The only time he speaks his feelings

AN: hey everyone, really sorry for it being so late, you must hate me… so I hope this makes up for it, this chapter is M rated by the way, hope you like it xx review if you can. Thank you for reading.

Part 10

Before their meeting in the archives when Ianto had asked Jack whether he would ever leave torchwood if he was asked, Jack hadn't seen that bland mask for a long time. He hated seeing Ianto with that expression, hiding so much behind those beautiful eyes of his...

But yet again Ianto had that mask on, yet this time it made him feel sick. He felt confused; didn't Ianto believe him when he said he loved him just moments ago? He'd never found the guts to say it before now, finding it too difficult because everyone he loved eventually left him. However finally he grew the courage to speak out but the response wasn't what he'd hoped. Was it too late? Was it not good enough? Maybe the fact that he'd waited this long to announce it had made Ianto feel rejected that much, he eventually made himself believe that this couldn't be anything more than sex.

That couldn't be true though, he'd said those words last night and Ianto believed him, he said he was overwhelmed. He guessed that the question in the archives was much more important then he'd realised and it took stupid John hart to make him notice. He felt angry with himself why had he been so stupid!

As he thought about this he had this massive feeling of hatred towards oneself. He actually thought he didn't deserve this chance to explain anymore. He thought that Ianto should move on and be with someone that actually made him feel good, and loved him with all his heart.

As these thoughts were running through Jacks mind, Ianto sat before him seeing the different emotions run across his lovers face. He noticed that he was upset and wondered if he assumed that what he'd said made no difference. When he suddenly saw his expression change to anger he knew it was focused on Jack himself.

"JACK" he shouted bringing him out of his reverie. "Stop it" he continued. Jack looked on quite shocked he hadn't expected that. He was preparing himself for Ianto's anger saying that he hadn't changed his mind about leaving.

"Stop it?" Jack repeated back at him.

"Yes! I know what you're thinking, and it's not true… to be honest with you…" Ianto sighed. "I'm overwhelmed to hear you say you love me to my face! But I wanted you to finish first, I still need to know things" he finished. Jack looked on as he listened to Ianto. The feelings of warmth and relief ran through him when Ianto told him different to what he first assumed.

He believes me? He knows I love him… Jack said to himself feeling happier by the minute. It took him a few minutes to break the silence again, the fact that Ianto might have been rethinking his decision to leave making him drift off and smiling to himself, although he still thought that Ianto shouldn't be staying for him.

"So what else do you want to know? Because whatever it takes I'll do it" Jack asked pushing all his negative thoughts out of his mind, before looking back at Ianto.

"I...when I heard you last night, I realised there was nothing more for us than this, that we'd never take our relationship to the next step, that's why I asked you in the archives if you'd ever leave all this for anyone… I guess I just wanted to make sure, one more go because my dreams have always been to marry and finally have a family with someone, I was hoping that would be you but I discovered I was wrong to think this when you said no" Ianto explained not hiding the pain he felt any longer. "Did u really mean that?" he questioned quietly.

Jack watched him feeling terrible, he knew this would come up, and hearing it repeatedly only made him feel worse, he was stupid to have not thought about what Ianto was actually implying here, and if he'd actually seen the meaning behind it, then he would have definitely said yes. He did want to leave everything! Of course, a thousand times over if it meant carrying on his future with this special man.

"Ianto… when you asked me that in the archives I wasn't actually thinking about what you meant… I thought you were saying if someone else asked me to choose between them or you, who would, I choose. I said no because I would never leave you again for anyone else… but I now know you meant you! Leave all this to have a lovely life with you... I'm so sorry for hurting you…"

"Jack stop it! Do you really mean that? You'd choose me?" Ianto asked dumbstruck.

This was the first thing to bring Jacks spirit back up, since he'd arrived here. Of course he meant it!

"Yes I do, I'll always choose you, even if the doctor came back… because that's not who I am anymore, I want to be your partner, lover… I came here to tell you that I'll leave torchwood and everything else for you!" Jack cried finally pouring out all his emotions to this man, so he could see what Jack thought about every day he spent with him. "If you'll have me…" Jack suddenly continued looking down, not wanting to jinx anything if he was to instantly assume that Ianto would take him back.

