Chapter 10
Kougami
I was prepared for Pops to break a fuse when we arrived back at the ranch with the unexpected cougar cub but he didn't say anything other than giving Mika the job of taking care of it until Saiga would come to pick it up some time later today and relocate it to a facility that would be able to give it the proper care that it will need in order to survive since it no longer has its mom which is kind of sad but the cub will be okay, he's a strong little guy.
After we arrived, I resumed my work around the ranch fixing minor things here and there while Gino took care of unsaddling our horses and brushing their coats clean before retreating to his room not to be seen since.
I'm not exactly sure if he's sleeping or working but he seemed really tired by the time we got back to the ranch. Getting some sleep wouldn't be such a bad idea on his part but I seriously doubt it that's what he's doing unfortunately.
"Hey Kougami. Got a minute?"
I look over my shoulder as I see Sugo walking towards me but I don't stop cleaning the floor of the barn like he didn't say anything at all and I simply continue sweeping the floor, paying as little attention to him as possible.
"I would like to discuss about our tasks. I mean I think it be best if we come to an understanding on what we'll both be doing just to make sure we don't end up doing the same thing." He tells me. I had a feeling that he'd approach me with something like this sooner or later.
Typical…
"Sure…" I reply back, not really caring much but I stop sweeping the floor to give him a little bit of my attention even though I can't stand the guy.
"I always work on Tomomi's garden and that means that I'll be working with the compost bins a lot and the manure so if it's fine with you, for the whole month I'll be taking care of cleaning the stalls." He tells me and I can't even believe it that he even suggested something so stupid.
"I'm a stable hand, if I don't clean up the stalls exactly what am I supposed to do?" I ask the rather obvious question.
This guy is really unbelievable; he's so full of himself. I can't believe the nerves he has for even thinking about suggesting such a thing to begin with.
Who does he think I am? An imbecile or something?
"Look, I'm used to working on a ranch. I know my way around with no problem." He further tells me as if he thinks that I can't do the same.
The more this jackass talks the more I just want to punch him straight in the face as I feel my irritation starting to build up. The only thing stopping me from punching the lights out of him is what Pops will say; I can't afford to get a negative comment against me.
"I can handle it so I was thinking maybe you could help Nobuchika with his work for a bit." He adds and now I'm rather confused. Is he that stupid or what? He should be more than aware that I can't help Gino with his work; I barely know anything about horses.
"I'm not a horse whisperer; I can't do miracles with horses like he does." I answer back.
"I know but you could brush the horses, feed them, fill their water buckets and give a helping hand to Nobuchika when he's working with them." He says so casually like it was nothing.
I was aware that Gino would brush all of the horses in the morning but I wasn't aware that he was solemnly responsible for feeding them and to provide water who knows how many times a day and not to mention his other workload. He's obviously over worked here.
I honestly thought that Pops was the one who was feeding the horses and providing them with drinking water. I've never noticed Gino ever doing that so I guess he's slick when it comes to moving around here.
"Look, Nobuchika won't admit it but he's overwhelmed with his work and he's not functioning. He needs help." Sugo states the rather obvious that Gino is without a doubt overwhelmed with what he has to do but I think that if Gino needs help, he'll ask for it.
"What makes you say that?" I ask as I put the broom away.
"Come with me." Was his reply as he walks away and I follow him into the over cluttered and somewhat vacant room that looks like it might have been used as an office at one point.
Maybe… Probably…
"Okay… Exactly what am I supposed to see here?" I ask.
This place is a serious mess and I was actually surprised when Gino had been able to find that first aid kit on the first day I was here considering that he was injured. There's just so much stuff piled up on top of another that I really do not know where to look. I'm sure if tourists would see this mess, they would probably lose all faith into the professionalism of Heartland.
"This was Mariam's office. This is where she used to work and managed all of the ranch's affairs." Sugo explains and continues, "By all means, this is where Nobuchika should be working. After all, he's the one who's responsible for the inventory and the bookings of clients for horse rehabilitation and among other things."
"Yeah… I get what you mean." I say.
