This is absolute crap, and has no purpose whatsoever really. I just wanted to write. So, you people got an update, a lame one, but it's an update.

I blame certain people for my lack of creativity today. Because they say things, then send stupid texts, then get all offended when my best friend says something to them. Pathetic.

I still own nothing. Sadly. All characters belong to Shonda and Co. She's a legend in her own way.

Read, review.

Laying in bed beside Addison, silence filling the air between them wasn't something Derek liked at all. In fact, he hated it. Absolutely hated it. It wasn't even a comfortable silence either, it was a horrible one. Not so much awkward, it just wasn't right. Derek wanted to talk, but he wasn't sure it would help things at all. They'd pretty much been silent since he'd found out about the abortion. Their room service had arrived shortly after, they'd picked at the pizza, leaving most of it where it was, before both agreeing to go to bed.

Now, an hour later, they were both laying side by side staring up at the ceiling. They never slept like this, which was why they both knew that the other was awake. Addison usually curled up on her side facing Derek, or like the past few weeks had been, curled up with his arm around her. Derek either slept on his side facing away from Addison, or with his arm around her even then he was facing her slightly. They never just laid on their backs staring at the ceiling when they were trying to sleep.

"Say something." Addison whispered, wiping another tear from her cheek, somewhat pleased that Derek couldn't see it.

"I don't know what to say." He answered truthfully, turning his head to face her slightly. "What do you want me to say, Addison?"

"Anything. I think even you yelling would be better than this silence, and I hate it when you yell at me." The red head turned her face to look at him, smiling weakly as she caught his eye.

Derek couldn't help but smile as he looked at her, she looked beautiful, even with the darkness of the room, he could still see how beautiful she was. Her comment had helped along with the smile too. "You want me to yell at you?"

"It would be better than this. I hate you yelling, but this silence, it's not nice." This time, she rolled onto her side and faced him, her hand lightly brushing against his. She didn't want to push him too far, so it would be one step at a time. That was providing that Derek didn't decide to run. "What are you thinking about?" Addison lifted her head up to look at him more easily, letting her head rest on the palm of her hand, her elbow holding her head up.

Derek let out a sigh at Addison's question, and he turned his head to look back up at the ceiling, moving his hand closer to Addison's, so they were touching lightly. "That things could be easier. That this is gonna take a lot more work than I first thought." Derek paused for a second, but before he could continue, Addison interrupted.

"That things would be easier if I hadn't shown up and you could've continued your life with her."

"No!" Derek answered immediately, no hesitation, this time he looked at her, taking hold of her hand and giving it the smallest of squeezes. "No. Even if that was the case, that things would be easier if I was with her, that's not what I want. I want you. Whether you slept with Mark six months ago or not, whether you aborted his child or not. I want you, Addison Forbes Montgomery-Shepherd." There was a lot more emphasis on the 'Shepherd' than the rest of her name, he knew that. But he needed to make her realise that as tough as things were, they'd do it, they'd make it.

It just made Addison feel worse though, with how understanding he was being, she was wanting him to yell now, wanting him to fight for their marriage properly. But at least he hadn't walked away, at least he wasn't avoiding the conversation, even if there wasn't any yelling. "Do you ever regret choosing me?" She asked softly, unsure of his reaction.

He couldn't help but roll his eyes at her question, and he turned onto his side, mirroring her position, taking hold of her hand with his other one now. "No. Well, at first, I had no idea what I wanted. Like we've established before, it was an obligation. But since that, since choosing you for that stupid reason, I've realised just how much I've missed you. How I missed this, the talking, the little sarcastic remarks from you, seeing your smile at something you read in a magazine. How your eyes light up every single time you watch Mary Poppins, even though I consider it a kids movie. I wouldn't want anything else."

"You know a little while ago, you mentioned something about you being my charming husband?"

"You agree with me." Derek said, a smug grin on his face as he looked at her.

