Disclaimer: I do not own and shall not steal, any of the property of JK Rowling.

So far: Sirius got kicked out of home last summer – or did he leave? Remus has an unexpected need to party. James and Marlene kissed in that very party.

Chapter 9

Or

Of the Boys

It had been two months, and Sirius still had nightmares about it. All the time. And not a single detail of it had faded, either; he could see his father's face as clearly as he had that terrible, terrible night, and he could hear Regulus running away from the room – the coward – and he could feel the sting of the hex, and he didn't even know who shot it, but he guessed it was his mother.

She was the one who discovered his redecorating – the Gryffindor flags, in particular, had always been an annoyance, but what drove her over the edge were the new Muggle girls. She threw a tantrum, demanded that he remove the pictures, but he refused. He'd worked on his permanent sticking charm throughout the year; it had not proved fruitless, and he was certain that even now, the same old flags were hanging proudly above his bed, pictures of motorcycles were placed at every corner, and of course, the very same controversial Muggle bikini-clad girls were probably still glaring at his mother whenever she attempted to remove them.

He almost laughed at the thought of her shouting at Kreacher as he failed, once again, to get those "ruddy abominations" off the wall. He thought about where he stood, that night, as Kreacher laughed silently at his misery…

That night – that night he said some things he had wanted to say for so long. But he hadn't said a lot of things, too. There was nothing wrong with liking Muggle things, he had wanted to explain to her. He wanted to make their family semi-normal, not interbred, not supporters of Voldemort, not the Noble House of Black. But he couldn't say any of those to them. He couldn't explain, he couldn't make them understand the error of their ways, he couldn't tell them he had never been like them.

And so he left – he ran – like a coward he escaped the clutches of his own blood.

He told almost no one. The morning after, he told James everything, because that's what he always did, and then he – that is, James – told his parents a very shortened version, and they didn't press for details, and he didn't give them. He told Lily – she really was easy to talk to, out-going and fun as she was – but he told her even less that James told his parents, and he downplayed it, to make it seem like it wasn't that much of a big deal. Because it wasn't. He had just finally, finally, finally left that bloody house and that goddamned house-elf and his fucking father and little brother and his –

And his mother. His heartless, evil mother, who was nothing like him, because he couldn't afford to be anything like her, because just over six years ago he had made a choice to be a Gryffindor and not a Slytherin because a boy named James Potter, who was so much better than anyone he had ever met until then, had told him about his father.

Sirius Black was born to be the black sheep, and sometimes he found that ironic. But he might have never gone too astray – surely not as astray as Andromeda – if it weren't for James. And he was eternally grateful for that.

So every time he woke up from another nightmare and silently debated whether he was really as brave as he thought he was, he remembered James, and he thanked God that they were friends, and they he would always have him by his side.

It was a warm, sunny day, probably the last one for many months. The sun, slightly too bright, was shining on the busy and bustling Hogwarts, and it smelled of the beginning of autumn, that fresh, sweet-and-bitter scent that no other time of year could produce. Younger students were outside, enjoying the fresh air and chatting within the many swirling leaves, which crunched pleasantly when stepped on. Older students, such as Lily Evans, Marlene McKinnon, Remus Lupin and Peter Pettigrew, were spending their Saturday inside, in the library, as one does when one has more-or-less half a dozen essays to finish.

At least, if they're sensible. Which Sirius was not.

"I'm bored," he said for what must have been the hundredth time. "Let's go do something."

"We are doing something," said Remus calmly. "We're finishing our homework so we'll have tomorrow to ourselves, while you will be sitting and attempting to do this work, that we've been doing for three days, in about five hours."

"Something interesting, then," he amended. He turned his concentration on Lily now, who was in the middle of explaining something to Marlene. "Lily, you could do something with me."

She ignored him. "It's very simple, really, just a chemical law – what, Sirius?" she said irritably, when he started waving his hands in front of her face and making really, really strange sounds. "Why are you bothering me?"

"Because I'm bored," he said for the hundredth-and-first time.

"Well – what about Potter?" Marlene asked hesitantly. Lily glanced at her, but didn't say anything, as thankfully, Sirius apparently hadn't noticed Lily's eyes.

"He's in the pitch," he was saying. "Apparently, Quidditch Captains have to schedule practices every once in a while."

"Funny, how that is," agreed Remus sarcastically, glancing up from his parchment. "I wouldn't have believed it myself, if it weren't for the compelling evidence James had brought up before me." He rolled his eyes and stood, explaining that he had to search for a book in the shelves. He said the title of it, too, but Sirius Ignored that part.

"What about Mary?" piped Peter. He had been very silent so far, but apparently this was important to ask.

Sirius sighed. "Alas, we have an arrangement." He didn't elaborate on the arrangement, and nobody asked. Eventually, he gave up, stood, and just as Remus came back with a book that looked as though it was as heavy as a fridge (not that Sirius knew what a fridge was), he announced that he was leaving. "I will find my entertainment elsewhere," he said, and left the library.

He probably just didn't notice Madam Buchanan's stare. He wouldn't have ignored the librarian, of course.