When Ianto had arrived at his sister's he'd said to himself that he wouldn't give in to Jack so easily this time. Jack always had a way with words, he always knew what to say, but this time Ianto promised that he wouldn't be so easy… he couldn't do this anymore. That's why at first when he heard those three words said to his face he'd stopped himself from running into Jacks arms. This time that wouldn't work, he needed to know that Jack wouldn't leave him again and that he'd sacrifice things for him. So that he was put first for once…

But now he'd heard everything he could have wished for, although he never expected It. Jack had just told him that he chose him! Out of everyone, and he was going to leave torchwood if he wanted him to. Since hearing this, the thought of leaving made him feel sick. How could he leave this gorgeous loving man that was sat before him? There was nothing out there that could come close to Jack.

He eventually came out his thoughts to see Jack sitting quietly looking lost. He knew he needed to tell him what he was feeling because Jack looked as if he'd given up, and he hated seeing Jack like this… he wanted to see his beautiful smile, and he wanted to lie in those comfortable strong arms of his.

"Jack!" Ianto said a few moments later making Jack look up slowly. Ianto could just about see Jack's eyes becoming blurry showing he was close to tears.

"..Yes?" he replied shakily

Ianto stood up and moved towards the chair Jack was slouched in, Jack looked up at him surprised, a tear rolling down his face.

"Get up" Ianto ordered softly. Jack didn't know what to think, was this a farewell? Did he at least get a goodbye hug? He guessed this was good but he wasn't sure he would be able to let go.

Jack eventually got up to stand in front of Ianto, taking a deep breath to stop himself from crying again. He didn't know what to expect so closed his eyes letting the familiar smell of his lover wash over him for the last time. However the next thing he recalled was the touch of a finger swiping across his face removing the signs of recent tears. Jack choked back a sob when he felt that lovely hand so close all he wanted to do was kiss it. He opened his eyes to see Ianto looking back at him with worry, to say he was confused would be an understatement he didn't understand what was going on, but he was unable to continue his thoughts when Ianto suddenly grabbed his neck and pulled his head forwards crushing their lips together. Jack instantly moaned as he felt those tasty lips on his, he'd missed that all so familiar taste, even though it was only last night when he'd claimed him as his and tasted every part of him.

He wanted to cry or laugh at first because this was everything he prayed for, but eventually after getting over the initial shock he just put his arms around Ianto's neck and waist pulling him even closer so as to touch every other inch of him.

Even though he never would have imagined this happening, part of his mind was filled with doubt about this being more than a goodbye kiss. He still didn't think he deserved him especially another chance when he'd hurt him so badly before.

Ianto could feel how tense Jack's body was and realised some part of him still assumed he was leaving.

"Jack!" Ianto gasped as he broke the kiss abruptly.

"Yes?" Jack whispered, praying that this wasn't the last time he would feel his lover close to him.

"I Love you too, and I'm not going anywhere". He replied smiling reassuringly.

Jack was shocked to say the least, wanting to smile, laugh, or cry! Even, since this was what he'd hoped to hear since he arrived.

"What?" he said startled. Ianto laughed and repeated what he said moments ago, just wanting Jack's smile to reappear.

"What? I mean are you sure?" he asked the start of a smile surfacing at the corners of his lips. Ianto nodded and let out a massive laugh when Jacks reaction was to pick him up and spin him round kissing his cheeks and neck sweetly.

Jack x Ianto

Since his sister had left the room twenty minutes previous, the urge to hear what was said between them was all too much that she had instantly stayed close to the closed door, hearing everything clearly, also her children had sat at the top of the stairs watching her every expression not quite understanding why at one point she blushed at hearing something from within the room.

As soon as that wonderful laughed echoed the walls she couldn't keep from entering any longer and burst into the room smiling brightly when she saw them both hugging and kissing. She could see so obviously that they were clearly smitten with each other, that she pushed all her anger towards this older man out of her head.

Eventually Ianto and Jack reluctantly stopped their touches towards one another so they could turn to see who had entered. Ianto smiled sheepishly, the beginning of a blush creeping up his neck. He let go of Jack so he could finally introduce them to one another.

"Sis this is Jack… my lover" he smiled. "And this is my sister Rhiannon; hopefully you can both start again". He finished causing them to nod enthusiastically, Jack grabbed Rhiannon's hand and kissed it politely making her giggle.

Ianto rolled his eyes, before Rhiannon suddenly turned serious not letting him off completely since he had hurt her brother.

"Well Jack, I'm glad to see you are back with my brother now, but if you ever hurt him again I will kill you" she said making Jack drop his smile and look down.

"I won't hurt him again I assure you" he replied looking up again.

"Good!" she said smiling again and bringing him close for a hug. Jack looked at Ianto shocked triggering Ianto to grin and shrug.

