HORIZON
***UPDATED 7/1/2018: Some spelling and grammar. Listening to the audio version of this tells me you really need to concentrate on the descriptions. For example... "Ants crawling on my mind." They aren't elaborated on, but they were important to what was happening when Carlisle and Esme were touching the shield from the outside. But it was coming with other descriptions and were lost within.***
Welcome back all. I will keep this brief.
…There done! :)
( Like you were going to read it anyway.) Readers are lazy.
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Chapter 10 A-Wake
BELLA
I heard someone once say that the ringing sound you hear in your ear, after an ear-splitting shriek or boom, is the sound of a frequency that you will never hear again.
I don't know if the sound I am hearing now is proof of that, but the blood I found on my hands after removing them from my ears would most definitely be something to enter into evidence for later.
The ringing in my ear was sharp but was slowly pulling away. And the more it dulled, the more my concentration took up once again.
I was breathing rapidly, and I found the sound I was hearing internally to be hollow, cavernous, almost empty.
My mind didn't take long to put that to the side. For it had already put together another problem.
I was still bleeding.
I was bleeding from my ears, in a room filled with sanguineness' predators.
Realizing that made me quickly snapped my back against the windowsill, and began wiping myself clean with the bottom of my shirt, quickly but futilely trying to remove the temptation.
I wasn't afraid of my mate or my sister, they would never harm me by 'choice'. But I've learned my lesson thoroughly. And I knew that when it came to blood, they may not have any. Especially, when it came to my blood.
Blinded by blood-lust, and without 'reason' to guide them, I was fair game.
Using caution, I concentrated my anxiety till a thin but strong layer of shielding grew out of it. Hardening itself all over me, as I prepared to defend myself.
Now they could try all they wanted. I thought haughtily, feeling confident in my ability to hold them both at bay if I had to.
But all too soon the feeling went as it soon came. I took a look at my 'would be' assailants, curled up on the floor, body and face contorted in pain, and dropped my guard immediately.
They weren't coming after anyone.
My eyes centering on Edward, I meekly called out his name, but the sound was all wrong. Beside the amount of anxiety lace within it, causing it to crack; it sounded muffled and unfamiliar. Looking upon him in his current state, I couldn't bring myself to worry about that long.
"Edward?! I said hurrying to his side.
He was bent over his knees, forehead on the floor, faced down, mouth agape with a soundless scream, with his hands pulling at his roots.
"Edward, Edward…Edward can you hear me? Talk to me, please." I pleaded, as shook his frozen form.
I kept calling his name and tapping his back, increasingly harder with ever tap, and kept on tapping till it felt more like I was striking him.
"Edward please… say something, Please Edward talk to me." I began to sob. I was trying my best not to think the worst, to think of something else I could be doing, but fear became the architect and painter of my thoughts, constructing doom and coloring ever room black.
The idea that that he could be frozen in horror like this for good was clenching my heart and squeezing the life out of me. And what was worse, I had no what to do. This was beyond me. I needed help.
'Carlisle… I needed Carlisle' I thought selfishly. Our betrayal was still fresh. The 'cut', just made. I hadn't even given him a moment to nurse it; but yet here I was, ready to make demands of him once more.
He may not want a thing to do with us, and we would've deserved no less, but he was Edward's father, in every way that counts. And most likely would know more about what is happening here than anyone else. He would have the answers.
'He had to have them'
My eyes darted around the room, till I found it. It laid just above Alice's head, as she laid face down on the floor, faces contorted and frozen in horror in the same manner as Edward.
I was breaking all over again at the sight of her like that, but chose to focus on the task at hand, knowing it would save her too.
Scrambling over and picking up the phone, I didn't even bother with the speed dial. Urgency, caused my fingers fly over the numbers.
I sat impatiently as the phone rang, but thanked god I didn't need to wait long before my patience was rewarded.
"Bel-" I didn't even let him finish.
"Carlisle! Help! Edward - Alice… They're hurt. They're hurting somehow. I need help, please. I need help. Hurry back, please! Hurry home."
He was on his way, before I had a chance to say Alice. I heard the wind roaring over the phone before I finished my panicked tirade.
"What happened to them? What is the situation? I need details Bella."
"I don't know. We were talking. Just talking. Then… they were screaming, and then…" I paused quickly a flash thought entered my head.
Even as my world crumbled to my left and right, a single lucid thought had somehow fought against the odds and made its way through, and forced me to remember my situation. My entire situation.
"Carlisle… I… I can't... I don't know what else to say. Just… Hurry back okay. We can't talk right now." I emphasized hoping he got the message. "Please hurry home. I'll see if I remember anything else by the time you get back"
I was panicked and in trouble, but I couldn't afford to be stupid. This situation, no matter how dire, was no excuse to forget all that transpired before, and bring even more trouble down on our heads.
We have federal agents, here, in this town, and in our home this very afternoon. They sat only a few feet below where I'm standing right now, trying desperately to make a case against our family and put us all away. The memory of all that wasn't going anywhere, and were still fresh in my mind, as were the tactics they would use. For all I knew we were being monitored by the authorities right now.
"Yes of course. We're on our way…Protect them Bella. Protect them." I barely heard Carlisle instruct over the wind.
'What? Protect them? How? From who?'
He was saying something else, but the more he talked, the less I heard. My mind was already working on something else.
'Authorities - Protect them- Authorities?'
Suddenly I was reminded of something else. It had just dawned on me that the government, weren't the only 'authorities' around. They weren't the only ones watching.
Now the tortured expression on Alice's and Edwards faces held a certain familiarity to it.
"Bella? Did you hear me? Bella? Don't try to…."
*click*
I let the phone drop to the plush carpet below. I saw the air around my hands began to firm up. In an instant I found myself at the windowsill once more, but this time looking out.
Scanning the surrounding woods, I realized two things.
First thing that I noticed was a crackling sound in my ears, along with a slight sensation of heat. The more it crackled and fizzed, the hotter the sensation became. The heat was going from irritating and was approaching uncomfortable. But I didn't let it break my focus.
As it went on, I noticed that the all the other sounds of fizzing, crackling were becoming more pronounced… clearer. It became so clear in fact, I was hearing even better than I did before. I could now pick up on things on the other side of the glass.
