Chapter X: Regal's Last Stand
--x--
Raw was live from Kansas City Missouri, Mr. McMahon had announced that Mr. Kennedy was going to face William Regal in a match later tonight, and the loser would be… FIRED!! Katie Lea and Mickie James had just had a confrontation in the back, then Regal was shown walking to his office. He opened the door and was greeted by the sight of Machetti, a chocolate cake with 'sorry you got fired' written on it, and a bunch of colorful balloons.
"SURPRISE!" exclaimed Machetti in a greeting, "It's a 'Sorry You Got Fired' party!"
"Aren't you being a bit presumptuous?" asked Regal. "The match isn't until later tonight."
"Yeah, and I guess we have yet to see if you're going to go through with it or not," commented Machetti. "But the cake delivery guy said he had another delivery for tonight so I decided to set up a bit early. Really, I think it just adds to the surprise."
"Yes, an unnecessary party is very surprising," commented Regal. "But, Vince McMahon ordered the match, so that's the only reason I'm lowering myself to competing against someone with as little class as Mr. Kennedy."
"But since when has anything ANYONE has said meant anything to you?" asked Machetti. "I figured you'd substitute someone else into the match in your place."
"My job is on the line, I'm going to take care of this matter myself," replied Regal.
"Oh," said Machetti. "Well in this case, here's your card." Machetti took a greeting card from behind the cake and handed it to Regal.
"This says 'my condolences'," pointed out Regal. "I'm not dead you imbecile!"
"Well they didn't exactly have a card for 'Sorry You Just Lost Your Job, But You Deserve It'," explained Machetti. "I had to choose between Happy Birthday, My Condolences, Get Well Soon, and I'm Sorry."
"Why not the last one?" asked Regal.
"Because I'll be happy you're gone," answered Machetti simply. "The party is actually for everyone else. You're probably not going to eat any cake due to the fact that you have the last match of your career in under an hour. So once you're gone, everyone else is going to come in here and celebrate your dismissal."
"Hasn't it occurred to you, that I could beat Mr. Kennedy?" asked Regal. Machetti stared at Regal, then broke out laughing.
"Ha-ha, you… beat… ha ha ha… Kennedy?" laughed Machetti. "Oh, that's rich! Ha ha ha!"
"What's so funny?" came a voice as Shawn Michaels walked into the room.
"Hey Shawn!" greeted Machetti. "We're having a 'Sorry you got fired' party for our soon-to-be former General Manager. Wanna sign the card?" Machetti pointed to the card Regal was still holding. "I tried getting people in the locker room to sign it, but Super Crazy just stared at me, Hacksaw called me a Ho, Murdoch started singing some blues song that I've never heard of in my life, and Umaga looked like he wanted to eat me. I did manage to get Kennedy, London, Kendrick, Jeff Hardy, John Cena, and Triple H to sign it though."
Michaels shrugged and took the card from Regal, "Got a pen?" Machetti picked up a pen from behind the cake and tossed it to Michaels. "Did you sign your name big enough?" asked Michaels. "You're a regular John Hancock."
Machetti shrugged, "I wanted him to know who it was from."
"Alright, that's enough!" snapped Regal. "I won't stand here and let you embarrass me again. I'm still General Manager, and I'll still be General Manager when the night's over. So Machetti, you're going to be facing Lance Cade tonight."
"After all I went through to set up this party, you put me in a match against Cade?" questioned Machetti. "What was Umaga busy… oh wait… he and Jeff Hardy beat the snot out of each other. What about Khali… oh, no… he's gone home. But what about Snitsky… well… I suppose he's lost enough already… how about… damn… I can't think of anyone else. I guess you're really running out of people to punish me with huh?"
"Kid, it looks like your little party just made him angry," commented Michaels.
"Yeah," agreed Machetti. "Nothing I do seems to please him."
"Oh, Michaels, I almost forgot about you," said Regal.
"I just came to say that I was going to enjoy sitting back and watching you wrestle Mr. Kennedy tonight," pointed out Michaels. "I didn't know he was throwing a party."
"Well you might be sitting around tonight," said Regal. "But at One Night Stand, you won't be, because at One Night Stand, somebody's going to get hurt. Because whether it be Batista or Jericho, you Shawn Michaels, are going to be in a Stretcher Match."
