Violet (Violet)

I had my first bleed a few months back, at the time when the ice was starting to break on the river. Just before we had our Spring Celebration. When I told my mother, she was so excited.

I was just in pain, and though I had looked forward to being a woman, wanted at that time to be a girl again.

I mean. Bleeding. Down there. It's sort of disgusting. And my stomach. Hurt.

It felt like I had a stone in there, that kept hitting my vital organs in a relentless throb.

And my mother? She was off in her own world, planning how the Spring Celebration would include me.

There were already a few girls who'd had their first time already involved.

But my mother was full of plans, and rushed off to tell my father that I had to be included.

Leaving me. And my hurting stomach.

My father though. When they came back to our hearth, he looked at me. His little girl. A woman now. He smiled at me. Blushed a bit I think. And then asked if I was in pain.

And that is when time seem to slow down. Well it didn't really but my mother just stood there. Staring at me. Her face going pale. She stared at me as she realised that through all her plans, that she hadn't made sure I was okay.

And when I nodded my head and told my father. And my mother. That my stomach did hurt.

Then?

She flew. She flew to the back of our hearth, pulling out baskets, grabbing a packet of herbs, and taking them over to our fire. She took a carved cup, filled it with some of the herbs and hot water and some honey and then brought it over to me.

'I am sorry Violet,' she said. 'I was so happy about my little girl becoming a woman, I didn't stop to think that you might be hurting.'

I smiled and nodded my head.

'I, a healer, and I don't make sure my own daughter is okay. I am ashamed.'

I picked up the cup and blew at the steam coming from it.

And my father put his arm around my mother. He hugged her.

'You're only human,' he said.

I sipped some of the liquid, felt it flow hot down my throat and into my stomach. And then looked at my mother. 'You were excited,' I said. 'I know how long you have been planning my coming of age. You simply forgot. And you are the best healer of all our people.' I hugged her too.

But that was ages ago now. And I reckon she's forgotten all about it.

Because now it is the summer meeting. And I am in the young women's tent. Preparing for the first ceremony of womanhood.

My mother is with me. As she should be. She helped me choose the outfit I would wear. A long tunic, bleached white, its fringing coming to my knees. It is decorated with clear stones that I know will glint tonight in the firelight.

My feet are bare, as they should be.

And I wear a blue bracelet on each wrist.

Made with blue stones.

A pair of blue stones also adorn my ears.

My mother has woven my hair in little plaits that are arranged to pile in a sort of basket shape on top of my head.

And now we are just standing around.

Waiting.

For the time when the ceremony will start.

And for something else too.

You see, I never knew. It's something that is part of the mystery of womanhood. Something they don't share.

I have only just been told. And I had to say I would never tell anyone, until I have a daughter of my own who is entering womanhood.

It is a great secret. All the adults know. But the children? No. They don't. And neither do the young men just entering adulthood.

For you see, the thing we are waiting for is a necklace. A blue necklace that my father will give to the young man he has chosen to be my husband.

He will bring it to me.

I wonder who my father has chosen?