Chapter 10

Author's note: A guy is about to get pregnant, I already messed up science lol

Renji kissed his lips, touching a hand to his stomach.

"One day, I want you to have my baby," Renji told him, Ichigo looking to him with lidded eyes of content. They laid on the couch in Ichigo's room their bodies entwined so neither would fall off. Ichigo snorted, Renji sliding his hand down between his legs. Ichigo bit his lip when he ran a finger over the head of his cock. Renji kissed his lips again, getting on top of him.

"I'll take you when you're in your next heat. I'll make sure you bare my children."

Ichigo sighed when he woke up from the dream, feeling arms wrapped around him protectively. He reached for the hand against his hip, linking it's fingers with his.

That's when he realized they weren't Renji's.

He opened his eyes, seeing the room he was in. He vaguely remembered whose room it was and who laid down next to him, swallowing thickly. He tried to let go of the hand but it tightened around his, Ichigo closing his eyes when soft lips touched against his neck and a low grumble for him to go back to sleep was mumbled against his skin.

He had foolishly dreamed about Renji while he slept, forgetting about who he had really shamed himself with. He rose up slowly, his hand slipping from the other. For several long days he had been in heat, and for several long days Grimmjow had been there for him. Ichigo brought his knees to his chest, looking to Grimmjow who slept next to him.

They had unprotected sex.

Ichigo closed his eyes, fisting his hands in his hair. They had unprotected sex while he was in heat and he didn't even think about the consequences. He felt like crying, wondering what he could do to reverse this. If it had just been one day he could have taken the morning after pill right? He could have ended this. He felt his eyes burn, laying down and facing away from Grimmjow.

He could do nothing now. He had shamed himself more than ever. He knew that if the Rukia, the one he had created over the years that turned him over to Grimmjow, he knew that she would have been happy. There was no stopping what he had started now. There was no eject button like he so desperately hoped for.

"Ichigo." Grimmjow put a hand onto his waist, pulling him closer. Ichigo didn't even want to look at him, angry with himself more than he was at him. No man could have controlled himself around a neko in heat, the smell was too potent and fogged the mind. But, he could have controlled himself. He could have fought it off and just stayed in his room.
But no. He needed to rut. And like the animal he was he did.

He pushed away from Grimmjow when he kissed his neck, Grimmjow's expression one of confusion as Ichigo stormed out of the room.

What had he done?

Ichigo walked into his room, closing the door softly behind him before sliding down and sitting on his ass. His body was sore, everything in a pain he had not known since the first time he and Renji first had sex.

His body wanted nothing more to just drop and sleep, but Ichigo's mind ran at a hundred miles per hour. He tilted his head back, looking up to the ceiling. He was so angry with himself, closing his eyes when he smelt Grimmjow's spiky scent heavily layered with his own. He felt him knock on the door, willing away the tears that wanted to fall.

"Go away," Ichigo told him stoically, refusing to let him see him like this. He was a failure to himself and his kind. This was no longer a punishment, this could never equal to the amount of damage he had done to Rukia. He had always been careful, he made sure he stayed far away from Renji when he went into heat, he made sure he always used a condom. He was so careful, and when it mattered most he forgot.

"Ichigo are you alright?" Grimmjow asked, Ichigo biting his lip. He felt his eyes burn again but stopped himself, telling himself to have control. He was still the owner of this body, he could still…

Ichigo put his head on his knees, unable to believe his own words anymore. He had marked Grimmjow and Grimmjow had marked him. They were permanent mates and unless Grimmjow dumped him in the middle of the road, he couldn't get out of this.

What had he done?

"Ichigo open the door." Ichigo shook his head, taking in a deep breath as he tried to control himself. The very thing he lacked to do before. He stood up slowly, ordering himself not to run away from his fear. He took a step forward before turning around, grabbing the door knob.

Could he really face him? The man who could possibly be the father of his child?

Ichigo swung his door open, forcing himself not to run away. He was a proud neko, no matter how low he had degraded himself. Grimmjow stood in front of him, Ichigo taking in a deep breath to calm his nerves.

"Yes Grimmjow?" He asked, Grimmjow seeming confused again. It seemed to slowly click into his mind though, Ichigo tightening his hand on his door knob as he looked over his body.

"Has your heat passed?" Grimmjow asked, Ichigo nodding stiffly. Grimmjow frowned, reaching a hand towards him. Ichigo took a step back, letting go of the door handle.

"I think I should leave, Grimmjow." Grimmjow's frown deepened, Ichigo realizing a little late that they were both still rather naked. He turned around, yelping when he was pulled into a hard chest. He turned his head away when Grimmjow kissed his neck, Ichigo hissing when he nipped the mark he had left behind.

"Why do you want to leave?" Grimmjow asked, Ichigo closing his eyes when he touched a hand to his torso. Ichigo felt like crying again, remembering that dream.

For so long he had denied Renji, the love of his life, that one wish, but when it came down to a man he believed he hated he gave in so easily?

This time Ichigo could not control himself, tears falling down his cheeks. Grimmjow noticed them, holding onto him tighter.

"Ichigo."

Ichigo turned around in his embrace, hugging him tightly as he broke down. Grimmjow held onto him, confused as to why he was crying. Ichigo shook against him, biting his lip so he wouldn't sob but unable to stop the onslaught of tears that fell down his face.

