Author's Note: So sorry for the huge break, my first few weeks of school were very busy. Unfortunately, my workload will not be decreasing anytime soon (because, fortunately, I got a part in the play!) so my updates will be farther apart. However, we are nearing the end! Drop me a line and let me know how I am doing!
Disclaimer: If I was awesome enough to be the owner of this story, I would have enough money to have been able to fly to England and run into barriers at King's Cross yesterday.
Chapter 10
Pain coursed through his body. It did not stop. Every minute that passed worsened the struggle. He couldn't live without them anymore.
I saw my mother approaching from a distance, but I did not move from my spot on the ground. Hugo accompanied her, splashing through the puddles with his head ducked from the rain.
As she drew nearer, I felt a deep surge of guilt. Her face was marked by rain and tears alike, and anger and despair covering every inch of her flesh. I involuntarily curled into a tighter shape, scared of the words she would hit me with.
Yet the arms that wrapped around me were gentle, as my mother picked me up wordlessly. Her face was a mask of anguish.
She trudged slowly down the length of the street before she said anything.
"You are going to Uncle Ron and Aunt Hermione's house. They are going to babysit you for the day."
My heart dropped like a stone. "What happened to Daddy?" I asked, feeling a rush of fear.
Her response was short. "He is very sick."
My tears fell afresh. It was no wonder she looked so distressed, I ran away from home on a bad morning for Dad. It must be really bad, if she is sending me away, I thought shamefully. A cough racked my body as I cried. I felt very cold.
I heard Hugo splash up alongside us, and I turned my face to look at him. He looked very pale.
"Cheer up," I murmured, "You get to spend the whole day with me."
He gave me a concerned look. "Lily…you don't look so good…"
A moment later I was on the ground again, retching and coughing.
My mom's cool hands felt my forehead. "She's burning up," she murmured quietly, "We'd better hurry."
I saw her clasp Hugo's hand as she turned on the spot, bringing the crushing darkness around me.
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I was lying on a warm, dry couch. Although my eyes were closed, I felt safe. The room felt familiar. Could I have returned to the station to talk to Dumbledore already?
Disappointment flooded my heart as my eyes snapped open. I was lying on the couch in Hermione's and Ron's sitting room. Seeing my eyes open, Ron came across the room and sat on the floor beside the couch. I saw Hugo sitting in the corner, eyes closed as though he was deep in thought.
"Hey, Lily-bear."
"Hey, Uncle Ron…What happened?"
He sighed, pushing my damp hair out of my face.
"Well, your Dad wasn't having the best morning when he woke up. So he decided not to go to work. Your mum went to wake you up and bring you over here for the day, but you weren't in your bed. She came here to look for you, but we didn't know where you were either. We all went out to look. Hugo eventually found you…on the ground outside the monument house. While your mother was bringing you back here, you got sick. You were running a slight fever. She Apparated here so she could get you inside faster, but you feel unconscious during the trip. Once we made sure you were okay, she and Hermione went to take carry of Harry. I stayed here to watch you."
His eyes widened in shock as I jumped to my feet, swaying slightly from the sudden movement. "What are you doing?" He asked nervously. "I have to go see my Dad," I replied firmly.
"No," he replied, voice just as firm. He gently guided me back to the couch. "You can go see him in a bit. You have to rest first."
I huffed an angry breath, seeing no way to escape the situation. I closed my eyes quickly, hoping he would think I fell asleep. He chuckled humorlessly.
But before I knew it, I really was drifting off, the long morning finally catching up with me.
I was in a strange state as I heard the voice, half asleep and half awake.
"Lily, you must understand. He must explain the whole story for you. You learned a great deal today, but he needs to tell you everything. You need to get back to your house. Now, while he is most vulnerable, he needs to tell the truth. He has been hiding it all too long and it is eating him up. If you don't do something soon, he might try to end the pain. Only an unbelievable about of bravery has kept him safe thus far. You must be brave too, be brave for him. I have faith in you. We all have faith in you. Go find your father."
I had barely rubbed the sleep out of my eyes before I was out the door, Uncle Ron and Hugo obliviously sleeping in the living room.
