Codename: TABASCO
(The Awesome Background And Secret Chronicles Of Michael Guerin)
Episode 107
The Accomplices (Blood Brothers)
Somebody once said that no man is an island. I don't recall who said it, offhand, but what they meant was that we all need others in some way or another, even those of us who think we never will. Having Liz and Maria on our side had worked out pretty well, I had to admit. But we weren't ready to let anyone else in on our secrets. Valenti had pretty much figured it out on his own, even if I hadn't exactly confirmed it in so many words. And he was pretty sure that Max was one, too. He couldn't make up his mind about Isabel, but there was that guilt by association thing, so he was watching her, too. He would have suspected Maria of being an alien if he hadn't been there when she was born and if he hadn't dated her mother, Amy, at one time. Amy had been a "flower child," of the 60's and early 70's type, but that didn't exactly make her an alien. Jim and Amy were pretty close… sometimes maybe a bit too close, he thought… like when she was mad and holding a handbag. At those times, the other side of town was too close. But he did like Amy… a lot. She had spunk. So did Topolsky. He admired that trait in both of them. Jim Valenti liked strong women. He was strong enough to handle them. But he was no pushover, and he knew a threat when he saw it. Topolsky was a threat. He would have no qualms about sending her packing if he needed to. Amy, on the other hand, was no threat. Well, except when she was mad and had a handbag. But Valenti could take the lumps. And Maria was no alien. Neither was Liz. He knew this well. But they did seem to be involved, in some way, with us, and Valenti was determined to know everything about those relationships.
I had given the sheriff just enough information to satisfy our agreement of mutual cooperation. I had no intention of filling him in on every aspect of my private life… or Maria's. So there was still a lot that he did not know about us. I wanted to keep our secrets tightly managed and known only to those who already knew them. But unexpected events were already conspiring to make that even more difficult than it already was. The aliens in a bottle, it seemed, were about to need help from a human… again.
With one of the teachers out for the day, Max decided to take Liz for a ride… to try to get away from all the alien-related problems for a while and just have a few moments of normality. Yeah… as if!
It's the old highway. My dad used to take this when we drove to Albuquerque.
I never even knew this place existed, Max.
I just thought we should do something… you know… something normal, for once. Things have been so…
Yeah, I know, insane. Oh, my God. I love this song.
Me, too.
Max and Liz both turned their attention to the song on the radio. It was one of those songs that has a way of making you forget that you have troubles… until trouble finds you and thumps you on the head, you know what I mean? You trying to avoid me? Forget it, chump! I'm right here… riding on your shoulder… all the time.
A wild horse suddenly ran into the road, and Max veered and crashed the jeep into some bushes trying to keep from hitting it. When Liz lifted her head and looked at him, he was unconscious… and lying on the steering wheel.
Max? Max? Oh, my God.
The genies really had tried to stay in their bottle. But now someone had dropped the bottle, and it had shattered into a million pieces. Whether or not it could ever be put back together again would have to be seen.
Blood pressure 124 over 84.
How do you feel… Ringing? Any buzzing?
No, I'm fine. Is he going to be alright?
We can't know for sure, but his vital signs are good. Nurse, have someone contact his parents right away. Get him on a monitor. We need some blood tests. Get me a CBC and a spot 12. And draw blood for a trauma panel.
At school, Maria was accusing me of avoiding her, because I didn't have much to talk about and was late to class. Then the call came through on her cell phone…
You and Max were in an accident?
Now I had something to talk about. I grabbed the phone… What the hell's going on?
You remember what I said about trouble finding you and tapping on your shoulder? Well, forget that! It hauled off and slugged me upside the head. The principal found out about the accident, and she told Topolsky. And Agent Topolsky turned around and called Agent Moss…
Get to the hospital NOW! We might have an opportunity.
