out of it?"

"Oh, I don't know, Odin doesn't find out where you are."

There was another pause.

"All right, Winchester. I'll help you, under the strict understanding that you give me your word that that is the last time you hold that over my head."

"Deal." Said Dean quickly.

"I don't believe you."

"Yeah, well, I'm desperate. You can trust me, Crowley, I'm not a demon. No more Odin threats, I give you my word."

Crowley sighed. "What do you need?"

"I need you to meet me." Dean said. "And bring your Angel blade. We're smoking Ezekiel out."

…

Dean still didn't quite know why he thought Ezekiel wouldn't go kindly, but for some reason he just felt better knowing he had back up. Or course, Crowley wasn't exactly one to be trusted but at least he already knew what was going on with Sam and Ezekiel, and Dean wanted to keep it that way. No one else knew, Sam was never going to know…and neither was Loki.

Dean knew that if they ever found out, he'd lose the pair of them. Loki seemed to understand doing bad things for good reasons better than anyone Dean had ever known, but to betray a brother…Dean just didn't think Loki could forgive that.

Hence why he was so closed off from him when they spoke that night.

"Listen, Loki…I don't suppose you mind being in the bunker by yourself tonight?" Dean asked, interrupting the trickster as he was flicking through TV channels. Loki still didn't necessarily understand television, mainly for the bizarrely broad stroke of it, like there was one show about a gang of forensic scientists who solved grisly murders and there was one about a talking sponge who lived in a piece of fruit…Loki quietly decided that humans were insane, but he quite enjoyed the news, and that was what he looked up from when Dean spoke to him.

Again, the hunter had that pre-occupied look on his face from that morning and Loki did his best to hide his frown.

"Sure. Is everything okay?"

"Yeah, everything's fine, I just thought, I listened to what you said about Sam and everything and I thought I would surprise him, take him out on a hunt."

Loki's face broke out into a smile. "That's brilliant. He'll love that. I'm glad you're doing this."

"So am I." Dean admitted honestly.

"If you get into trouble, you know how to reach me."

Dean smiled despite himself. "Yes, mom." He said.

Loki rolled his eyes and turned his attention back to the television. "See you later. Have fun."

As Dean walked out of the room, he had a random urge to shout back 'love you' as one would casually do to a family member or a spouse but he checked himself immediately, having no idea where that had come from. He supposed he just felt a bit weird doing something this major alone, ever since they'd been joined by their new uncouth family member, Dean had just gotten used to doing things with Loki by his side, and he felt rather uncomfortable without him there.

He shook his head to himself and internally called himself an idiot.

"Yeah, bye." He called back innocently.

…

"Dude, I am so excited." Sam said, head practically out of the window of the Impala like a puppy.

"It's just a hunt, man." Dean muttered.

"All right, grumpy pants." Sam said. "It feels like an ice age since you let me out on a hunt, I'm so happy you're letting me do this."

"Yeah, Loki said that." Dean said.

"Good, you can't wriggle out of this one, we all agree I'm 100% healed, me and your boyfriend."

"My WHAT?" Dean said, louder than he had intended.

Sam shook his head. "Yeah, you're right, two miracles in one night is pushing it."

"Shut up, man."

"So where are we going?"

"It's about 50 miles east…" Dean said. "Irregular demon activity, I've called Crowley."

Sam raised an eyebrow. "How do you get Crowley to do anything for you?"

Dean grinned then. "Odin's got dirt on him."

"For what?"

"No idea." Dean answered. "Must be bad though, just mention Odin's name and he jumps."

Sam frowned. "But…how are we supposed to get hold of Odin? Loki isn't talking to them anymore."

"Yeah, well, Crowley doesn't need to know that. Besides, Loki can get in touch with Asgard or any of the other nine realms whenever he wants to."

"Does he want to?"

"What do you mean?"

"Has he said anything about his Mom? Or his brother?"

Dean shook his head. "Not a word, actually."

"Ah, he'll be all right. I feel like we're doing a good deed or something, taking in a stray."

"You noticed we do that a lot?"

Sam laughed at that, and the rest of the drive passed in relative good humour, Dean almost forgot about what they were about to do, until he pulled into the motel car park and saw Crowley waiting outside the lobby, crouched down and apparently fighting with a vending machine.

"What the hell is he doing?" Sam asked, cocking his head to the side.

"No idea." Dean admitted as the pair of them got out of the car. "Crowley! What's up?"

"When I pay for chocolate, I expect to get it." Crowley admitted in his crisp British accent, getting to his feet and patting down his black coat. "I'm the King of Hell and candy should obey me."

Dean decided to bypass that comment and sent a look in the demon's direction.

"Anyway…" Crowley continued. "I've tied the demons up, they're in the room. I need you to interrogate them and find out what they know."

"Why us?" Sam asked, frowning. "But Dean said…this doesn't add up."

"Sam…" Dean tried.

"Oh well, I tried." Crowley said, producing an Angel blade from his sleeve, it glinted under the flickering of the breaking L.E.D motel sign.