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Hermione screamed softly as she stepped out of the Room, nearly running into me in my place outside the door.
"Lily," she hissed, "What are you doing here? You were supposed to stay with Ron."
"I need to see my Dad," I stated calmly.
"You can't."
"I need to see him. Now. I can't help him if I don't know the truth."
Her expression softened slightly. "Lily…you can't help him. It's something he needs to go through by himself. None of us can help him."
I sighed, exasperated. "You will never believe this, but Albus, Albus Dumbledore that is, visited me in a dream. I need to learn the truth about the Room."
An awkward pause followed, and I worried she would call me crazy. But then, something in her expression changed. I hadn't thought she would believe me, but I could see it in her eyes. She did believe me. I wondered if she, too, had visited the station in her dreams.
"I'll get your mother," she said quietly.
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I felt a true, deep fear clench my heart as I saw my mother's face. She looked simply awful, anguished and ridden with hopelessness. As Aunt Hermione guided her from the Room, nodding me in, I realized I didn't want to go. I was afraid. I wanted to help my mother instead, let the adults take care of my father. Hermione seemed to see it in my face, and told me in a soothing voice, "She is distressed to see Harry like this. You can help her by helping him. Go now. It is your time."
I shivered slightly at the words. Wondering what my brothers would think if they could see me, I pushed open the door to the Room. The Room of Death, James called it. I couldn't let it literally become that.
Tears struck my eyes as my footsteps creaked the floorboards.
Although I had been expecting it, seeing the broken man curled on the floor was still painful. Daddy, I thought. I may have said it aloud, but I wasn't sure. He did not move to acknowledge the living presence.
As I sat on the floor beside him, I took in my first real look at the room. I immediately knew I had seen it before, in several of my nightmares.
There was no furniture in the Room, save for a small wooden desk. Sitting upon the desk was the photo album of my grandparents, along with several other albums, stacks of pictures, and countless letters. Simple wooden boards covered the floor, as though the person sitting upon it did not need physical comforts. Three of the four walls were bare, plain and colorless.
The fourth wall, which had the wooden desk against it, was covered in picture frames.
Gazing down on us from the walls were countless people, all of their eyes flickering between my Dad and I.
Some of the faces I recognized, such as Dad's parents and Uncle George's twin. Others I did not recognize at all, but I felt a draw to each of them. Could the lady with pink hair be Teddy's mother…? I felt a small shock as I noticed one picture, slightly separate from the others, was Minerva McGonagall. I found myself searching their faces hungrily, wanting to know each of them personally.
Suddenly, I felt a strange sensation. It was as though there was a slight disturbance in the room, as though there were people in the small space. People besides my Dad and myself. I couldn't see them, but I could feel their presence, the silent voices encouraging me. The voice at my cousins' house had said "We all have faith in you." Gazing across the pictures, my eyes locked on a pair of vivid blue ones. Although the picture could not talk, I could feel his words reverberating through my body. "It is my belief that you are the one who can help him best right now… you must convince your father to show you the Room and tell you about his past."
I slowly approached the damaged person on the floor, sitting down beside him quietly.
"Daddy…Daddy, tell me what happened. What happened to them?" My voice dropped lower as he remained motionless. "Please Daddy, just tell me the truth."
He shook slightly, choking as though he could not say the words. I gave him plenty of time, waiting for him to gain some composure. Eventually he sat up, facing the wall as I did. I looked at him sideways, but he did not meet my gaze. His eyes were pink and puffy, mere slits on the twisted face.
"Lily…" he began, voice rasping and breaking. He swallowed, and then started again. "Lily, meet James, Lily, Sirius, Remus, Tonks, Cedric, Severus, Fred, Dobby, Hedwig, Dumbledore, Mad-Eye, Colin, and Lavender." He paused for a moment, but I could see he was not finished. Pointing at a small photograph lower on the wall, containing four people, he finished in a pained voice, "And Peter."
A droplet of blood dripped down his face, mingling with tear. Surprised, my eyes traveled up to his forehead. His scar was flaming red, dripping blood as though it had been carved into his head again, or as if someone tried to scratch it off. "And they're all dead because of me," he whispered in a hollow voice.