A/N: Ok so here it is. I was a bit nervous about posting this one because it's basically a verbal chapter with not a lot of action. I am really interested in what you think of it, hopefully it wasn't too boring. I just wanted to explore the characters a bit more (something that is hard to do when writing solely from Bella's point of view). Anyway, here it is!

I don't own Twilight etc etc

End of Last Chapter:

Esme came to sit with me and absentmindedly rubbed the length of my arms in a motherly gesture.

"Esme?" I asked.

"Yes Bella?" she replied, fixing her warm and loving eyes on mine.

"Did you really miss me?" My voice was far more vulnerable and shaky than I would have liked it to have been.

"You have no idea" she said, cupping my face in her hands.

"Did....did he miss me?" I continued, sounding like a little girl desperate for reassurance.

"You have no idea" she murmured and then pulled me close into her arms.

We sat like that in silence for the remainder of the wait.

I felt loved.

I felt protected.

I felt home.

Chapter Ten

I was disappointed as Jacob's rabbit eased up the driveway to take me home. It had seemed like only seconds ago that he had left and I was reluctant to leave the comfortable tenderness of Esme's company. I was even more reluctant to go play 'normal human' with Charlie and Logan with everything that was unfolding around me.

Jacob extended his massive frame out of the car and leaned across its roof looking a million times more confident than he had earlier in the house.

"You ready Bella?" he asked.

I gave a small and hesitant nod in return. The truth be told, I was terrified. Even though presently the Cullen's and the pack could offer me only limited protection, it was scary to think I would soon be solely in the company of completely helpless humans.

Carlisle was right though, Charlie wouldn't tolerate my scattered and erratic behaviour for much longer and if I didn't try to appease his concerns now he may end up confining me to the house indefinitely. If that happened I knew I would go into frenzy like a caged animal, terrified and trapped within the comfort of my own home.

"We're never leaving your side remember" Alice whispered in my ear as I got into the car.

"I love you Alice" I whispered back kissing her on the cheek.

She smiled in return and blew me a kiss as we drove away from the house.

"Can't wait to get out there and kick some vampire ass!" Jacob said excitedly as we were heading home.

I looked at him and immediately felt concerned.

Although he was the height and strength of someone much older, he was still only a 16 year old boy. His face may sometimes appear confident and wise, but underneath all the gifts being a werewolf gave to him he was still the sweet and innocent Jacob Black that I had grown to love with all my heart. It made me sick to think of him setting off eagerly to take on a woman who had been a sadistic and dangerous murderer for god knows how long. Although Jacob may come close to matching her in strength, he had decades to go before he would be able to match her in experience or lethality and I prayed he would never match her in the amount of evil that resided in her heart. That evilness, more than anything else, made her the most formidable enemy...if there was nothing that you wouldn't do, the territory of your cruelty would be limitless.

"Bella, would you stop looking so serious all the time! You're going to give yourself premature wrinkles!" Jacob joked.

"Just be careful Jake" I said quietly "You don't know what she's capable of. She's a complete monster and your...well, you're not"

Jacob shook his head "What would you do to protect the ones you love Bella? How strong and determined would you be if someone you loved was threatened? Don't underestimate me Bella. I may seem naive, but believe me when I say I am deadly serious about ripping Victoria to shreds"

I shuddered at the tone in Jacob's voice. It was dark and desolate. Looking at his tightly clenched square jaw and strong muscular hands gripping the steering wheel I was struck by the fear that to catch a monster one might need to become one.

"Please remember who you are Jacob. You are not a monster like her"

Jacob pondered my statement for a little while before offering a reply.

"I'm doing this to save a life Bella, not take one. There's a big difference there"

"I know. I'm just really afraid Jacob" I sighed clenching my eyes tightly shut.

"Don't be Bella, like I said, with Victoria's friend gone..."

"No Jake" I interrupted "I'm afraid that what I'm asking of you will change you. That, when all this is over, I won't see my Jacob...that you will be different"

Jacob shot me a look out of the corner of his eye and smiled.

"Bella, you liked me as a dorky 15 year old. You liked me as a broody newly-made werewolf. You like me now as the glorious beast that I am" he said, laughing at his last statement "So why won't you like me after all this is over?"

He was right. He had changed so much since I had first returned to Forks. My soul recognised the essence of him even when everything else about him had changed. My soul would always find my Jacob Black, of that I was almost certain.

"Besides" Jacob continued, reaching over to mess up my hair for the second time today "I'm so fantastic that you couldn't stop loving me if you tried!"