Whatever it was that was broken; was healing. But at that moment, you couldn't find a soul in this world that could've cared less than I did. Edward was still in pain, and if he wasn't better, there was no point in me being either.
I quickly catalogued this new side effect for a later discussion, then dismissed it altogether.
The second thing that caught my attention was that, despite the darkness of the night, I was able to see if I strained hard enough.
The night held a muddy hue at the center of my sight, with darkness at its edges. The parts I could see did were luminescent, but mostly had a dirty shade of brown. I could see hints of magenta where the moonlight didn't touch, but where it did, was mostly brown.
But again, I quickly dismissed it all, because all I was really seeing was red. Jane was out there somewhere. She was doing this. She was breaking her word and came back early, and was hiding out there, torturing Edward and Alice.
Live long enough and you're bound to make a mistake or two. This was hers.
Last time I was helpless to do anything. But not this time. Not now. Now, she was dead on sight. My only task now was to see her first, just a single glimpse, and I would end it.
My eyes scanned the forest, with murderous intentions. Watching, I saw nesting birds. An owl off in the distance, its soon to be prey scurrying towards its own death, as it ran along the forest floor, unaware of the attention its movement was about to bring.
Crickets, raccoons, leaves riding the wind, pine needles shifting on the forest floor, I saw it all, but I didn't see Jane or anyone else. And that pushed my anger up even more, as I slowly had to accept being helplessness once more.
My fingers dug through the wood on the windowsill, going through it easily, as if it was going through sand. My fist was now clenched tightly around kindling that used to be part of Alice's window seat.
Looking down at my work, I un-clenched my hands, and let the fine dust fall to the ground.
Doing that simple act, brought about a moment of lucidity in my haze of madness.
I couldn't find Jane, or either of the two with her for that matter. But here they both were, in pain. 'How could that be?' I thought looking back at them.
Jane's power required direct line of sight. Edward had explained that to me after her visit. He explained to me that is why Esme had pulled the coffee table over her and Carlisle, and hid both her and Carlisle behind it. But here they were-on the floor- and Jane nowhere in sight.
'No, this has to be her fault… he is in so much pain-It has to…'
I paused then gasped. Dread fell onto me like an avalanche, as I just realized a horrible truth.
'Wait… he is in pain?'
Edward was in fact frozen in pain. ButI- wasn't.
I absentmindedly began rubbing my heart, as my breathing picked up pace.
I was his mate. The person who shared his very soul, along every minute sensation with him since our eyes met after making love. And now I was standing here, feeling… nothing.
I wasn't beside him. I wasn't curled up into a ball. I wasn't bawling or clawing my eyes out. I wasn't trying to pull out my hair like him.I wasn't doing anything.
Looking down at myself. I was standing, I was- fine. Edward was in pain, in tremendous pain, and he… was alone in his suffering.
'Our… connection… was… broken.'
And there it was. The pain I wasn't feeling. One separate from his own, but no doubt a substantial amount all the same. It came crashing over the top of me and knocked me straight to my knees.
From down there, the world began fading away quickly. Or at least significance that certain things represented.
The suffering of Alice. My anger towards Jane. The hope that Carlisle's arrival would bring. The comfort I originally intended to seek in Esme arms. All of the importance of those things were leaving me.
My mind shoved and pushed them all away, to allow all of its power and concentration to fixate on one thing. One horrifying thought. A thought that suggested to me, that if I couldn't feel Edward, it was most likely because there was nothing there to feel.
'Nothing—there—to—feel'
"No…" I whisperingly sobbed "No, no, no NOOOO!"
I felt my mind expand, veritably exploding outward; rippling through the air, instantly giving me the sensation that I was touching everything in the room; and at the same time, creating more room in my mind to allow even more assumptive horrors to occupy its spaces.
But as I raised my hand, stretching it out Edward as I began to crawl towards him, I instantly saw a blinding difference in its appearance.
It was glowing. But it wasn't the shield or the air around it, it was my hand itself. It seem to illuminate from the inside.
The inner light had no source that I could see, and it made my arm almost transparent. I could almost see straight through. I saw the blood in my muscles. The shadow beneath them, which is quickly identified as bones. Red webs of veins and capillaries. And dark grey colored my tendons and joints on my fingers and hand. But most eye catching, was the sparking of my nerves. They darted all over my forearm with every twitching muscle. They streaked around, skating up and down my muscles, bones and tendons. Leaving ribbons of white light behind them, ribbons that quickly faded after the movement was over.
But with Edward prostrated before me, even that wonder quickly lost its interest.
I wasted no more time. Weighed down by crippling fear of confirming the worst, I crawled vigorously to get to him. Calling his name in between sobs. All of which earned no response. Heightening my fear and expectation of the worse, even further.
But as I reached him and laid my translucent hand upon, his body responded in the most miraculous way.
Instantly, from the moment I touched him, the light within me, spread out within him, as if my hand splashed down, then vibrated through his entire being. It ignited him upon contact, till his inner workings, that weren't obstructed by clothing, were made as transparent as I now was.
I had no idea what I was seeing, but as it spread, new sensations began to envelop my mind. As the wake grew and covered him, I began picking up on new things from him. It was like it was externally and internally mapping him out. Minus his clothes, I was registering everything about him, except his thoughts and feelings.
Observing this new phenomenon, momentarily calmed my fears. It made me feel hopeful of a better outcome. This simple touch had actually changed something. Made me feel like I was doing, something.
Looking at this new wonder, I noticed that he glowed even brighter than me. That in of itself didn't surprise, as I thought of the wonderful being he is. But that was not the only difference. The color was different as well.
I realized the blood in me caused me to give off a red hue internally, but Edward had no blood to speak off, so he simply held shades of gray.
I quickly gave him a look over. His copper hair looked closer to white now. He himself looked to be multiple shades of grey, with some parts closer to black, and others almost white. His bones, tendons and all around skeletal frame, held the darkest hues. They looked to be shadowed, almost black, just like my own. I quickly assumed it was because they were the densest parts of him and I. His muscles held hues of gray, and skin transparent, almost white. Altogether, he looked much closer to a photographers' 'negative shot' than the Edward I knew.
I didn't know what was happening, because looking up at the room and Alice, straining my eyes, trying to see if I could see more, I saw no changes in her or anything else around me.
