A/N: Chapter for you. Hope you enjoy.
"Are you sure you'd rather be spending a night in with me and a baby than going out and doing whatever the terrible trio is going to get themselves into next?" Serena asks skeptically.
Casey nods her head and casts her gaze down to her wringing hands. "I'm sure. You're…I really need someone to talk to right now and you seem like a really good person to talk to."
Serena chuckles at the statement and shrugs her shoulders. "I guess you could say that." she says before her tone turns serious. "Are you alright? Is it something serious?"
"I…kind of. No…not kind of. It's really serious…" Casey murmurs as she continues to nervously wring her hands.
"Oh dear." Serena murmurs before she stands up with her sleeping infant. "Here, let me put her down for bed and I'll be back so we can talk okay?"
Casey nods her head slowly and takes several deep breaths at what she's about to do. Serena seems like a good trustworthy to be able to confide in right now. She needs someone and telling Kim via video chat with the small possibility that Abbie may be lurking is definitely out of the question right now. So Serena is going to have to be her Kim away from home for the moment.
Moments later, Serena returns to the living room and retakes her seat on the couch. "Okay, so what's going on? Is it anything I can help with."
"I—I don't know if you can help me but I just…" Casey pauses as she bites down nervously on her lower lip. "I really messed something up; big time and I'm really not sure of what I'm supposed to do right now. My head is so confused and I just don't know what to do."
"Well, tell me what's going on, and I might be able to give a little insight if I can." Serena eggs on gently.
Casey nods and shamefully takes a deep breath. "Yesterday I…JJ and I got in a fight. She needed her space so I decided to leave for a little while so I could gather my own thoughts together. I was sitting alone when Alex joined me and we sort of started talking. I don't really know exactly what happened after that but Alex and I kissed…and it wasn't just like a small kiss either; we practically made out, kind of kiss."
"Oh gosh…" Serena gasps as she puts her hand over her mouth. "Casey that's…I don't know what to say."
"I'm not going to try to make excuses for what I did because I know that I was wrong. I just…I feel really terrible right now. I'm engaged to Jennifer and I went behind her back and made out with her sister of all people. This isn't fair to her. This isn't fair to her and this isn't fair to Alex either. I know that I shouldn't keep this from JJ but I just can't bring my self to tell her. She's been having issues with her temper lately and I really don't want to upset her anymore over a stupid mistake of mine."
"Honestly, Casey, I really don't know what to tell you to do. Actually, I don't really think there is anything that I can tell you but it has to be what your heart feels is right. The right thing to do would be to be honest with your fiancée and tell her what happened. Jen is really understanding, I'm sure she would accept that it was just an accident."
Casey shakes her head vigorously as tears begin to form in her eyes. "N-no Serena, you don't understand. She's been so different lately that I know she's going to get mad at me if I tell her. I don't want her to get mad at me anymore."
"Do you love her?" Serena asks inquisitively with a keen raise of her eyebrow. "Do you love JJ?"
"…y-yes, I love her. I'm her fiancée and I'm going to marry her…o-of course I love her. Why wouldn't I?"
"Why would you kiss Alex if you did like you said you did? Listen, I know it's really not my business, but I think you did what you did because you're not sure."
"I am sure. I know I love her. I lover her and she makes me happy. I'm happy with her. Just because we fight sometimes doesn't mean we don't love each other, doesn't it? Don't you and Olivia fight sometimes?"
Serena chuckles quietly before she nods her head. "Boy do we fight. And you're right, just because we fight, doesn't mean we aren't in love, but at the same time, how do those fights make you feel? Does it make you question? Or is it something that you are just able to blow off?"
Casey doesn't answer the question right away, but instead, she chooses to avoid it. "I want my wedding dress to be white." She says quietly as she looks down at her hands again. "I-I know that somewhere it's said to be traditional for only virgin brides to wear white at their weddings, but I really want my dress to be white."
"Casey, are you sure about this?" Serena asks cautiously as she tilts her head.
"Jennifer will probably want to wear a black dress if she even chooses to wear a dress at all. She doesn't really like dresses all that much you know but she looks incredible when I can actually get her to wear one. I want blue flowers too. I don't know why but I feel like blue would just go. Blue is my favorite color you know? Those would be lovely colored flowers don't you think?"
"Casey, are you alright?"
"I want a late afternoon early evening wedding. That would be nice too. I always feel that would be the perfect time for a ceremony." The redhead continues on quietly, talking to keep her self from crying. The last thing she needs is to burst into tears and then have to explain to Serena why she is sobbing.
Meanwhile…
"You know, you could be such a stud if you really, really tried to be." Olivia says jokingly, glancing in her best friend's direction.
