House and Wilson had been looking forward to preparing for the witness briefing over a leisurely breakfast the next morning, but it wasn't to be. House was still in the kitchen making coffee and Wilson was still showering when the doorbell rang. WTF? They hadn't even unlocked yet, so House went to open grunting and grumbling. "Yeah?" It was Jane Carver, their neighbour straight underneath. "Listen, I'm really sorry to burst in on you like that, but there's water coming through our ceiling." Oh fuck... Just the right time for it, too. Yes, Wilson had mentioned over and over again that the bathroom needed refurbishing, and he had over and over again ignored it, but broken pipes? For fuck's sake! "Right, sorry, I'll see to it." "Thanks!" She left. "Wilson! Skip your beauty regimen, the bathroom pipe has cracked!" "WHAT?" The shower was turned off immediately and Wilson gave a superb impression of shooting out of the bathroom, stark naked and dripping wet. "SHIT! House, how often have I told you..." "...that we have to get the bathroom done, yes. You were right. Happy now?" "Well guess what, I'm not! This could have all..." "...been avoided if I had let you go ahead with it years ago. Fine, it's all yours, get the phone and the yellow pages and find us a good bathroom guy!" "Seriously?" "Well, duh? Now we can't put it off any longer, unless you never want to wash again. And now at least wrap a towel around yourself, they can see your dick from across the road!" Wilson blushed and did as told. Making breakfast he began to warm to what had happened. "Great, now we have to get it done we might as well get it done well." "As in?" "Well, they'll have to tear out the tub to get at the leak anyway, right?" "Yeaaaaah..." House felt wary, that was beginning to sound suspiciously like a major change to his living environment. "So we can finally get a decent accessible shower installed, and..." "Oh God, it's started again!" "What has started again?" "I'm hearing voices, I could swear someone just used the words 'accessible shower' here!" "House, I hate to break the news to you, but neither of us is getting any more mobile." "Look, we have a seat and a grab handle. Perfectly fine, all anyone will ever need." "We don't know that! It's either go wheelchair accessible now, or running the risk of having to tear it all up again at some point. Or worse..." "Worse..." "...get care staff in." "Well as long as her rack is something to look at..." "House, for God's sake!" Hm yes... Wilson was unfortunately talking sense. House sighed. "Fine, have it your way. But then let's go the whole nine yards. You know these Jacuzzis with doors?" Wilson nodded. "I hear you. Only by the time we'll find one that's big enough for us AND small enough for the room the water will be through to the basement." "You don't know that. Now get the yellow pages and go on a reccy while I... Prepare my defence I guess."
The whole court case was absurd and would never have made it to court in any number of countries he could think of as far as House was concerned, and so he found it hard to concentrate on finding intelligent things to say about his part in it. Listening to Wilson shouting at various bathroom companies on the phone was far more amusing really. "So your biggest one is... Six by four, right... And comes in a corner version. Great... I need that in handicap accessible. Yes, wide door... Look, I did say handicap accessible! What did you think? Blind people can use regular Jacuzzis, y'know... So what you're really trying to say here is that the American sanitary industry is not ready for tall cripples yet. Well I know a 6'3" guy with special needs and money to spend who won't be happy to hear that." "Hey, we're going halves on this, just to make that clear!" "YOU are supposed to be thinking of something clever to say to save your ass instead of eavesdropping on me! Yes... Sorry... My life partner... Exactly... Well, here's the low-down, you find us a Jacuzzi made to our specs FAST and we'll give you a nice, juicy refurbishment contract. The main pipe is broken, so the whole place will have to be redone from the bottom up... To ADA-standards, only nicer... Ok, I'm expecting your call by tomorrow morning or we'll try somewhere else."
