Lock your children up. It's the only way to avoid all of this *wink wink*

Him

My body won't stop moving. In fact, nothing on me is standing at a complete still. My head is spinning. My eyes are rotating behind my closed eyelids. And my hip keeps being jerked to the side. It's when it's kicked particularly hard that I yell out, swatting at the offending boot.

"Fuck off!"

Emmett chuckles. "Dude, I can see your ass."

I groan, burying my face deeper into the scratchy warmth. "Then don't look."

"So can Jessica and Rosie." Um…

"Hi, Edward."

And then, "Nice to meet you."

Assholes. All of them.

Brown tufts of dead grass greet me, and my dick is about to fall off from the cold. It's limp eye stares up at me from the cold dirt as if saying, "Fuck you, you fucking motherfucker."

"Good night, Eddie-boy?" Emmet asks, kicking my jeans toward me. They fall around my legs in a flurry of dead brown.

I sit up, rubbing my aching head, trying to pull my legs in, but my boxers tangled around my ankles prevent me from doing so. "Fuck you."

"Jesus, dude. Now we can see your dick!"

I shrug, the hurt in my body making me not give a flying fuck about what part of me is on display. The girls don't seem to mind either.

"I'm glad Mike let me sleep in his bed." Jessica laughs, covering her mouth before smirking. "Though I wouldn't mind a chance with that monster."

Said monster twitches as if wanting to rise to the challenge but then deflates again. It's too damn cold for much of anything. "What time is it?"

"Just past eight." Emmett shrugs, wrapping his arm around the blonde girl. "Don't look, Rosie."

She doesn't listen and I curse whoever's out there for giving me a cold, limp dick in front of these two beautiful ladies. "Seriously?"

"Get the fuck off my lawn, Cullen! My parents will be home soon!" Mike yells from some window above us.

I wave him off, pulling my boxers up. "Fucking, Newton."

I stand up, pulling my jeans along with me, gratefully taking my shirt when Jessica hands it to me with a wink and a glance down my body. "Too bad," she whispers.

"Was it at least good?" Emmett asks.

Baby. All tight and brown hair and plump lips. She was perfect with her mouth and tongue and dainty little hands that brought me crashing down so hard, so good. I was dumb enough to screw up any future fucks between me and her. We would have been spectacular. I just know it.

"Yeah."

"Will you see her again?" I raise an eyebrow at him. "That sucks."

"Yeah."

"What?" Jessica asks, picking at a few blades of dead grass at my shirt before hooking her arm around mine. "Did you leave her hanging or something?"

I snort, wrapping my around her shoulders instead. "I don't make a habit of falling asleep on someone else's lawn, but dude, did chick give good head."

Jessica pinches my side. "Now that girl is out of the equation, let me have a chance with the monster."

Who the fuck is dumb enough to turn down that offer? "When and where?"