Chapter Ten: Choosing

Days passed, clear and cold. Allan was always out and about, usually training with the men as there wasn't much else for him to do, other than the odd, sheriff-style emergency, until springtime. Deirdre found herself wishing for a blizzard to drive him indoors for a few days. It seemed to her that Allan was avoiding her and she didn't know why. Marian found her by an open window looking down at the training ground, a troubled expression on her face.

"What's wrong?" Marian sidled up to Deirdre, who jumped then glared.

"You startled me," she growled, flushing. What in Heaven's name is wrong with you? How did you not hear her coming? Or see her? How many times has knowing your surroundings saved your life? Or your hand? Fool!

Grunting, yelling, and the sound of wood striking wood, sometimes flesh, drifted through the open window. Marian craned her neck, looking down at the courtyard. Despite the cold, many of the men were shirtless, sweating from their exertions. Allan and Guy were there, sparring together, seeming to be evenly matched as the sun bounced off their glistening chests and backs. Pursing her lips thoughtfully, Marian asked, "So which one?"

Deirdre jumped a bit again, lost in her reverie of wondering how she had been startled. The irony did not escape her, nor did it amuse her as it normally would have. "Which one what?"

"Well, we haven't spoken much since Christmas, but it seems to me that you and Guy came back from touring the village as…friends. So do you favor Guy now?" Marian continued to stare down at the men.

"Guy kissed me, that's all." No need to snap at her, Dree. She took a deep breath before continuing. "I was nice to him and he took it for something more."

Marian snorted, "He does that on occasion." She hesitated before adding, "So you still like Allan."

"Yes, but I'm not sure Allan still likes me." Tears welled, threatening to spill.

Marian sighed. She nibbled her lower lip. Eyes still on the courtyard, she opened her mouth as if to speak, then closed it. She turned to Deirdre and frowned.

Deirdre raised her chin and swiped at her eyes.

Marian licked her lips and put a hand on Deirdre's arm. "Look, if you want my advice…"

"I don't."

Marian stopped, eyes wide in shock as she turned her face from the window. The look on her face set Deirdre to laughing. "All right, all right. Tell me what you'd do."

Marian swallowed and cast a sidelong glance back toward the window. Her back was ramrod straight. "Guy is powerful. He is rich, he has lands-not family lands, but they are his for now-and he is ambitious. He is also of a noble family, a Norman family, and we all know the Normans are the power these days. Allan is nice, I suppose, but he is poor and he has nothing, not even a bloodline. All he has is ambition, perhaps greed. Which do you think your father would allow?"

Deirdre looked thoughtfully at her friend for a moment. Marian's neck was red; she was hiding something. "You're right, Marian. I've vexed my father long enough. Time to make him happy."

Deirdre left Marian at the window-sill, then went to her rooms to change and grab her cloak. She went outside, leaving behind some mystified maids, and marched straight for the training grounds.

She arrived as the men were finishing up. Guy had just pulled his shirt on and spotted Deirdre coming toward them over Allan's head—the smile on his face made Allan turn around in perplexity. He saw Deirdre and frowned at Guy's reaction to her and at the smile on her face that he was sure was meant for Guy. He quickly replaced the frown with a grin though, prepared to joke his way out of the situation.

"Good afternoon, gentlemen."

Allan looked around, making a bit of a show out of it. "Ain't no gentlemen here, milady. Just me and Guy and a bunch o' guards. See ya, Guy." Allan pulled on his shirt and turned to leave, but Deirdre smiled at him and held her hand out to stop him. "I'd like a word if I may, Allan. You'll excuse us, Sir Guy?"

The smile faded from Guy's face. "Of course. Lady Deirdre. Allan." His emphasis on her status and his lack was not lost on either of them as he stalked away.

"Allan, I could really use your help." Deirdre had decided that there was one sure way she would be able to see a lot of Allan.

"Sure. What'd you 'ave in mind?" Allan asked, nonplussed.

"Well, I've been watching you practice." Deirdre held her cloak tight and bit her lip, blinking rapidly and doing her best to look worried.

"You 'ave?" Allan grinned wide, pleased at her admission, particularly when she colored and looked quickly away from the broad shoulders still visible under his shirt.

"Yes. And I'd really like it if you'd..." Deirdre looked at the ground, then back up at his face. "I mean, can you please..."

"What is it, milady?"

Allan's drawn brows and cocked head meant she had him. "Can you teach me to use a sword?"

Deirdre knew she would have to hide her own skill, but it would be worth it to spend time with Allan.

"You? But you're…" he had been about to say, "a woman," but stopped as he thought of the Night Watchman. "Sure you don't want Guy?"

"I'm sure he's far too busy to help with such a lowly task. But you could find the time for me, couldn't you?"

Allan's smile wavered at the mention of the chore being below Guy. Naturally, not below me. But, I'll get to spend time with 'er, and we'll be awfully close during that time. "Well, o'course I can. When d'ya wanna start?"

Deirdre whipped off her cloak—she was wearing pants instead of a skirt. "How about now?" She grinned and Allan grinned back at her as he handed her a wooden practice sword.

Guy strode away angrily, not looking back.

I was patient with Marian and it cost me. I will NOT make the same mistake with Deirdre. Her family's wealth and power can restore my family name and bring me out from under the sheriff's thumb, closer to the prince and even more power. I will not let all of that slip away over a young girl's misguided feelings for some...commoner.

Even if Allan returns her feelings, and he'd be a fool not to, there is no way her father will accept him. At the very worst, he could disown her and I'll be right back here, under the sheriff's thumb. Or, Deirdre might keep her wealth, but be forced to marry Allan if her father suspects anything untoward has happened between them. That simply cannot happen. No, I will have to take matters into my own hands. I will marry Deirdre, gaining control of her lands and money. And who knows—since Marian is fatherless and helpless now, maybe I'll take her as my mistress.

He smiled to himself at the thought of how this would all work out as he called for one of his most trusted guards to come to him in his chambers.