Michaels stared at Regal, who looked proud of himself. "Wow," commented Machetti. "You ended up coming out of this worse than me. I've just got to wrestle Lance Cade, you need to fight in a Stretcher Match in two weeks."
"You may have a point there," agreed Regal. "Machetti, at One Night Stand, you'll have a match too. You'll be facing whoever is not in the Stretcher Match with Shawn Michaels… for the Intercontinental Championship.
"But… my contract forbids me from wrestling in an ECW ring," Machetti reminded him. "I'm not using this as an excuse, but I legally can't compete."
"I know," replied Regal. "But if you back out of the match… you'll have to forfeit your title. And once you're no longer a champion, I'm going to fire you on the spot."
"Well that's a buzz kill," commented Machetti as his grin faded and he glared at Regal. "But you won't be able to fire me. You won't be able to make it to One Night Stand… you won't even make it to next week. Once Kennedy gets through with you… you will be fired. And I will be there to give you the send off you deserve." Machetti turned and left the room.
"I think you just made him angry," pointed out Michaels.
"That was my intention," replied Regal.
"Well… I feel sorry for the poor unfortunate person you put him up against tonight," said Michaels.
"What are you talking about?" asked Regal.
"I trained that kid," explained Michaels.
"Yes, that does explain the blatant disrespect for authority," commented Regal. "Go on."
"Well, back when I was training him," said Michaels. "When I watched him wrestle it looked to me like he was having a good time in there. You know, just having fun. I thought maybe he wasn't giving it his all so I tried to get him to show some more aggression. I made a mistake… because I succeeded. I managed to get him really pissed by threatening to kick him and his two friends, London and Kendrick, out of the Shawn Michaels Wrestling Academy if he didn't get angry, and get serious. Well… he did. The kid was like an entirely different person, he was aggressive and was bent on destroying the other kid he was wrestling, and everything else that moved. The kid, had completely changed his personality, and between you and me, I prefer the 'happy-go-lucky' one he usually has. When Machetti got done with him, the other kid was so shaken up I had to convince him to come back to the Academy, because he was ready to quit. He came back, but he refused to wrestle Machetti through the duration of their time at the Academy. I never tried to get him angry again."
"So, he's throwing a little temper tantrum," reasoned Regal. "What's the big deal?"
"During his time here in the WWE, that kid has only gotten really angry on two occasions," explained Michaels. "The first, was when he woke up from the concussion he got at New Year's Revolution 2007. It went on WrestleMania 23, and took Dude Love dumping him on his head off of ladder and through a table to stop it. The other time, wasn't as bad, it was at SummerSlam 2007, Randy Orton decided it was a good idea to punt Machetti in the head during a WWE Championship match. I think you remember how that ended." Michaels turned and headed for the door, "I just hope that Cade, has some health insurance." Michaels left the room, leaving a slightly disturbed Regal standing in the room. The Batista versus Chris Jericho match was up next.
--x--
While the Jericho/Batista match started Zack Tyler was walking backstage to the locker room to get ready for his match that was up after it. But Maria came out of nowhere and hugged him. "Hey, how are you feeling?" asked Zack. "You took a few nasty bumps in your match out there."
"I'll be fine," replied Maria. "Its nothing compared to what you go through."
"So what brought this on?" Zack asked, since Maria had yet to release him from the hug.
Maria shrugged without letting him go, "Just because," she answered.
"Just because?" repeated Zack. "Well then I'm going to have to carry you to the locker room… just because I have a match in ten minutes." Zack lifted Maria up and threw her over his shoulder then started waling off down the hallway.
"Ten minutes?" repeated Maria. "Didn't you hear? Paul and Brian have their World Tag Team Title rematch up after the Batista/Jericho match. You'll be fine for at least half an hour if you include the commercial breaks."
"How could I forget about that?" wondered Zack.
Maria shrugged while still being carried, "My reason was better anyway."
"I guess I'll just have to find something else to do in my newly found time," commented Zack. "You'll have to do."
"But… I'm all sweaty from my match," protested Maria.
"And once my match comes on I'll be sweaty too," reasoned Zack. "The way I see it, I'm one step ahead."
"Can't beat that logic," said Maria. "Can you at least put me down?"
"No," answered Zack.
"Why not?" asked Maria.
