Edward's POV
I wanted to crucify Bryce. He deserved to be tortured for the rest of his meaningless existence. I thought of all the different ways I could murder him, yet castration seemed like the best possible idea.
I knew Carlisle would inform me that killing him would be too conspicuous, so I would have to think of other ways to avenge my Bella.
I had already made plans to watch out for Bella at the party from a distance, but I panicked when she went off on her own. It frightened me knowing I couldn't watch her through someone else's thoughts. I decided to text her and ask if I could still join them. I had been doing circles around the house in my Volvo when I picked up Bryce's thoughts. It was surprising to me that I managed to not expose myself right then and there. Surely Bella realized my immense strength when I slammed Bryce into the wall without any effort. It surprised me that she didn't bring it up.
Thinking about Bella being violated that way was unfathomable. I thanked the lucky stars for my existence for once in my life. Not all of us are as lucky.
I shuddered as I thought about what Royce did to Rosalie in the past.
I never thought of myself as perfect. Perfection is inaccessible to anyone. You could believe someone is perfect, but that is purely an opinion. I committed various acts of sin in my past. I wasn't always an animal drinker. Throughout my rebellious years, I drank from humans whose thoughts were as nefarious as Bryce's. It had excited me when I arrived to the scene of the crime in that stranger's bedroom. My body reacted like I was hunting. It told me to end his life. Now, imagine how difficult it was for me when Bella was thrown into the picture. I was animalistic and afraid of myself. The anger I held towards the situation is what resurrected my humanity.
Though when Bella described me as "perfect", it felt wrong to hear that word paired with myself. Yes, it made me feel like I won the lottery when she confessed her interest for me, but to be considered perfect? I was far from it.
My angel's thoughts were a locked diary, yet I respected her opinions as I would for a saint. They mattered.
Bella hardly pestered me with her questions, and I was grateful. I didn't have her answers just yet. To be quite honest, I didn't want her to know what I was just yet.
Can you imagine the situation? It'd sent her running.
"Oh hey Bella, I want to drink your blood more than a heroin addict needs his fix, but I also want to have a relationship with you".
Ha! My presence holds the same danger as someone who holds a knife to her throat 24-7. Possibly worse. Any quick movements or distractions could kill her in seconds.
Right now, I just wanted to enjoy my limited time with her. I could maybe get away with telling her secrets about my life here and there, but I wasn't ready to confess everything. Technically it was illegal to tell her, but the Volturi would most likely not find out.
Despite all my rude behavior, despite all my lies, Bella still sat here on this very bench with me, holding my hand. I wanted to moan whenever she would caress my hand with her thumb.
It frightened me at her closeness when she kissed my cheek, but my face still burned where her lips had been minutes ago. If she had kissed me too fast, I could have lost control. Her heat coming into contact with me so swiftly was simply too much. I was perpetually swallowing my venom and denying my body of its instincts as she returned to resting her head on my shoulder. Her arm shakily wrapped around my waist, unsure, and I put mine around hers, feeling euphoria at her touch.
The salty water splashed us slightly, and it made Bella's scent smell even better than before. Fire burned my throat as I buried my lips in her hair, breathing in her delectable fragrance.
It felt right being next to her this way. My focus of life wasn't about just getting by day by day anymore. It was about her. I lived for her blushing scarlet when she was embarrassed or hiding something. I lived for her touch. I lived for the enticing feeling I felt when I looked into her chocolate orbs. Her eyes resembled the color of the earth kissed by spring rains, the hue that promises to stir life from the dormant seeds, the deep brown of the winter trees at twilight. The soft warmness of her eyes warps around me like a blanket, and makes me feel at home. I was changed. And I only hoped she wouldn't run from me when she learned the truth.
We stared out at the water for what seemed like hours, watching the tide come in. The ocean's vast, limitless expanse reminded me of life. You could be anything, do anything.