"Shut up." Addison moved her hand from his and playfully hit him, a smile on her face as she looked at him. "You're not bad, I guess."

"You find me charming." He teased, feeling Addison's body move closer to his own and he wrapped his arm around her.

"You're too full of yourself. But thank you for talking to me, for not running, I don't know what I'd do if you walked away again." The tears were back, she couldn't help it, she didn't deserve him, at least she didn't feel like she did. If he was sticking by her side after that, then maybe things would be all right after all.

"I'm not walking away, Addison. I'm here, I'm laying in bed with the woman I love, because I screwed up before and as much as I hate the thought of you with him, and you being pregnant with his child. I'm gonna have to deal with it, because I can't let you go. I don't want to. We both have things we need to work on, but we're gonna get there. We're gonna make it. Promise." Derek pressed his lips against the top of her head softly, holding her tightly against his chest, and as soon as he felt the tears against him, he knew there was no stopping her now. "Try not to cry yourself to sleep, just try to sleep. We'll talk more tomorrow."

"Tomorrow." Addison agreed, her head buried into his chest, taking in a deep breath, she loved how he smelt, she had no idea what it was about him, she'd just always loved how he smelt. It was a comfort thing. "G'night, Derek." She mumbled against his chest, wrapping her arm around him tightly.

"Goodnight, Addie." He whispered, his eyes closing slowly, he wanted her to fall asleep first, but he wasn't sure it was going to happen. What he was sure about though, was the two of them making things with.

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One more day. They only had one more day at work, before they had a day off, and it was one of those crazy days which didn't give Derek a chance to stop for five minutes. Even when he did, he tried to talk to Addison, but one of them ended up getting called away. They'd fallen asleep in one anothers arms, and woken up the same way. They didn't have time to talk about anything, so their usual morning banter passed between the two as they got ready for work, laughing at one anothers attempts at jokes. It was their morning routine.

Well, technically it wasn't one more day anymore, it was an hour left until the end of Derek's shift and he knew Addison was there for another hour after that. As he stood at the nurses station, he heard an all too familiar voice calling his name, and with a sigh and an eye roll, Derek looked up to see his sister; Nancy making her way in his direction. He hated unexpected visitors, especially when it was one of his sisters.

"Nancy." He tried to sound cheerful, but he knew he failed miserably.

"Well, I'm always happy to see my big brother too." She teased as she held out her arms, enveloping Derek in a hug. "Hey." She said, this time quieter than before as she pulled away. "Where's Addie?"

As soon as Nancy asked the question, Derek realised that he didn't actually know, which was strange, because he'd known where she had been all day, up until now. "I don't know." He answered honestly, his eyes searching around the two of them for her.

"You haven't upset her again, have you?" Nancy questioned, looking at her brother, not wanting to yell at him in the middle of the hospital, but if she had to, then she would. She loved Addison like a sister, and she hated how Derek had treated her in the past.

"No. We've got things to talk about, but I think we're alright. We've been fine all day."

"Wow. A whole day, big brother. I'm proud of you." Nancy's sarcasm caught up with her, and she laughed at the glare she got from Derek.

"She told me about Mark last night, so things aren't perfect. But we're making thing work." He said seriously, wanting her to understand why he wasn't completely sure that things were alright with him and Addison. "I'm assuming you've known about it all along?"

"She was a mess." Nancy said quietly, before pulling her brother away from the prying ears of everyone around them, searching for an empty conference room for them to talk in. As she found one, Nancy pushed open the door and walked in, waiting for the door to close completely before she began to talk. "She was a wreck after you jetted off to the other side of the country. Mark was there, he was by her side. He's not the best guy, but he was there when you weren't. Even before you left, he was there. Anniversaries, birthdays, Christmas, he was there for it all. Addison didn't want to believe that what you had was over because of one night, Derek! She needed to believe that her and Mark had something."

"She said."