Wilson came out of the study looking triumphant. "It's amazing what you can achieve by mentioning the one little word 'money'." "Hm... We'll see about that tomorrow morning." "So what have you achieved in the mean time?" It was impossible to miss Wilson's mocking undercurrent. "Ok, yes. Absolutely nothing. The whole thing is totally absurd, how do you expect me to think of anything reasonable about it?" "I know, but the judge won't give a shit about that. You're the accused here, unfortunately." "I know..." House was actually, slowly but surely, beginning to worry. Wilson pulled over the piano stool for himself and sat down. "Well, you could certainly cite provocation." "And the prosecution will say any competent adult could have held back and argued their case." "Let's assume for our purpose that you're not a competent adult. You have a psychiatric history, you're hypersensitive, you have a mood disorder. Three excellent reasons for being easily provoked. And they were insulting me, so here we have a nice romantic twist." "Oh great, please let me off, I'm mad! There's got to be something better to say than that!" "Yeah, the second part of your sentence. We tried to not let it get to us, Foreman tried to reason with them, the police was called and talked to them, too - at some point the calmest, most stable guy on earth would do something stupid." "Yeah, now we're getting somewhere. And they had stepped up their campaign, involved Gina, then the sit-in. And had harassed us far more than we even knew about for three years." Great, they were beginning to get into it. House was feeling more confident again.
House was feeling more and more up and down about the court case. First he had been sure of a not-guilty verdict, after all he had not actually committed a sexual assault, just reacted to ongoing severe provocation of a distinctly non-sexual kind, but then of course juries were made up of people, and people had attitudes and had to be convinced and... And by now he did feel a little stupid about the whole thing, too. His mood was fluctuating accordingly and Wilson found himself alternately hugged and snapped at, which he took with a patience that House found alternately admirable and annoying. He tried to concentrate on the paper but couldn't. "For fuck's sake, will you stop rattling the dishes like that?" Wilson just cocked an eyebrow. "It's not the dishes, it's your mind. You're in overdrive, aren't you?" "No I'm not!" "Yes you are!" Wilson came out of the kitchen and joined him on the sofa. "And you can take off that fucking Jimmy Neutron apron, too!" "YOU gave me that!" "It was Danny's idea. He said Jimmy Neutron looked like our love child." Wilson inspected the cartoon character on his chest. "He does, actually." He chuckled. "Look..." An ironic sniffle. "He has your eyes..." House couldn't help but look. "Aaw, Jimmy!" House faked a lump in his throat. "He'll grow up to study medicine and become a much better doctor than each of us has ever been, right?" Wilson nodded solemnly. "He'll have your deductive powers and my bedside manner." "The Adventures of Dr James Neutron, MD - Bedpan Genius." Wilson snorted and found himself hugged again. He gently stroked House's back. "It'll be ok, honestly. You're right, no one in their right mind could convict you for this." "Only people usually aren't in their right minds..." "You have a good attorney and reliable witnesses." "We don't know if he's any good, actually... Or better than the Reverend's." "Stacy wouldn't have recommended a total dickhead, would she?" "No, probably not." House went to channel his worries into music before they could channel themselves into his leg. He took his beloved old Taylor acoustic from the wall and didn't even have to think about a song to sing, his fingers just fell onto the simple chords. "I've been loving you a long time..." He sang. "Down all they years, down all the days... And I've cried for all your troubles... Smiled at your funny little ways..." Wilson smiled at him. "Wow... Feels nice to be serenaded at two in the afternoon." House just smiled back and went on singing. He made a mental note to do that more often again, it really was doing him good.
