Sesshomaru's breaths were rapid fire, his eyes shut in agony as his whole body felt constricted and numb. Never had he experienced anything so painfully sweet, so excruciatingly wonderful that it made him melancholy just reflecting on the past night. His whole body felt lit and flickered to an irregular beat: as did his heart and throbbing head. He felt dizzy with the feeling, his legs were reduced to mere lead sticks and he burned in places he never thought much about. Nor had he thought any other woman did neither…
Finally leaning against the limb of that darn solid oak tree, the overwhelming emotion began to tame but still left him breathless as he squeezed on the edge of his Tokijin. He wasn't sure what he was expecting to do with it exactly, but somewhere lurking in his mind he knew that death was much better than this emotion he was feeling now.
That startled, flustered expression on her face was enough to make him wince as he dashed away. She looked utterly hurt, and somehow her vulnerability had hit him in ways he did not think possible. No woman could affect this Sesshomaru. Especially not a human girl, and of her stature as well! The one girl who he had raised himself and become something of a father to… Or had he really? In all honesty Jaken was more her father than he. He did nothing to care for her, or comfort her, or scold her as any good father would. In some ways he was useless to her being, yet, she stuck to him like glue on paper and it never really bothered him much.
Why had he sheltered the girl to begin with? Possibly the same idiot reason he took Jaken in. But no, this girl was very different. Unlike Jaken she had nowhere to run, and it wasn't as if it was his choice for the girl to come; after all, she was the one who tagged along without asking. But he never made any protests either, and all those times she had gotten herself kidnapped he could've let her die.
He grimaced again at the thought, realizing he had pulled out Tokijin. He scowled again, thinking that her expression, however deeply hurt was no reason to kill his own self over. Especially not for a girl he could hardly give a damn about. Surely she was fine with Kohaku, no, she was better off; all her pain would rush away and she'd be a happy woman once more. The very word "woman" brought on a marble-like façade. He still saw Rin as a little girl to him, a very attractive little girl.
Shutting his eyes, he let the thoughts die and was soon comforted by nothing but silence. The leaves rustled in the surrounding branches and very slowly the sun began to rise. Not once did he move, not a single muscle twitched or an eyelash battered as the sun began to peak its head into the sky. He was as motionless as a rock, still as a puddle, and glassier than a reflection as if his whole body shut down. His white-silver hair glistened in the morning light that revealed the golden tints within his fair complexion. His sharp nose angled into the air, the nostrils were still despite the deep breaths you could hear him engulfing.
His mouth, though thick and luscious, were thinned and pursed now. His usually soft face, even if it had sharp features, had a pained expression, but still he did not move. Not even flicker. At first glance, he seemed dead, furry white pelt swinging downwards from the limb. His white kimono rustled in the breeze and bits of his hair tickled at his face. He did not brush at them. He did not move.
The world sounded deafeningly silent. Sesshomaru did not move. He was not asleep, but he was not awake either. He wasn't dead, but you can't say he was fully alive either. He was stuck in his own world, stuck far from memories, far into the reaches of his mind where he contemplated the only women he ever really truly loved: his mother. Then slowly her image began to fade, and was replaced with that of a new woman.
Her hair was thick midnight, her eyes were that of mud but stars within them. Her face was the pale moon, her hands like long, thin branches reaching out to stroke one's flesh. Her smile… Her smile glistened like a reflection in a river and the expression on her face resembled a bubbly, almost content peace you'd expect of mother Earth herself. But the gaze she gave Sesshomaru as he laid on his back, staring up at her, was indescribable.
Finally, Sesshomaru twitched, an eye peaking open and at last his whole body reacting as well, moving simultaneously as he lifted himself up. His amber eyes scanned the area, the sun was fully raised and was almost high in the sky: near noon. He had lain there for hours.
Slipping Tokijin back into its sheath, he swung his legs over the branch then dropped down with a light thud, his hair flailing out around him before swaying back down to his shoulders and past. His face was stoic once more, his eyes cold. He no longer felt anything, no longer thought about Rin, Jaken, emotions, or death. He was the Lord Sesshomaru he was originally and all he could think about now was Naraku. It was his main focus to get his revenge.
His sharp, angled ears trembled in the air as if he was trying to pick out Naraku's voice, knowing very well he wouldn't hear it, but still it was worth something. Almost immediately he heard a woman's voice. She was singing, softly as if shy but her voice was melodic and sweet like honey. She was a good singer. He scowled. Not like he cared…
"Arasoi
wa mada tsuzukun darou
dono
michi ima ga taisetsu na no sa
gamushara
ni natte miotoshite kita mono
tatoeba dare ka no yasashii hohoemi mo"
((this
dispute will probably go on
about
that which is most precious
I've
become a rebel, I've overlooked things
even the gentle smiles of strangers))
Rin sighed, crossing her arms around her as she shuddered. Oddly enough, the day was warm and she was not cold so she had no idea why she had. But she did not question such an oddity, instead wishing to go see Jaken as soon as possible. She had hoped his condition had improved some, even if it had just been one day and she was hoping that maybe she could help Kaede in some way. Surely she was a very busy priestess.