Jack was very happy to meet Ianto's family, and was much calmer when Ianto's niece and nephew now greeted him with smiles as well, but all he wanted was to take Ianto home and show how much he loved him. Fortunately for Jack, Ianto sensed this and also wanted the same thing, quickly thinking of a way for them to leave that wouldn't seem rather rude.

"Sis, I'm really sorry but Jack and I are going to have to hurry along, I completely forgot that Jack has to get back to work since he has an appointment with someone of an importance". He said acting disappointed.

Since he'd started saying this Jack looked on confused, having not realised that he was obviously making this up. Ianto looked at him when he said appointment and it suddenly came to him. He looked at Rhiannon trying to keep a straight face and was relieved when she nodded and got up to walk them to door. They quickly said their goodbyes before rushing to the car and driving off. Once again Jack's speed was very dangerous it was surprising that he hadn't once caused any damage today because of it, Fate must really be on his side today…

As soon as they arrived at their flat they couldn't stop the need to touch each other as soon as they entered, grabbing everything that belonged to their lover, and ripping every piece of clothing not in the least bit bothered that they were beyond ruined. They moved towards the bedroom, leaving a trail behind them until they reach the bed, now completely naked.

They took a moment to look at each other smiling shyly, giggling soon after at how nervous they seemed even though they'd been together for such a long time. Carrying on from where they stopped, Jack pushed Ianto onto the bed climbing on to sit between his lovers legs. He then lay down on top of him so that he could kiss his lips lovingly, their kiss becoming more passionate soon after. At the same time he moved one hand down to caress his nipples, pinching them softly, smiling when it caused Ianto to lift his body off the bed. He then used his other hand to touch his waist gently, stroking it slowly up and down.

Ianto was now in a complete mess the slight touch having a massive effect on him, making him gasp and moan loudly stopping their kiss. Jack moved his head down so he could kiss his neck and shoulders, using this chance to plant lots of love bites over him.

"Jack! Please!" Ianto begged his eyes tightly shut. Jack didn't need telling twice, opening the draw that was beside their bed to grab the lube they kept hidden. He then stopped his ministrations with his other hand, and pour a small amount of lube onto his fingers before dropping it on the bed nearby, Slowly moving to sit up between Ianto's legs once again. He stroked his lover's cock slowly grinning when Ianto moaned with relief at having his intimate part touched.

"Oh god yes… please" Ianto whispered.

Jack stroked him at a faster pace and moved his fingers to Ianto arse, swiping one finger over his hole, laughing when Ianto's breath hitched. He continued to do this a few more times but stopped when Ianto growled quite frustrated.

"Stop teasing Jack... Make love to me" Ianto managed to say.

This made Jack move his fingers back to his lover's arse, although this time he instantly thrust a finger within his hole making Ianto gasp with pleasure, Moving it back and forth for a few moments before he joined a second, and then a third. Since arriving back at their home, Jack had desperately wanted to be inside Ianto but had ignored his need, wanting this to be about Ianto, showing him how much he loved him with every touch. However on seeing Ianto open and ready for him he couldn't wait any longer and when he heard Ianto moan his name weakly he rushed to grab the lube after he stopped touching Ianto's cock. And pour a tiny bit more onto his fingers so he could cover his cock with it.

Seconds later he was moving his cock to line up with his lover's hole, only the tip touching it for the moment, the need to be inside having grown a full force but he still needed to know Ianto was ready, in case he hurt him.

"Jack! Now!" told him what he needed to know, and he pushed in going down so he could bring his lips to Ianto's as he entered him. Within moments he was fully inside of him, his balls against his lovers butt cheeks. As they kissed frantically they moaned within each other's mouths the pleasure was making them see stars they were finally where they belonged.

Eventually Jack started to move although he knew he couldn't last long, although unbeknownst to him Ianto was very close as well. The speed soon became fast and they were moaning each other's name constantly.

Jack knew Ianto was close, and whispered he loved him in his ear, this making Ianto suddenly come below him, shouting Jack's name, Jack following moments later when Ianto finally got the ability to speak back and whispered the same thing. For a good few moments they just enjoyed being in each other's arm, breathing heavily getting their breaths back. Jack hadn't left Ianto's body yet and didn't really want to either… but he knew he had to get off Ianto soon so he didn't hurt him. He reluctantly moved a few minutes later and lay beside his lover, he grabbed Ianto and pulled him to lie against his body, his lover's head now on top of his chest.

"Ianto?" he said breaking the silence.

"Yes?" Ianto replied.

"Thank you for staying with me… I love you, and I'll never leave I promise" he whispered lovingly.

"I know, and I love you too" Ianto replied moments later lifting his head to smile at Jack.