I was still smiling at his last comment when he muttered quietly "and if you stopped loving me, I'll travel the ends of the earth to find a way to make you love me again"

I was taken back by the seriousness and passion of his last statement and I realised I had been underestimating Jacob all this time. Although he may be young, he had an old soul and a wise head on his shoulders. He was an extraordinary individual and that was why we had forged such a strong and deep friendship to begin with.

"I was stupid to worry Jacob" I said reassuringly "Who you are is beautiful and limitless. How could I ever think something as revolting as Victoria could taint that?"

"You've made a few bad calls in the last year" Jacob retorted with a sly smile "So what's one more?"

I gave him a small playful punch on the shoulder and looked up just in time to see we were outside my house.

Charlie's cruiser wasn't in the driveway, but the lights were on.

Entering the house we struck by the most horrific smell. The best way to describe it was burnt flesh and plastic mixed with cleaning product.

My heart started to beat frantically with fear.

"What's that smell?" I whispered to Jacob grabbing his hand.

"That smell" Logan's voice yelled from the kitchen "is dinner"

Jacob and I exchanged an amused look and walked in to the kitchen to see Logan wearing an apron and gloves, prodding at something in the sink I assumed would once have been a living creature, but was now a stinking black mound.

"What is that?" I asked laughing.

"A roast chicken?" Logan replied with a comical look on his face.

"I don't believe you" Jacob said shaking his head "That thing could never have originated from this planet!"

"Believe it my friend" Logan laughed back "Charlie has been fielding calls from frightened little old ladies hearing murderers in their house all day. He's down at some poor old ditties as we speak, checking her attic for bloodthirsty monsters, so I thought I'd do something nice for you guys and cook dinner"

"Do you hate us that much" I giggled, joining Logan at the sink to stare in wonderment at the creation lying there.

"Well...it was frozen so I decided to crank up the oven to cook it faster"

"How high did you crank it up?" I asked, wondering how on earth his attempt at cooking could have gone so horribly wrong.

"As far as it can go" Logan replied.

"Makes sense I suppose" I played along "But what's that smell?"

Logan looked sheepishly back down at the poor bird "I forgot to take the plastic off it first"

"Yeah, that one gets even the best of chefs so I'm told" I teased and the room was filled with the sweet and foreign sound of laughter.

"Let me see what's in the cupboards" I said with a smile.

"No need" Logan replied "Charlie's bringing home food from the diner. And he's given me strict instructions never to enter the kitchen again!"

"Wise man" Jacob chuckled.

"Did you boys have fun in the Cadillac today?" I asked, remembering my earlier discussion with Logan.

"Naw" he replied disappointed "Charlie was so busy with frightened old ladies that we didn't get time. Tomorrow first thing we've got a date with the open road though"

"Just remember to keep your hands to yourself! Last time I saw you, you were all over it!" Jacob teased and once again we fell into easy laughter.

Just like last night, we found ourselves slipping into light and enjoyable chatter despite the issues that were swirling around us. Every now and then I caught Jacob looking out the window with a serious look on his face, but he seemed for the most part to be having fun around Logan. It was hard not to. Once you got past the shy and nervous exterior, he was extremely funny and exceptionally warm.

Once Charlie got home with dinner, Jacob made a hasty exit. I wanted so badly to hug him and plead with him to be careful, but didn't want to draw suspicion. I settled for an exchange of knowing looks and a caring smile.

"Soooo" Charlie drawled between mouthfuls of dinner "What are you two up to this evening, any plans?"

He looked directly at me and I knew that this was his subtle way of asking whether I had any plans to run off mysteriously again to the Cullen's. Charlie may not like to pry into my life too much, but I knew I had been pushing his limits of tolerance. I could only imagine how curious and probably infuriating my behaviour had seemed to him lately.

"No plans" I muttered.

"Good" Charlie said abruptly, leaning back in his chair and wiping his mouth with a napkin "A nice quiet finish to the weekend is what we all need I think"

I caught Logan's eye and saw that this unspoken discussion between Charlie and I had not gone unnoticed.

"Charlie" He spoke up "Are you still keen to take a spin in the Cadillac tomorrow morning?"

I silently thanked him for shifting the topic and he smiled in return.

"You bet" Charlie said while stretching his arms and yawning violently "Wouldn't miss it for the world. But for now, I think I need to hit the hay. You kids ok to clean up?"

"If I'm allowed in the kitchen" Logan joked.

