Chapter 10- Bipolar
Felix's Point of View:
This guy... this bipolar, secretive, loner, towering guy has been getting on my nerves lately. His mood swings have been all over the place. One moment he's his usual self, threatening to kill me or something like that, then the next thing I know he's swiping my bangs out of my face and stroking my hair or staring at me, then suddenly he becomes cold and harsh, more than he usually is.
What's his deal? I can't keep up his sudden mood shifts at all! I just can't tell whether he's gonna hit me or hug me, and it's kinda terrifying if you ask me. Maybe this is his new way of getting me to leave him alone? I don't think so, cause when he catches himself being nice in any way he pulls back and gets angry.
I think he gets angry at himself for somehow having nice feelings around me, but his anger is lashed out on me so it doesn't help the fact that I finally got to him in some way. What I did to manage that, I have no clue.
It started when he caught me on the staircase. Afterward he started acting like this, which I agree what he did was kind of out of character for him. I didn't see who pushed me, but Ryan probably did.
I decided that as soon as the bell rang for our lunch period, I would confront him about it and demand to know what his problem was. I mean, I guess he sees me as a problem, but I meant besides me.
Ryan was already sitting on the rooftop, his lunch (though he calls it a "bento") sitting on his lap unopened, as if he were waiting for me to get there. Though then again, this was Ryan, so it might just be wishful thinking on my part.
As soon as I sat down the masked boy opened his bento and clapped his hands together, doing this ritual thing he usually does before tilting his mask just above his mouth. I don't know what sort of mumble jumble he starts talking in, but it certainly wasn't English. Sounded kinda Asian, honestly.
"I've been meaning to ask.. what is that you do?"
Ryan looked at me, head tilted in an inquiring way, "What, you mean when I thank for my meal?"
"Huh? Thank who for your meal? Your mom? God? Is that a Christian or Catholic or Hebrew thing religious people do"
The masked boy made a quiet laugh, but it was there all the same, and said bemused, "Not exactly. I suppose it is used in religious households to thank Kami-sama for their meal, but it is now more of a tradition that has become apart of Japanese custom."
"Japanese, huh? Is that what you are?" I asked, honestly curious.
"My father was." He said more quietly, and the feeling of him distancing himself came again. I guess that was a taboo subject, and he wouldn't open up anymore about it.
"Could you teach me how to do it?" I asked, trying to reel him back into whatever camaraderie there was before. I wanted to try to salvage the conversation, but bring it to safer waters.
He seemed to sort of snap out of whatever thoughts he was having, sounding surprised as he said, "Teach you, what, the custom?"
"Yeah!" I said enthusiastically, wanting to pull him into the same feeling of excitement, "Teach me how to say- what was it? Itadookimasute?"
"No, it's pronounced, Itadakimasu."
"Ee-ta-dakee-masu?"
"You'll get the hang of it with practice." He said with what looks like an amused smirk.
I grinned, laughing a little, "I'm not too good at other languages though. It took me awhile to learn English."
"Do not worry, it took me awhile to learn English as well..." Ryan trailed off, then suddenly reached out his hand toward me. I thought he was gonna slap me, but instead he pulled a few loose strands from my face and tucked it behind my ear, hand lingering there, cupping my face as he stared at me.
"U-um.. bro? Ryan? W-what are you doing?" I asked, embarrassed at being stared at so intensely, his hand sending tiny electric tingles through my ear and head. Staring back into his mask, I could almost make out his eye color.
Snapping out of it, he quickly pulled his hand away as though it had been burned, quickly gathering his lunch and starting to leave quickly.
"W-wait, Ryan!" I said, quickly rushing forward and grabbing his wrist, stopping him from leaving.
"Let go of me!" He exclaimed, tugging his arm to get it out of my grip, but I held fast.
"Not until you tell me what's going on." I said, growing a little angry but worried, "One moment we're all chummy, and the next you're either running away or calling me stupid or being more mean than usual. Please tell me why!"
"I don't know what you're talking about!" Ryan snapped, turning with angry anxiety in his voice, "We weren't all 'chummy', you just imagine we are!"
"I don't imagine it!" I snapped back, "Ever since you caught me from falling on the stairs, you've been acting weird. Why? Is it because of who pushed me?"
"Sorry that I decided to save you!" He said angrily, a growl in his voice, "Next time you get pushed off a fucking staircase, I won't bother helping you!"
"That's what I don't understand! Why would you help me?"
"For the last time, I'm not a god damn monster!" Ryan yelled, finally yanking his wrist free from my grip, looking at me as he suddenly said coldly, "I could never be friends with someone like you."
Flinching, I stepped back from him, and with that the masked boy ran off. I know he was just lashing out, trying to hurt me to get me to back off, but it hurt to hear that.
Still, I decided to chase after him.
/AN: It's about time Ryan lashed out at Felix. He is going through some strange changes after all, and he doesn't understand what's happening to him. Hope you enjoyed./