Gandhi had once said that whatever you do in life will be insignificant, but it's very important that you do it. I used to only agree with the first part, but now I understood. Gandhi knew his life would have meaning to someone or something, somehow and somewhere. And now I knew what my life's meaning was for.
Bella suddenly yawned, reminding me of her needs.
"Shall I bring you home now?" I asked her, still having my lips against her hair.
She sighed and nodded. I could tell she didn't want to leave our embrace as much I didn't.
I helped her stand, but her knees seemed shaky. Without my arms holding her in place, she would have surely fallen.
"Are you able to walk back to the car?" I asked, worried. Carrying her would surely test my control, but I was sure I could do it.
She steadied herself and blinked her eyes a few times. "Yes, I'm fine."
She reached down and grabbed my hand again, making me smile. We walked our way back to the car and drove home in silence. I was sure Bella was falling asleep, but then she spoke, "I am incredibly grateful for you saving me, but can I please ask you something?"
I knew the questions were bound to come. I sighed and nodded, prepared for anything.
"I know you're hiding stuff from me, and that's ok if you're not ready to tell me yet. I want you to know you can trust me." She began, biting her lip. "My friend Jacob once told me you and your family were dangerous. I knew something was different about you, but he never spilled the truth. He lives on the Quileute reservation back in Forks. I don't believe you're bad though. You happen to appear just at the right times, and you have inhuman qualities that can't be explained on their own. Can you please just me something significant so I'm not completely blind to the situation?" she asked me.
Damn that Jacob Black. He's lucky he didn't say anything. Bella was wrong about me being bad though. She was too naïve.
I thought about what I could share with her without scaring her away. Her heavy breathing intoxicated me as her delicious scent filled the car.
"Just start by how you found me." She continued, ushering me.
I suppose that secret could be shared.
I took a deep breath, reminding myself of the monster I was. "I have a gift that may seem like science-fiction." I told her. "I can read minds."
She looked panicked. Her heart started racing as her eyes widened in horror.
"Calm down, I can't read yours." I assured her, rolling my eyes.
She didn't know what to say. She appeared shocked.
"Why can't you read mine?" her eyes looked suspicious.
I speculated this for myself too. "I don't know. I've never experienced it before. It drives me insane."
She seemed smug by this.
"So is that how you knew about Bryce?" she questioned, believing me.
I nodded. "I knew he wasn't good since the first day of college. He's a pig." I let her know, grinding my teeth at the thought.
"And you read his mind at the party? That's how you found me?"
"I was afraid for your safety so I went anyways, keeping a close eye on the situation. Then I heard what he was thinking." I snarled, remembering his actions.
"Was that the reason you went to the same movie as us too?" she asked, completely entranced in our conversation.
For a human, she was pretty perceptive.
"Yes." was all I replied as I pulled into the parking lot to her apartment complex.
She looked outside, probably confused. I forgot that I wasn't supposed to know where she lived yet.
"Hey! I thought you said you couldn't read my mind!" she huffed, crossing her arms.
I laughed, shaking my head. "I can't. I had to make sure you got home safe after the movies though." I confessed feeling embarrassed when I thought about my little uninvited adventure to her home.
"Oh." She calmed down. " So it was you who kept driving by like a madman that night." She put the pieces together, directing her hand to my car.
I chuckled more, nodding.
I got out of the car and ran to her side before she could reach the handle. I opened the door for her, and she jumped not realizing I was there. Being around her made me forgot to hide my façade.
She got out the car, still wearing my jacket. It made her small body seem even more fragile. We walked to her apartment building door and I stopped, prepared to say goodbye to her, but her words refrained me.
"Can you come inside with me?" her eyes looked up at me, as she sounded hopeful. I wasn't sure what to say. Being actually invited inside could make it impossible to not be tempted by her.
"It's fine if you don't want to…I just don't want to be alone after what happened tonight." She spoke, and I could tell she was worried.
I decided to give into her pleas. "Ok."
She unlocked the door and led me to the 4th story of the building.
