"Kenzie?... Kenzie!" Gunner cried, eyes wild, reaching out to touch Kenzie's face.
Amelia's head snapped up. "Get him out of here!"
Two nurses suddenly appeared at Gunner's side, and pulled him to his feet. His fingers trailed off Kenzie's cheek and he moaned in distress. The nurses pushed and pulled him to the door, and, in shock, Gunner let them without struggling. He turned to watch Kenzie as the nurses bundled him out of the door with pleas to 'please, Mr. Jensen, give them room to work' and saw the medical staff swarming her. They parted enough for Gunner to see one nurse tilt Kenzie's head back and place an oxygen mask over her face, begin squeezing the bag attached to it. The staff yelled instructions and Kenzie's stats to each other and their babies' cries turned to screams. The door swung shut and Gunner looked desperately through the glass window. A flash of bright red caught his eye and Gunner looked down to see a river of blood pooling at Amelia's feet. He felt his gorge rise and turned away, panting in distress. His heart hammered in his chest and he staggered away from the door.
Without conscious intent, his thoughts trapped back in that chaotic room with his soul mate, Gunner stumbled down the hallway.
The crew was still in the waiting room, laughing and in high spirits, excited to hear about the twins. Some furious last minute pool guesses where thrown out and roundly rejected, as the babies birth date was now glaringly obvious. Barney was the first to look over and see Gunner coming towards them, and alerted the rest, who began calling out to him, asking for details and shouting congratulations. The shouting faltered and then stopped as the team saw that Gunner was lurching down the hallway, staggering, his hand sliding along the wall for balance. Barney and Lee leapt to their feet and were instantly at Gunner's side, the crew holding back, watching anxiously.
"Gunner? What happened?" Barney asked, his voice tight with concern.
"Kenzie...she started bleeding." Gunner mumbled. He swayed on his feet, his skin grey.
Looking around briefly, Barney spotted a set of chairs and began guiding Gunner towards them, pulling on one arm. Lee grabbed the other arm and helped Gunner sit down. They dropped down in the chairs on either side of him.
"Gunner... Gunner! Are the babies okay?" Barney asked, shaking Gunner's shoulder.
Gunner nodded, swallowed hard. "Yeah," he croaked. "They're fine. This happened after...oh, Jesus, the blood - "
"Gunner!" Barney barked, trying to snap him out of his shock. "What did she have?"
Gunner swallowed again, shook his head to clear it. He rested his elbows on his knees and clasped his hands together, leaned his head forward, his bangs damp with sweat and hanging off his forehead. "Kenz had, uh... a boy... and then a little girl."
Barney clapped Gunner on the back. "Think of them, Gunner, keep it together for them."
Gunner nodded, wiped at his eyes. He didn't raise his head. "Lee?" He asked lowly.
Lee leaned down closer. "Yeah?"
"Can you tell the others... about Kenzie...and the twins? I... can't."
"Of course, brother." Standing, Lee leaned down again and pressed a quick kiss to the top of Gunner's head, patted his hair gently. He turned and strode over to the team. They circled around him, faces drawn in concern. They smiled briefly as Lee told them about the babies, but their faces fell as he continued.
Barney rubbed Gunner's shoulder and leaned down. "Kenzie is going to make it, Gunner. You guys have been through too much for it to end now."
Gunner swallowed hard and nodded. He turned his head and Barney shivered at the grief in his eyes. He looked utterly lost and Barney realized with absolute certainty that if Kenzie died now, if the fates were that cruel and sadistic, then Gunner would follow her, wither and die, his spirit broken, within days, not even the twins would be able to keep him here. His heart and soul were irrevocably tied to Kenzie and where she went, he had to follow.
"Mr. Jensen?"
Barney and Gunner's heads snapped up towards the voice. A nurse was walking quickly towards them. Gunner leapt to his feet, Barney right behind him.
"My wife? How is she?" Gunner asked desperately.
"I'm sorry, sir. I don't know, I'm assigned to your babies."
Gunner sagged in sorrow, but straightened quickly and cleared his throat. "How are they?"
"They're doing very well. I came over to ask you if you wanted to see them for a minute before we take them up to the NICU. It's just for observation, we don't anticipate them having to stay there long. They're both breathing well and are quite active."
"Yeah, I do...can Barney come too?"
The nurse nodded, her face drawn with sympathy. She had been in that delivery room too. "Do you have a camera? To show the others?" She nodded her chin in the direction of the team.
Barney patted his chest pocket. "Yeah, my phone."
"Alright, come with me please." The nurse turned and started down the hallway, the two men following.
After a few turns down various hallways, the nurse led Gunner and Barney into a room. Two incubators were set up, one baby in each. Another nurse was standing between them, writing in a chart. She looked up as they entered and gave a small smile, she too had been in the delivery room. She gestured to the incubators.
"They're doing well, Mr. Jensen." She reached over and opened the side of one. "You can talk to them through here, and touch them. You just can't hold them yet."
Gunner nodded and turned to the closer incubator. Inside was his son, wearing a little blue cap. He was asleep, sucking contentedly on a tiny fist. Gunner reached in a hand, a hand that was a large as the baby it was reaching for, and gently stroked his finger down his son's small arm. "Hey buddy." He murmured. The baby's forehead furrowed a moment, but he didn't wake. After a second, Gunner pulled his hand back out and straightened, he glanced back at Barney with a small encouraging smile and Barney nodded, moving over to see for himself, pulling out his phone. Gunner turned to the other incubator and, opening the flap, reached in to touch his daughter. She lay wide awake, kicking her arms and legs. As Gunner touched her arm and spoke 'hey little girl', she turned her head to him and cooed. A wide smile broke over Gunner's face and he stood back up, turning to look at Barney. Barney smiled back and moved closer to see her for himself and take a picture for the team.