"Hmmm" Charlie said thoughtfully while heading to his room "Bella, don't take your eyes off him for a second! I thought I had my hands full with you, but this one...." he let his sentence trail off as he headed off for a well-deserved and extremely needed rest.

"So" Logan said hesitantly as we were doing the dishes "How are you?"

"I'm fine" I said weakly. There were so many different possible answers to his question and I didn't know which one he wanted to hear.

"Ok" he said quietly.

I had offended him with my reluctance to talk and I immediately felt bad. If I could, I would tell Logan everything right now. I so wanted to share with someone who didn't have any hidden agendas or deadly secrets, but it was impossible.

"Well" I began, not knowing where this conversation would lead me "Things are pretty weird, but I'm trying my hardest to cope"

"You don't have to tell me anything Bella, I'm not offended if you would rather not" Logan replied.

"Thank you Logan, it's just that it's really very complicated and to tell you the truth a lot of it is not my story to tell"

Logan stopped washing and turned to look at me. As our eyes locked I felt something unexpected. A spark, a flash of something. I didn't know what it was and I could of just been reading more into it because of what Emmett had revealed earlier, but nonetheless my heart started to beat a little faster than it had just before.

"I'm only interested in how you are Bella" Logan said seriously, staring intensely into my eyes "That may or may not involve an explanation of why you are feeling that way, but it makes no matter to me. All I see is a fantastic girl who seems to be so worried and stressed, and it really hurts to see that. You don't owe many explanations or stories, I'm just offering you my support and friendship. No questions asked" and then he flashed me a winning smile.

"What kind of friendship is that?" I asked sadly, aware of how little I could offer Logan in terms of mutual trust and sharing.

"The true kind" Logan answered "I think back to things between me and my mom before she died. I learnt that what you say is pretty insignificant in comparison to simply being there, being involved. I can't really remember any big conversations with mom, but I can definitely remember moments when we simply were there for each other. For instance, I remember sitting beside her on the hospital bed laughing at an old episode of Seinfeld one night. I remember it because she seemed so sad that day and she really needed something to make her smile. We didn't talk about what she was going through, it would of only made us both more upset and frightened. We simply sat there and laughed together. It was what she needed and it was what I could offer her"

"But you told me that you were angry your mother didn't tell you how sick she was" I said "So you did want to know"

Logan gave me a small smile "I'm angry and upset now" he said quietly "but I didn't waste any time when she was alive being angry and upset with her and for that I'm thankful"

"How did you get so wise?" I asked Logan shaking my head.

"Don't be fooled" he said, a violent blush staining his face "I'm a complete idiot when it comes to some things"

"Do tell" I prompted, dying to know where the chink was in his impressive armour.

He gave a little laugh and then started washing the dishes again. "Girls" he muttered quietly.

"Elaborate?" I pried, internally scalding myself. Despite knowing what Emmett had told me and wanting to avoid any more complications in my relationship with Logan, I couldn't help but want to know what he was thinking. I wondered if it was vanity or stupidity, perhaps both.

He heaved a huge sigh and let the water out of the sink "I'm the 'always the friend, never the boyfriend' type" he said "Maybe that's why I get along so well with Jacob" and he looked directly at me with his intense green eyes before heading into the living room.

This time it was my face to stain scarlet. I stood at the bench searching for something to say when Logan spoke first.

"Mind numbing television m'lady?" he asked in an English accent, waving the television remote in the air from the living room.

"Why I thought you'd never ask sir" I mimicked back in a truly awful attempt of a southern drawl.

With the tension dispelled we proceeded to gorge ourselves on truly awful reality television. During one particularly awful show, I stole a glance at Logan who was transfixed by the programme on the screen. I noticed how handsome he was and could see why most of the girls at school were already planning their wedding to him. Not only was he handsome, but he was a truly beautiful soul as well. The feelings I had for him were beginning to run deep and it made me scared. Would he be just like Jacob? Would he want more from me than I could give him? Would he pull me in a direction that would end up hurting other people that I love just as much?

I shook my head as I wondered how on earth I could have managed to make the simplest relationship in my life complicated. It truly was an art.

"Bella?" Logan asked, preventing me from drowning in my thoughts.

"Yes Logan?"

"Why are you sitting there in the dark shaking your head like a crazy woman?"

I burst out laughing and he did the same. It was almost as if he sensed that I was falling into distressing thoughts and pulled me clear of them just in time.

"Because I am crazy" I replied.

