On tonight's chapter of Lightning Strikes, we find our heroes and anti-heroes, having retreated an attack from the Ghost Empire, make their plans to take them down? But Black Adam isn't without his tricks; what has he planned in advance?

Danny Phantom was struggling to wake up. An understandable problem, given the fact that he was just got knocked the fuck out by a dictator with the powers of six Egyptian gods. His heavy eyelids opened up, and he saw Sam. Sam! It was all just a dream. The whole team-up was nothing but a figment of his imagination.

"Danny?"

It's all right.

"Sam?"

It's alright.

"Are you OK?"

It's alright.

"I'm alive."

"Ha ha ha! I'm alive he said!"

"What the…"

It's not alright!

The Rock of Eternity

Danny shot up screaming. He looked around to gather his surroundings. He saw Raven, Deathstroke, Valerie Gray, Youngblood, and…Sam. So the team-up and the battle were real. But why was Sam here?

Some British accent sounded like he was having the time of his life. "She asks him if he's OK, and the ghost says, "I'm alive! I'm done. It's over. It's frigging over." The voice belonged to some Sting look-alike in a trenchcoat.

He mustered up all of his energy. "OK, OK. I just have one thing to ask. WHAT IS GOING ON?!"

"You're at the Rock of Eternity."

They all turned to see Shazam flying into the room. He had Pandora, Clockwork, and The Phantom Stranger at his side, pronouncing authority. Shazam took off his hood.

"We're all hear for the same reason."

"Because I was forced to do more heroic activities than I'm comfortable doing?"

"I'm going to pretend I didn't hear that. What I mean is, we are all here, by whatever circumstances, to combat the tyranny of Black Adam, Ares, and Trigon, and their Ghost Empire."

Shazam sat down on a throne made of marble. The room turned dim, and a map of the Ghost Zone appeared. Great, it took this guy two seconds to do what he, Sam, and Tucker were still trying to do.

"I've been able to track them down to the home of the Observants in the quadrant that you see here. With their power, they can fend off an attack of any and every sort.

"Let me illustrate how powerful these beings are." The map changed to pictures of old, dust-battered hieroglyphics depicting a story. "5000 years ago, Teth-Adam was handpicked by the former guardian of the Rock of Eternity to have the same power that I have. He used this power to boost himself to the position to lead the nation of Kahndaq. He ruled then, just like he does now: with an iron fist. After, well, after a while the guardian was afraid that Adam was abusing his power, so he exiled him to the farthest star in the sky. Yeah, as you can tell, he came back, like the bad guys usually do and took power again."

"He has your power, but not the responsibility. Alright, we read this before in Chapter 2," interrupted the Brit. "Now get to the bleeding point."

"Shut up John. OK." The image changed to Black Adam fighting Superman. "Black Adam's power is equal to that of Superman's. In fact, he might be able to kill Superman without Kryptonite. Considering how powerful Superman is, that's pretty scary."

The image changed again to Ares fighting Wonder Woman. "Ares is pretty self-explanatory. He is the Greek god of war. And he's not just using the name to scare people: he is the real McCoy. His rivalry with Wonder Woman and the Amazons of Themiscarya is well-known. It's also worth noting that this is the first time that he's been involved with power grabs of underworld territories besides the realm of his brother Hades. Anyway."

The image changed one last time to Trigon. "Now Trigon. Well, thing is…"

Raven stepped forward. "Let me."

"Are you sure? You don't have to."

"I do." She turned to everyone else. "I don't know everything there is to know about Trigon, but I know him. I know what he feels like inside me. I know what it's like to have to control myself so I don't become like him. As his daughter, I am forever defined by him and his actions. And I will forever fight against him. Trigon is evil beyond compare. It's not easy to beat him, but I've done it for my whole life. And if we all work together, we can not only take him down, but all three of them."

She walked away and took a seat and began meditating. Wow, that was…something.