Guessing again, I placed my other hand on the floor, attempting to test a quick theory. I saw that nothing had had change there either. So immediately I ruled out x-ray vision from the list of possible answers.
It didn't feel right anyway. He was transparent, as was I; but it was more like my mind 'sensing' through him, not 'looking' through him.
My mind felt like it spread itself on contact; covering him, cloaking him within itself.
My ruminations were cut short as my thoughts were interrupted by a prayer-answering gasp of air coming from him as he began to literally, sparked to life.
The simple action of gasping, caused him to fire signals all over him. They ignited like a start burst, and were skating and streaking everywhere. Leaving long and short ribbons of white light as they went.
"Edw….." was all I was able to get out, before I was hit by a tidal wave made of sledgehammers, as every emotion I thought was lost to us, slammed into me.
I didn't know if I was screaming, bawling, or laughing, but I knew it was my turn to curl up into a ball, and pull at my hair, as I mindlessly threatened to rip it out, root and stem.
Hate, joy, bliss, despair, happiness, lust, rage, jealousy, love, were all represented. Even the lesser ones as well. Mischief, trust, abandonment, concern, respect, sincerity, glee, urgency, patience, friendship, betrayal, frustration. I was experiencing all of it, everything, all at once. Not only that, they were all tuned up to their maximum, forcefully trying to break the law of physics, by trying to occupy one space at the top of my emotional pyramid, at the same time.
It was too much. It felt like every emotion I ever had, were all pressing for dominance.
And if the weight of it all was overwhelming, the speed of which they all came was maddening. All of them were coming and going, smashing and mixing into one another, creating a putrid cocktail of conflicting emotions. And when mixed with images in my mind, it began twisting my very soul.
Images rapidly and uncontrollably flashed through my mind. And with them; random mixtures of emotions as well. Thoughts of people I knew, places, things I've tasted and touched, all were coming and going. Things I haven't thought of in years were taking up center stage again.
Me fiddling with the broken tongue of my ballet slippers * Edward laying on the couch on my mother's house, hand over his eyes, pretending to have a migraine * James's measuring eye on Carlisle as he spoke * Charlie at the kitchen table, writing checks for the bills * A smiley face I drew in a mud pie, turning it over to show Rachel and Jacob * Mike trying to reach for my hands at the movies * Billy leaving the bathroom at his house, and me awkwardly averting my gaze * Charlie showing me how to skip a stone * Lauren sneezing loudly three times in a row during a test, getting everyone's attention * Lying on my back, under a thick canopy of trees looking at small breaks of light that was able to come through * Emmett's howling laughter when I fell on my face, spitting out grass, because he had secretly tied my shoelaces together * Phil placing a gun in my hand for the first time * My first grade teacher Mrs. Cole * Jake pulling his hand away quickly after I caught him, then putting it back after getting a small but warm friendly smile * Me cleaning out the cooking pan of one of Renee's failed cooking experiments * Edward trying to coax a squirrel into eating from his hands *Tyler asking Irina to dance at the graduation party, and Irina shooting him down for a second time * Brushing Esme's hair as she told me about her first wedding, and the horrible result of that decision * Watching Eric walk around with toilet paper on his shoe, while the boys silently laughed behind him * Edward grinding on top of me in our bed at the motel in IIwaco * Paul letting one rip at Emily's general store, clearing me and everyone else out of it, and earning him a hard punch from Sam * Emmett holding Alice's Porsche overhead, threatening to toss it on its back, if she kept giving him bad picks * The cherub faced door knobs, and large gold ring handles in Volterra * Watching Carlisle and Esme, playfully chase each other in the backyard from Edwards's window * Rosalie calling out math corrections, as she and Alice organized her shoes closet, while I did homework * Gianna envious eyes staring at me * Me tripping on a tree root as I tried to catch up with Edward.* Kate glaring menacingly at some man trying to sneak a picture of the four of us at the DMV * Sitting on Edwards's lap, while he and Alice watched their most recent trades earn profit in real-time, earning the family a small fortune * Carlisle arguing loudly with Eleazar behind closed doors about it being 'his' families decision about how much knowledge they would like the world to know about them and me * Jasper returning and apologizing for erupting at me and Emmett * Alice catching the girl right in front her at graduation, when her heel broke * Quill asking Jake how much longer the bikes were going to take * Riding on Edwards back for the first time *
But with each random thought, a random, unassociated, emotion illegally made its way in, twisting things around.
Everything was twisting and contorting into something it was never meant to be. I was going mad.
"….la? Bella?..."
Someone was calling me. Not only that, I felt like something was crawling on my mind like ants.
"Bella… Bel-la?" I heard him. Edward was talking to me. Grunting really. Speaking like he was talking through clenched teeth. "Hold on. It's slowing, I… feel it. Hold on."
His voice was stressed and strained, but he was speaking again.
Just hearing his voice, and the knowledge that this madness was coming to an end, filled me with indescribable relief.
And as promised, things started sorting themselves out. I was still flashing through random memories, at a rapid pace, but now the right emotions were attaching themselves.
"Ed-ward?" I strained out through a sob. That one word took more out of me than I imagined.
I knew why he was straining now. My thoughts and emotions were still shifting at an unbelievable pace. I needed an incredible amount of focus just to retain a single one, or to get out one word. How he was doing it, was beyond me.
"Shh, shh, love. Let it… wear itself… down. We're… almost through… it. Just a few… more seconds." He said between labored breaths. Sounding weak, as if he exhausted himself.
And once again his instructions were on point. The force of the internal flood, began to ebb and slow even more. Emotions began falling away one of the next. I was slowly beginning to climb out the pits of madness back into the light of sanity.
I followed my love's instruction and just let this wear itself out.
After a few brief moments of unease, and uncertainty, I slowly began to register my mental balance once more.
It still felt like something was pushing against my brain, poking it, almost tickling it with its meek force, crawling about like ants. But whatever the sensation was, it was nowhere near what I had just been through.
I was hearing him. He was moving slowly, but was maintaining contact with me at all times.
I felt his arms move to surround me. "Bella, its over we're…" *Gasp*
I felt the influx of emotions that were not my own. Shock, disbelief, alarm and confusion, were coming from him. But all I thought about was the fact that I felt them at all.