As much as I can't stand the guy, he's got a good point and he's right. By all means, Gino really should be working in here. If everything would be properly organized and all of the clutter would be gone, the large corner desk would be usable again and not to mention that Gino could see the behaviors of the horses while he works.
Gino needs to be working in here and I'd be willing to bet that all of the ranch's paperwork that he's been working on since he got back from the hospital are all bunched up somewhere in his room which explains why he's often in there but I think I might know why he refuses to work here.
He's afraid to move anything. In his head, if he changes anything in here, the reality that his mom is in fact dead just becomes an even harsher reality but he needs to face this in order to move on.
"Lysa did come by apparently to pick up the important paperwork of the ranch just so she could help manage things on her end. She's also been helping Nobuchika with everything he has to do but she also has her own business to take care of so that leaves him alone most of the time." Sugo further explains and here is that Lysa again.
What the hell is Lysa Byron doing meddling with Heartland's business? I know that Gino worked with that crazy white mare who ended up just being really crabby and sour but why is she involving herself so much here? That woman is well known for her deep pockets, she surely won't be going bankrupt any time soon so what is her gain by helping Pops with his affairs?
"That's not exactly fair to leave all of that onto Gino." I tell Sugo.
If Lysa really wants to help everyone, well she should take care of all of the finances and everything that is related to paperwork. Leaving Gino to book appointments, managing how treatments will cost for his services and inventory for what the ranch will need is all something a professional adult should do. Yeah Gino is sixteen but he's still just a teenager, he's not an adult so why is Lysa putting so much weight on his shoulders?
"It's not like he doesn't know what to do. Mariam thought him well and before I left for the rodeo he was often handling the paperworks, payrolls and such so he knows what he has to do." Sugo quickly explains but still, it's a lot to put on a single person. Gino isn't ready to tackle all of that, maybe in a few months but not right now. Mentally he's not ready but in the end it's really not my place to argue about each of our jobs.
"Okay. I'll figure something out." I tell Sugo much to his satisfaction but I'm not exactly sure how I should approach Gino with this though.
I don't want to insult him or hurt his pride but something needs to be done about all of this. I'm just afraid that I'll make it worse and the thing is, I just don't know where I stand with Gino and not knowing that is driving me crazy. I'm always afraid that I'll fuck everything up.
"You know, before Tomomi says anything. You better put that hat back where you found it." Sugo tells me as he points towards the hat sitting on my head.
First he decides what kind of work we'll be doing and of course he decides that he should do more work on the ranch of which will probably end up making me look like a total ass in Pops' eyes. But, I don't feel like starting up a fight with him so I compromised and I'll be more than happy to do Gino's tasks for him but now he dares meddle into my affairs about my hat!?
He can go eat a pile of shit!
"Gino gave this to me earlier before we rode to Half-Mile Peak." I tell him as I take off the hat to look at it.
To be honest I adore this hat, it's actually the first time someone actually gave me something without me asking for it. It was a gift, Gino saw it and decided that I should have it and he probably thought that I would like it too so I won't get rid of it just to satisfy Sugo.
"Well then forget I said anything." He quickly says with an odd expression before walking away.
What the hell was that all about?
"Wait a minute!" I call back as I follow him and he stops and turns around to face me. "What's with this hat?" I ask, rather puzzled.
He scratches his head as if he's troubled or something and it feels like he said a bit too much and he's not exactly sure how to respond to my question without further putting his foot in his mouth.
What's with this hat?
I know from how it feels on my fingertips that it's definitely not a new hat. I know it must have been a hat that Gino saw laying around that no one was using and he probably figured that I would have better use for it than just letting it gather dust somewhere.
I did look into how it would cost me if I wanted to buy my own cowboy hat yesterday since Pops has one and Gino also has one so I figured I should also get myself one and I did find a few but the cheapest ones were made out of straw and they ranged from twenty to sixty bucks and there was no way I'd pay that much for a straw one so I continued searching around and came upon some made of felt and again the price would vary so much but they were way more expensive than the straw ones. Actually the price didn't compare.
After a while, I stopped looking at the prices and started getting some information about why some are more expensive than others and I learned that depending how much beaver skin is used to make the felt, it will determine the quality of the hat and thus the price too.