Alex rolls her eyes in annoyance and swirls around the contents in her beer bottle. "Whatever." She murmurs with yet another eye roll as she sinks down in her seat.
"No really Lex, she's right." JJ points out as she nods in a direction somewhere across the bar. "That girl over there has been staring at you since we've got here."
Sighing internally, Alex leans back in her chair and looks in the general vicinity in which she was being directed. She finds her self meeting the gaze of a beautiful brunette woman who is most definitely giving her 'the eye'. "Okay so maybe she has been staring, but that doesn't mean I'm relatively interested."
Olivia clicks her tongue and shakes her head. "Come on Lexie, go make a move. She really is easy on the eyes. At least go buy her a drink and chat her up for a little while."
Alex shakes her head and takes another swig of her beer. "No really, I'm not interested. She's not really what I'm into anyway. There's already someone who's kinda caught my attention anyway."
"Wow, finally. Who is she? Somebody you work with?" JJ asks curiously, sitting up in her seat in further interest. "Details Ali, details!"
"She's…she's not really anyone I work with, but I met her through a mutual relationship. She's really great though you know? She's funny, understanding, compassionate, and all out amazing."
"This mystery woman have a name?" Olivia questions with a sly wagging of her eyebrows.
Alex shakes her head once more at the question. "I'm afraid that she doesn't have a name at the moment, but she might one day." she concludes as she finishes her beer and places the empty bottle on the table in front of her sister. "Go get us some refills huh baby sister?"
JJ rolls her eyes but stands up from the table nonetheless, muttering something about how even though she's younger does not mean that she has to wait on everyone hand and foot.
Olivia watches JJ walk away before she leans into the table, her voice down to a low whisper. "This mystery woman wouldn't happen to be a certain crimson haired beauty would she?"
Alex blushes and hangs her head shamefully as she looks at her hands in her lap. "Yeah, I…maybe." She murmurs before she looks back up. "I kissed her Liv. I kissed her and you know, I don't regret any of it. I kissed her and she kissed me back like she wanted to kiss me."
"Alex, you…you can't do that." Olivia sighs as she runs a hand through her hair. "She's your sister's girl Al. Hell, she's going to be your sister's wife! Damn Alex…"
"Look, I know it's messed up, alright? It's not like I feel this way on purpose but JJ's not treating her right Liv! What am I supposed to feel like?"
"I dunno, I guess I can't say 'cause I've never been in this situation before, but it's just…hell, I don't know what to tell you."
"I don't need you to tell me anything. I'll handle it on my own." Alex replies firmly as she looks over towards the bar. "I've been doing that long enough anyway."
Olivia holds up her hands in surrender and shrugs her shoulders one last time. "Alright, I'll leave you alone about it. Just be careful alright? Don't want you getting hurt anymore. You showed me your abs and for such a little thing, Jen seems to pack quite the punch.
Later That Night
"Jayje, do you ever think about having kids?" Casey asks randomly into the darkness of the chilly bedroom as she snuggles further under the duvet and into her lover.
JJ is silent for a moment before she hums in response. "You mean like…kid kids? Like…babies? I don't get the question. Are you referring to us having children together as a family or are you specifically asking if I have ever thought about the physicality of giving birth?"
Casey rolls her eyes and snorts quietly. "You are such a profiler." She murmurs with a small shake of her head. "I mean us having kids together as a family."
"I might've a few times. It does get pretty interesting wondering what little Casey's running around would be like. I think they'd be adorable. We could have our own little band of prosecutors."
"Heh, that does seem nice. But what if some of them turn out to be like you?"
JJ is silent for another moment before she sighs into the darkness. "I wouldn't want them to be like me." she mutters quietly.
Casey props her self up on her elbow and stares down at her fiancée's silhouette. "Why not?"
"Why would anyone want that? Always gone, always stressed out, never have time for anything, never have time to have time for anything; it's all endless. I wouldn't want my kids to be like that."
"But you still have a good personality and a good heart. Just because you have flaws doesn't mean you're a terrible person. We both have our share of flaws but we learn to work through that. It's part of being in a relationship."
JJ sighs again and shuffles further under the blanket. "Yeah, well. I guess you're right. What made you ask about children?"
Casey shrugs her shoulders and sighs contently. "Oh, I don't know really. I guess it's just…we're getting married now and it may not seem like it but we've come a long way in our relationship. I guess I've just wondered if you've thought about that kind of future with me."
"Heh, remember when I was that pain in the ass agent who kept prodding your case?"
"Yes, and right after I told you, you were the most repulsive human being to ever walk this earth, I kissed you."
"Guess you didn't find me all that repulsive then huh?"
"No…I guess I didn't…"
Thoughts? Leave them?