"Oh well that explains it then" Logan retorted "Good to know" and he returned to stare at the television with a smile stretched across his face.

"Actually Logan, I think I better head off to bed. It's been a long week and I want to have at least one productive day before school on Monday"

I was desperate to get away from Logan right now before my thoughts got any more dangerous and ridiculous.

"Good idea" Logan replied, starting to stretch himself out on the couch "I was getting pretty tired myself and didn't want to have to kick you out of your own living room!"

"Goodnight Logan" I said quietly, stopping to pat him on the leg before I left the room.

He grabbed my hand and it scared me to feel the electricity spark between us. It was if I was being drawn into his warmth and I gasped.

He immediately dropped my hand and looked down to the floor.

"Sorry if I frightened you" he muttered.

"You didn't frighten me Logan" I said quickly "I'm just a little jumpy lately"

His gaze returned to my face and once again I felt drawn in by him "I don't blame you with what happened last night" He said "I just wanted to thank you for letting me into your house and your life. Your friendship really means a lot to me right now"

I nodded "Yours means a lot to me too Logan. See you in the morning"

And I quickly raced off up to my room before Logan could see the blush that once again stained my face.

Once in my room I closed the door and lent my forehead against the cold wood. My mind and my heart were racing and I felt myself begin to cry yet again.

What the hell was I thinking?

How could I begin to entertain thoughts of someone else when I was still completely in love with Edward? How could I think of another boy like that when I had already denied Jacob the chance to take Edward's place? It made no sense that I would feel like this, and yet on the other hand it made complete sense. Here was someone that could possibly take me away from all the drama, fear and heartache that I had been wading through for the last year. Logan was just a boy and perhaps with him I could be just a girl.

I shook my head, still leaning against the door, to clear that thought. I would never be just a girl again. Edward had changed me in ways that I knew would never be able to be reversed. It made no difference if I could love Logan, or Jacob for that matter, in the way they wanted me to. I was forever damaged, broken and there was no way I would drag another beautiful soul down with me into my darkness. From a distance they could hold my hand and keep me from falling into the abyss, but the moment I started holding their hand back I was sure they would be dragged down under the weight of my pain with me.

Closing my eyes I turned my back to the door and slid down to the ground, covering my face with my hands and sobbing silently.

My heart was physically hurting from the ache and loss I felt and my body was literally burning from the rage I held towards Edward for causing me to feel this way. As much as I still loved him, I also despised him for letting me love him when he knew that he couldn't love me back. With all the restraint he had mastered through years of avoiding human friendship and blood, why had he not shown the same control when playing with my emotions? Why had he let me in when he knew all along he would just end up having to shut me out?

I curled into a ball on the ground and abandoned myself to despair, knowing that tomorrow morning I would have to wake up and play happy human again. I would give myself tonight, in the privacy of my own room, the right to let myself feel this way. The right to feel grief, rage, despair and self-pity. This night only, I promised myself, and then no more tears.

I would have barely noticed I was moving, the movement was so soft and fluid, if it hadn't been for the coldness I felt across my body. Opening my eyes I realised I was in Edwards arms and he was carrying me towards the bed. The coldness I had felt was his strong body pressed against mine, his gentle arms holding me to him.

He sat me down carefully on the bed and then gasped when he noticed I was looking right at him.

"Sorry Bella" he whispered, taking a few quick steps away from me "Forgive me, I thought you were asleep"

I shook my head but said nothing.

I could do nothing but stare at him. He looked so beautiful standing here in my room. It was every secret wish and dream of mine come true. Only, I knew that in reality he was actual my worst nightmare in every sense of the word.

"No....I don't think so....well maybe I did fall asleep. Ummm, I'm not too sure" I managed to croak out, my voice heavy with the tears I had cried and my brain muddled with confusion.

Edward looked extremely amused and his eyes sparkled "You were snoring Bella" he teased.

"Oh" I said embarrassed, blushing yet again "How long were you in my room?"

This time Edward looked embarrassed and he shuffled slightly on his feet "Not long, I came to speak to the girls and..."

He trailed off, not wanting to finish his sentence.

"And what?" I insisted.

"And they told me you had been crying and had fallen asleep on the floor" he looked straight up into my eyes with heavy emotion "I didn't want you to sleep on the floor" he said softly, but it seemed to me like he was actually saying something completely different.

"Thanks" I whispered back, unable to respond with anything else.

Edward sighed, rubbing his hands down the sides of his thighs in an absentminded fashion and then came to sit beside me on the bed.