"Why have you got…?" But Sam couldn't even finish his sentence before his eyes flashed blue and his entire expression hardened. "Dean, what are you doing?" Ezekiel asked angrily.

"Really, Crowley? In the parking lot?" Dean muttered.

"You wanted this done quickly." Crowley bickered back.

"Do what?" Ezekiel asked and Dean turned back to him, he took a deep breath.

"Look, Zeke, I'm not trying to threaten you, I…look, the deal was that you stayed in Sam until he healed."

"And until I was healed, Dean. The deal was that I needed a vessel. If you want me to leave Sam, you need to find someone else capable of sustaining me."

Dean shook his head. "I can't do that."

"I've helped you, Dean. And this is how you repay me?"

"Zeke, I'm sorry. There has to be another way to do this…"

Crowley rolled his eyes. "Okay, I'm bored with this now." He brandished the Angel blade in Zeke's face. "Get out of the moose now or I'll use this."

Ezekiel squinted and fixed his gaze on the demon. "You think I'm going to fall for that? You'd never do that, it would kill Sam."

Crowley chuckled to himself as he looked down at his Angel blade, he twiddled it in the air with practised ease like a band member with a baton, until he was clasping the tip in his palm and lashed out, the heavy handle hitting Dean on the side of the skull with a sickening crack. Dean couldn't even register what had happened until he'd crumpled, unconscious, on the parking lot floor.

Ezekiel blinked once.

"You think I give a damn about what this irritating Winchester wants?" Crowley said. "I just care about there being one less Angel to deal with. 'Zeke'."

Crowley fixed him with such a stare that the Angel thought just for a moment that this demon might know the truth about him, which was scarier than any Angel blade being pointed at him.

Crowley lunged with the blade, more for show than for anything else, and Ezekiel flinched and put his hand up.

"Stop!" He said, grimacing. "This isn't over."

There was a bright light, blinding Crowley, before it dissipated again and the darkness was equally as distressing to his eyes.

The scared eyes of Sam Winchester found Crowley's.

"What…?" He tried before he fell unconscious to floor beside his brother.

Crowley looked down at both of them, completely unmoving, and sighed.

He looked to the heavens. "What did I do to deserve this?" He frowned. "Oh, right."

…

The first sensation Dean got when he came to was a feeling of motion, and the immediate second was a searing pain in his head.

"Ah!" He groaned, hand flying to his head. When he retracted his hand, there was red staining his digits.

He suddenly remembered what happened and fear filled him.

"Sam…!"

"Calm down, he's fine." Came a bored voice next to him, Dean turned his head sharply – instantly regretting it when a flash of pain exploded in his head – and saw Crowley sat in the driver's seat, the driver's seat of his Impala, and by the looks of things, they were cruising down the road at 60 mph. "He's in the back seat."

Dean turned his head, a bit slower this time, and saw Sam slumped across the back seat, looking rather peaceful.

"The Angel is gone." Crowley informed him. "He scarpered as soon as he saw the blade."

Dean ruminated on that for a few moments before he put two and two together and he sighed.

"So, if Zeke didn't leave, would you have stabbed Sam?"

Crowley smirked. "What, an incur Squirrel's wrath? I'll let you figure that one out. I did what you wanted me to do."

"I don't know why I always trust you." Dean muttered darkly, more to himself than to Crowley.

"Ding, ding, because you don't have any other choice." Crowley chipped in unhelpfully. "And besides, you're the last person allowed to give me shtick on being trustworthy after what you've done to Sam. Don't worry, he's out cold, he can't hear me."

Dean fell silent and closed his eyes. "Just pull over. I want to get Sam home."

"Certainly." Crowley said, thumbing the turn signal. "You're on a strict schedule. Secrets to keep and Frost Giant's to please, your life has become ever so complicated."

…

With the frankly gargantuan dead weight of his sasquatch brother on his shoulders, Dean didn't even bother to try and shimmy the door to the Bunker open so instead he used the hand that wasn't supporting Sam's unconscious arm around his shoulder to bang on the door.

Loki appeared a few moments later, looking tired, wearing a baggy shirt over boxers, hair messy, but his expression cleared the minute he saw them. Namely, Sam unconscious and Dean barely conscious with blood crusted on the side of his head.

"Oh, my word. What happened?"

"Help me get him in, would you?" Dean asked, and Loki was at his side in a second. The God's superior strength took nearly all of Sam's body weight from Dean and the eldest Winchester almost collapsed from the sudden lack of weight.

Together, the pair manhandled Sam to his bedroom, Dean took over and laid his younger brother down, quickly pulling his shoes off and laying his quilt over him, he glanced at Sam's face. Despite the fact that Sam was unconscious, he didn't seem particularly injured, he had colour in his face, he almost looked – dare Dean say it – healthy.

"Dean." Dean turned, seeing Loki still stood in Sam's doorway, leant against the frame. He was a glorious sight, black boxers clashing with alabaster skin, baggy shirt hanging off his lithe frame…he looked like a truck stop hook up. Dean felt guilty simultaneously for being aroused while his brother lay unconscious next to him and by degrading his friend in such a way, but Loki soon broke his reverie with the look of intense worry that happened across his face.