Slowly taking the time to register the rest of my surroundings, I slowly took my hands away from my hair, and picked up my head. I quickly found myself face to face with Edward's chest, and his arms around me protectively. Feeling even more shock and confusion, coming from him.
But my emotions looking upon him, was something else entirely. Love, relief, and overwhelming gratitude flooded me. But this time they were wonderfully mixed, and were within their proper proportions.
"Bella? Is that…you?"
Confusion, concern, and anxiety filled him. Yet, I was grateful for the sensation. For it wasn't a moment ago I had thought, it and him, were lost to me for good.
Some part of me registered that I was asked a question, and another part, still felt like an ant was crawling featherly across my mind; but a larger part of me quested for something else. All I wanted now was confirmation that what I was hearing and feeling was real.
Looking up quickly, I saw Edward looking down at me with confusion. A confusion that was quickly replaced by, shock as he looked about me; scanning me all over, from head to toe.
It was his eyes that caught my attention. Like his new complexion, they also seems to be the reversed and 'negated'. The parts that were supposed to have been white, were dark grey. His irises, a reflective powder blue, and its center, which was once dark, was now white. But most mesmerizing of all were the streaks of light that ignited, and flared out from the center, with every twitch of is eyes.
He still glowed, his bone structure still showed darkly and tissue, still carried varying shades of grey, but even now, there was a beauty about him. A new type of unearthly beauty in his darkened features and streaking lights.
"What… happened to you?" He asked in a dazed whisper, looking all about my face.
I wasted no more time and needed no more confirmation than that. I threw my arms around his neck and squeezed him to me, and sobbed on his shoulder.
"I love you, I love you, I love you." I said over and over, pecking up and down his neck and cheek, feeling blessed, and overwhelmed with gratitude for the simple fact that my worst fears didn't come to fruition before my very eyes, and that he is now able to respond to me. "I love you so very much."
I was so focused on my relief, that I almost missed his feeling entirely. His love was there, but it didn't take the lead. Chief among his emotions was confusion, urgency, and shock.
"Bella? What's going on?" *gasp* "My hands." H-How… How did this happen?" He asked, his confusion and disbelief and fear trumping every other emotion in him.
He was getting scared. I was scaring him.
Opening my eyes, looking at my radiant forearm pressed tightly against the back to his translucent neck, it suddenly dawned on me how insane this all might look to him. To have suddenly awakened to find yourself and the person you love the most, glowing and see-through.
I saw my mistake then. Somewhere along the line, I had wordlessly and absentmindedly just expected that everything about this strange phenomenon was just something only I could see, since I was a shield. That it was only real to my mind and no one else's. But I was wrong. I was very, very wrong.
I gasped and leaped off him quickly. I didn't know how to explain… this, whatever this was, that was happening to us, but I knew it was good, because with it, with a single touch, it had saved him. It had saved us both. And he needed to know that more than anything else.
But I didn't get a chance to explain any of that. When I leaped off of him two things happened instantly. The Edward I knew and fell in love with, instantly lost his 'glow', and returned to his former self.
And less than a full second behind him was the 'flood'.
It instantly caused us both to collapse once again. Crippled me with maddening images, then turned up, and flooded us with every emotion we ever felt.
But as soon as I fell onto him, touched him; the effect slowly begins to recede once more. And the part of me that could hold a coherent thought instantly knew I wasn't going to let him go again.
"Hold…on to me. Don't let go." I struggled out, as the madness and the gut-wrenching tightness slowly receded.
I felt him nod under me, as he hissed in pain through his teeth.
We stayed pressed against each other till the pressure wore off enough for us to move and clasped each other properly.
He was back in full glow again.
"What was that? Why does that keep happening?" I asked shakily as lucidity returns to my mind.
"Alice – it's Alice. Her thoughts… She hurting. She is still trapped in there. I need to hurry. Too many visions. It all too much… I have to do something." He said then turned his head to look up.
I gasped at what I saw, and so did he.
Alice was still there prostrated in front of us in agony; but also there, halfway into the hallway, beating and pushing against distorted air, was Carlisle and Esme.
Suddenly the sensation of ants crawling on my mind was making more sense. Everywhere they touched & assaulted, felt like a light tap, against my mind.
Looking over Edward, then back to them, I knew, without really knowing, that I was looking at something else entirely. I knew that whatever power I was using to protect him and I from Alice's mind, was somehow different from the power that was currently keeping Carlisle and Esme locked out.
I found myself momentarily distracted taking in this new sight and information. Everywhere they touched momentarily lit up under their hands, with a light blue hue, and sent out an almost transparent wake of energy, that was closer to the colors rainbow outwards. My eyes began to follow the rainbow as it rippled outward. Following the shape, it show me the hemisphere that I had somehow balled us in.
Suddenly the tapping and tickling on my mind changed to a steady pressure. Turning back to Esme, showed me why.
Pushing hard and steady, Esme was seemingly inching forward with both hands thrust firmly against the barrier before her. Seeing that, something in my mind instinctively switched off and flipped over. Watching my shield 'bend' and 'give way' to an outside force, caused something in my thoughts and emotions to shift.
"Bella?..." Edward whispered warily and warning me. But this was out of my control.
I loved Esme like a mother, and have already to a degree accepted her as such. But the more inches she gained, pressed not only on my shield but against my ego as well. I felt… affronted. And in reaction, to her unintentional slight, my barrier instantly flexed back to it is original form, instantly repelling her back, sending her flying into Carlisle; who tried his best to catch her, but only ended up joining her in her flight backward.
Their feet broke their shoes, as their toes dug deep into the wood floor attempting to stop themselves, but regardless of their attempts, they still hit the wall behind them with a significant force, that erupted in a plume of dust and sediments.
"Bella!" Edward rebuked, as his eyes darted between his parents and me.
Feeling my mind revert back I gasped covering my mouth, as I stared wide-eyed at what I had done.
Family photos fell to the ground along with dust and cement from the plume. The indent they made was significant; I felt the vibration through the floor, but nothing else. I heard nothing.
Everything outside my bubble was quiet. It was like watching life on mute.
They looked at me with concern that morphed into easy forgiveness. Through the dust, I saw them. They stood up, and with a blur, dusted themselves off. Their mouths began to move, but I couldn't hear a sound.