This was all his fault. Because he couldn't control himself. He let Grimmjow lead him back, falling down onto the bed and turning away from him when he leaned over him, covering his face. Grimmjow grabbed his wrist, pulling him onto his back.

"Ichigo, tell me why you're crying." Ichigo didn't want to, but having been a butler for so long habits died hard.

"This is all my fault," He whispered, Grimmjow frowning as he pulled his hands from his face. He pinned them to the bed, Ichigo keeping his eyes closed as he tried to control his tears. He couldn't though, all the control he had gone with the last of everything he had.

He started blabbering, throwing away the last of his dignity.

"I had thought this could be my punishment. I thought I could make up for all the things I had done." Grimmjow was confused, Ichigo taking in a sharp breath.

"I hated you for so long. I hated you for doing those things to me. I-I had wanted nothing else but to leave." Grimmjow's frown eased away as he listened, Ichigo weak beneath him. He had no more strength, no more pride, no more dignity. He was only a shell of what he had been.

"But then you changed. You became the man people wish for. I had wanted to believe, so badly I wanted too…" Grimmjow silently thanked Kenpachi for what he had told him, but even so he was still worried about Ichigo. He couldn't understand why sleeping with him was so bad that it made him cry, Ichigo taking another sharp breath and opening his eyes, looking into his.

"I gave in and had unprotected sex with you while in heat. Grimmjow, I don't want to have this baby." Grimmjow's brain clicked. His mouth fell open a little, his eyes staring down at him in slight disbelief. He could see why he was crying now.

A baby?

They weren't even married and he still had so many things he wanted to do. He wanted to smack himself for not having used a condom, Ichigo closing his eyes as he turned his head away.

Grimmjow didn't know what to say. He wasn't prepared to have kid, let alone having expected to have one with Ichigo. His first intentions were to fuck him then fire him, but after Kenpachi told him to do the complete opposite, Grimmjow had thought of making him a long term pet. But now there was a major obstacle. Master's never impregnated their pets. That was to be avoided at all costs. With the idea of a baby on the way, Grimmjow could hardly look at him like a pet anymore without being disgusted with himself.

What could he possibly do now with him?

He thought about just letting him go and having him raise the kid by himself, but the thought suddenly stopped. That was exactly what his mother had done to him. The disgusting whench gave birth to him and dropped him in his father's care merely because she hated him.

Did he really want to follow in her footsteps?

Grimmjow's expression slowly became one of understanding, Ichigo stiffening when he pressed his nose against his shoulder.

"How long before you give birth?" Grimmjow asked, Ichigo opening his eyes. He looked down to him, Grimmjow kissing his skin. Ichigo looked away, his eyes burning even more as a new tidal wave of tears threatened to overcome him.

"Nine weeks." Grimmjow let go of his wrists, sliding his hands up and entwining their fingers.

"Would you keep it if I stayed?"

Ichigo opened his eyes. He shivered when Grimmjow licked his flesh, kissing a trail up to his lips. Ichigo closed his eyes when he kissed him, his heart once again pounding in his chest. He didn't want to have the baby, he didn't know what to do. He had never expected this and wanted to just erase it, run away from it.

"Ichigo." He closed his eyes tighter when Grimmjow spoke his name, wanting to just pull away from him and run as far away as possible. He didn't want this, he wasn't prepared to be a mother any more than he was prepared to become Grimmjow's butler back then. He bit his lip, Grimmjow waiting for him to speak.

"You don't have to be my butler anymore. I'll pay you however much you want, you can live here and I can clean. We can get get married in America and we'll stay there if you want to."

Ichigo sobbed softly, Grimmjow leaning down and kissing his lips. Ichigo clenched his hands into fists, Grimmjow pulling away from the kiss and pressing his forehead against his.

Though he would have admitted it to no one, he always wanted a kid before he died. He wanted to give that kid a life he never could. He didn't want him to know about turning people into pets, the corruption he let himself be taken into. He wanted him to be a scholar or a famous author. He wanted to keep this baby so badly, wanted Ichigo to keep it so badly that he didn't realise how much until this moment.

"Say yes," he whispered against his cheek, Ichigo unclenching his fists as he became weak beneath him again.

If the man Grimmjow had become was true, if the man he had been was all a lie, Ichigo truly wanted to say yes to him. He wanted to wake up every morning and be brought breakfast, wanted to be spoiled like in the few memories he still had of his parents.

But he was afraid. He was afraid and this was one of those thing he truly knew he could never run away from. Even if he did abort it, the memory would still be there. Grimmjow kissed his neck, Ichigo opening his eyes when he whispered into his ear.

"I love you, Ichigo. Please." Ichigo wanted to push him away, wanted to yell at him that he could never understand what true love was. He wanted to slap him and storm out of the room, but at the same time hold him and kiss him, and say those words back.

But, he couldn't say them. Those words felt alien to him even though he had said them to Renji so many times, Ichigo closing his eyes when he kissed him again.

Could he really do it?

Did he really want to keep this baby?

Ichigo parted his lips when Grimmjow pulled away, panting softly as he opened his eyes.

"Please. Please stay." He hoped those words would be enough, Grimmjow seeming to understand as he kissed him again with everything he was. Ichigo got his wrists free, clinging to him.

Just this once, he would try.

Author's note: Lovey dovey I know, but hoped you liked it!