He was so close and I entertained the thought of reaching out and touching him, but I was as stiff as a plank, unable to move or speak. I could only stare at him with confusion, fear and hope.

"I'm sorry Bella" he said finally "For everything. I know it sounds pretty insignificant, but I truly am" Our eyes locked again and my heart started racing off the charts. I had felt drawn in by Logan, but I was being sucked in at the speed of lightning by Edward.

"Do you think you could possibly try not to do that?" Edward said with a lopsided grin "it makes it very difficult for me to concentrate"

I looked at him startled and confused "Do what?" I asked.

"That" he said, lifting one finger and placing it on the skin above my heart and tapping to mimic my heartbeat.

At this my entire body went crazy. Not only did my heart accelerate even more, but my body gravitated towards him, leaning in closer with every shaky breath. My head began to tip back slightly so that my neck elongated and stretched out towards him. My eyes closed and my lips parted in surrender and desire. Everything physical about me was buzzing with electricity, excitement and yearning.

As my brain finally caught up with my body I began to feel extremely embarrassed at my reaction. However, before I could open my eyes I felt icy fingers trail a path along my neck, starting from just under the jaw line and coming to rest lightly on my collarbone. I could hear Edwards faltered breath and could feel his body shifting closer to mine. Another cold hand gently cupped the side of my face, the thumb rubbing soothingly across my cheekbone still damp from tears.

Tears.

At the reminder of that my eyes flicked open to take in Edwards face mere inches away from mine, his eyes brimming with emotion.

"Why?" I whispered.

"Why what" He whispered back.

"Why, when you live your life will an iron will of restraint, did you give in and let me love you only to break my heart?"

He reeled back as if I had slapped him, then looked away to stare straight ahead with the most pained look on his face. I could see he was attempting to steady his breath again and once he had he stood up from the bed and walked across to the corner of the room. Only when he was as far away from me as possible did he turn to face me again.

"Your right Bella" He said quietly "I had no right to do that to you. It wasn't fair. Thank you for reminding me of how weak and thoughtless I can be sometimes"

I looked down at my hands and bit my lip to stop from crying again with disappointment "Your welcome I guess" I said bitterly.

When I looked up at him, he once again had a confused look on his face.

Desperate to put an end to this uncomfortable moment I decided to turn the topic onto something less fraught with broken hearts and unrequited love.

"What did you need to tell the girls?" I asked.

Edward relaxed at the change of topic "Actually, Carlisle has uncovered something that may have some bearing on the situation. We're not too sure yet, but it may be important"

My eyes widened in anticipation and I leaned forward on the bed "What?" I gasped.

"He spoke this evening with the Denali coven in Alaska. They informed him that one of their acquaintances, a woman named Alicia, has gone missing in the last month."

"Do you know her?" I asked.

"No" he replied shaking his head and lowering himself to sit in the chair just beside him "I'd never even heard her mentioned before. She's even news to Carlisle. Apparently over a century ago she went into hiding. At that time she was being hunted by the Volturi"

I remembered the name Volturi from a conversation Edward and I had before he left. From the sounds of it they were definitely not someone you wanted hunting you.

"Why did they want to hurt her" I asked.

"Carlisle doesn't think they wanted to hurt her, he thinks they wanted her to join them. Nobody in the Denali coven could be sure because she is so secretive, but they believe she had a power that was quite impressive and that the Volturi wanted her gift at their disposal"

"What was her power?" I asked my mind racing with possibilities.

"Again, nobody knows for sure but they seem to think that it has something to do with blocking other's powers"

Could this missing Alicia be Victoria's new friend?

"So that could be who is stopping Alice's visions and hiding Victoria from you!"

I was confused when Edward frowned and shook his head.

"The Denali's don't seem to think that's possible. You see she was hiding from the Volturi because of her chosen lifestyle"

I looked at Edward confused and shook my head indicating I didn't know what he was implying.

"She's vegetarian like us" he continued "and from the sounds of it would never willingly hurt another person. To run from the Volturi is not a wise idea, so her convictions and moral compass must be extremely strong in order for her to do so. If someone is brave enough to say no to the Volturi, then why on earth would they say yes to Victoria?"

"So it's not her?" I asked disappointed.

"There's more though that makes the picture less clear" Edward continued "She visited the Denali's once when Laurent was staying with them and apparently invited him to stay with her for a while until he had greater control over his urges to drink blood. Because she lives so far away from anything and anyone, she thought it might help Laurent to enforce himself to isolation until he felt more confident about his control over his thirst. No one knows whether Laurent actually took her up on her offer, but she has failed to keep in touch like she usually does and all attempts to try and contact her have failed."