"I can't hear anything" Edward and I said to each other in unison. But I turned to look at him. Instinctively, I knew he meant more than that.
"You can't read them either, can you?" I asked looking up him as he squinted at the pair, then shake his head.
"Nothing…" he whisperingly replied. Alarm slowly crawling through him. "This is your doing?"
"Yes but… I-I honestly don't know how I am doing it. It just happened. I-I… you both screamed so loud and then you were frozen in place." I began to explain, for understanding and forgiveness I knew I already had.
"I didn't know what to do? I called Carlisle, for help, then thought it was Jane." I scrambled out in bits, hoping he could fill in the blanks. I was already feeling his sympathy. "But when I realized that I couldn't sense you… I panicked. You were just… laying there, not moving, trapped in pain, and I, your mate… couldn't feel anything from you. I thought our connection broke. I thought I lost you. I thought… I thought you left me behind." I finished meekly, bowing my head.
"Then this happened?" He asked rhetorically, gently picking up my chin to look, forcing me to face him.
His eyes showed me nothing but love and forgiveness, as were his feelings, even if they were partly stained with guilt and shame that was directed inward.
I nodded. "Yes. I was scared, terrified that I lost you. I started to glow but from the inside this time. And as soon as I touched you."
"I started to glow too." He said piecing it together for himself. I nodded in confirmation.
"When you moved, I couldn't have been more relieved. But then everything that I wasn't getting from our connection before hit me all at once, and I collapsed."
"I see…" he said contemplatively.
"You do?"
"I do. Things were a little different from my perspective, but all of that has to wait. Alice needs our help, right now. Her mind is being overwhelmed. Futures and memories are flashing everywhere, swarming her, driving her insane. We need to get her out. She will lose her mind if she stays there any longer. We have to do something…" He said then looked at me.
"Bella, I don't know if this would work, but… do you think, this could work on her too?" He asked, looking at our hands, feeling a hopeful urgency.
"Let's try." I quickly agreed, not really knowing if it would work, but not willing to leave Alice in that hell for a second longer.
Getting to our feet, we saw Carlisle and Esme. They were looking over our glowing, mildly translucent forms with a mixture of bewilderment and confusion. But once they caught my eye, they both gave me a tight warm smile, obviously forgiving me for what happened. In return, I mouthed 'I'm sorry' even though I was certain they couldn't hear a single thing I said.
Seeing that, they both shook their heads as if my apology was not needed.
'I didn't deserve them.'
We dashed over to Alice and kneeled before her. I wasted no time and placed my hand on her head, igniting a wave of light within her. Turning her from pale white to assorted colors and levels of grey.
But almost instantly I felt a renewed surge of that previous 'madness' threatening to rise up within Edward. But before that could happen, Edward quickly yanked me back, as if Alice was a thousand degrees.
"That was close," Edward said, as he pulled me closer.
Catching my breath, I let my emotions level out once more. But when taking inventory this time, I registered something new. I felt my strength fading. I was feeling fatigue slowly creep in. Looking at my arm, I confirmed the worst. I was still glowing, but I was nowhere near as bright or as pronounced as I was before, and even that was fading. I began to panic.
My mind instantly saw what was about to happen. It knew that if this power faded, Edward was going to go back to that hell, and would be stuck there till I awoke again. But even doing that, didn't guarantee that I would be able to create this power again; and if I couldn't, I was going to lose them both to the void.
"Bella? You getting scared. What is it?"
"Edward, look. It's… fading" I said, raising up my hand to him. Causing him to look at his own, and confirm the same.
We were both looking more and more like our old selves by the second.
"Edward we need to hurry and do something quickly. Once it fades, you'll be…"
Suddenly, Edwards's mouth was firmly against mine, with his tongue, forcing themselves passed my lips and into my mouth.
I caught on quickly, as I felt the feeling of lethargy leave me. He was giving me more fuel to burn.
I thanked God for him.
Besides the wonderful sensation of kissing him, my mind was feeling more at ease for two reasons.
One, I was grateful that panic didn't overcome us both, and he quickly saw the obvious solution that I overlooked. And two, I had next to me a ready fuel source to feed me what I needed, for as long as I required.
Breaking our kiss, we saw that the glow didn't return as brightly as it was before. It just stabilized us both for the time being.
But we had another problem. We still weren't able to help Alice.
"We're good for now," He said looking down at our clasped hands, then looked up at Alice's tortured form, and ground his jaw.
"But how are we going to help Alice. I can't touch her and you; and if I let you go…"
"I'll fall as well. I know." He said gravely.
He emoted desperation and despair. He was feeling helpless and so was I.
If it let him go, he would be lost to the void, and so would I.
'But wait a minute'
"Edward, when I first touched you I was in pain as well," I said, causing him to turn to me. I already sensed his reluctance even before I got to the point. "But, after a few moments, it wore off. Maybe if we held on to her longer, and suffer through it with her, it would wear of too."
"No- I don't think it would, not this time." He said, but with a lot more certainty than I had.
"What? How do you know?"
"Eleazar." He said creating a gust of confusion to well up within me. "When he was here, his mind was open to me almost all the time, for nearly two months. And for a change, I paid attention. I saw a lot and learned a lot more. I learned a great deal about our classifications. About swords and arrows class, because I am one; and shields, because of you. I planned on using what I learned, to help you, train you, later after you were turned. But now is a good time as any." He said turning to face me full on. He let go of my hand but still maintained contact with his other hand, and placed both of his hands under my shirt, on my hips touching my skin.
"Bella, I don't know if this is how the world will look to you when you are not touching me." He said flicking his chin down at himself and at me. "Because, I can't see it Bella, not the way your class can. They have something extra about them, and you even more. You're still human, and somehow you can conjure up all of this. Your power is growing at an exceptional rate, and coming back from where I just was, I have glimpsed what it and you will become." He stated causing me to gasp. "Shh, shh, shh. No worries Bella, You will be everything Eleazar said you'd be. And much, much more." He whispered softly but with surety.
My heart picked up the pace with the promise in his voice, even though my mind didn't know how to grasp all of it. Glancing over him, and down at myself, I knew he spoke nothing but the truth. The evidence was all there. I felt myself get stronger with every use of my power. With every situation, my gifts always seemed to adapt itself to exactly what I need. That can't be a coincidence. 'Can't be'
"You will be a shield. You will be 'the' shield. But even with that said, it doesn't exempt you from the rules that govern your class."