"Just because," he replied with a grin.
--x--
Raw came back from a commercial break and William Regal got kicked out of his office by Mr. McMahon and Ted Dibiase. They both took advantage of the free cake inside. Before the break Hardcore Holly and Cody Rhodes retained their World Tag Team Championships against London and Kendrick when Rhodes reversed a Sliced Bread Number Two from Kendrick into a mid air DDT for the pin. The 'WWE Slam of the week' was shown featuring Lance Cade punching Trevor Murdoch's lights out while he was in mid-song. The cameras then went to the arena where the bell rang getting everyone's attention for the next bout.
Riot Time hit as Machetti came out from the back with his briefcase, title, and custom t-shirt. "Ladies and gentlemen the following contest is scheduled for one-fall, introducing first, from Detroit Michigan, weighing in at two hundred fifteen pounds, he is Mr. Money in the Bank and the WWE Intercontinental Champion, MACHETT!!" Machetti sprinted down to the ring and slid inside, Machetti got back up and handed his briefcase and title to the referee and pulled off his shirt and threw it into the crowd. Then he turned to face the entrance ramp, there was no back-flip tonight, Machetti appeared to be in a bad mood. This probably wasn't going to turn out well for Lance Cade.
Lance Cade's new theme music hit (A/N: No one's heard it yet, but since he turned on Murdoch he's obviously going to get a new theme… like the last time they split up.) and Cade came out from the back and headed down to the ring, looking cocky and confident. As far as he was concerned, he had a match with the Intercontinental Champion, and Mr. Money in the Bank, if he won, he'd be in line for a shot at either of those. "And the opponent, weighing in at two hundred and sixty one pounds, from Nashville Tennessee, LANCE CADE!!" Cade came down to the ring and got inside, unaware of the mental instability of his opponent. The referee called for the bell and the match was underway.
Cade held out his hands for a lock up, but Machetti rushed across the ring and took him down with a double leg take down. Machetti stomped on the back of Cade's knee, but Cade kicked out at Machetti and rolled away, then got up to his feet. But Machetti ran over and took him down with a clothesline, then pulled Cade back up and whipped him across the ring into the corner. Machetti ran at Cade, then jumped up into the air and hit a TURNBUCKLE BODY SPLASH!! Machetti jumped up and got his legs around Cade's neck, then fell back and sent him flying across the ring with a hurricurana. Cade fought up off of the mat and onto his hands and knees, but Machetti ran at him and hit a low dropkick to the side, CADE WAS LAUNCHED ACROSS THE RING, UNDER THE BOTTOM ROPE, AND DOWN TO THE FLOOR!! Cade rolled over to the barricade and pulled himself back up then turned around to face the ring, but Machetti jumped up onto the top rope then and spun horizontally through the air before taking Cade down to the floor, SPRINGBOARD SPINNING CROSSBODY!! The referee started the ring out count as Machetti rolled to the side and got back up ONE!! Machetti then pulled Cade back up to his feet and whipped Cade into the steps, and he hit with a loud clang. Machetti ran at Cade and hit him with a hard dropkick to the back, CADE WAS RAMMED INTO THE STEPS AGAIN!!
The referee was at THREE in the count, but Machetti completely ignored him as he got back up. Machetti Cade up to his feet and dragged him over to the barricade then lifted Cade up off of the ground and slammed him down on top of the barricade. Cade grimaced as he was jammed down onto the barricade, there probably weren't going to be any kids in Cade's immediate future. The referee counted to FOUR, but Machetti still didn't seem to care. With Cade still on the barricade, Machetti went to the corner of the ring and climbed up onto the ring apron. The referee came over and shouted at Machetti to get in the ring, then counted FIVE. Machetti ignored the official, then ran along the ring apron and launched himself off of it Cade, MISSILE DROPKICK TO CADE!! Machetti went crashing down to the floor, while Cade fell into the crowd. Machetti pulled himself up off of the floor as the referee counted SIX, then he jumped up onto the barricade and back-flipped off of it, SHOOTING STAR PRESS OFF OF THE BARRICADE AND ONTO CADE IN THE CROWD!!