Just to have a decent hat with a fair amount of beaver skin would have cost me over a hundred bucks and the hat that Gino gave me is without a doubt one of those hats who was easily over the five hundreds so I can't imagine why someone would just carelessly discard something so expensive and still in great condition.
Also from what I found out when I was researching on these hats is that a good quality felt hat will last anywhere from twenty years to a lifetime because of the durability of the beaver fur and it's recommended that if you want to invest in a hat on the long term it would be best to invest in a higher priced one but it's perfectly normal for a hat to fade with time and to lose fur, especially if it's exposed to the elements regularly.
The hat Gino gave me feels used but the colour hasn't faded. It's completely pitch black the felt isn't damaged either so why it was abandoned, I have no idea.
"You know something; you're keeping something from Gino aren't you?" I blurt out the sudden thought that just came into my mind and by the look he just gave me, I definitely hit the jackpot and I'll be willing to bet that whatever it is, it has to be linked to this hat somehow.
"Sometimes Kougami, there are things better left unspoken. Well until Tomomi says otherwise that is." He finally answers after a few minutes of silence like he was choosing his words carefully.
Well I can't argue with the fact that there are indeed certain things better left unsaid but not everything should be kept hidden and what caught my curiosity even more is the part where Sugo said that it will be until Pops says otherwise so whatever Sugo is keeping secret, it's only because that's what Pops wants.
What could Pops possibly want to keep secret from Gino and the answer suddenly just hit me like a bolt of lightning. He can't possibly be hiding such a thing from Gino, no he can't.
"Do you know something about Gino's dad?" I dare ask but Sugo's expression doesn't give anything away but I'd be willing to bet that's exactly it but why?
"That's not for me to say." He replies before backing away and then stops. "You're wearing his hat though, best not speak of it to Nobuchika if you want to remain on Tomomi's good side that is." He adds before walking away.
I stare at the hat for a few seconds before hanging it near the halters and I have to wonder if Gino is even aware that this hat once belonged to his father and better yet why was it still laying around here? That's just so weird but it's definitely not something that I will say to Gino, it would just mess him up even more if he knew that remnants of his dad still remains around here for whatever reason.
No use thinking about something that I can't do anything about and instead of wasting my time I exit the barn and walk towards the house and I quietly make my way upstairs and head straight to Gino's door and I gently knock on the wooden door.
"Gino…" I call out in a low tone but he doesn't answer and I take on the dare to slowly open the door only to find him sitting at his desk which isn't too surprising but it's the condition of his room that almost gave me a shock. It's a complete mess. "Did a hurricane come through here?" I ask as I enter.
Since I've been here Gino always presents himself properly dressed and clean, nothing is ever in disarray when it comes to his appearance but when it comes to his room, it's the complete opposite. It's like his room is a reflection of the state of his mind and that's not good.
"Kougami please not now. I have so much work to do and I'm soon going to bash my head against the wall." He tells me, not removing his gaze off his laptop.
"Well I don't have a hard time understanding why." I shoot back as I step deeper into his room. "Look at this place, there's no way that you can work at ease in here. It's too crowded, no wonder you can't concentrate on the task at hand." I further tell him.
Gino's desk is full of papers, binders and notebooks of which I'll be assuming must all be about the ranch. He's got one night table that is not cluttered while the other is also full of office stuff and everywhere I look around this room, everything that has a surface is currently being overwhelmed by some sort of office material.
"I have to do my work somewhere." He replies back and right now I feel like grabbing his shoulders and shake him.
"Yeah, in the large office right next to the stalls in the barn." I quickly shoot back.
"I don't think I can do this." He tiredly laments as he buries his face in his hands.
I'm sure once we empty this room from all of the office stuff; I know Gino will start feeling better. He'll be able to relax more and slowly things will start going back to normal. This right now, is far from normal, it's just plain unacceptable.
"Yes you can. You're smart and resourceful but you need a proper working space and your bedroom just isn't it." I tell him as I rest my hands on his shoulders as I continue, "It's a place that you should use to relax and rest, not burden yourself with the stress of work."