"You sing beautifully," came a deep but smooth voice beside her and she shot a startled glare in his direction.
"Kohaku." She acknowledged, her voice a little shaky from just being frightened but she was quickly regaining her composure. How had he snuck up on her like that? She didn't even hear him approach. He was surely a master demon slayer.
"Yes?" his voice was playful but cautious and she could feel him burning a hole into her skin with his dark eyes.
"What are you doing following me?"
A smile crinkled the freckles around his nose as he rubbed at the back of his neck, the ponytail swishing at his hand as he opened his mouth partially to speak. Then he closed it, obviously deciding that what he was about to say probably wasn't the smartest. Not even looking at him Rin could tell he was having some sort of emotional battle within himself and she debated just jumping in to ease his agony but he finally spoke: changing the subject.
"Where're you heading?"
Rin paused, looking over to him and shrugging. She knew where she was going but she did not want to be near him now. Did not want to be so close to him with her body still rattled from her thoughts of Sesshomaru. She feared that if he touched her she might light them both on fire and then what would happen? There would be two burning bodies that is what. And that would be something they did not need.
Finally, Rin sighed heavily, deciding perhaps that she should visit Jaken another time. Kohaku seemed persistent in his following, and would obviously not be one too willing to allow her to have a bit of privacy with the toadyish imp. So, giving up completely, she moved her way over to a porch and sat down. The house was empty.
The demon slayer took a seat beside her, chocolate-brown eyes cast to the ground but he looked somewhat confused and nervous. He obviously had something on his mind that he was not so willing to share, but even still he could at least say something to break the thick, but awkward silence between them. However the will to keep from talking was reciprocated between them: both were careful not to speak.
The wind lashed at their hair, moving it in front of their faces like whips but neither moved. Nor did they bother to curse the wind, very caught up in each his own thoughts. Sun cascading down golden gleams on their faces, heating their skin to the point of flushing, seconds turning to minutes, minutes feeling like a lifetime sitting there with the warmth of nature kissing their bodies. It was only when the birds became awkwardly silent and the usual bustle of animals seemed to knowingly hush themselves that Kohaku even opened his mouth to speak.
"Rin," his voice was quiet, barely audible as the girl was still recovering from daydreams, "Rin have you ever felt like you were so in love with someone that all you wanted to do was be with that person like any normal family would? To marry that person, leave past lives dead, create a family and grow happy together? To live and then die, knowing very well that you lived happily and your legend will live on, not only in your kids but the one you loved so simply? Have you Rin?"
She was quiet for sometime, dark-colored brown eyes glaring down at Kohaku in thought, as if trying to comprehend the status of his question. Then she finally pulled away glances, casting eyes down to the ground as she chuckled lightly. Her hands as an automatic reaction balled beside her before she finally spoke.
"No Kohaku," she answered simply and his eyes cast a hurt look her way, but she was not finished, "I've been in love with what's wild. I've been in love with passion and fury, anything but the norm. I don't want to leave the past dead; I want it to make my future. I want to be happy, family or not I will always have one. I don't want to simply die, don't want to think about growing old and being happy, leaving my love one alone to simply stare at my grave. My legend will not live on. I will not be happy. Not until I can tame the heat that is the love I want and know tears are what I will get."
She stared at him; her eyes deadpan and they gave Kohaku a slight shiver. He gave her a small smile, straightening up in his seat and nodding, crossing his hands into his lap and giving a sideways glance to Rin. He was only silent a few moments longer before he spoke again.
"Rin?"
Her gaze became more intent on him and he smiled. He was still so handsome, voice still so smooth and milky.
"Rin, can I ask who it is that you love?"
She didn't hesitate this time as she replied, "A beast. A passionate beast that soon I will not be able to experience anymore. Never again…"
He seemed unsatisfied with this answer; obviously he was going to be truly hurt later. But perhaps waiting so long was the wrong thing to do. Kohaku wanted her to say his name so bad that I guess he allowed himself to inaccurately fill in the blanks. Sure, she masked her words more carefully than usual, but only because who she truly loved was Sesshomaru-sama. And had Kohaku known that before it came time to tell him then he'd be hurt wouldn't he?
As he lifted from his seat to return to work, Rin rose up as well, hand shooting into the air to stop him as she called out his name. He halted and turned. She opened her mouth to speak then shut it. She couldn't grasp the strength to break his heart. Not now, not later. She smiled weakly at him.
"B-be careful." She finally managed to make up, and a small smile faltered at the edges of Kohaku's lips as he nodded and continued. Rin sighed. She sagged back into her seat and covered her face with her hands, scolding herself to be so reckless.
Sesshomaru said nothing from his spot above, simply sitting there in his quiet agony, despairing every minute he watched the girl. He cursed mentally.
"Damn humans," he thought.
A/N: Well that's it for this chapter. Hope you enjoyed it. I got writer's block along the way and had to quit but eventually I got back to it. Anywayz, thank you to all my readers and please R&R! I lurve all joo guys! . Signed: Your D.O.L author Kit-chan.