Meanwhile, Isabel, Maria, and I rushed to the hospital, and after charming a nurse named Susan into letting us in to see Max, I started looking around for the blood sample they had taken from him. Isabel saw Agent Moss come in through a back door and knew that he was looking for it, too. Fortunately, I found it first, and I palmed it. I was gonna just let Moss keep looking for it, but I happened to spy another sample nearby. It wasn't blood, and it wasn't Max's. It was yellow and in a little cup. One of the nurses had set it down momentarily and gone off to look for something. Anyway, I grabbed an empty blood vial and poured some of the mystery sample from the cup into the empty vial. Then I waved my hand over it and turned it red and stuck Max's name on it. Let 'em figure that out. I watched as Moss found the vial and quickly left the hospital with it. I think I ought to let Kathleen tell you what happened next… 'Cause she tells it so well…
"No, what you mean, Michael, is you want to sit there and laugh your ass off, like you always do when I tell it."
Well, it's funny! So sue me!
"Sue Rath? On Antar? Really Michael!" Kathleen smiled just a bit. "Okay, I admit it, it is funny now. But it wasn't then… not to me… or to Agent Moss. Stevens called us both into his office to discuss Max's blood sample…"
"Did you find anything unusual?"
"Unusual? Nooooo! He's PREGNANT, you imbeciles! You brought me a urine sample… from a pregnant WOMAN!
I felt my senses reel, and I had to find a place to sit down. Moss just stood there, his mouth flapping like a fish out of water but nothing coming out.
"Are you s-s-sure you tested the right sample?" I asked.
Stevens glared at me. I guess he was sure.
I shrugged. "Well, he is an alien… isn't he?"
"Agent Topolsky! If you failed to get the blood sample, I would think that you would be professional enough to admit that you failed… not try to pass off a… from a pregnant…"
Steven's voice failed him momentarily.
"But the sample was red," Agent Moss managed to croak, "Not yellow."
Stevens took a deep breath and tried to relax his already pulsing neck veins. "You put something in it… the lab couldn't identify what it was. It seems to be a derivative of Tabasco sauce. Idiots! You couldn't even get real blood! If you were trying to put something over on me in order to save your butts it's not going to work. I should have the two of you drummed out of the agency, but unfortunately I still need you. Find that blood sample… or get me another one… this time, the real one, agents, from the real subject, Max Evans, not from a… a… a… I can't even say it. You are both this close to leaving the agency under unfavorable circumstances. Do you understand what I'm saying, agents? Being removed… with extreme prejudice."
"I'm all over it, sir!"
"You'd better be, Topolsky! Now get out of here!"
Agent Moss and I hurried out of Stevens' office. I had never seen Stevens this angry before.
"I hope you can follow through on that promise, Agent Topolsky," Moss said to me outside, "Because the alternative won't be pleasant for either of us."
I nodded. "I know. Getting drummed out of the agency would really screw up my résumé."
Moss looked at me like I was a moron… and I guess I was, knowing what I know now. "No, Agent Topolsky, it will not look good on your résumé. Agent Kathleen Topolsky… Deceased. Cause: Classified. 'Removed with extreme prejudice,' Agent Topolsky, means removed permanently… very permanently."
I closed my eyes and swallowed hard. I wanted to argue that we don't do things like that here, but deep inside I knew… This was a secret unit… a "special" unit… meaning we didn't exist as far as most others, even within the FBI itself, knew. We were outside the pale of accepted norms… outside the boundaries of accountability. We were renegades in our own system, even if we considered it to be for a good cause. There is no protection for those of us who are out on the limb… especially if we're stupid enough to saw that limb off while we're sitting on it. Of course, Michael did help with that.
"It was all for a good cause, Kathleen… saving our asses."
Kathleen nodded ever so slightly and then smiled in spite of the memories. "Well, at the time, I would have liked to have landed on top of you when that limb fell, Michael. But now… I'm thankful to you and Max… and the rest of you… for giving me a chance for a new life… a good life… here with you… and Jim. I didn't know it then, but my time was already up and the clock was ticking off the final minutes. If it hadn't been this case that ended it, it would have been something else. It's not the kind of unit you just resign from. There are too many secrets you take with you."
I knew what she meant. And I was actually glad that Kathleen was here on Antar now… and on our side… never more so than a couple of years back, when we found out that the Ghors had kidnapped all our children and were selling them. Kathleen kicked Ghor butt! I was glad we had our own FBI agent then… and one with a great kick at that!
"Michael!"
"Yeah, Jim?"
