Chapter 10 I Can't Stand It Anymore

Nick

Joe was so depressed. That may sound weird but he sort of helped me to deal with my recent situation. He and Stella were just another perfect example for what happens when friends turn into a couple. I felt awful for him, hello he's my brother, but that was the proof I had needed to totally give up on me and Delilah. Well, until I found out why Stella broke up with him.

Now I only felt guilty. And horrible. And like the worst brother on earth and an incredible liar.

I felt all dizzy somehow and I was pretty sure that I wasn't able to stand up now if I didn't want to fall. All I wanted was to be somewhere else right now, no I actually wanted to travel back in time and prevent Stella's & Joe's break up. Well was that even possible? Well probably. I could have kept their harmony alive just by doing what I'd love to do anyway... asking Delilah out.

While I was wondering about all this to keep myself sitting on the bed, Kevin rushed in.

"Joe, are you feeling any better?" he asked quietly.

"Yeah, I can't waste all my life crying on my bed, right?" he sniffed.

"Aww, I'm so glad that you're not completely – Oh my God, Nick, you're so pale! What's wrong with you?" Kevin had turned his head and was looking at me now. Well, it was like a shocked stare, I guess I was looking too horrible to be okay.

"I- to be honest I'm not so sure. But don't worry about me, just focus..."

Kevin didn't let me finish: "Oh no, Joe, did you tell him why you guys broke up?"

Joe sat up on his bed. Wow he had literally cried his eyes out. "I didn't mean to. He just didn't stop bothering me so blame him, not me!"

Now Kevin was looking at me again. "You're looking like you're about to faint, bro."

"I'm just feeling so guilty. I mean I could have prevented all of this just by doing what I still want to do actually."

"I know that you're not over Delilah. Macy couldn't help but tell me because she felt horrible watching you suffer. It's okay, I don't mind that you lied. Just take your time or...well...just ask her out. Something keeps telling me that she's just waiting for you to make the first step."

"Hmm, well I don't think so but I can't stand it anymore. I hate feeling this way, I hate that I caused all of this drama and stuff. I'll just go and tell her, like right now."

I tried to stand up but I hardly was able to. Just take a deep breath Nick, you do it, you know you can. Okay let's go. I was so willing to go out there and talk to Delilah, I had to help her with her biology project anyway. Finally, my body let me stand up again and I found myself down the pole a few seconds later. When I just wanted to get out of the front door my parents noticed that I was in such a hurry.

"Sweetie, where are you going?" my mom asked.

"I'm helping the new girl in my grade with her biology project." That wasn't even a lie. Maybe I'm not that big of a liar anymore?

"Oh, a new girl? Do you... like her? I think you know what I mean..." Oh God, why did Dad always have to ask such unbelievable questions?

"Err, well maybe you should know that she's Delilah Stevens."

"Are you serious?!"

"Yeah, sure. Look, I really got to go now, I don't want to keep her waiting. See you."

And I was out the door. Okay, in a few minutes from now I would probaby have told her all I was planning to say to her. But would we still be able to talk to each other ever again? Who knew? I didn't. I was risking to loose everything but I knew that it was the right thing to do. It was the only option if I didn't want to go crazy.

There weren't many cars out on the streets today so I arrived five minutes earlier than I expected.

Well I didn't seem to be alone at the parking lot, Delilah caught my eye while she was slamming the door of her car.

I so wasn't ready to tell her about my feelings already so I tried to hide in my car. It worked somehow. I watched her walking down the street and started to wonder why I hadn't noticed how hot the way she walked was. She arrived at the entrance and shut the door so I got out the car and finally made my way to the school's library. Okay, you're almost there. Now take one more deep breath and then just open the door and tell her everything.

It wasn't hard to find her, mostly because she was on the phone again but she didn't talk calm this time, oh no she was more like screaming.

"You know what? If you don't stop that shit, all I can say is screw you, bastards!" She hung up & turned around.

"Oh, err Nick, how long have you been standing here already?"

"Well, long enough to notice that you want those bastards to be screwed." She laughed and I smiled. Gosh I love the way she looks when she was laughing. Well I guess I love everything oh so little thing about her.

"By the way, may I ask who those bastards are?"

She was still smiling at me when she answered: "My management. They're driving me crazy lately. Oh, I still need something from my locker..."

"Oh, well let's go get it then." This was perfect. In the library were so many people still, it would be awkward to say "Oh, by the way, I love you." in there. While we were walking down the hallway I was busy checking how many people were there to interrupt me. Perfect. I pulled her into a darker part of the hallway without warning. Probably not my best idea. She looked, oh well...surprised.

I just thought the darkness would make it all a bit more romantic – and a bit easier for me.

"Err, okay Nick I got no idea what you want to do here but..."

"Delilah, I got to tell you something and it would be way easier for me if you just listen to me now, okay?"

"Err, okay."

"Great...so...I don't really know where to start...err...you know that I like you, right?"

She nodded.

"Okay, good. Well I...I like you a lot... and....gosh this is so hard.... I just think that I'm feeling more for you than just friendship. No, I know that I do. But if you..."

"Oh shut up!" She smiled that beautiful smile, put her arms around my neck and then everything became totally blur somehow until I realized that we were kissing. This was more than I had expected and definitely all I had ever wanted. I felt like... I'm not sure how to describe it without sounding cheesy but it was the best feeling I've ever had, that's for sure. Indescribable.

When she released me again there was only one thing I wanted to do. No two, actually three things I wanted to do:

Go and tell the world how happy I was, writing a song about all this and reliving the last few moments.

Delilah was smiling at me again but I had no idea what to say besides: "Wow....that was....wow."

"You're repeating yourself." She giggled.

All I did was smiling, thinking of something I could reply just wasn't possible.

When I found my voice again I still had no idea what to say so I used the worst answer ever:

"I'm so sorry but I really got to go now, I should check on Joe... I'm really sorry, seriously. Are you mad now?"

"No, of course not. Just go, I see you tomorrow then." She looked disappointed.

My brain started to work again, pretty slow but that was better than nothing.

"If you want you you could join me of course... I'd love to show you my house anyway."

"Oh really? Well, I'll so join you then."

None of us cared about that stupid biology project any longer when we were walking down the parking lot. I couldn't believe that that wasn't just a dream.