And then Loki did something that Dean…that Dean loved him for. He didn't ask what happened.

He didn't even go there, he just beckoned Dean towards him and said softly: 'Come with me, I'll get something for your head."

Dean was tempted to brush it off, to stay by Sam's side until he was awake and insist that everything was okay but…Loki respecting his privacy like that, Loki somehow understanding exactly what was happening, and exactly what Dean needed even when Dean himself didn't know, he felt compelled to honour any wish Loki made to him.

The Winchester followed the Asgardian out of the room, shutting Sam's door quietly behind him, and soon enough Dean found himself sat on the edge of the conference table with Loki perched on one of the chairs, staring up at him and gently dabbing the bleeding cut on his head.

"You'll probably need some butterfly stitches." Loki told him. "I can do that here. Take these painkillers."

Dean didn't argue, he just took them, allowing Loki to carefully apply stitches to the sore area, not bothering to ask how he knew how to do it.

"You know," Loki began, smiling shallowing as his mind was cast back to their recent werewolf hunt, "I spend half my life putting you back together."

Again, Dean said nothing. He was being quiet, uncommonly quiet. Loki's smile fell.

"Is everything okay?" He asked, but Dean was too preoccupied with lying to him, with lying to Sam, wondering where the hell Zeke had gone and how it would take nothing for the Angel to return in a new vessel and tell Sam everything.

"Dean."

Dean blinked back to the present again and became aware of the ice blue eyes staring worriedly up at him.

"Sorry." He said. "I…it's right to do bad things for good reasons, right?"

Loki's mind was immediately brought back to the moment he'd slaughtered Laufey, all for Odin's approval and to protect Asgard, before he shook the memory, and all thoughts of Asgard, off and simply nodded at Dean.

"Of course, it is. It keeps the realms constant. If there weren't people like us, your Earth would fall off its axis."

"Yeah." Dean replied emotionlessly.

"So, what's brought this on, then?"

And in that moment, Dean Winchester gave up. It was the fact that Loki didn't want to know, that was why Dean wanted to tell him. He wanted to tell him everything. He wanted to have one pair of eyes that weren't going to judge him for what he had done.

"Loki, when Sam was sick, I let…"

"Dean, Sam is fine." Loki interrupted immediately, cutting the Winchester off. "You make sure of that."

Dean shook his head. "No, you don't understand. I did a bad thing, when I thought Sam was dying, I made a bad decision and, I know what I'm about to tell you will make you think I'm a bad person but…"

"You're not a bad person, Dean. You're a hero."

Dean stalled.

"What?" He finally got out.

Loki smiled almost bashfully up at him. "That's what I've been trying to tell you, for a while now. It's what I meant to say that night at the haunted football shack, I think you're a hero."

Dean was stunned. He was more than stunned, he was…stupefied.

"I'm no hero."

"Hey."

They both looked over at the groggy voice and saw Sam entering the room, rubbing his eyes and looking surprisingly well rested.

"Hey." Dean replied, voice full of energy as if his conversation with Loki hadn't taken place at all.

"What the hell happened?" Sam asked.

"One of the demons jumped us both at the motel." Dean replied quickly, as if he'd rehearsed it. "Crowley sorted them out and took us home."

"Crowley?" Sam asked sceptically.

"Yeah, I know. Weird, right?"

Sam ran a hand through his hair and sighed. "Man, I'm sorry. I thought I was ready for the hunt but I let you down."

"No, you didn't." Dean said firmly. "You're fighting fit, just like you said. That demon got us both, look, my head's in half."

"Are you okay?" Sam asked, looking worried.

Dean brushed himself off as if he meant nothing. "Yeah, of course, I'm fine. Always am. Are you okay, though? Seriously, man, how are you?"

"I'm fine, actually. I'm great. Better than I've felt in ages, like I've got way more head space now for some reason."

"Good, good…" Dean said, but he didn't look as cheerful as he sounded, something that didn't go unnoticed by the trickster next to him.

"I'm starving, is anyone else starving?" Sam asked suddenly. "I think I'm going to make food."

"Sure thing." Dean smiled, and Sam was out of the door.

Before Dean could even start his pity party, however, Loki had scooted his chair substantially nearer to where Dean sat perched on the edge of the table, elevating him just a few inches higher than him, until the God was practically between Dean's legs.

Dean was shocked at their sudden proximity but he was more shocked by the steely, almost angry, look on Loki's face.

"Listen to me, Winchester, because I'm not going to say this again. I don't know what you did to Sam, I don't want to know. But your brother was dying, whatever you did to save his life was the right thing to do. I would have done the same for Thor."

The flash of pain across Loki's strong eyes was unmistakable.

"And Sam would have done the same for you." Loki continued. "One of these days, you're going to have figure out that you're the good guy. Bad guys kill people, good guys save people and you've saved him, you've saved me."

"I never wanted to be a hero." Dean said. "I just want to do right by the pair of you. You're my family."

"Yes, we are. And that's never going to change."

And he was right. Whether Dean and Loki were friends, brothers or even lovers, they were together. And that was all that would ever matter.