Still, three songs later Wilson gently prodded him. "We better get changed into something respectable. The meeting's in an hour." "Plenty of time..." "Not with the amount of time it takes you to shave..." "Shave? Hey! I only shaved on Friday!" "Well, nearly time again then, isn't it? Witness briefings are the kind of occasion where you'd want to look respectable." "I'll look perfectly respectable. I've even ironed a shirt and a pair of chinos!" "Well... It's totally up to you..." Wilson's tone of voice made it perfectly clear that it really wasn't. "Alright alright alright..." House heaved himself up whining and moaning and went to shave. On the way to Adrian Gimignano's office he kept rubbing his uncommonly smooth chin, feeling awkward and naked. "House, that makes you look like you've got something to hide." "I know. See? Another reason why you shouldn't have made me shave!" "Get over it!" At the office everyone was already waiting for them, even though they were almost on time. Gina ran towards House and hugged him somewhere in the thigh area. "Hey, careful!" "But I AM. Just thought you might like a hug because of all that trouble." She sulked. Wilson ruffled her hair. "You know what he's like..." "Okaaaaay..." She went back to Rachel, who gave House a "Listen, I am perfectly able to withdraw my consent, buddy" Look. Eventually the attorney came out of his office. "Ah, everyone's here, great! To the meeting room over there, please." He turned to the receptionist. "Coffee for everyone I guess, and..." He looked at Gina. "What do you like?" "Pineapple juice!" Back to the receptionist. "Do we have pineapple juice?" "I don't think so. Will Coke do?" "Will Coke do, little lady?" "Ok..." Gina beamed at being called a lady.
It seemed forever until everyone had found themselves the right chair and settled down in the meeting room, like it always did. Adrian took his place among the great unwashed, not at the top of the table, and House wasn't sure if he liked him better for that or worse. "Right, could everyone introduce themselves, full names, please, and how you're related to Dr House." Wow... Ella Grace Rubin Kaminski sure sounded like a pain in the ass when when filling in forms. As did John Padhraic O'Sullivan - "Yeah, my Dad was real homesick" - to constantly spell out. House felt glad for a second that his Dad had declined his wife's bastard offspring the honour of a middle name. "Thanks, everyone. So can we have your stories?" Mrs Kaminski started. "Well, the Reverend moved it a little over three years ago, and I guess he noticed pretty soon that Dr House and Dr Wilson don't... subscribe to his ideas of right and wrong. First he just ignored them, didn't greet them in the lobby and all that. Now, I wouldn't be surprised at anyone not greeting Dr House, he's a loner, but Dr Wilson always has a smile and a good word for everyone, so seeing him purposefully ignored was strange. Then I started seeing him leave pamphlets for them, first under their windshield wipers..." "How did you know they were their wipers?" "Well, how many Volvos with handicap plates do you think usually park outside our building?" "Ok, yes, that's true." "Anyway, eventually he started coming upstairs and shoving them under their door. They showed me a couple of them, it's pretty horrific stuff, about Leviticus 18 and hell and suchlike. And he started sticking signs on their door, too, saying things like 'Sodomite's Den' - it had the apostrophe in the wrong place, I liked that - and 'Jew fags' and all that. The Jew fags one is not even factually correct, Dr House is a gentile. Anyway, I always peeled them off before they got to see them, to make sure they wouldn't get more stressed out by this than absolutely necessary." "Did you keep any of them?" "No, unfortunately. Officer McCarthy already asked me the same thing, but I tore them all up straight away, I don't want that stuff in the house." "Understandable. What happened next?" "Well, it stayed that way for a while, until the last time Gina here came to see them. She comes to stay the weekend every four weeks, you see, and I guess eventually the Reverend discerned the pattern and got his congregation to stage that picket. It wasn't nice, they had signs saying about the same thing he had already stuck to their door, and he preached about them dragging an innocent girl to hell. I think he told officer McCarthy they were abusing her, too." "Now what?" House interrupted. "Either we're sodomites or we're abusing little girls! How can we possibly do both?" "I don't think logic comes very high on his priority list", Adrian