"I don't even know where to begin." He states and I already kind of figured that's one of the problems why he hasn't done anything much.
I'm confident that Gino is a hard worker but right now he keeps going in circle and like Sugo said, Gino isn't functioning right now because he's overwhelmed and he's stuck in a cycle of doing the things that he's familiar to do. Everything that his mom used to do is the problem but he can do them, he just needs help to get himself started.
"Well cleaning up the office in the barn could be a starter. I'll help you, come on." I tell him as I pull his chair and get him up to his feet. "And then once that's done, I'll help you to unclutter this mess." I add and he slowly nods.
"Don't you have work to do?" He asks. I knew that would come up, it's like he's repeating what I told him earlier and I can't tell if he's teasing me or what?
"Yeah but Sugo is hogging up all the work for himself so I might as well do something with my spare time." I choose to say with little care as I continue, "Besides, this is a lot to deal with alone and I think you could use a hand to get started."
I'm relieved that Gino didn't try to argue with me, to be honest I was actually expecting him to be somewhat stubborn towards this but no, he's completely cooperative and if I didn't know any better I think he's rather relieved that he's not doing this alone but he's still dragging his feet as we make our way downstairs and exit the house and I literally have to drag him towards the barn and into the office.
"I'm sure this mess just looks worse than what it is." I tell him, hoping that somehow it will help to boost his confidence a little about tackling this head on.
"Everything in here can just be stored into boxes to be shredded later… Lysa took all the important papers, everything else are just old stuff." Gino tells me and if that's the case well that makes things that much easier for us.
"Okay, well that's good." I voice out and ask, "Should we start shredding now or is it something you want to do later?"
"When I mean shredding, I mean that grandpa is going to burn what he deems to be trash so we can just box everything and he'll decide what he wants to do with them later." Gino explains.
From what I can tell, Pops seems to be the one who operates the heavy machinery around here and he supervises what everyone does and that's pretty much it but I guess it's to be expected from a boss.
Cleaning up the office from all of the loose papers scattered all around the room, the old newspapers and other random things that seemed rather pointless was a piece of cake when all we had to do was dump everything in plastic containers and before I even knew it the place was almost spotless.
Gino kept a few newspaper clippings of articles related to Heartland and pinned them up on the wall with the other newspaper clippings and a few times we found some picture frames that had been hidden under papers and we gave them a proper place and one of them was a picture of Gino's mom and I had been wrong. I thought that Gino probably resembled his dad the most but no, he's a spitting image of his mom.
Same eye and hair colour, same facial structure and even the same skin pigmentation. He's really Mariam's son but the one thing that Gino doesn't share with his mom is the shape of his eyes. Well that's something he got from Pops but everything else, it's all Mariam.
"No not that. It's very important." I hear Gino say just as I was going to discard an old tattered binder.
"What is it?" I ask as I give it to Gino and he eagerly takes it and places it on the now clean desk.
"My mom's journal. She filled it up with natural remedies for treating horses from anxiety to indigestion and other ailments, it's really helpful." He explains.
"Is it vet approved?" I ask, still looking at the tattered binder that surly needs to be replaced with a new one but that can be done later. It only proves that it's been used a lot during the years so it has to be very useful.
"Not really but Saiga approves of them though. Some remedies in here have saved a few horses' lives in the past." Gino states.
If natural remedies can be just as effective as medication prescribed from a vet, it wouldn't surprise me if it were not approved by a professional since they would lose so much money but I'm glad to hear at least Heartland's main vet does approve. I've only seen him once but he seems to be a down to earth kind of guy who does his job because he cares about animals and that he's not in the business to make money.
"Thanks to our cleaning up the place, we managed to find this gem then." I tell him and finally, I can say that we are done in here.
With all of this clutter now gone and everything properly organized in their rightful place, the office looks twice as large and Gino will be able to do some real work now at ease. He'll be able to put his things all neatly near him and everything will just be clearer and he'll quickly see that this is all he needed all along.
"Yeah, thanks." He tells me with a soft smile and adds, "I had been meaning to do it for a while but I was never able to before so thank you."