"Rules?"
"Yes, it looks like you will still have your restrictions. But in this case, the rule you need to concern yourself with is the rule of 'protection'. And it states that, whatever you choose to 'cover' with your shield will be protected by your gift, and separated from danger. Like I am right now. But if you choose to invite the danger in" he said turning to Alice. "Then your protection is voided, and anyone under your protection will suffer. You have to be selective. It's one or the other. Never both."
I nodded and turned to Alice, feeling helpless. To save her I would have to let go of Edward, and for the life of me, I couldn't see myself doing that. Not for her, not for anyone; and that was the honest truth of it.
I loved Alice very much. She is everything I would've wanted in a sister. But if it was between her or Edward, it would be Edward every time.
I felt no guilt in that admission. Helpless, regret, frustration, sure, but not an ounce of guilt. It was like the decision was made even before I even thought to ask. And even more surprising, there wasn't an ounce of guilt to be found in Edward either.
Quickly thinking about it, there was a time I really would've risked my life, and ran headlong into danger to support or save a friend, and thought nothing to sacrifice my life for them. Some part of me would've even found nobility in the act. But those were the naïve ideas of a foolish girl, who didn't fully understand anything.
I had Edward, so who was I to choose to deliberately run off into danger and risk both of our lives? Because whether it was him or me, if something happened to one of us, the other would follow, no matter what promises were made to the contrary. And no one was worth that. Absolutely no one.
We weren't heartless, we just knew our priorities.
Regardless of my feelings, the larger bet was that it wouldn't help anyway. As soon as I let go of Edward, he would collapse instantly, and shield or not, I would follow him, due to our emotional connection. No, it was too much to risk given what we stood to lose.
"I bet they never thought about familial connection when they made up all 'that' rule," I said dryly.
"No, who would." He said glumly. Then turned to me. "I'm sorry, I should've warned you before you touched her. But we needed to do something. But the real truth is, after seeing what I just saw, I honestly thought the rules would not apply to you. You become so powerful Bella, and if you have seen what I've seen, you probably would've assumed the same."
I breathlessly gasped once more at his words. I thought about my gift and tried desperately to imagine, what it would become. But from the wonder in his eye, I knew it fell far short.
"It doesn't matter, if you didn't suggest it, I probably would've tried anyway. But it failed. So what are we going to do now? If neither of us could touch her. How are we…" Then it hit me like a sack of bricks.
'Bella?' Edward said watchfully, feeling my epiphany.
'Why in gods name didn't I think of this sooner? How could both of us miss the obvious solution right in front of us, well more precisely, me.'
"Edward, reduce her. Shut her power off. If you do that, the visions should stop." I said enthusiastically
But all too soon I realized I was alone with my enthusiasm.
"Sorry love, but I've been trying to do that all this time. I can't make it work. Nothing is happening. I can't generate enough power."
I just about asked why in my shock, when the obvious hit me again. It was because of me.
Just looking at his skin told me all I needed to know, to know that I was right.
My power was protecting him but was making him powerless.
Edward had been learning up about my power, but I knew a few things about his as well. His power needed other minds to work. The more minds, the better, and stronger his gift becomes. But in order to 'protect' him, I had inadvertently blocked him from the only two minds for miles.
"This is my fault, isn't it? How do I it turn it off?" I asked, turning to Esme and Carlisle. Hoping he learned something that would help.
The two were watching us intently. I don't think they missed a thing since they crawled out of the rubble.
"I don't really know love." He said sincerely. "From what I've learned, there is no 'one way' for any of it. Some powers are more difficult to control than others, but that is all dependent upon the user. For some, the simple will is enough; while others require great amounts of focus and concentration."
"Bella, do you remember how you put it up?"
"I didn't even know it was up till I saw them pushing against it," I told him honestly. "What should I do?"
His eyes roamed about quickly as he deliberated a response. More than once falling to Alice, and each time they would, his urgency and desperation shot up and through us both.
Suddenly, I get a spark of realization within him.
"Close your eyes. Concentrate." He said eagerly.
His advice seemed very basic for the amount of realization that I felt a moment ago. But since I didn't have a better alternative, I did as I was bid.
Closing my eyes quickly I found that even my eyelids were slightly illuminated from within, but other than that, nothing.
"Concentrate on your surroundings. Find the edges of your barrier, and pull it away from Carlisle, Esme, and me." He instructed causing me to turn sharply to him.
"I need time, and I hope that if you're blocking her mind from me, she can't harm me." He said quickly soothing my nerves.
Trusting him, I closed my eyes. I couldn't sense anything close to what he was speaking about; then suddenly I could.
I felt it. 'A hand?' Looking up quickly, I saw that Esme had gently placed her hand on my shield, changing the hue of it, under her palm, and sending out a warm, slow-moving, rainbow wake.
She nodded to me quickly, signaling to me that they were paying attention somehow. She knew what we were trying to do, and was trying to help.
I gave her a warm smile and closed my eyes again. I concentrated on the small pressure her hand generated against my mind. Doing so, felt like I was zooming in on something microscopic. I felt and saw it all in my mind. Her hand glowed in the negative. In reality, I knew it looked the same, but in my thoughts, it was transparent dark grey, and filled with sparking nerves, like Edward was a moment ago. I saw that with just a little more concentration, I could even make out her fingerprints and enlarge them in my mind.
Excited about this new experience, I mental lost focus and felt Esme's gentle touch, push in once more. Feeling that sensation again, I quickly focused on that, and it saw and felt my shield harden and snap back once more.
Seeing that, the leap to my final conclusion was easy to make. Focus or lack of thereof will be the difference between a soft shield and a hard one.
I saw that the more I concentrated, the firmer I felt it in my mind.
After toying with that feature, a bit more, causing a playful smirk to crawl on my face; I felt around some more. And to new great surprise, I found something new.
In my search, I found the evidence I was looking for. Evidence that proves that my initial theory was correct.
For I in fact, have two shield types.
Just sensing the second type caused my instincts to kick in once more. Somehow I knew, just knew, things were going to be different for this shield.