"Done," sighed Lily some three hours (and a bit) later. "Slughorn is killing me, I swear. And all of this Ancient Runes stuff - " she sighed again. "I don't understand why we have to get so much work. I'd just like to sleep."

"There's still daylight outside," remarked Peter. "We could still enjoy the last hour of sunlight before we have to lock ourselves back inside."

The four of them agreed that this was a good idea, and after they packed their books and bags, they made their way down the steps to the Entrance Hall.

"What is that?" asked Remus. It was the sound of many people, shouting, jeering… cheering? Lily and he exchanged what everyone else liked to call "prefect-look"s, and ran towards the crowd. "Make way, make way, prefects coming through!" he yelled, though only very few bothered to make any room at all. Finally, both prefects managed to reach the middle of the crowd, where, unsurprisingly, stood Sirius, and where very surprisingly, stood also Regulus, his brother. They were standing in dueling positions, though it seemed that neither had actually placed a hex or cast a spell.

"You COWARD!" Regulus was yelling. "YOU DARE MAKE JOKES OVER HER BROKEN HEART!"

"How many times DO I HAVE TO TELL YOU?!" Sirius shouted in return. "SHE DIDN'T HAVE A HEART TO BREAK! – and that house elf, too – " he began.

"DON'T YOU DARE SPEAK ABOUT KREACHER, YOU – YOU – YOU BLOOD TRAITOR – YOU FIFLTHY COWARD!" Regulus was in tears, but it seemed that only Lily had noticed so far. "YOU BROKE MOTHER'S HEART WHEN YOU LEFT AND YOU DON'T EVEN CARE!"

Sirius opened his mouth, but before he could say anything, Lily yelled: "ENOUGH!" and as Lily had quite a lot of experience yelling, her voice tended to carry quite a bit. Sirius blinked and stared around him, evidently unaware of the crowd that had formed around his brother and himself until this very instant, eventually focusing on Lily; Regulus simply looked at the ground. "Both of you – Sirius, I cannot believe you, and I intend to talk to McGonagall about this. Being bored doesn't mean dueling in the Entrance Hall! And Regulus – I don't know you, but this will reach Professor Slughorn as well." She looked at Remus helplessly, but he just shrugged. "And – uh – you both receive detention. Your heads of houses can decide when and where they'll take place once I tell them. That's it, I guess." She looked at Remus again, this time pointing discretely at the crowd.

"Okay, everyone!" he yelled. "There's nothing to see here, so just – just move along." He continued to say similar things for a few minutes, making sure nobody stayed there – including Regulus, who could be heard mumbling various curse words. Then he turned around and stared at Sirius.

"Let's just go outside," suggested Peter. "Let's calm down and go outside."

"I think I'm going upstairs, actually," said Remus quietly. He wasn't looking at anybody, and instead, similarly to Regulus only five minutes ago, was staring at the ground beneath him. And then he turned around and went back, up the stairs that led to the seventh floor.

"No, don't – " he said feebly, but it was too late. Remus was already gone.

There were many speculations as to why, in the name of Merlin, was the straight-laced Remus Lupin part of such a group as the Marauders. There was slightly less speculation, yet still a significant amount, surrounding Peter Pettigrew's involvement in the Marauders.

Peter never doubted his place within the Marauder circle for a second. He was the glue – and though he wasn't a genius, he had a heart, and was often in charge of reconciliation between the teenage boys, who being both teenaged and boys, tended to come to blows every once in a while. Sure, there was last year, where he had been a bit of a dweeb and James had been a bit of a – well, a piece of shit, and Sirius was still a piece of shit, but there would always be room for a heart in the Marauders, and as long as he fulfilled that role, took that place, he would always have Moony, Padfoot and Prongs.

And that was all the home he needed.

He didn't need his mother, who was never actually home and was always busy either fretting over something at work or fretting over him; he didn't need his father, who was long gone before he could remember himself; he didn't need his aunt, who came to visit once every two years and expected him to love her, adore her, simply because she brought gifts. The Marauders were his real home.

They had to be.

"Hey, Peter, are you okay?"

Peter had always liked Lily. Even before James was infatuated with her, when they were just classmates and she used to help him find his way because he always forgot it, he liked her. She was just kind, and trusting, and he couldn't help it – she brought a smile to his face. He could never be sad when he saw Lily Evans smile. And now, her kind features were in a worried frown.

"Yeah, I'm fine," he smiled at her, trying to look as if everything was. "Listen, I think I'm going to go up to the dorms for a moment."

"Okay," she said, blinking as she looked at the setting sun. "See you at dinner, I 'sppose?"

Peter nodded, slowly making his way up to the castle. He was looking left and right nervously as he took the familiar path, wishing it were darker so he could simply morph into a rat and sneak up – but then again, he didn't want to leave his books and unfinished essay behind, so that wasn't an option anyway. Maybe it was better that it wasn't dark yet.

He glanced back at his chatting friends, regretting leaving them for a moment, but he needed some space. His mind was elsewhere, and he didn't want to burden them with his presence.

