A/N: To submit prompts visit my tumblr page demi-selenalove

Beach

My hands sift through the sand on either side of me as I sit on the semi-deserted beach. The night is getting darker, and the weather is balmy. I can see the stars tonight, but only because I'm not in the city. The stars have no competition tonight. Soon they'll be falling down to rescue me.

The sand feels so good falling between the cracks of my fingers, where your fingers should be, but aren't.

This isn't our beach, but it reminds me of us nonetheless. It may as well be our beach.

I remember the first time we moved out to L.A and came to the beach together. The wavy water, the white-hot sand, and the sounds of laughter mesmerized us.

Now the silent beach, cold sand, and soothing water is all that remains, and it's almost hard to imagine a time when it wasn't this way. Is the silence and tranquility really that bad? No, perhaps not. But it means I don't have you, your laughter, your loud, obnoxious personality, and your white-hot anger.

I think about the time we went to the beach, it must've been a few years ago now, when you sang me that song, and I cried. I vowed never to hurt you then, I guess I'm not as good at keeping promises as I thought.

I wonder how long it will take you to notice that I'm gone, though I know I don't deserve even that from you.

Jealousy took over my mind, and I tried to break you down with my words. It wasn't supposed to be me; it wasn't supposed to be us. We were supposed to be stronger. But I brought us down.

I guess I'm the one that's left behind choking on sand. And you're okay, or I assume you are.

Maybe my words made you stronger, and tore us down. I'm still trying to figure out if that's good for you or not.

I wish you'd come visit, I told you about this place once. Is it too much for me to ask? Maybe. I can't help myself, though. You're all I ever wanted.

You finally summon up the courage to come, and you find me on the beach, a month later. This has become a nightly ritual for me. You say you talked to my mom, and she told you where I'd be. I feel bad, that you're the one chasing after me again, and yet I'm the one that made the mistake.

But you smile and take my hand, I shiver, and everything is all right again. You lift me onto my feet and direct me toward the water. We walk like lovers along the edge of the ocean, lightly dipping our feet in. You keep a slow pace. I don't want this night to end either.

You ask if we can run away together, but I sadly shake my head. Circumstances won't allow that now, maybe before, but not now.

I don't want to be the one to break you down again, so I don't say another word. My mouth is dry and I can almost understand what you meant when you sang about choking on sand. That's what it feels like for me, and it only heightens the guilt I feel.

You brush your thumb over and over along my hand and my nerves ease, and then tighten, with every new wave that crashes against our feet. The waves are quite literally attacking me, they are no longer tranquil.

The beach no longer offers me peace; it's filled with pain and memories and sorrow, and you, always you.

You're the worst and best part of me, and the waves crashing against my feet feel just like the waves of guilt eating away at my insides. But you smile at me again, and maybe we can fix this, because you're here, when really, I should have gone there for you. But you're here, and I'm here, on the beach, and the smell of the salty water is relaxing. The feel of your hand in mine is calming, and I don't feel like I'm choking on sand so much anymore when you lean up and brush your lips against mine.