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I kept doing some potions to the Dark Lord. He paid very well and I was just a kid. He was also very gentle to me. Sometimes he sent me gifts or a letter, and Lucius always said "He just does it for special ones. You may be very special Severus"
Lily never knew I had contact with him, and I never told her about it. In my mind, he wanted some service of mine because he was a half-blood too. I never knew what his plans were. I never knew what he could do. He was cold, and I knew he wanted to purify the world (such a nazi thought), but I knew so many stupid political ideas which never worked, why would his plan work?
Lily was resisting Potter in such a way that make girls crazy. Everybody loved the Quidditch player, expect Lily. He was always trying to show off and call her attention to himself. "Why don't you give me a chance?"
"You are not worth it"
"C'mon Evans, all this show because of Snivillus?"
"His name is Snape. And no, it is not because of him. I don't have any kind of attraction for you. You don't please me"
He took her by the arm and asked "So tell me, what do you want from me? Ask, and I will give you everything"
"You can't give me anything, because I don't want anything from you. When someone pleases me, it pleases me because of what they are"
"This is such a girly thing…"
"So what? I am a girl. And no muscles, or Quidditch games, or appearance and popularity status may please me more than a good, kind heart. And you Potter, never in your life showed to have one. I wonder every time I watch a Quidditch game how can you belong to Gryffindor? You are much more Slytherin than Snape is. Sorry, Potter, but a heart is not bought, nor affections. They are conquered"
It was a kind of arguing between them in the fourth year. After that, I had my books stolen by Potter three times, and he turned me upside down, when Lily wasn't nearby.
By the fourth year, students are filled up with hormones and crazy for dates, kisses and sex. I was an ordinary kid, and I wanted too. So I decided I was going to tell her. I didn't know how, but I was going to. I wrote her a letter, and I was going to deliver it personally. I didn't want anyone to read it, to see it. Just her. I put it in a pink envelop I followed to the Gryffindor's tower. I daydreamt about her, about our house on the heights and the library, and I felt it escaping from my hands "
Well, well, well. What do we have here?" James asked sarcastically. "From Snivillus to Lily. So you are trying to have my girl?"
"She is not an object to belong to you" I replied.
"You think you are very smart, right? Well, I won't try to stop you. Go ahead and put your letter in an owl and send her. You will be destroyed when she says she wants you not"
That words made me afraid and I decided do not send the letter yet. I was going to wait a little more and be sure she wasn't going to hurt me.
Later that day, all the students were together eating and an owl arrived to Lily. A pink envelop. I touched my pockets and I felt my letter. Whatever James has done, I could deny. He stood up and took the letter from her hands
"Hey, Potter give it back!" I ran by her side
"Look, people, Snivillus finally declared for her!" Everybody laughed, Lily looked my face and I shook my head.
"I don't know what he is talking about" "C'mon Sniv, let the world know that you very often touch yourself thinking about her. Let the world know" He took his wand and transformed the letter into a Howler, a talking letter which started to float on the air. A very familiar voice started to talk:
"Dear sister, please sit down because I don't have good news. You must leave Hogwarts and come back home immediately. Mom and dad, they… (the letter started to cry) They died last night in a crush. Please, darling, come back home"
I almost didn't realized when Lily failed in my arms. She was cold and her lips color had disappeared "What have you done? What did you do with her?" I screamed while I cried with Lily on my arms "Why with her? Why with her?"
Potter was astonished. I could swear he was about to cry "I never… I…"
"Be gone before I kill you! Lily, please wake! Please, please princess wake!"
When Lily finally opened her eyes she began to cry. I never saw her crying, just that day when we were kids. And that hurt me. That hurt everybody. That hurt James too. Lily was almost an angel, she never hurt anybody. She was always there to help and to give her shoulder. In the muggles world, offend Lily was like offend a saint.
"Sev, please say this is not true Sev, please, please!" I took her, and looked one more time to Potter. "I am here for you, Lily. And I will always stand up for you" I turned back and took her to the infirmary, where she stayed for five days.
I was there, asking Madam Ponfrey when she was going to be ok. I was there, to hold her hands when I was allowed to enter. And once I visited her at night. She was feverish, and she never ate. When I was there, she ate a little, but it wasn't enough.
I looked for Potter, I had to make him pay for that. I had to make him suffer for everything he was causing her. "Potter!" When he looked back I punched his nose. His friends tried to help him but I took my wand and screamed "Stupefy" Then I took Potter by his neck "Hurt her once more, and I swear I am going to burn your body!"
"I didn't…"
"I don't care what your intentions are, motherfucker! I don't care what you think! She is sick! She barely eats and it is your entire fault! Call me Snivillus! Turn me upside down and show my underwear in front of everybody! Bully me, I don't care. But never, ever hurt her again, did you understand?" I screamed.
I throw Potter on the floor, like a paper or rubbish and followed back to Slytherin's restroom. There, I close and cried, cried and cried. I took the letter from my pocked "Lacarno Inflamaro"