"Just for the record, Kathleen does have one hell of a kick. I seem to remember almost getting a concussion myself once when I was sheriff. But it wasn't a kick that put Hosk in the hospital. Kath was aiming for his stomach… with her fist. Hosk never was as bright as a 15-watt light bulb, and when he saw her fist coming, he puffed his chest out and pulled himself up to his full 9-foot height. That made Kath's punch fall a little low, to his regret. Anyway, it was all caught on film by a Xarian news team. After that, especially for the first year or so, everywhere we went, we were stopped by people wanting her autograph… or just wanting to hug her. She didn't actually get the kids back all by herself. All of you guys… all of us did. But she was like this symbol for what everybody on Antar wanted to do to Hosk. And she actually did it."
I've still got that video clip, Jim. It was a great moment. I think everybody on Antar has it. It was a great seller for a long time… still is. I think when I get back to the house, I'm going to watch it again. Getting back to the story, though… I knew that the FBI would try again to get some of Max's blood. The only question was how… and when. I had successfully palmed the real sample, which I got rid of… permanently… with extreme prejudice. But we decided that we needed to give the FBI something or they'd never stop trying. We had to give them a real blood sample, but not from one of us. It had to be human. So Isabel turned to Liz…
We can take some of your blood, Liz.
It can't be mine. They can tell male from female blood.
Then we need to find a guy.
"Alex!" Isabel and Maria both said at once, looking at each other.
I still wish I could have been there to see Alex's face when Liz told him she and Maria needed his blood. He must have thought he'd finally discovered what they were hiding… they were vampires! Come to think of it, we should have told Kyle we were vampires back at the motel when he popped in and kept demanding to know what we were all up to. He probably would have believed it with all the crap that had been going on! Just stand still Kyle and lean your head over a bit this way… Aaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhh! Yeah, that's what we should have done!
"Funny, Guerin! Ha! Ha!"
I'm glad you agree, Kyle. Anyway, Alex was definitely, um, lacking enthusiasm for the idea of being a blood donor… especially since the girls wouldn't tell him what it was for. But I have to give him credit, he came through for us… not happily, but, hey! He came through! Isabel drew the blood, then back at the hospital, I replaced the vial I had taken earlier with the one with Alex's blood in it and put Max's name on it again using a little special alien "voodoo" to redo the bar code and name just like they had been.
In the waiting room, Alex was still demanding to know why we needed to replace Max's blood with his. He suspected all kinds of things. But I doubt he ever considered aliens as one of the possibilities. Liz was trying to calm him down…
Alex, wait…
I've been waiting, Liz. And apparently I'm not going to get an explanation.
It's complicated, okay?
No, no… It's not okay, Liz. None of this is okay.
Alex, look, you've gotta trust me.
What is it… drugs? Is that what this is? You and Max go out for a drive, he gets wasted, almost kills you both. That's what I'm covering for, isn't it?
Alex…
You can't use Michael's blood because he's just as high. So who do you call? You call on your buddy, Alex… stupid, straight Alex who does everything you say 'cause he's such a loyal friend that you lie to and you use whenever you can.
It's not true.
Then tell me the truth, Liz… for once.
You're right. It's drugs.
Well, that did get Alex to stop asking… for the moment… but Isabel wasn't too thrilled when Max told her what Liz had said. She just groaned…
Great. That'll be a lot easier to explain to Mom and Dad. Let's go. Mom's waiting in the car.
Max and Isabel left with their parents, but as Maria and I were getting into Maria's car, Maria remembered that she'd left her purse on the table in Max's hospital room, and her keys were in the purse. I told her to go ahead and get in and I'd get the purse and keys. When I went back in Max's room, I saw this shadow that looked like someone searching for something behind the curtain, so I pulled open the curtain. It was Agent Moss and another agent disguised as medics, and they were looking through the trash.
Forgot her purse, I said, holding up the purse.
"How do you know they weren't medics," Isabel asked… when we were back at the house.
I'm telling you, it was the same guy… the one that followed me into the CrashDown the other night. He was going through the garbage. And the other guy, the one I saw looking for blood, he was going through Max's charts.
There's nothing for them to find, Max said.
This time. But this is the closest call we've ever had.
Max looked contrite. I'm sorry.
It wasn't your fault, Max, Isabel said, shaking her head.
I nodded in agreement. I didn't say that. But somebody's closing in on us. And unless we do something about it…
The only thing we can do is run, Isabel said, finishing my sentence.