laughed. "And as you're sinners anyway, I guess he wouldn't trust you to stop at just sodomy, would he?" "Obviously not... Anyway, yes, he did allege such things, officer McCarthy told us." "Right, thanks. That might count as libel. Well, that is libel actually, so it might come in useful for us." Adrian scribbled it down. "Anyway, next please!" "Is that my turn, Mom?" "Yes, it is, honey. Oh, sorry, I nearly forgot!" Rachel passed the letter of consent to Adrian. Gina started telling her version of events, taking it all very seriously. "Uncle Greg was picking me up from school, and when we got home there were all these people there. He didn't seem to mind them, only I asked him what a Jew fag was, and then he was really shocked and told me I should never use that word, and that these were bad people. Then we got out of the car, and we were walking through the door, and they weren't making space for Uncle Greg. He can't walk properly, so you always have to make space for him when he comes, and they didn't. It was like they wanted him to fall. I was really scared for him. And the next day we went to the zoo with the Foremans, and when we came back they were all sitting in Grampa and uncle Greg's parking space and we had to park fifty yards down the road and go back up because they wouldn't move." "I tried to reason with them", Foreman butted in. "But it was absolutely pointless." "Ok, Dr Foreman, thanks for that. You'll have to elaborate a bit when we come to you. What happened then, Gina?" "We went to McDonald's on Sunday, and they were still there, and the Reverend was preaching again." "Leviticus 18", Wilson furnished. "And uncle Greg heard that and got really mad and went and kissed the Reverend." "And that's exactly what you saw?" "Yes", Gina nodded vigorously. "Thanks, well done!"
Next in line for the witness accounts was Wilson. He thought for a moment before he started his story. "Do you want the three years of harassment again, from my perspective? Or is Mrs Kaminski's account good enough?" "I'd like it from your perspective, please. It seems she's seen more alright, but we need to know how it made you feel." "Well, in one word, annoyed. That was really it, all these pamphlets were too ridiculous to really engage with and being ignored in the lobby only hurts if the person you're being ignored by actually means anything to you. We could have happily lived out our lives without ever confronting him if it hadn't been for the picket." "And how did that make you change your attitude?" "In lots of ways. For starters, that way they involved everyone in the building in the conflict, and the neighbourhood, too, simply by being there, standing in people's way, making noise and so on. Then they were obviously not too fussed about people's safety. Dr House will strangle me for saying this when we get home, but he isn't steady on his feet and I worry when he gets stuck in a crowd that won't do him the basic courtesy of letting him through. Finally, we could have probably even put up with that in some way or other if they hadn't involved Gina." "So that's really the crunch point." Wilson nodded: "Yes, definitely. She shouldn't have to deal with that kind of thing at her age, and it affected her badly." "No it didn't!" Gina pouted. Wilson gave her a smile. "Yes, it did, and no one will think you're a baby if you admit to it, ok?" "Honestly?" "Promise!" "So what did it do to you, Gina?" Adrian asked. "It gave me a horrible dream. I dreamt these people had taken me away and were saying mean things about Mom and grandma and stuff, and were showing me one of those plays where you see what hell looks like." "She came into our bedroom crying that night", Wilson reported. "Wouldn't calm down till we let her crawl into bed with us. And that brings us to the next point - the Reverend alleged to the police that we... indulge in inappropriate behaviour with Gina." Adrian hesitated a little before he asked the next question. "And inappropriate behaviour would be?" "Well, what Mrs Kaminski already said, abusing her." Adrian took a note. "I grant you that's one hell of an allegation to put up with. So what exactly happened once they had started picketing your building?" "Dr House was out picking up Gina from school when I first noticed, and I tried to ignore it for a couple of minutes. Only they were too loud for me to do that, so I created my own counter noise - the gayest I could think of because they had really started to annoy me at that point." "What was that?" Wilson gave his sheepish little smile, making House want to kiss him very much. "Ethel Merman's greatest