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Music Disclaimer: Lyrics used in this song are by Hinder and no copyright infringement is intended.

Summary: John Cena is faced with a life altering event and is forced to analyze every aspect in his life. Can he save himself before it's too late or will he be lost forever?

I can hardly see
What's in front of me
Cause the vodka's running on empty

The building was long, the brick having been placed what seemed like over thirty years ago. People milled around outside, smoking cigarettes, pacing back and forth, lost in translation. He wanted to turn around and run back the way he had come but he knew that the woman beside him wouldn't let him. She cared to much about him to let him run from his demons.

"Tell me again why I need to do this? I don't have a problem." John stated, as if it was a matter of fact. This wasn't going to help him at all if he couldn't admit to it right? Denial was not one of the steps.

The minute he looked at her he wanted to take back his words. She had been here before, with Jeff Hardy when he had his addiction to pain medication but she wasn't able to get him the help he so obviously needed then. With him she hoped to make up for that. He could see it written all over her face. Which only made him want a drink more.

Pity.

That was the last thing he wanted from anyone, least of all her. Not when she understood better then anyone just why he was here. But at the moment he was out of options and since he was in a city, a part of town anyway that he didn't know, he knew he was stuck.

"John I know you think you can do this alone. I also know you think that you don't have anything wrong but what happened at Hunter's tells me otherwise. You know it too otherwise you wouldn't have come here to Toronto at all."

What happened at Hunters. It all seemed like such a bad dream now, almost four days after it had happened. Something he swore deep inside he would never repeat.

He almost raped Trish Stratus.

God what was wrong with him? How could he have even thought for one second this wonderful woman standing beside him, her hand entwined with his could ever be the cold hearted bitch that Michelle had turned out to be? They were nothing alike.

How had he not seen it? The terror that had been in her eyes that day. How could he have missed it and missed the tears that followed as Hunter pulled her out of the room.

Yeah a drink wouldn't be so bad right now. It could make me forget.

"Do you want me to come in there with you?" she asked, squeezing his hand lightly to bring him back from wherever he had gone. She could see the displacement in his eyes and knew that wherever he was, it was not where he needed to be. He was living in his past again, the darkness of it and she needed to rescue him before he fell deeper.

He shook his head, telling her silently that he didn't need her to sit beside him like a mother would her son. He could do this, even if it was only for her and he would be okay.

As he entered the building, through the rusted down door, he saw the fate that awaited him in a small semi circle in the middle of the room. He took a deep breath as he passed through the threshold of the room. It was now or never.

Flashback

"Come on John Boy, drink up!" his friend Patrick said, passing him another beer, watching as the young Cena sucked the liquid down his throat. Banging the beer can against his forehead, he let it fall to the floor a smile taking over his features.

"Who wants to do tiki shots?" Denise yelled above the music, garnering everyones attention and having it be focused directly on her.

"God she is so good looking." he thought to himself as he watched his girlfriends body move around the table, pouring shots of tequila into the table full of shot glasses. Just what he had done to get a girl like this was beyond him but she was well worth the trip.

Wrapping his arms around her, the sweat from her body, developing after dancing under the hot lights with him earlier transferring to his body, made his body instantly crave more then just a shot glass.

He kissed her delicately on her neck, taking great care as he sucked, letting the pressure develop a pink spot on her neck.

"I want to leave more then a pink mark on this girl. I want to mark her as mine forever." he thought again as she responded to his kiss with a giggle.

"Is there someplace we can go and be alone for awhile John asked, taking the shot glass from her hands and pounding it back without a second thought.

Ever the tease, Denise put her hand on the crotch of his jeans, slowly letting her fingers run up and down the length of his very turned on manhood.

He sucked in a deep breath as he let himself enjoy the feeling of her hands on his body and secretly begged for more. If he didn't soon get some time alone with this girl he was going to lose his mind.

"Follow me." she said with a wink, sashaying away from him, her hand leaving his pants and making her way toward the stairs. Eager to find out what she had in mind he followed her but before he could get to the door she had just walked through, he heard his name being called from down at the bottom of the stairs.

"Guy says he's your brother and that you promised you would pick him up." Gary, another one of his buddies from the football team said, just as he was about to ignore it and follow Denise.

"Tell him I'll be there soon." was all he said as he made his way down the stairs. He grabbed another shot glass from the kitchen counter. Sucking it back quickly, he made a mad dash for the door.

If there was one thing he couldn't do, it was be late to get his little brother. Family was everything to him.

Denise had followed him out to the car that night and came along for the ride. Little did he know then that it would be the last time he would ever see either of them alive again.

End Flashback

As he watched all of the people entering from the outside of the building, he realized that the meeting was due to start any minute. Looking at his watch and back again at the people gathering in the chairs around him he realized just how out of place he felt.

Grabbing his coat off the back of the chair, and without a word to anyone he walked back out into the sunshine of the late June day. She wouldn't be back to get him for at least another hour and by then he would be back and waiting for her. That was long enough for one drink to numb the pain of the past wasn't it?