First thing I noticed was that it had no density whatever. I felt light and airy, like something that could blow away on the smallest of breezes. A second thing I noticed, was when I did concentrate, it changed nothing. I didn't feel it firm up one bit no matter how hard I focused on it.
'This one was going to be the problem child.' Which all the more increase my enthusiasm to learn more about it.
But as excited as I was to explore this, I needed to hurry. So, for now, I was just content to have located both of them so easily.
"I found them," I said excitedly.
"Them?" Edward asked with slight confusion staining his urgency.
"Yeah that's what took me so long, I have two," I said proudly.
"Bella… that's…that's wonderful." He said in genuine awe, but one he could not fully express given the concern and worry I felt from him still. "You are truly exceptional Bella."
Causing me to beam and blush with pride, and he smirked to at me, despite the situation.
"Now can you pull it…"
"Done," I said smugly, already finished pulling my shield down, till it only covered Alice.
I closed it in over her till it hovered only a few centimeters above our skin; also creating a thin thread to tethering her to me.
It was amazingly simple to manipulate once I found the edges. Extremely simple. I had needed both concentration and will in the beginning, but after I knew what to look for, it moved by my will alone.
It felt, natural. I felt like I just discovered I had extra appendages and was using them for the first time, and yet with one twitch of movement, it felt like I had been using it all my life.
The two had been mixed together without my knowledge. My initial panic at the situation had caused them to do so. Using them both at the same time felt different to me, than when I used my physical one by itself. First thing I realized now, was the feedback I was getting from everything I touched within my physical shield and everything that touched it without. The mental shield allowed me to feel every sensation of it twisting and bending that I didn't feel before when its harder physical brother was working alone.
None of it was painful, but I was more sensitive to things within my 'field', more than I ever was before. Things were significantly more, detailed.
My Physical shield, allowed me to 'feel' every detail of everything it touched and held within, but only the external. While the Mental Shield allowed me to... Scan more deeply. To 'sense' and feel out everything that it touched, from without and within. The external and internal. To know its every detail.
'Maybe they are mixed after all?' I thought, finding myself quickly hypothesizing once more.
Tweaking it a bit more, I removed the hardened layer from around my head, and with great relief, listened to the sounds of the world the outside 'bubble' I had encased myself in.
And as an added bonus, I felt the reduction of my shield also reduce my 'burn rate'.
"Well done. When will you ever stop surprising me?" Edward asked me proudly; both looking and feeling it.
Looking at Edward now, I saw that removing my shield from his person had returned him to normal. He no longer looked like a negative photo of himself. And like I thought, there was a difference. The sensation I got was much different when I pulled that one back to spread it over Alice and under the other shield type.
But my ruminations were cut short.
Movement at the door that caught my attention. Esme and Carlisle waste no time, and dog-piled into the room kneeling beside Alice's frozen form off the floor. I watched as both tried futility to reach her both physically and verbally through my barrier.
"I can't touch her – Alice, say something to me, sweetie." Esme pleaded, prodding along trying to find a way past my shields.
"What happened to all of you?" Carlisle asked, his concerned eyes darting back and forth between the three of us.
Quickly imagining all the things he must have seen since he has arrived, I didn't even know where to begin to answer his question. But almost in response, a determination that wasn't my own, filled me, causing me to turn to my mate.
I watched on and felt his feelings shifted quickly from relief, to resolve, in what I assumed was him regaining his 'connection'.
Ignoring Carlisle's inquiry, Edward closed his eyes, and I watch in amazement as the air or aura surrounding his crown and hair, changed color and form and ignited and sparked red, like tiny lightning bolts all about his head.
I felt his power over my shield then. This didn't feel like ants at all. This felt like a hundred tiny needles slightly pricking me as they lightly danced against my mind.
It wasn't painful, it felt more…itchy than anything. Like I should've wanted to scratch all over my mind, which was just… weird.
"Bella now." Was all he said and I needed. I didn't hesitate to pull back my shield off of Alice then.
I knew from what he told me before, that once his power begins to build up, his mind stops receiving as it prepares to transmit its attack. We had both thought that was a weakness. That it would leave him vulnerable for physical attack if caught in the open. But in this case, with a mental assault standing ready for him as soon as my shields came down, that weakness was a strength. No, more than that, it was our saving grace.
I pulled back my shields from Alice and watched as the red lighting storm Edward had produced encased and spread through her mind, changing its coloring to a reddish orange glow, as it seeped in. It was stunning to see.
If it were a physical attack, it would've looked like the lightning was hitting and heating up every spot it touched. Practically cooking her mind. But it was mental, and only after a few seconds, the light show stopped.
"Okay…Bella, shield her!" He said urgently after the show was over.
In panic, I covered Alice's mind immediately and turned back to look Edward.
"It's done. The side-effects she is feeling still needs to wear off on its own, so give her a moment or two." He said confidently, not taking his eyes of her, feeling anxious, and worried.
"Edward, is she going to be alright?" Esme asked, holding back a sob.
From just listening to us, I knew she had put most of what she heard into its proper context already.
He didn't respond immediately, Edward held his gaze firmly on Alice, watching intently for any sign of progress.
"We were trapped." He said after a few moments. "Her visions turned on us. The power of her talent had hit new levels almost out of nowhere. It enveloped both our minds whole and drove us mad. Bella saved me. She blocked my mind away from Alices'. Gave me an out. Then when the residual madness of Alice's connection subsided, she provided me with enough protection in order to try and save Alice." He said causing their eyes to shift to me.
"I reduced her just now. Stop the higher functions of her gift. Hopefully bringing her gift back down to what it was before. She should be suffering from residual madness, but that should be slowing as we speak." He said answering Esme's question.
"Slowing?" Carlisle pressed looking for more information, but somehow cause Edward to give him the foulest look. A look I'm sure no one missed before he looked back towards Alice.
"Where she is now, her visions, her thoughts, her emotions, all sped up to an incredible rate. It trapped us in a maelstrom of chaos that was trying its best to make us lose our minds. And if it wasn't for Bella, I have no doubt that is exactly what would've happened." He replied tightly
"I don't understand. How did this come about? And why are you so upset with me?" Carlisle inquired once more, causing impertinence to flood him and flow over into me, as Edward slowly look up from Alice and growl.
"Because this happened because of you!" He snarled out, taking Carlisle back, and causing all three heads in the room to snap to him, expressing the same lost and confused look.