After taking a picture Barney turned and stood beside Gunner, who had moved back beside his son and was murmuring to him. The little boy had woken up and was gazing around him in curiosity. Gunner stood back up straight and turned to Barney, elation warring with anguish in his eyes.
"They're beautiful, Gunner." Barney smiled.
"They are, aren't they?" Gunner mused, his gaze drawn again to the incubators. His daughter was cooing loudly and still kicking, swinging her little arms around. With an apologetic look, the nurse stepped back over.
"I'm sorry, Mr. Jensen. I need to take them up now."
Gunner nodded and stepped back. The two nurses wheeled the incubators out of the room and, after a long pause, Gunner took a deep breath and turned to Barney. The elation was fading rapidly and that haunted grief-stricken look was creeping back in. Barney reached out and rested his hand on Gunner's shoulder. He didn't say anything, just met Gunner's gaze and squeezed his shoulder. Gunner drew a deep breath and sighed.
"Barn, if -"
"No." Barney interrupted. "Don't even go there yet."
Gunner met Barney's eyes and a single tear streaked down his cheek. He nodded.
"You want to head back?"
Gunner dropped his head, and after a moment, shook it. "I can't. I just need to be somewhere...by myself."
Barney nodded. "Okay, I'll come check on you later." He walked with Gunner back to the room Kenzie had spent her labour in. Her pillow was still skewed on the hospital bed and her overnight bag was still on the chair.
With a final pat on the shoulder, Barney left Gunner and returned to the waiting room where the team was. The crew was milling around aimlessly, joy over the twin's birth warring with worry over Kenzie.
"You guys can probably head on home, I'll call when I know more."
The team nodded and filed silently out. Lee remained in his chair and Barney sat down beside him.
"Gunner okay?" Lee asked quietly.
"No. You?"
Lee shook his head. Although he hid it better, Lee was as devastated as Gunner, this was his baby sister's life in danger. "No."
Gunner looked around the room before lifting off Kenzie's overnight bag, setting it on the floor and sitting heavily down in the chair. He rested his head in his hands and drew a shuddering breath.
Gunner's thoughts trailed back to the first time he's ever seen Kenzie. She'd been in town for one night and had tracked down her brother to the team's favourite bar. Gunner had looked up from his beer and seen the most beautiful woman he'd ever laid eyes on walking towards them. His body had instantly responded, but, more importantly, his heart had awakened.
To do the job the Expendables did and survive, you had to close off your heart. At any moment, any one of these men you trusted with your life could be killed or wounded critically, and feelings just got in the way on a battlefield. Once the mission was over however, if everyone survived, then you could open your heart again, laugh and joke and live with these men that trust you with their lives and you trust with yours. It was a constant emotional rollercoaster, and some of the men were able to ride it better than others.
Gunner had constantly been in danger of drowning, treading water non-stop, fighting to keep his head above the water, growing more and more exhausted as the years went on. The drugs had helped at first, given him the energy to swim, but gradually they'd become a lead vest weighing him down, nearly killing him, Yang and Barney in that hellish warehouse. Shame had given Gunner the ammunition to fight back for awhile after that, shame and a desperate desire not to lose the only family he had; he'd pushed his blood family away, and some weren't even sure if he was still alive. But Gunner had been growing tired again, shame only dragging him so far, and Kenzie's appearance in his life had been equivalent of a miracle.
From the moment Gunner had seen Kenzie, something inside him had woken up, shaking its head in the light of day, something that had been sleeping for years, if it had ever really been awake. Gunner had felt this strange new desire to just live, instead of careening haphazardly from job to job, reacting (usually badly) to situations. Their first desperate, passionate encounter in Kenzie's hotel room had been the best Gunner had ever had, and had given him the strength to continue, if only to see Kenzie again. When they'd met again, some weeks later, and he'd learned that Kenzie had given up her career and life in Manhattan to come down to New Orleans, Gunner had been stunned, stunned that this angel was still going to be a part of his life, had chosen him to be with. He worked and tried hard every day to deserve her love and make her proud of him.
When Gunner had thought he'd lost Kenzie in Brazil, when he'd watched her go limp in his arms in the slaughterhouse and then held her lifeless body on that desolate plane ride back, he had completely lost his will to live. If Kenzie hadn't turned out alive, Gunner would've kept himself living only long enough to see her buried right. He'd stayed by her side through her entire coma, had waited through the agonizing months of her recovery, wept with relief when she'd recovered and returned to him.
When Kenzie had accepted his marriage proposal he'd thought he'd never be happier than that moment, but when Kenzie had come to him the night before their wedding with two little plastic sticks showing positive signs, Gunner had found new levels to his elation. To become not only Kenzie's husband, but the father of her children; Gunner could think of nothing better. A small part of his mind told him he didn't deserve this, that this much bliss would come with a price, but Gunner had been willing to pay anything to keep Kenzie; and now, in a cruel irony, losing Kenzie now may have been the price all along.
A sharp pain lodged itself in Gunner's chest and he found it difficult to breathe, his vision swam with tears. As horrible as it sounded, Barney had read the grief in his eyes correctly, if Kenzie left him, Gunner would follow, not even the twins would keep him here on this barren Earth; heaven help him, he was too weak to stay without his other half. The black days and nights would overwhelm him, drag him down and leave him a wrecked shell of a man. Gunner drew a deep, shuddering breath, pushed shaking fingers through his sweat-dampened hair.
"Gunner?"
Gunner raised his head. Amelia stood in the doorway.