hits. I sat down on the balcony with the music and a bottle of chilled chardonnay. They want Jew fag, I'll give them Jew fag!" A chuckle went around the table. "And did they react?" "Not really. Pity, isn't it? Anyway, when Dr House and Gina came in we decided together that we were gonna try our best to ignore them, but unfortunately that wasn't possible. The police was called on them the next morning, not by us but by the janitor's family, the Garrisons. They live on the ground floor so they must have had most of the noise. They sent round officer McCarthy who, it seems, tried to reason with the Reverend but didn't succeed. Then he came to interview us and I think came away with the impression that we weren't the problem." "Ok, what happened next?" "We went to the zoo with Gina and the Foremans, and on our return had the first real confrontation because they had staged that sit-in in our parking space Dr Foreman already mentioned." "What did you do?" "Parked 50 yards up the road, anything else could have been construed as aggression by them." "True. That must have been difficult for you, Dr House..." "It would have been if I hadn't been using a wheelchair that day anyway." "And did they know that?" "As they had seen us leave I'd say so." "Do you think they'd have done the same if you'd been walking?" "Absolutely, they'd already proven they didn't give a shit about my well-being. And anyway, I did have to make my way back up the fifty yards on foot the next day, thanks to them." "Ok. Dr Wilson, what happened next?" "We went back in, again being pushed and shoved from all sides. Then later, during the night, Dr House had a bad pain attack." "Meaning?" "That he suffers from chronic pain in his injured leg. It gets worse when he's under stress, and that night it was so bad it woke him up. His face was grey. I hadn't seen him so bad in years. And it took... House how long did it take for your pain levels to get back to normal?" House shrugged. "Two or three days I guess. At least I went back to my regular amount of meds on Tuesday night. Can't really judge, though, because I was on all kinds of stuff on Monday" Adrian interrupted, obviously looking for confirmation: "So that means you were painfree then." House gave him a puzzled look. "If I meant that I'd have said it. I've been painfree twice since I was 40, once for three months after an experimental treatment and once for about a week when I tried methadone. All the usual treatment does is bring the pain down from excruciating to just about bearable." "So essentially you're in pain 24/7 and worsening pain levels are a symptom of emotional stress." "Yes." "By the way, what is it I hear about methadone there?" "I'm an addict, Vicodin mostly. I haven't taken anything for ten years now but I could never say with certainty I'm off it for good." Adrian jotted that down. "Is there anything else I should know about your mental state to make our case?" "Depends. Do you think it'll make a difference?" "Well, you tell me and I'll tell you." "Fine. Undiagnosed mood disorder with a tendency towards moderate to severe depression, manageable with Lamictal. History of addiction to prescription narcotics. Several accidental overdoses, last one about six months ago with Valium, all the other ones with narcotics. Abused during childhood. Difficulty with expressing emotion verbally, hence the tendency for stress to present as physical pain. One episode of acute psychosis when I was about fifty so I ended up in Mayfield." "The mental hospital?" "Yes. Anyway, that was to do with not being able to talk about things, too. Difficulty connecting with people... And probably post-traumatic stress. And I guess being in pain all the time doesn't help. Is there anything more you need?" Adrian whistled admiringly. "I don't think so, that'll either get you free or committed for life. Actually, I think our case would profit from getting you psychologically assessed by a court-approved expert." House rolled his eyes. "Can't you just use my medical records?" "No, the court wants them signed and stamped by one of their guys, you see." "Right... Just make an appointment for me. Don't worry, I'll be there. Anyway, Dr Wilson wasn't finished." "Indeed not. So what happened on Sunday?" "Well, more of them same really. Only this time when we were trying to get through the crowd again, the Reverend was preaching about Leviticus 18, and Dr House got so angry he went ahead and did what he did." "Most people would punch or kick their enemy then. Why do you think he chose to kiss him?" "Well, apart from the fact that he's physically