Halo 2 Screwed Up Version

Chapter 10: Sacred Faggot

Hopefully this might be a little longer :D

The story changes to the covenant side of the story.

Back on High on Drugs, the covenant holy city.

In a room called Sanctum of the tits.

Thel (The Arbiter) walked toward the sanctum.

He looked all around him and saw Brutes stripping armor and weapons from the Elite Honor Guards.

He also saw one Brute raping another honor guard.

A few minutes later Thel entered the sanctum.

The Profit of Truth and Mercy were talking with Ratas (Commander) and two of his Lieutenants about the Heretic mission.

Ratas yelled to Truth (oh here we go), "This is retarded!"

Truth said, "Regret is dead Commander."

Ratas talked back, "It's your fault for withdrawing our phantoms."

Truth said angerly, "What did you say?!"

Ratas nervously said, "I said…um…you have a nice hat."

Truth said nicely, "Oh, why thank you. Now you may go."

Ratas and his two lieutenants left; Ratas gave Thel a respectful nod on the way out.

Truth sighs when Thel walked in, "Politics. How tiresome."

Then questioned to Thel, "Do you know, Arbiter, the Elites have quit their duties?"

Thel said to himself, "That's a bunch of horse…never mind, I'm not supposed to curse. Only on the humans' side of the Screwed Up story."

Then said, "Yes, so I've heard."

Mercy came out of nowhere and said to Thel, "We plied the Oricle with our questions, and it has shown us the key."

Truth replied, "Arbiter, you will journey to the surface of the ring and retrieve this sacred icon."

Arbiter said, "Okay even though I have to and you guys betrayed me the whole time; it says in the script."

Truth replied, "You're not supposed to spoiler."

Arbiter replied, "I don't care anymore."

The arbiter left and went on the phantom with Tartarus.

The phantoms dropped toward dahalo.

Tartarus said, "We will head straight for the library."

Thel questioned, "Who killed Regret?"

Tartarus replied, "Who do you think?"

Thel answered, "The demon is here."

Tartarus joked, "You mean master queef?"

Thel (Arbiter) replied, "Not funny."

The readers replied, "That is funny so shut the hell up."

The phantoms dropped Thel off outside of the library.

The Arbiter fought a lot of flood and some gay looking machines along the way.

Randomly Thel heard a UNSC Marine on the radio saying, "Proceed with the objective. We'll hold as long as we can."

Then he hears screaming on the radio, "GET IT OFF OF ME IT'S RAPING ME! SUPPRESSIVE FIRE! SUPPRESSIVE FIRE!"

Then randomly calmed down, "Negative ma'am they're not covenant. Cover that fucking door!"

Arbiter said to himself, "Geez humans are annoying. I wonder how the demon deals with this"

The arbiter made it into a snowy field and found Ratas (commander).

Ratas questioned, "What are you doing here?"

Then said, "We must hold this camp until reinforcements arrive."

That was fun to type. Now I hope you enjoyed and I hope you start thinking about joining my halo screwed up fan club under communities.