Machetti staggered back up to his feet when the referee counted EIGHT, then he grabbed Cade and threw him over the barricade and back onto the floor. At NINE Machetti joined Cade on the ringside floor, then rolled Cade and got into the ring himself just before the referee counted TEN. The fans cheered and were happy that a second match didn't end in a double count out that night. Machetti immediately went back on the attack, he pulled Cade up to his feet then whipped him into the corner. Machetti ran across the ring and jumped up into the air TURNBUCKLE BODY SPLA—CADE MOVED!! Machetti slammed into the turnbuckle and bounced off of it. Cade came over and swung at Machetti for a big right hand, BUT MACHETTI DUCKED IT! Machetti grabbed onto Cade and lifted him up for a suplex, then turned around and dropped him down on the top rope. Cade stayed there on the rope as Machetti went to the corner and climbed up onto the top rope. Machetti lunged off of the corner LEG DROP ONTO THE BACK OF CADE'S HEAD!! Cade flipped forward off of the ropes and landed hard on his back in the ring.
Machetti shot back up to his feet and ran across the ring, then bounced off of the ropes and dropped downward. BASEBALL SLIDE TO CADE!! Cade went flying under the bottom rope AND SLAMMED INTO THE SIDE OF THE ANNOUNCE TABLE!! Cade fell to the floor and rolled away from the table while J.R. and King commented about the for Cade had hit the table with, which caused it to push them backwards. Machetti stood in the ring then grabbed onto the top rope and hoisted himself up and onto it. Machetti launched himself off of the rope and out of the ring with a spinning back-flip, CORKSCREW SHOOTING STAR PRESS PLANCHA ONTO CADE!! The referee glared out of the ring at Machetti for leaving the ring again and started another ring out count. ONE!
Machetti pulled himself up onto the announce table at TWO, then jumped up onto the announce table and back-flipped off of it, MOONSAULT OFF OF THE ANNOUCNE TABLE ONTO CADE!! The referee counted to THREE as Machetti rolled off of Cade and held his stomach. At FOUR Machetti got back up, and at FIVE he had pulled Cade back up to his feet as well. Machetti grabbed Cade and ran along ringside with him, THEN DROVE CADE FACE-FIRST INTO THE STEEL RING POST!! Cade went flying backwards and landed hard on his back. The referee counted to SIX as Machetti turned around and walked back over to Cade. Machetti pulled Cade back up and had him rolled back into the ring at SEVEN. Machetti slid into the ring before EIGHT then pulled Cade back up off of the mat and whipped him into the corner. Machetti ran at Cade at full speed, BUT CADE MOVED!! Only this time, Machetti had it scouted and jumped up onto the top rope. Cade and Machetti turned around at the same time and Machetti launched himself out of the corner with a back-flip and caught Cade on the way down, SHOOTING STAR PRESS DDT!! Cade hit the mat so hard, then he practically bounced up off of the mat and rolled onto his back.
Machetti got back up to his feet then ran over Cade and jumped up onto the top rope, Machetti came off with a spinning back-flip, SPRINGBOARD CORKSCREW MOONSAULT ONTO CADE!! Machetti stayed on Cade and the referee started to count a pin, ONE… TW—BUT MACHETTI JUST STOOD UP!! Machetti reached down and pulled Cade up off of the mat, ignoring the referee who was shouting at him for getting up off of the pin attempt… if it was a pin attempt. Machetti whipped Cade across the ring into the corner, then ran at him AND DROVE HIS FEET INTO CADE'S STOMACH FOR A RUNNING DROPKICK!! Cade slumped against the ropes as Machetti got out of the ring and onto the ring apron, then climbed up onto the top rope behind Cade. Machetti pushed Cade and sent him staggered forward, Machetti launched himself out of the corner and flipped over Cade's head while driving it hard down to the mat. (Picture John Cena's Blockbuster, or whatever he calls it these days, only off of the top rope.)