unable to kick people, it just wouldn't be his style. We're pretty much the same in that, so I guess they wanted gay, he gave them gay. We went to McDonald's with Gina then, and when we got back officer McCarthy was already there to question us. And after we had taken Gina to school on Monday morning, just as we had thought right from the start, they were gone." "Ok, so that was everything from Friday to Monday. So, Dr House, why did it take you till Wednesday to call me and till Friday to meet up? Quite some timeframe for someone who wants a charge off their back." "We needed Monday to calm down from the weekend..." "... And the rest of the week was kind of my fault I guess" Wilson piped up. House narrowed his eyes. "How the hell was that your fault?" "Fine, so it wasn't. Thanks for absolving me. There was... An illness in my family. We had to look after someone till Friday." "Ok. Next please. What did you see, Mr O'Sullivan?" "Um... Just the kiss really. I was just coming back from the convenience store on the corner with some coke and popcorn, was gonna watch a movie with my roomie. I saw Dr House and Dr Wilson battling their way through the crowd and was wondering if they needed help and if I should run up. It all looked pretty scary from where I was standing, and the stuff the Reverend was saying and their placards and all... It must have all been pretty tough for them to take, and it looked kinda dangerous, too. They're both not great on their feet since Dr Wilson had the brain haemorrhage. Anyway, next thing I saw Dr House was shooting through the crowd and frenching the Reverend." "Shooting?" "Well, yeah, by his standards anyway. I don't know how he does it, must have to do with stress or something, but he can be pretty fast when he's pissed off." "Adrenaline is an amazingly powerful analgesic..." "So would you say he was provoked, Mr O'Sullivan?" "Definitely!" "And what happened then?" "Not much... Everyone seemed kinda stunned, Dr House and Dr Wilson and Gina went to the car and I went in."
Foreman was next to give his version of events. "Well, I only really saw five minutes of the whole thing", he started. "But they were quite significant, weren't they?" Adrian encouraged him. "I guess so. I'd known about the pamphlets and all, and Dr House had hinted that the situation had escalated while we were at the zoo, but actually seeing these guys in action was something else again. They were having that sit-in in the handicap space, which was bizarre in itself, and illegal. When I noticed what was happening I went to the Reverend and tried to reason with him as a fellow Christian, from whatever little common ground I have with him. Only he wouldn't even listen, just kept spurting his phrases..." "Which phrases?" "The usual suspects, all about fire and brimstone and Leviticus 18. Anyway, I tried for a couple of minutes but ended up getting pretty frustrated. We all went in then and tried to ignore them." "There was also that thing about the dignified protest", Wilson reminded him. "Oh yeah, of course. I told them they should go home before the cops made them, and the Reverend replied should the police try to remove them they'd continue their protest in a dignified and peaceful way or something. That was wrong on so many levels..." Adrian chuckled: "Interesting take on civil disobedience. I don't think it's what Dr King would have wanted, though." "Definitely not, his vision was inclusive. So... We went inside then and managed to ignore them quite well for the rest of the day. By the time I left they had vacated the parking space and were by and large behaving themselves, so I guess someone had called the police in the mean time, I don't know who, though." "That was Mrs Garrison", Jack said. "I heard her talking to the officer in the lobby." "Who is Mrs Garrison?" "The janitor's wife, they live on the ground floor", Wilson explained. "Nice woman." "Do you think she's seen much of this whole thing?" Adrian asked. "Probably not, except for the generally annoying aspect. Anyway, she's a busy woman. Unless..." House had an idea what he was up to. "No, she wouldn't be a good witness. I don't think she saw any of the key events." Adrian thought for a moment. "Ok... What if you got her as a character witness?" House snorted. "I would if I was of good character to start with..." "Huh?" "There's a shitload of dirt in my past, I don't want people to get ideas about digging any of it up." "Serious dirt?" "Well, sometimes I wonder how I usually managed to get away with it all at any rate." "Usually?" "I spent about a year in jail after doing something