"Glad I could help." I reply as I step closer towards Gino, never breaking eye contact.
Should I touch him or shouldn't I? I want to lay my hands on his hips but I'm afraid that my action won't be reciprocated if I do so. I can't tell what it is that he wants, he's not giving me any hints about if he might be interested in me or not. He's not backing away from me so is that a yes or is it a no? If I make a move now, will I regret it later?
I can't continue like this. I have to know, I just hope I won't regret it.
"Gino-"
"Don't." He quickly cuts me off, pressing his hand on my chest slightly pushing me back. "I'm not attracted to anyone. Not romantically or sexually, I just can't." He adds but he doesn't look at me as he spoke as if he's ashamed of what he is.
There's nothing to be ashamed of and I think it's rather beautiful.
"That's okay Gino. I understand and I respect that." I tell him and somehow I'm not disappointed but my heart is beating really fast but it's probably from nervousness.
It's weird, I should be disappointed and sad even but I'm not. Instead I'm content.
"Friends?" I ask hoping that I can have at least that.
"Yeah, it's all I can give." He tells me and that's fine with me. It's more than enough, his friendship means a lot to me.
My heart is still beating fast but it's starting to slow down and I put a little distance from Gino. The last thing I want to do is to make him feel uncomfortable but I guess I must have been rather obvious about how I felt for him since he cut me off before I could say anything.
So I guess Gino is what you'd call an aromatic asexual, he's not attracted to anyone sexually. To him, sex holds no importance to him and he's not into romance either so that pretty much means that a relationship with him is pretty much out of the question, and yet I still want to be around him. I don't care if I can never kiss him or have something on an intimate level. As long I can have his friendship, his company it's all I care about and it's weird that I feel that way. I couldn't care less if I never have sex ever again if it means I can stay with Gino and the truth is that I never thought I'd hear myself say that.
"What an excellent job you boys did."
The sudden voice of a woman snaps me out of my thoughts and I quickly turn around to face a woman who looks to be in her mid-forties or maybe she might be older but either way she has a pretty youthful appearance with her thick blond hair and slim figure.
Her facial expression seems gentle and yet I get this feeling that she can be quite stern if she has to. She also gives me a kind of business woman vibe and yet by how casual she's dressed she gives another kind of vibe, I don't know but one thing that I do know is that she seems rather down to earth and rather beautiful considering her age.
"Hey Lysa." Gino casually voices out and I almost chocked on my own saliva just now.
Oh fuck!
That's Lysa Byron!?
Wow!
She's nothing like I had imagined her. I always imagined the owner of Fairfield ranch to be this high class business woman who's always dressed in the finest of clothes and decorated with the finest of jewelries and yet the person that I'm looking at right now isn't wearing any jewelry and her clothing is something that every day normal people would wear.
"Everything I've been working on is still in my room though." Gino tells her and she gives him a warm and gentle smile.
"Okay. Are you ready to bring your work in here?" She asks him in a soft and caring tone.
I already like this woman. She knows exactly how to approach Gino, knows exactly what to say to make him feel comfortable, to make him feel at ease. The moment he saw her, his facial expression suddenly changed and I like that. Lysa should come to Heartland way more often; she has a positive effect on him.
"I think so." He answers with a slight nod as he steps closer to Lysa and she puts an arm over Gino's shoulders in a loose hug.
"Let's get started then." She voices out and gives me a smile as they walk out of the office.
I let out the air that I had been unconsciously holding in my lungs as I step out of the office and exit the barn and I watch Gino and Lysa enter the house just as Saiga arrives to pick up the cougar cub.
Today was one hell of a day. First Gino almost gets attacked by a cougar and then we went up to Half-Mile Peak only to find an orphaned cougar cub on our way back. Got the office cleaned up, I somehow confessed my feelings for Gino and they were not returned but I learned something new about Gino which makes me love him even more.
I met the highly rich Lysa Byron who turned out to be the complete opposite of what I had thought she'd be and I just feel great. Now that my deepest secret has been revealed to Gino and that I know where I stand with him, I just feel free. I love this feeling…