Machetti got back up and pulled Cade up off of the mat. Machetti whipped Cade into the ropes, then ran in the other direction and bounced off of the ropes on the other side of the ring at the same time Cade did, Machetti and Cade rushed at each other at full speed, Machetti jumped up into the air and positioned his body so it was moving sideways, RUNNING CROSSBO—CADE DROPPED DOWN AND DUCKED IT!! Machetti flew over Cade's head and slammed down to the mat. Machetti got back up and turned around, BUT CADE RUSHED IN AND PRACTICALLY TOOK HIS HEAD OFF WITH A LARIAT CLOTHESLINE!! Cade pressed his hand's down into Machetti's chest for a lateral press and a pin, ONE… TWO… T—MACHETTI KICKED OUT!! Cade got back up and stared down at Machetti, then pulled him back up off of the mat and whipped him into the ropes. Cade caught Machetti as he came back and lifted him up into the air, SPINEBUST—MACHETTI DROVE HIS FEET INTO CADE'S STOMACH, THEN SWUNG AROUND AND DROVE CADE'S FACE DOWN TO THE MAT!! MACHETTI COUNTERED WITH A DDT!!
Machetti got back up and whipped Cade into the ropes, Cade bounced off and Machetti caught him and launched him up into the air, then slammed him back down for a flapjack… or… THE FLATLINER!! Cade was lying on his face, out cold but Machetti didn't go for a pin, he kicked Cade in the side, then went to the ropes and got out of the ring. It took about ten seconds, but Cade recovered enough and pushed himself up onto his hands and knees. On the ring apron Machetti hoisted himself up onto the top rope, then springboarded off of it and across the ring, SPRINGBOARD LEG DROP TO THE BACK OF CADE'S HEAD!! Cade was once again slammed face-first down to the mat, but once again, Machetti didn't even bother going for a pin. He was just out to destroy Cade, as he had been doing the entire match. Machetti pulled Cade up off of the mat and whipped him into the corner, then walked over and lifted him up onto the top rope. Machetti climbed up and stood on the top rope across from Cade then hoisted him up into the air and over his shoulder while lunging back off out of the corner, FLATLINER OFF OF THE TOP ROPE!! Cade's head was driving hard down into the mat, and he rolled over onto his back, completely out cold. Machetti subconsciously rolled onto his stomach and part of his arm went over Cade's chest. The referee decided to interpret it as a cover and put Cade out of his misery by making the count, ONE… TWO… THREE! MACHETTI GOT THE PIN!!
Riot Time hit and the referee went and got the Money in the Bank Briefcase and Intercontinental Title from ringside. Machetti stood up in the middle of the ring and glanced down at Cade with a frown on his face. Machetti had won the match but he didn't seem satisfied. The referee got back in the ring and held out the Money in the Bank Briefcase for Machetti, the Intercontinental Championship was wrapped around it. Machetti glared at the referee and took the briefcase, the referee came over and raised Machetti's arm up into the air. But suddenly, Machetti pulled the referee to him, AND BLASTED HIM IN THE FACE WITH THE BRIEFCASE!! The referee fell down to the mat out cold, and Machetti put the briefcase down, then reached down and pulled the referee back up. Machetti whipped the referee into the ropes then caught him as he came back, FLATLINER ONTO THE BRIEFCASE!! MACHETTI WAS OUT OF CONTROL!! Machetti reached down and pulled the unconscious official up off of the mat with the back of his shirt, then ran to the ropes AND THREW THE REFEREE OVER THE TOP ROPE AND OUT OF THE RING!!
Machetti stood in the middle of the ring and glanced over at Cade, who was still lying on the mat where Machetti had left him. But then the fans cheered, LONDON, KENDRICK, AND MARIA CAME RUNNING DOWN THE RAMP!! London and Kendrick quickly slid into the ring, but Maria was a lot more apprehensive. Kendrick reached Machetti first, but got kneed in the stomach and was then whipped into the corner. London ran in and kicked Machetti in the side, then followed up with a kick to the stomach. London jumped up and did a back-flip, DROPSAU—MACHETTI CAUGHT LONDON'S LEGS!! Machetti dropped down and launched London up into the air and into the corner. But London managed to recover enough to pull himself up onto the top rope. London back-flipped out of the corner, MOONSAU—MACHETTI CAUGHT HIM!! Machetti held London up on his shoulder then ran across the ring and threw him off AND OUT OF THE RING!! Maria dove out of the way as London slammed down to the floor next to her. Kendrick ran in and clubbed Machetti on the back, then he grabbed Machetti and went to whip him into the corner, but Machetti reversed it and sent Kendrick into the corner instead. Machetti ran at Kendrick at full speed, BUT KENDRICK MOVED!! Machetti slammed into the turnbuckle while Kendrick moved the Money in the Bank Briefcase closer. Kendrick turned and ran at Machetti, then grabbed him and ran up the turnbuckle before he back-flipped off, SLICED BREAD NUMBER TWO… ONTO THE BRIEFCASE!!