My mind was spinning with hypotheses and ideas "Is it possible Laurent became her mate and she has now joined with Victoria to seek revenge?"

"Maybe" Edward answered "We don't know. The Denali's describe her as some kind of saint, that she could willingly do no harm to a soul. They are not stupid Bella, they don't throw their trust at just anyone and so that has made Carlisle wonder if this is just merely a coincidence"

"What do you think?" I asked, staring deep into Edward's eyes

"I think" Edward answered quietly "that love can make you do things, stupid things, which you never thought you could ever be capable of. It can make you become the monster that you never wanted to be. So yes, it is possible that this is more than a coincidence"

I nodded and then looked away. I didn't want Edward to see the pain in my eyes. He had already referred to me as a 'mess' he needed to clean up, now he was telling me that what had happened between us was stupid.

I didn't care that he felt remorse about what he had done. I didn't want to hear how disappointed he was in himself that he had done it. I didn't want to be his stupid mess. Not only was it painful, it was degrading and humiliating. Over the last week I had already embarrassed myself through my repeated quickness to show weakness and vulnerability and quite frankly I was done with that. I didn't want to see the Bella that was reflected in the gaze of vampires or werewolves, the weak, frightened and emotionally fragile Bella that needed protecting.

All of a sudden I realised why I might be drawn so strongly towards Logan at the moment. In his eyes my image was strong, powerful, and vitally vibrant. Was I gravitating towards him because I so desperately wanted to be what he saw me as instead of how they looked upon me?

I was neither image though. Not thoroughly fragile, but more fractured than whole. I was in limbo and could not picture a time in the future when I would be able to jump off the fence I was sitting on and occupy a solid standing on either side.

"Bella?" Edward asked, breaking the silence.

"Yes" I replied, returning my gaze to where he sat stoically.

"Why were you crying before?" he asked, his voice full of concern and hesitation.

"I wasn't" I replied quickly, raising my chin defiantly.

"Yes you were" Edward continued with a hint of smile on his face.

"And how would you know?" I snapped at him.

"Well, firstly Alice heard you crying. Secondly you're a bad actress and thirdly, your face is all puffy and swollen and your nose is slightly running"

I gasped in horror and flung my hands to touch my face. He was right and I wished the ground would open up and swallow me right now.

"Uggh, I must look a mess" I said despairingly to myself.

"Actually, you look quite lovely" Edward said sweetly and softly, warmed by the amusement he was getting from my embarrassed reaction.

"I wasn't talking to you" I shot at him.

"But I replied nonetheless" he smirked.

"Whatever" I retorted like a sulky child.

"But you do" he continued, cocking his head slightly to one side "you look..." and he stopped himself from completing the sentence but kept his eyes on me with a look of approval and amusement.

"What?" I bit at him, my anger bubbling up.

"Have I ever mentioned how cute you are when you're angry...like a grumpy kitten" he chuckled.

"Have I ever mentioned how arrogant and smug and completely inappropriate you can be?" I replied.

"No you haven't" He answered "But it's good to know. Now, are you going to tell me what has got you so upset?"

"No" I replied like a defiant five year old "my life, and my heart, are no longer any of your business"

"You're wrong" Edward replied huskily, leaning forward in his chair.

I shook my head "Not tonight I'm not Edward." I warned "I think you should go now"

He shook his head also, but stood to leave nonetheless.

"I'll come back tomorrow with an update on things" He said lightly.

"Can't you send someone else?" I begged "Like Alice or Jacob?"

He smiled his lopsided smile, which flared my anger again immediately.

"No Bella, I can't. I'll see you soon. Sweet dreams"

And before I had the chance to argue with him any further he disappeared out the window and into the night.

I raced to the window and leaned out searching the darkness for any signs of him. A flash of white caught my eye and I focussed in on it to see Alice standing just on the borders of the forest waving and grinning.

"Tell your brother not to come here again" I whispered, knowing she could hear every word.

She simply smiled even further and raised her hands and shoulders in a helpless shrug.

"Arggghhhhh" I growled in frustration and saw her begin to laugh then blow me a kiss.

I stomped away from the window and threw myself on top of the bed.

Burying my face in my pillow I let myself do something that I should not be doing, something that was stupid and dangerous and most definitely misguided. Something that went against everything that I should be feeling right now....

I began to smile.