I shook my head. No, that's not true. We can figure them out before they figure us out.
Whoa! had I just said that? Me? Michael Guerin? The guy who wanted to leave Roswell forever when Max healed Liz? I just realized that at some point I had undergone a radical change in perspective. It must be this Avenger persona, I thought to myself. It's giving me a different outlook. Then I shook my head. No… it was having Maria and Liz on our side. It was trusting in somebody. They gave me a feeling of belonging, especially Maria… a feeling like we should fight for what we had. At least, we didn't have to give up and just run.
This is already so out of control, Michael, and you just wanna make it worse?
I wanna know my enemy. That's the only chance we'll ever have.
Later that night, Agent Topolsky met with Moss and asked him about the new blood sample he had snatched. He had had it tested himself this time… before giving it to Stevens… just to be sure.
It came back normal. I think something might've happened.
What do you mean?
Well, there were five of them… and they kept coming in and out of his room a lot.
Doing what?
I'm not sure. But they brought another one in… tall kid, kind of wiry.
Alex!
I think they switched blood samples.
We really hadn't realized that the FBI might figure out where the sample came from and come down hard on Alex to try to make him talk. We had only figured on a little blood being his sole contribution. But Topolsky called him in and pretended to already know what he had done and why he had done it. She did everything short of threatening to have him arrested if he didn't talk, though she didn't phrase it that way. She was trying to get him on her side by making him think that we were using him. She even slipped something into his drink that made his nose start bleeding, then she followed him and slipped into the men's room after he had left so she could get the bloody towels and have his blood compared to the blood in the vial Moss had stolen from the hospital. I remember thinking later, after we found out that Topolsky was FBI, that it was a really good thing that we hadn't told Alex anything. He couldn't tell the FBI what he didn't know, right? But looking back on it now, I wonder. At least, if he had known what he was doing for us and what he was up against, he could have defended himself… made up some kind of logical excuse or something.
We didn't really know, yet, that Topolsky was FBI. She was still pretending to be the school guidance counselor. But we knew that the first thing we needed to do was find out everything we could about whoever was onto us. So we decided to check out this Moss guy and find out who he was working with. Max and Liz pretended to window shop and then walked into the UFO center, letting him follow them around for a while to be sure that he really was following them. Maria, Isabel, and I were waiting outside the UFO center to tail him when we came out. Maria was driving.
Not too close, I said.
Relax. God, you guys act like I've never tailed someone before.
Maria started to drive out in reverse, and Isabel grinned…
Subtle, he'll never notice us going backwards.
We followed Moss to the motel where he was staying and waited for him to leave again so we could check out his room. Waiting was not our strong suit, but finally, our impatience paid off. I told Maria to act as a lookout with Isabel, which didn't sit too well with Maria. She wanted to come in and search the room with me. I told her to keep looking out the window, but she had other ideas.
You know, this is the second time you've dragged me to some cheap motel.
Yeah, well, don't spread it around. You'll ruin my reputation.
What exactly are you looking for?
ID maybe… something to tell us about this guy?
Luggage tags?
No tags.
You know, Michael, uh, toiletries say a lot about a man, which, by the way, you should take note of, but I'm guessing you will have more luck by the phone. You know… notepads, messages, that sort of thing.
Just keep looking out the window, would you?
Listen… any babysitter worth her salt knows that the best place to look is in the garbage can. It's always revealing.
Moss. His name's Moss, I said.
First name or last name?
I don't know.
Keep looking, Sherlock… What? What is it?
Looks like a phone number… local.
Maria picked up the phone and dialed the number.
What are you doing?
You want to find out who's on the other end of the line, don't you?
Topolsky. Hello?
Maria hung up the phone quickly, looking like she'd seen a ghost.
That was Ms. Topolsky… Ms. Topolsky, as in school Ms. Topolsky. Alright, either she's taking her job way too seriously, or she's not exactly a guidance counselor.
So now we knew. Topolsky was more than she was pretending to be. This was serious. There was no way of knowing what she might have found out about us or how much damage had already been done. But we had to stop her… soon. So we concocted a plan to out her.
Thanks for coming, Alex.