He took a couple of short cuts that bypassed some of the more crowded hallways, ensuring that he would encounter less people on his way to Gryffindor Tower. He was thinking of the upcoming Halloween, wondering what the Feast would be like, now that Frank was Head Boy – he liked how every year the Feast was a little bit different, and he liked Frank, and Peter hoped that Frank could be creative with the decorations, but he didn't think he would. He climbed the last staircase, finding himself on the seventh floor, about five minutes from the Tower. He had walked much faster than he'd realized; he'd meant to take his time, but he was all too used to hurrying when he was alone.

Eventually he was climbing through the portrait hole (password: "Maggots") and hoping to get five minutes to himself. He wanted to rest by the fire, maybe – but no, there was Remus, scribbling profusely on a piece of parchment, and he opted, instead, to climb the staircase to the dorm.

Remus was not, as it may have been logical to presume, studying; he was in fact, writing, then rewriting, then rewriting again, a letter he had intended to send already yesterday.

Dear Natalie, the current version of the letter read, I've been thinking over your last letter. So firstly, yes – I do think of you. And quite a lot. There was a party – anyway, I was thinking of you. And yes, I wish we could see each other, but I just don't think my headmaster would let me leave in order to meet with a – a pen-pal. Of any sort.

Secondly, your birthday is coming up soon, isn't it? Well, we're allowed to go to the village nearby every once in a while and the next visit is right after Halloween, and I intend to get you a birthday present then. It might be a bit late, so I'm sorry – but I just thought you should know, that yes, I am thinking about your birthday. Again. Yeah.

Thirdly, shit shit shit shit shit shit

Remus shook his head and crumpled up the piece of paper, tossing it into the fire. As it went up in flames, he remembered his anger wasn't actually directed towards Natalie. In fact, it was directed towards Sirius, who was being such an idiot, and he wished he could just yell at him – but he couldn't. He couldn't, because what if Sirius never spoke to him again if he said what was really really on his mind? And once he began, he was afraid he wouldn't be able to stop…

The full moon had been last week, and it had only been bearable thanks to his friends. He couldn't lose them. But sometimes he got so angry. Angry at James' smugness, at Sirius' idiocy, at Peter's agreeableness – as if none of them really had a mind of their own. But they were his friends, and he had never really had friends before them, and he was sure that if they left, then he would never have friends again.

They were all he had.

Dear Natalie...

James hadn't been on a real date in a year and five months, give or take a few weeks. He hadn't liked anyone enough to go on a real date for that long – well, except for Lily, that is, but she never accepted his advances. He'd had a number of – encounters with the fairer sex, but he had always, every single time, been so drunk he could barely remember the encounter, and he never felt anything later – both sides had understood that whatever had happened was a one-time thing, never to be repeated or spoken of again.

Then came Marlene. And Marlene was shy, and sweet, and a friend of Lily's, and he hadn't really expected to feel anything for anyone other than Lily for a long, long time. True, he was trying to get over her – but it hadn't been really working, so far.

He didn't know what to do. James Potter was at a complete loss. He had no idea what to do.

Marlene McKinnon. Ignoring the fact that he lived with her twin, he didn't really know much about her. She was kind, known as a trust-worthy character, and rarely, if ever, said something rude or mean. She reminded him of Lily, in that regard – only Lily would usually say quite a lot of rude and mean things when it came to him, and Marlene had no exceptions for this rule, as far as he could tell. She wanted to be a Healer – for some reason or another, that information had stuck with him ever since he started eavesdropping on Lily's conversations years ago, only to stop last September when she cursed him repeatedly every time she caught him – and she was no good at Potions, something he had only noticed these past couple of weeks, when he essentially swapped watching Lily for watching Marlene during classes. She would need to get better if she wanted to be a Healer, of course, but that was another matter.

Marlene. He'd been watching her, thinking, constantly thinking.

Perhaps soon he would come to a decision.

Now, there was dinner.

A/N: Hello again! Oh, I've missed this whole thing. It's been a hard month or so and right now I'm as sick as you can get without needing to go to a doctor, which is pretty darn sick.

In the past couple of weeks I've been busy editing, writing, then editing again, the entire story. More important changes, such as the fact that it's supposed to be 1976 and 1975, have been added to the actual story that you have probably read; the rest (that were fixed) were mostly typos. This is chapter is much, much longer than the original chapter nine was, about a thousand words longer actually - and deals with completely different matters, as well! Almost everything in this chapter is either resolved or dealt with in the next chapter, because chapter 11 is a big one, and I hope you're ready for it :)

SiryII: All your questions shall be answered in due time. And it has been hotter here, believe me, so I understand your pain - and I am eternally grateful for the invention of both the fan and the air-conditioner.

To all my new readers - and there are a bunch of new followers that showed up lately - I'm glad you're enjoying my story! I'm really enjoying writing it, too...

I got a request recently for a short Jily fic that will be up August 30th. So 1. when that comes around, I hope you guys like it and 2. this has prompted me to ask for prompts! I really like prompts; they're a good writing exercise and I always enjoy reading them when other people write them, so I want to do the same to others, causing similar joy! I hope you send me some soon!

As always, please follow and favorite, and most importantly - review! Getting notification emails that one of these has happened literally makes my day! You're also welcome to share with your friends, if you feel the need...

Love, JustGail.