AN: So long time no see… *cough*

Love is a pointless emotion, he fully acknowledged this. It had no place in a war, where death was waiting for them all.

Yet he still caught himself watching her, his heart still jumped at her name and he still felt his cheeks heat up when her eyes slid over him as she looked around the room.

It's was wonderful as it was painful. He had never had wine, but from what he had heard it must be a lot like having too much.

He had, however, learned to keep it buried deeper down. It only erupted whenever he saw her in danger and she was in danger much more often than he liked. Not that she couldn't take care of herself, she is deadly to any who try hurt any of those that she cares for.

He hated that stupid black wig, he hated pretending to be the one she cares most about. He ran a hand through his hair, trying to soothe his stress. For once the room that he shared with everyone was blissfully empty. He slumped down on his bed, the worn mattress groaned at the sudden weight, and rested his head in his hands.

Jean sighed, it was pointless thinking about what had been lost and the betrayals from those they considered comrades. He had been over it a hundred times and he still was no closer to making any sense of it all. He supposed that Armin would be the closest to figuring this all out, he was almost supernaturally smart and his talent for picking out enemy weaknesses was devastating.

I suppose he already knows what mine is. Jean thought with a grimace. Actually, who doesn't know what my weakness is? Excepting her and Eren.

Like she would ever realise it anyway. Jean stood up and stretched, trying to wash the bitter thoughts from his head. Today, however, it was proving exceedingly difficult.

He shouldn't have felt like this anyway and he tried so hard to forget about her. Jean knows that this is impossible and he has tried many times, but she crept back in, silken and soft, permeating his thoughts. He stuffed that stupid black wig down into the bottom of his bag.

He had dreamed of her realising how he felt and warming up to him. He was no fool, love never happened overnight. Even he fell for her slowly, after being struck by how beautiful she was, giving a piece more of himself to her every day.

He was interrupted from his thoughts by a gentle knock on the door.

The universe seems to taunt him today as Mikasa walked through the door. Someone that beautiful should not be allowed to be that strong or be able to make him feel as though there is no oxygen in the room.

"Eren isn't here. I haven't seen him since breakfast." Jean stowed his bag back under his bed and turned to face her again.

"I know where Eren is. I actually came to talk to you." She walked a little further into the room, the door swinging shut behind her.

He could offer no reply. His mind was preoccupied with stopping his cheeks from overheating. Mikasa didn't seem to notice as she continued.

"Thanks for what you did for Armin. He was quite disturbed by what that freak said. I know he appreciates you trying to make him feel better." Mikasa crossed her arms, her fists tightening at the thought of that creep trying to harm Armin.

"Armin saved my life once, I owe him. Also I consider him my friend, it was hard to watch that whole thing. I can't imagine having had to have gone through it." He sat back down on his bed, his eyes now fixed on her.

This time she nods at him and turns to go.

"Sasha is right you know, you need to start looking out for yourself. What happens when there is no one who is close enough to help you?" Mikasa stopped abruptly and turned back to face him.

Her eyes locked with his. If it was before this, he knew it would have thrown him off kilter, but he has spent far too long worrying about her from the side lines. His nightmares plagued by not being able to be there in time.

"What happens then? When you're too far away for me to help? What happens when you are no longer here?" His voice was sharp with emotion and he walked up close to her.

Mikasa had remained motionless since she turned around. He wanted to reach out and shake her, try to make her see some sense.

"Eren won't be the only one who will be devastated by your loss." Her eyes snapped up to his, her face flushing slightly. But still she remained silent.

"He won't be the only one to miss you when you're gone." Jean's breathing was heavy and he felt his pent up anger roll off of him in waves. He took in one deep breath and took a plunge.

"Do you know what will happen to me if you die? Because I do. I have dreamt about it a thousand times. Time stops as I watch the life bleed out of you, my heart matching yours beat for beat until they both stop. Only I don't die, I get to watch you for what feels like lifetimes until I wake up." He gently strokes a loose lock of her hair.

"Jean, I don't get what you're trying to say. What are you…" He doesn't let her finish. He kissed her then, hard and deeply. He pulled her close, until he could feel her warmth against his. He puts one hand to cup her cheek and his thumb stroked her skin. He could feel electricity where they touch. Mikasa gripped the fabric of his shirt and she moved her lips in time with his. With the greatest effort he pulled away.

"That's what I have been trying to say to you Mikasa. Ever since I met you, I have been trying to get you to see that." His heart thuds harder as he noticed her fingers brushing her lips. Her eyes met his and he can see the whirlwind of emotions within them.

"I know you don't feel like that about me. So all I will ever ask of you is that you stay safe." He pressed a gentle kiss to her forehead.

Before she had time to react he had made sure to already be out the door.

AN: So this is the shortest chapter so far… Sorry and hope you all enjoyed it So I'm thinking there should be a second part to this? Yes, no, don't care?

On that note, I'm going to mark this as complete… Not that I'm finished at all but I keep running into inspiration black holes so I would love for some prompts from you guys for the lovely Jeankasa or Leonhardt or whatever really

To those reviewers who have written me such lovely reviews you are all amazing! Twi-Hoster Girl I no longer need those compliments, even though my shoes are pretty dope

Thanks

~Kit