When we entered, I was hit with her overpowering scent again, but it wasn't so bad because I had been with her for most of the evening. I was able to examine everything clearly now as she stepped inside, placing her keys down on the kitchen table. One thing that surprised me about her house was that she didn't have a TV in the living room. Instead, an iPod docking station was on the TV stand. I never noticed it before.
"May I have a proper tour?" I asked her.
"Um, sure." She said, leading her way through the place. We walked out of her kitchen/living room and headed down the tiny hallway.
"There's the bathroom." She pointed to a small room and then she paused in front of her bedroom door.
"My place isn't that big. Also, don't mind my bedroom. It's a little messy." She admitted, opening the door.
We walked in, and I noticed more books were scattered everywhere. The lights on the wall had been left on. She had a few pieces of clothing on the ground. I noticed her bra was hanging from the headboard on the bed. She blushed seeing it too, so she grabbed it and threw it in her closet.
"Sorry." She apologized. "I haven't had company over in a long time."
I walked around her room, examining its every detail. She had a few frames on her desk that held pictures of her when she was younger. I finally got to see who her mother was. Then she had some pictures from Forks. There was a lot of her with a girl with dark brown hair, and a boy who looked Quileute.
"That's Jacob and Angela." She informed me, sitting down on the bed.
"So I take it you enjoyed Forks?" I asked, noting her genuine smile in all of the pictures. It pained me to think what life would have been life I had stayed with her.
"Yes, I miss my friends sometimes, but I don't exactly miss Forks. Seattle is much more exciting." She spilled some of her thoughts. I liked that I was beginning to know more about her.
I didn't want to offend her by sitting on the bed beside her, so I remained standing. She stared at me, eyes filled with wonder. She bit her lip seeming to be thinking about something, as she blushed more. What could be on her mind? Her stomach growled, breaking the silence.
"I should probably eat something. I don't remember the last time I ate today." She said, standing up and heading towards the kitchen. I followed her.
"Would you like anything to eat?" she offered. I held back a laugh.
"No thank you, I ate earlier." I lied.
She made herself a quick sandwich and we both sat down at her small dinner table. I watched as she ate, but I noticed she began to get self-conscious. I forgot humans normally don't like being watched while eating. I just liked watching the way her mouth moved.
"Sorry, I don't have really have anything entertaining here." She apologized. I didn't need entertainment when I had Bella. I didn't want to continue making her uncomfortable though so I stood up from the table and walked to her IPod dock. I picked up the device and started searching through her music. To my surprise, it was all classical pieces. The last thing she was listening to was Gymnopédies No.1. One of my favorites. I started playing it, feeling exhilarated.
"You like Erik Satie?" she asked, shocked.
I thought about all the times I played it on my piano, never getting to experience the same passion I felt towards it with anyone else.
"Yes. Although, I prefer to play it myself." I said, walking back to her.
"You play?" she questioned in disbelief. "I've always wanted to learn. Is there anything you aren't good at?"
I laughed at her response.
"Maybe I'll play for you sometime."
Suddenly the song ended and switched to Claire De Lune by Debussy.
Her mouth fell open as I held out my hand for her.
"May I have this dance?" I politely asked her. Her breathing and heart rate sped at my gesture, but she eventually stood up, taking my hand. I marveled at her touch, trying to be careful.
"I don't know if you know this, but I really can't walk straight, let alone dance." She told me nervously as I led her towards her living room.
She was awkward with her movements, so I gently lifted her up, sliding my feet below hers. I moved gracefully around the room, and tried to not think about the monster inside of me.
Her fragrance enveloped me as I tried controlling myself. I was so close to her throat that I could see the blue vein pumping, calling my name. My throat was burning, but I began to find it easy to ignore when I paid closer attention to other aspects about her. I began to feel lustful when I stared down her lips that she kept biting out of habit. I breathed out of my mouth, accidentally blowing my breath in her face.
Bella seemed to be affected by me too because her heart never slowed and her pupils were dilated. Without thinking, I stopped dancing and gently placed one of my cold hands on the side of her cheek, utterly in awe as its warmth caressed me.