But before Carlisle could respond, movement from Alice caught all our attention. It was a simple twitch of the hand at first, but almost as soon, she started to groan in agony. And in this case that was a good sign.
Soon after that, her movement became more pronounced. The four of us looked on as Alice began to squirm, and hiss in pain, as she fought her way back.
As I looked on, I felt the onset of sleep coming on once more. I pulled back my shield immediately from Alice's body as well. Only keeping the tether that binds us, and leaving her protective layer over her head to prevent any stray thoughts from entering Edwards mind.
Although she was on the mend, she was still very much trapped. I knew I would need to hold out only a few moments longer.
Looking down, I saw that my inner light was finally gone. I still had my power around Alice's mind, but my look was back to normal, and my power was fading fast. I felt exhausted from the trip.
Like an alarm, her screams momentarily shocked me awake. Edward, Esme, and Carlisle began trying to talk her down. Reassuring her that we were all here, and that it will be over soon, but she just kept lashing out, growling viciously. But I was practically dead on my feet. I was 'leaning' more than standing now.
Knowing exactly what I needed, Edward turned to me quickly, pressed his mouth to my own, and with one quick but deep parting kiss. Edward let go of my hand and went to join Carlisle and Esme, to help restrain Alice's movements. But that was all I needed.
Looking at them, I saw that even with the three of them, she was too wild.
I knew they could have held her down if they 'really' wanted to, but I knew they were too worried about hurting her.
Raising my hand, I spread the physical shield that was still tethered to her like a string and moved it to cover her full body like a blanket; locking down her limbs and holding her flat against the floor.
The burn rate was minuscule, but was still going faster than I would like. I was crashing before, and the kiss Edward gave me, only gave me enough energy to hold me where I was, not bring me back.
But holding her took almost no effort or thought. Even the act of raising my hand was superfluous. It was all will. It was all effortless, but still, power consuming.
I only had to wait her out a few more moments.
'I could handle that, right? No problem.' I thought wearily
Looking confused for only a second at what they were seeing, all three soon turned to look to me, to see me with my hand raised in the air in front of me.
"Amazing" Carlisle and Esme both whispered in awe.
But Edward wasn't as impressed with my antics as they were.
"Bella, you're draining yourself. Let us handle it."
I shook my head, letting my hand fall.
"It's okay Edward. Just a minute or two and I will be able to let her go. I can do that much"
The universe moving as if the correct that falsehood, suddenly I found myself falling to my knees, then just as quickly back into Edwards hold.
"Bella!" All three shouted.
'So much for my bravado.' I thought
"Bella are you okay?" Carlisle asked, leaving Alice's side. Looking me over up and down.
"I'm fine, I'm fine," I said quickly
A scoff was Edward's only reply, before his mouth was on mine again, resuscitating me with another deep kiss.
But even during one of our most intimate acts, I sensed a slight bitterness towards Carlisle. One that I knew had to do with his previous statements. But whatever the reason, I didn't like it.
"Some parts of me think, you're doing this on purpose." He said as soon as he broke our kiss.
"You don't seem to mind." I lightly joked back, letting my only eyes and feeling show my worry for him.
"He may not, but as a doctor I…"
"I don't want your opinion on anything, so stop shoving them in my fucking head," Edward growled through his teeth. Freezing the room in an uncomfortable silence.
If there was uncertainty before about an issue between them, that was long gone now. But a sharp gasp broke through and we were all back on task.
"Alice! Oh, Alice." Esme shrieked, causing all our attention to turn sharply towards her. "It's mommy honey. Look at me. Alice. look at me, you're all right. Carlisle help, help her."
Carlisle slowly broke eye contact with Edward, looking hurt and dejected, then made his way back quickly back to Esme.
It was heartbreaking, and I was upset with Edward as well because of it. When this was cleared up, I was going to make sure he knew that, but for right now, the important thing was that Alice was back.
I quickly let go of the physical shield that held her in place, before it faded on its own, and I with it.
All I was getting was placeholder's kisses that kept me from unconsciousness but did nothing to revitalize me. In order for me to fully recharge now, I would have to do it the old fashion way. Sleep.
"Alice, are you…" Before Carlisle got close to finishing,
As soon as I released her, Alice got up in a blur and threw herself at Edward and me, causing me to reflexively protect myself at the moment of impact, as she sent all three of us sliding back, till we hit the foot of her bed.
"Alice, its okay" Edward soothed as I reached around to hug her back. "You're okay, you're okay. We got you out"
Then the dam broke and Alice began to wail inconsolably between us. Her tiny body was balled up on her brother's lap, as she continued to sob.
Edward and I looking at each other, neither of us knew what to do.
"Okay, What the hell happened here?" Carlisle said, finally losing his patience, and looking for clues.
But his question only caused Edwards eyes to snap to him, brimming with fury.
"What happened? You want to know what happened?" Edward spat back. "I listened to you, that's what happened. I spared those men, and because of that, the Whole. World. Burned!"
[END CHAPTER]
A/N: I'll keep it simple this week.
REVIEW, REVIEW, REVIEW, REVIEW, REVIEW, REVIEW, REVIEW, REVIEW, REVIEW, REVIEW, REVIEW, REVIEW, REVIEW, REVIEW, REVIEW, REVIEW, REVIEW, REVIEW, REVIEW, REVIEW, REVIEW, REVIEW, REVIEW, REVIEW, REVIEW, REVIEW, REVIEW, REVIEW, REVIEW, REVIEW. There easy enough for ya? LOL. Vision Break down to come next chapter.
Q & A time:
Is Edward justified in his anger? Or is it misplaced? Or are you glad that he is not blaming himself? Lol.
Bella's growing power? Any thoughts?
Bella's shields, like' em? Understand them? (No she doesn't have x-ray vision) Her sight is sort of a 'sensory' sight. But tell me what you think anyway.
Bella's reaction to Esme pushing against her shield or EGO barrier. LOL? It was reflect but, it happened so what are your thoughts?
Oh and did anyone pick up on the fact that the name of this title is a double entendre?
Wake- as the pulse Bella sent through Edward and Alice, causing ripples and waves.
Awake- as in, rising from sleep.
GET IT? Im soooooo clever! LOL. Jk.