"Okay, now I'm amused." Bullock chuckled, grabbing the diary from Jim's hands. "I'm going to go show Alvarez."
"Really?" Cat asked. "Because we have to go visit Harley and we have to go back to Ed and we're really late."
"Oh, now you care about the rules?" Bullock took the diary into the GCPD precinct and disappeared behind the doors, and Jim followed him.
Cat looked at Bruce and Ivy, groaning, "So that's what our back sass sounds like."
The kids ran inside after Bullock, and found him at the front reading the diary aloud to the indifferent cops.
Dear Diary,
All last night and all morning today, Master Bruce and Miss Kyle had started an argument over who would win in a fight. I had to fall asleep listening to what they would do to each other in the fight, and I had to say I was rooting for Master Bruce. Deep down, though, I knew Miss Kyle would win. This morning at breakfast, I heard Miss Kyle yell, "Fine! Let's settle this once and for all!"
I was worried, as I knew Miss Kyle would murder Master Bruce, so I attempted to intervene. They took it the wrong way though, thinking I was interested and made me the referee. I advised against it a million times, but still they spent the rest of the morning threatening each other.
The afternoon came, and Miss Pepper had invited most of Gotham. I noticed Edward Ngyma, Victor Zsasz, and even Detectives Gordon and Bullock among the crowd.
"Really, Detective Gordon?" I asked. "You too?"
"Bullock made me."
Detective Bullock chimed in, "Who doesn't want to see Selina pound the fudge out of Bruce?"
Miss Pepper had started taking bets, and the lack of trust in Master Bruce was evident at that point. I had to stay to make sure no one got hurt. There was no talking them out of it. Just for image, I bet one dollar on Master Bruce, since I would look terrible if I didn't.
Miss Pepper stepped in the middle of the crowd, all sitting in our living room, and Master Bruce and Miss Kyle walked in together. They shook hands and separated, walking to opposite ends of the room.
"Listen up!" Miss Pepper yelled. "Let's keep this fight nice and clean. You can use anything as a weapon, and the first to give up or get knocked out loses. Begin!"
There was a pile in the middle of the room with pool noodles, water guns, and a few bagels that I guessed were the weapons, and the crowd cheered wildly as the two ran at each other to get to the pile. The fight had begun.
Miss Kyle had gotten to it first, picking up a water gun and spraying Master Bruce in the face with it. Master Bruce had rushed into the pile and picked up a few bagels, throwing them at Miss Kyle. I sighed in relief as the crowd began to groan as Miss Kyle performed her overly-dramatic response to the bagel, doubling over on the ground. Master Bruce picked up her water gun and held it to her head.
"Surrender, Cat. You're beaten."
I saw Miss Kyle grin, and the crowd cheered wildly as she yelled, "In your dreams!" and whipped a leg out to trip Master Bruce. While he was getting up, Miss Kyle jumped on the couch and pelted him with pillows.
Before Master Bruce could get up, Miss Kyle dashed out the door outside, and Master Bruce chased after her. The roaring crowd chased after them, trying to get in on the action.
Master Bruce stopped in the garden, looking around. He had lost Miss Kyle. Then, without warning, Miss Kyle jumped out of a tree onto his back, grabbing his arm and making Master Bruce slap himself in the face. Luckily, Master Bruce was smart. He knew Miss Kyle's weakness. Struggling to walk with Miss Kyle on her back, he jumped into the pond in the garden, Miss Kyle screaming with terror and trying to get out.
Both soaking wet, the fight turned into hand-to-hand combat. Miss Kyle grabbed onto Master Bruce and pulled at a fistful of his hair, while Master Bruce tried his best to push Miss Kyle back into the pond. To get his attention, Miss Kyle put her finger in her mouth to make it wet and plunged it into Master Bruce's ear. Master Bruce lunged backwards, again over-dramatically, and Miss Kyle took her chance to land a solid kick straight between Master Bruce's legs.
The crowd cringed as Master Bruce fell to the ground with his hands between his legs, groaning, and Miss Kyle stood triumphantly over him. I noticed the crowd ready to collect their bets when Master Bruce started getting up. Miss Kyle, looking around worriedly, jumped over the fence and disappeared from sight. Master Bruce opened the gate and followed after her. Again, the crowd followed.
We were in the street, Miss Kyle's turf, and she had once again disappeared. Master Bruce looked around, running further down the alley, when Miss Kyle jumped out of a window and landed on his back, pinning him to the ground and sitting on him with a water gun to his head.
"Any last words, billionaire?" she asked.
The crowd was absolutely silent, and I asked myself why they were enjoying watching to kids fighting with water guns. Just as Miss Kyle was about to press the trigger, the clouds began to roll in, and I smiled.
"You put up a good effort. But the Cat will always be superior to you. I guess all that money can't buy you out of this. I think your time is just about-"
Miss Kyle was interrupted by a loud thunder clap and a flash of lightning. She screamed as loud as she could, getting up and running back to the mansion, waving her arms in terror.
"Thunderstorms." Miss Pepper sighed. "A cat's worst enemy."
Master Bruce stood up, waving his arms in triumph as the crowd cheered and roared. A few hours later, as Miss Kyle was hiding from the thunderstorm under a couch and Master Bruce was putting an ice pack to use on his manhood, Miss Pepper walked up to me and handed me over two-hundred and fifty dollars in cash.
"What's this for?" I asked.
"It's from the betting. You were the only one that bet on Bruce. This is what you get from Cat losing. I'm pretty sure if Cat won, everyone would've gotten point two percent of a cent."
I turned around and grinned at the two, as I turned my back to go visit the bank.