I could feel her pulse under her paper skin, but I didn't let that get in the way.
I leaned in daringly, afraid to not make any sudden movements. Bella closed her eyes and started leaning in too, as if she knew what I was about to do.
"Don't move, please." I told her and she stopped. Her breathing became more ragged at the anticipation, and it casted a cloud of warmth against my face, making it more difficult to pay attention.
I made sure I swallowed every bit of venom as I finally place my lips against hers.
The feeling was breathtaking. I moved my lips slowly against hers; taking in the exhilarating sensations it was giving me. She tasted so sweet and divine. I hadn't opened my mouth all the way, because I was afraid of my teeth coming in contact with her, but her fragrance still made its way to my tongue. One of my hands moved to her waist, pulling her closer to me. Bella seemed to react to this because she clutched me closer to her too, running her hand through my hair. I moaned. Never had I experienced something so invigorating in my entire life. Her other hand ran down my chest, and with that, I had to stop.
I pulled away, and she gasped for air.
"Wow." She breathed, still lost in her lust.
"You should probably get some sleep." I panted, trying to do what was right for our situation.
She still had her hands on me as her breathing began to slow.
"Will you spend the night with me?" she begged me, clutching onto my shirt.
I couldn't have been happier. "Whoa, I usually like to be taken to dinner first." I joked, smiling down at her.
She rolled her eyes, looking down. Her blush stained her cheeks, and I felt it against my skin being so close to her.
"You know I don't mean like that." She bantered.
"Do you want me to sleep on the couch?" I asked, trying to not make her uncomfortable. She bit her lip, contemplating.
"It's up to you." She stated, heart racing. I didn't want to make her uncomfortable, especially after what happened tonight.
I signed, deciding it would be more appropriate to not share a bed with her.
"I'll just sleep on the couch. Call me if you need anything."
"Ok." She agreed and walked towards her room. Her face looked slightly upset as she came back with a pillow and blanket. Did she want me to sleep in her room with her?
"Goodnight, Edward." She whispered as she turned off the light. "Thank you again for everything."
I lied down on the couch, pretending to get comfy. "It was my pleasure. Sleep well, Bella." I replied back.
I could see the blush on her face even in the dark room, but she smiled and went into her room.
Now what was I supposed to do?
A few hours into her sleep, I heard her moving around on her bed, as if she was having a nightmare.
"Get off ME! NO!" she screamed, making me run to her room at an inhuman speed. I saw tears streaming down her face as I entered and I quickly went to her side.
"Bella, wake up." I soothed, gently shoving her so she would wake.
She gasped when she saw me, almost terrorized. Her breathing staggered, but her tears didn't stop.
"I'm sorry. I was having a nightmare…about him." She breathed, trying to steady herself. It broke my heart to see her in pain. I lied down on the bed beside her. I wanted to kill him.
"Shhh, Bella. It's ok. I'm here." I soothed her more, wrapping my arms around her protectively as I rubbed her back. She turned her face into my chest, crying more as she let her emotions out. One of her arms wrapped around my abdomen, causing me to shiver. I was surprised she wasn't in shock before when it all initially happened. It was normal for her to feel like this.
I placed my lips in her hair, kissing her lightly, as I breathed in her scent. Eventually she stopped crying and I heard her breathing even out. Unable to move, I decided it was best to stay where I was. I couldn't deny that I liked being here better than "sleeping" on the boring couch.
She didn't wake up again throughout the night, but she did whisper something in her sleep that could have been meant for anyone, yet my dead heart fluttered to life when I heard it.
"Love you." She whispered.
Things are starting to get better for Bella and Edward. It might seem weird that she's trusting/accepting him when he's supposed to be dangerous, but her instincts tell her otherwise. Also, their love is different than the average human's so don't kill me for throwing the word around! She'll eventually find out what he is soon. Please review! Has my writing style improved at all?