really stupid to Gina's grandma about thirty years ago. And I could have got unlucky another time..." He really didn't want to go into the finer details of the Tritter thing, particularly not Cuddy perjuring herself in his interest. Adrian, however, cocked an eyebrow anyway. "That must have been some stupid thing to land you in jail for a year. Here's hoping it wasn't of a sexu…" Rachel interrupted him: "It wasn't of a sexual nature. He drove his car through the living room wall after Mom dumped him. I was three. My first memory..." She pulled a face. "Thanks so much, House…" "Well I did apologise… Eventually…" "Eventually as in five years later. Anyway, it's all water under the bridge now." She gave him a wry smile. Gina looked horrorstruck: "You did WHAT?" "Something very very stupid, I said, didn't I?" "You could have killed grandma and Mom!" She was utterly indignant. "No, I made sure they weren't in the room first. I just wanted Cuddy to realise what she'd done to me." "Ever heard of talking to people?" "Yeah, I'm just not very good at it. You knew that, didn't you? Look, honestly, I know it wasn't the right thing to do, that's why I apologised." "You dumbass!" "Gina, you're not supposed to say words like that!" House shrugged: "Well, you can't deny that she has a point." He stretched his hand out for Gina to shake. "Friends?" She thought for a moment and then took it. "Ok. But you're still a dumbass." "I know…" Adrian went back to business: "Well, there's another one for the psych evalutation. And you're right, using character witnesses with that lurking in the shadows would be a bad move. Anyway, I guess we have quite enough tangible evidence round the table here to make it clear that you were acting under extreme provocation. So... I'll do some writing up now, and you good people are all free to go. I suggest you buy them all a drink, Dr House, and you'd better go to a place that serves pineapple juice, too." Gina grinned and nodded fervently. "Ok, we will", House told her, and they made their way out.
They did indeed find a place that served pineapple juice, and it was reasonably nice, too, a pizza parlour where the air was thick with the smells of garlic and freshly grated cheese. It had tables outside and a list of cheap and cheerful wines that looked very inviting indeed, and so they ended up spreading out a couple of bottles of Montepulciano until the sky turned red and Gina started yawning. "Bed time, sweetie!" Rachel decided, already getting up. "But I'm not tired!" "We'll see about that. And tomorrow is a school day, so it's time to go." "Just another slice of cassata, please? Grampa, I don't look tired, do I?" She yawned again. "Yes you do. I'll make cassata for you the next time you come, ok?" "Honestly? Promise?" "Promise. And you can help me if you want." "Oh yes! And uncle Greg can have some, too, if he's nice, right?" "And if I'm naughty I'll help myself from the freezer anyway..." "Surprisingly enough, we already knew that. Night, Gina, sweet dreams." Wilson hugged her good-bye. "Night Grampa, night Uncle Greg. Thanks for the pizza!" "Thanks for saving my ass... Hopefully." "Night, everyone!" Rachel gave Gina an encouraging little shove and they left. The rest shared out the last half a bottle of wine between them and then everyone went home.
House didn't feel at all like letting real life catch up with them immediately upon their return. "Is there still an open bottle around?" "Yeah, but that's only good for gravy now. Anyway, are you sure you should have more? You've almost exhausted your quota for the week." "Oh thanks, that was exactly what I needed to be told now. Nothing like a good kick in the nads for bringing people back to earth, huh? Great way you have of doing that!" "I don't, life does." "Wilson, well of wisdom..." "I'm sorry, House." "It's ok..." He accepted a short squeeze from Wilson and pulled on the headphones instead, letting Miles Davis's detached passion act as a parachute while Wilson immersed himself in the latest goings on from south of the border. House found the pictures of high drama and sobbing Chicanas rather distracting. "Which one's that? Todo por Amor or Amor Todo lo Vence?" "El Amor Prevalezca, it's a new one, about that totally hot Swedish au-pair and..." The words 'totally hot Swedish au-pair' were enough. House joined his beloved on the sofa with astonishing speed. After all, they had never actually forsaken the female form divine, had they? They sat huddled up together, commenting on the various female protagonists' physical merits and House felt like he didn't have a care in the world.