Maria came over and she and Kendrick stared down at Machetti, wondering if the bump he took onto the briefcase was enough to calm him down. Machetti slowly sat up then stood up. "Nice hit," he commented, before he spun around AND SLAPPED KENDRICK ACROSS THE FACE!! Maria backed away into the corner where Cade was only just getting up, while Machetti grabbed Kendrick and whipped him into the ropes. Kendrick bounced off but Machetti ran at him and leap-frogged him. Kendrick kept going and bounced off of the ropes on the other side of the ring, then raced towards Machetti. But Machetti bent down and launched Kendrick up into the air, BACK BODY DROP OUT OF THE RING!! Kendrick landed hard on the floor next to London, who had only just gotten back up. Machetti turned around and stared at Maria and Cade, the latter of which was leaning against the corner. Machetti slowly approached, but Cade suddenly shoved Maria towards Machetti, then bailed out of the ring, he had gotten enough of a beating during the match, he decided to leave the ring while he still could. At the same time, Maria was launched towards Machetti, but Machetti had managed to stop her before she slammed into him. Maria tried to fight free, but Machetti held onto her, then lifted her up and held her up over his head for a military press. Machetti walked over to the ropes while holding Maria up over his head, THEN HE THREW HER OUT OF THE RING!! Maria slammed into London and Kendrick, and all three of them were knocked down to the floor.
Machetti watched from the ring as Cade went around London, Kendrick, and Maria and backed up the entrance ramp. The fans popped and Machetti's glared intensified. Cade thought Machetti was glaring at him, but he failed to notice the person that had just come out from the back and that was approaching him from behind. Cade eventually backed into someone, and turned around to face them, SWEET CHIN MUSIC!! Cade went crashing down to the mat and laid still at the feet of Shawn Michaels. Michaels walked down the ramp and passed Kendrick, London, and Maria as he approached the ring. Before getting in, Michaels lifted the ring apron and fished out a chair. When Machetti saw the weapon, he backed away from the ropes and Michaels got in the ring. HBK rushed at Machetti and swung the chair at his face, BUT MACHETTI DUCKED IT!! Michaels and Machetti spun around, but Machetti jumped back up and hit a spinning wheel kick to the face, knocking Michaels on his back, and forcing him to drop the chair. Machetti picked up the chair and lifted it up over his head, then went to bring it down on Michaels, BUT HBK MOVED!! Machetti slammed the mat with the chair, but quickly recovered as Michaels got back up. Machetti held the chair in front of him and turned to face Michaels, SWEET CHIN MUSIC!! Michaels kicked the chair, and drove it back into Machetti's face. Machetti fell on his back and stopped moving, Michaels picked up the chair and cautiously walked over. Machetti eventually came to and fought up onto his knees, but then he rushed at Michaels again, HBK SIDE-STEPPED MACHETTI, THEN SMASHED THE CHAIR INTO THE BACK OF HIS HEAD!! Machetti fell forward on his hands and knee, but managed to remain conscious. Machetti slowly pulled himself back up then turned around, SWEET CHIN MUSIC!! Michaels kicked Machetti in the chin and knocked him on his back again.
Michaels went and picked up the chair, unfolded it, then sat down in it and waited for Machetti to regain consciousness. When Machetti finally did his up held his hand to his mouth and started checking his teeth. Michaels raised an eyebrow at Machetti's odd behavior, then Machetti turned and glanced at him. "Nope, you didn't knock any of my teeth out," Machetti reported with a smirk. Michaels nodded then stood up, folded up the chair, and left the ring. Michaels gave London, Kendrick, and Maria a thumbs up sign, then walked passed them to the back. London, Kendrick, and Maria instantly went to get in the ring, but this time, Maria reached Machetti first and she quickly knelt down in front of Machetti, who was still sitting on the mat. Machetti smiled at Maria, but suddenly SMACK!! Maria slapped him clean across the face and shouted, "DON'T YOU EVER SCARE ME LIKE THAT AGAIN!!" Then she quickly leaned in and kissed Machetti. Machetti smiled, then London and Kendrick came over and pulled him back up to his feet. Maria got out of the way and went to pick up Machetti's briefcase, but London and Kendrick suddenly grabbed Machetti, AND THREW HIM OVER THE TOP ROPE AND OUT OF THE RING!! Maria stared at London and Kendrick in horror, but then they both smiled, got out of the ring, and helped Machetti up. "Now we're even," Kendrick told him. Maria looked slightly relieved as she got out of the ring and handed Machetti his briefcase. With that the four of them headed to the back and Raw went to a commercial break.