"We all knew they didn't, but he brought a smile to her face. It wasn't the one that was there each time you looked at her, and complimented her, but it was something. You broke her, he tried to put things back together. As for the baby, we all make mistakes. She didn't want Mark's baby, and even though it fucking hurt him when she had the abortion, it was the right thing to do. Mark was fucking crazy about Addison and the baby, and for some reason, when I speak to him now, he asks how you're doing." Nancy shook her head in disbelief the fact that Mark still cared about Derek, but the two had always been close.

"We all screwed up, the three of us. Somehow, we're all as bad as each other, for different reasons. I'm not screwing this up again, that woman you call one of your best friends, I love her. I'd do anything for her, absolutely anything." A quiet conversation had turned into an argument, thankfully, it wasn't one of their full blown ones which everyone would be able to hear. At least, not yet. "Addison is my wife. I made the stupid decision of going back to her because of an obligation, that's not a good reason. But we've spent time together, we're getting back on track, we're talking to each other. Going back to her for the reason I did was wrong. But it's not that anymore, I'm with her because I'm in love with her. Because even with this whole Mark thing, or my whole Meredith thing, I want Addison. I want to spend the rest of my life with Addison."

"You said that?" Nancy asked, somewhat surprised.

"What?"

"That it was an obligation."

"Maybe not in so many words, but we both knew it. We've talked about that though, it's forgotten. We're together because we want to be. Like I said, I'd do anything for that woman, absolutely anything." Derek was stopped by the sound of the door opening, and a pale looking Addison entering the room.

A smile appeared on all three of their faces and Addison glanced from Derek to Nancy, then back to Derek. "Anything?" She questioned as she moved closer to him, reaching for his hand.

"Anything."

"God, are you two about to break into song and start singing that thing from Oliver? I'd do anything or whatever it is?" Nancy asked, shaking her head at the pair of them.

"No, I just wanted to know if he'd go back to New York." Addison said looking at Nancy until the last two words when she looked back up at her husband.

"You want to go back?" Derek asked, giving her hand a gentle squeeze.

"I don't know. I don't think so, as long as we don't have to live in a trailer forever." She leant against his shoulder, closing her eyes as she gripped his hand even tighter.

"Anything." Derek whispered as he pressed the top of his lips against Addison's head, his free arm moving around her waist as he pulled her close to himself.

"You two make me sick. I think I liked you better when you were fighting."

Addison laughed softly at Nancy's words, looking up at her husband with a smile on her face. "We still fight. Because we have something worth fighting for now."

"We definitely do." Derek agreed, nodding his head, completely forgetting Nancy was in the room until her voice filled it, annoyance in her tone.

"Alright, can we please get away from this place? Addison isn't looking so great, so wherever you guys are staying, living or whatever is fine with me." Nancy suggested moving back towards the door.

"I feel fine, Nance." Addison argued weakly, not moving out of Derek's grip as he held her tightly.

"As much as I hate agreeing with her, Nancy is right, you don't look so good." Derek moved ever so slightly away from Addison, placing his hand on her forehead and raising his eyebrow slightly at her. "You don't feel so great either."

As Addison looked between two of the Shepherd siblings, she knew she was fighting a losing battle, still she could hope. "Fine. Let me go and get changed and we can go back to the hotel."

"I'll come with you. Us girls need some alone time before Derek is back around. Plus, I'm not letting you go anywhere by yourself looking as pale as you do."

Addison let out a reluctant sigh as she moved away from Derek towards Nancy, glancing back at her husband one last time before she was led out of the door. There was a part of her that was glad Nancy was around, but another part just wanted her alone time with Derek.

Maybe I have a thing for musicals, I can't help it.

I don't actually know why I brought Nancy into it, I was tempted to bring Mark into it. But I decided that can wait.

Review. I know it's bad, but I'd appreciate something anyway.

And I know you people want sex, it'll happen. But I'm far too tired to type up something like that at the moment, but it's going to happen. Though it might not be for a few more chapters, all depending on how I feel when I start doing the rest.