Hi, Liz. I've met you here at the CrashDown a thousand times, but it just doesn't feel the same. You know?
Yeah. I know. Alex. You've been my friend since Ms. Elmer's class in the fifth grade.
No, no, no. We actually met in fourth, but you didn't notice me till fifth.
Yes, and I've come to you with every problem I've ever had.
Until now.
No, even now. What happened at that hospital with Max, that was like the most important thing I ever had to do in my life. And I called you. Alex, this is the hardest thing I have ever asked anyone to do. Look, I need you… I need you to believe in me, even though I can't… I can't tell you what you want to know.
Because of Max.
No, forget Max, Alex. This is between us. Look, I told you before this was complicated. Well, maybe it's not. There is a right side, and there is a wrong side. And if you choose the wrong side right now, Alex, something really terrible is gonna happen… to all of us. I am begging you, Alex. If five years of friendship have meant anything to you, please trust me. I swear to you, I am on the right side.
888888888888888
Alex knocked on Topolsky's door and went into her office.
I've thought about what you said, and I'm not worried about me right now. It's Liz. Look. If… if I do this, if I give you what you want, what happens to her? I mean, what… what do your friends do?
She'll be questioned. They'll probably want to do some medical tests to make sure she wasn't harmed in any way.
But no… no police, right?
No.
But if… if they're involved in drugs then… It is drugs, isn't it?
Just write down everything that happened at the hospital, and we'll take it from there.
At that moment, Liz knocked on Topolsky's door.
Is something wrong, Liz?
Can I see you for a second, Ms. Topolsky… privately? It's really important.
I'll be right back, Alex. You can go ahead and start that project we were talking about.
So, Liz, what's the emergency?
Look, I don't know what Alex has been telling you, but there is something you should know.
I'm listening.
It's just that, uh, Alex… he's sort of changed all of a sudden. I don't know. It's like… like he's paranoid or something. See, we've been friends forever, and this year I have made some new friends, and I just think that… that he's feeling a little hurt. Has he ever said anything to you about this at all?
Liz, you know I can't discuss my counseling sessions with other students. That wouldn't be right.
Yeah, I know. I understand that. It's just that I'm afraid that he might be saying some things to you that… that could really hurt somebody.
We both know Alex. I think we can trust that he'll do the right thing, don't you?
But you don't understand his state of mind right now.
Let's let Alex speak for himself, okay? Now I really should get back to him.
No, wait. Ms. Topolsky, wait! I mean… can't we just talk about this some more?
Topolsky turned and stared at Liz, and the look on her face told Liz that she had figured out what was going on. The charade was over. Liz was keeping her out of her office while Alex… while Alex what? Topolsky rushed back into her office. Alex was sitting at her desk with her laptop open in front of him. He slowly turned it around so that she and Liz could both see the screen… and the logo of the FBI and Department of Justice. Topolsky had been outed. For her, this assignment was over.
888888888888888
"You know, Michael, a thought occurred to me."
"What's that?"
"When the sheriff calls me into his office this time and accuses me of being your accomplice… he'll be right."
"He won't know about the motel."
"Yeah, well, all the same, I am your accomplice now. I'm in over my head."
"You can always get out."
"Not on your life!"
I smiled. "If Valenti asks you anything, just act dumb."
"What's that supposed to mean?"
Suddenly, red flashing lights were going off in my mind. I knew I was stepping onto thin ice, and I had to judge my next words very carefully…
"You know… pretend you don't know anything. If I can do it, you can do it."
"Oh."
"Or better yet, just use some of that Maria gobbledygook on him. He won't know what hit him."
"Maria Gobbledygook?"
"Yeah, you know, the way you talk when you get all excited… no one can figure out what you're saying."
"Is that what you think, Michael… I'm an airhead?"
"I didn't say that. Actually, it's kind of brilliant… in its own way. I never knew anyone else who could do that before I met you. You're… unique."
"Yeah? Well, I would say the same about you, but since there aren't that many aliens running around here, I guess that's kind of obvious. There aren't, are there?"
"What?"
"A lot of other aliens running around out there."
"Not that I know of. So you think I'm… unique?"
Maria didn't answer, she just planted a long kiss on my lips and then grinned. "I don't do that to every alien I meet."
End of Episode 107
tbc…