--x--
Raw was still in progress, Kennedy and Regal were facing off in their Loser is Fired Match. Regal had changed the match to a No Disqualification Match, halfway through it, then got some brass knuckles. Regal stood in the ring and waited for Kennedy to get up so he could blast him with the knucks. Kennedy got up and Regal rushed him, BUT KENNEDY KICKED HIM IN THE STOMACH, MIC CHECK!! Kennedy rolled Regal onto his back and made the pin, ONE… TWO… THREE! KENNEDY WINS! REGAL IS FIRED!! Turn Up the Trouble played as Kennedy sat up in the corner, relieved that he had won the match. Machetti ran down to the ring and slid inside, then helped Kennedy up and raised his arm up into the air. The fans cheered Kennedy, and the fact that Regal was finally gone. Machetti patted Kennedy on the back, then went over and picked up the mic that he was practically lying on. Kennedy's music was turned down, it appeared that Machetti had something to say. Machetti knelt down next to Regal who was still on his back on the mat.
"Regal?" Machetti called out. "Reeeeegallll… can you hear me? In case you haven't realized it yet… YOU JUST LOST YOUR JOB!!" Machetti stood up and glanced down at Regal who was glaring at him. "Hold on, hold on," said Machetti. "I'm gonna take a page out of Mr. McMahon's book for a second here." Machetti paused and cleared his throat then in a perfect Vince McMahon impersonation he said, "MISTER REGAL… YOU'RE FFFFIIIIRRREEEEEDDDD!!" The fans cheered loudly at that revelration, while Regal stood up and glared at Machetti and looked like he wanted to hit him with the brass knuckles. "Uh-uh-uh," said Machetti. "You can't hit me. You don't work here any more. That means, if you punch me… especially with those brass knucks, the company that I am currently an employee of can sue you for Aggravated Assault." Regal dropped the knucks and glared at Machetti, who smirked then turned to Kennedy. "Ken… I don't know about you… but I really feel like singing right now…" Kennedy rolled his eyes while Regal glared daggers at Machetti. "Na-na-na-na, na-na-na-na, hey, hey, hey, goodbye!" Regal continued to glare at Machetti as he continued to sing, the fans quickly started joining in, NA-NA-NA-NA, NA-NA-NA-NA, HEY-HEY-HEY! GOODBYE!! While the fans continued singing, Machetti got out of the ring and walked over to the time-keeper's corner and encouraged Lillian Garcia, as well as everyone else there to sing too. Machetti next went over to King and J.R. and motioned for them to join in, King seemed eager, but J.R. was a little more restrained and said something about not being able to sing.
The entire arena was singing goodbye to Regal, who slowly left the ring and headed up the ramp. Machetti got back in the ring and tossed Kennedy a mic and the two of them continued to lead the entire arena in song, NA-NA-NA-NA, NA-NA-NA-NA, HEY-HEY-HEY! GOODBYE!! "AND GOOD RIDDENCE!" shouted Machetti as Regal headed to the back looking dejected. Raw went to a commercial break, General Manager and King William Regal, was finally gone.
--x--
Bet you didn't see that coming did ya? Upon seeing the chapter, the majority of you probably assumed it would be my Machetti-influenced rendition of Regal getting fired. But none of you expected to learn about the whole 'Evil Machetti' personality, did you? Go ahead, admit it, because I didn't expect it either. I was about to post this on Wednesday night, but I decided I was unhappy with it. So I made a few changes and changed the match, and there you go, the 'secret behind Evil Machetti'.
I'd like to state for the record though, Regal's last act as General Manager concerning Machetti still stands. At One Night Stand Machetti has to face Chris Jericho for the Intercontinental Championship. And if he doesn't compete in the match, he will have to forfeit his title.
'Till Next Time…
Peace!