Shazam sat there, trying to think of what he needed to cover next. "That about covers it." The imagery disappeared, and the light returned.

It was about this time that Danny realized the seriousness of the situation: he got knocked the fuck out by a dictator with the powers of six Egyptian gods. He was in way over his head. How was he going to be on the same team and keep his self-respect?

While Danny was feeling outclassed, Shazam stepped off the throne. It still didn't feel right to him; this was the wizard's throne, the one he died sitting on. He avoided sitting on it, and only used it when he needed to use powers that the Rock hadn't given him. Besides, with all the power flowing through him, he didn't want to sit down. How could he? The best apart about having these powers was having these powers!

Pandora approached him. "Are you sure that this will be enough?"

"Of course it will," he tried to reassure her. "We're gonna do just fine."

"Are you sure?"

He turned around and saw her. The pretty goth girl from the museum.

"Yes I'm su-you don't have to worry about it, we have everything under control," he said, trying to sound cool, "well, I do. As keeper of the Rock, I'm pretty much in charge."

"Really? Well, why were those three here long before you arrived?"

"Well, I had other things to take care of. I mean, I'm a Fawcett boy, and I have to protect the city and its people too."

"Oh OK."

"Yep, Fawcett's ,my home, I love it and protect it. Too bad Sivana, and Ibac keep on trashing it."

"Can I make a suggestion? Can you do more to protect animals? On the bus ride to Fawcett City, I saw a dirt road when we were in traffic. I looked down and there was an illegal factory farm. The thought of what bloody torture goes on there makes me nauseous. I don't know why anyone would want to murder innocent animals just to satisfy their own base hunger."

"Really? Me too! I hate that, it's so…" he tried to find the right words to pepper on his exaggeration. He looked to Raven, who was watching helplessly, facepalming so hard.

"Unspeakable."

"Yeah, unspeakable. I just don't understa-aan-aan-achoo!"

"Bless you."

"Oh, thanks Sam. But yeah…"

"Wait, how do you know my name?"

This time Shazam was speechless. He messed up in a big way. He broke a rule stating that if you see someone you know as a civilian on duty, you're supposed to treat them like a complete stranger.

"Uh…I have a friend in Fawcett City named…William. He said he knows you somehow knew you. He didn't say how, but he said that he did."

"I don't think I know anyone from Fawcett City." She tried to remember. "Oh wait, do you mean that one kid, what's his face, Billy Batson?"

"Oh well, maybe he meant someone else. Anyway…How the heck did you know that?"

Raven was slamming her head against the wall. Danny saw this and what was going on between Sam and Shazam, and put two-and-two together.

Danny walked over to her. "Are you OK with this? I mean, I don't know what's going on between you two…"

"That's because there's nothing going on between us. It's like I told you, we're just friends."

"Look, I'm not saying I'm good with stuff like this, but I can tell that you two have chemistry…"

"There's nothing!" she screamed. As she spoke, there was a burst of telekinesis around her. "Me and Shazam aren't and never will be romantically involved." Everyone turned to see Danny and Raven. She calmed down. "We can never be boyfriend-girlfriend. He's too much like a little brother to me."

John Constantine started laughing again. "Well, that was awkward. And it's about to get suspicious."

"Wait, little brother?"

"What did I tell you?"

Danny motioned to Shazam. "How old is this guy?"

"I dunno. I was guessing at least like 18. At most 24."

"Tucker? How did you get here?"

Now it was Danny's turn to break the rules. Deathstroke turned to him. "You know them? I was wondering what they were doing here."

"I brought them here," proclaimed John Constantine. "See what happened was a ghost came to me with these two in tow, blackmailing me to either send him here, and he kills these two. I switched it on him, taking these two instead."

"Thank you. They're friends of mine. They…lead my fanbase."

"Oh, so it's your little nerd squad." He eyed the Fenton Thermos. "I never really got how those things worked. How does a coffee can catch a ghost?"

He pulled it out to show him. "It's really cool, see what happens is…" Before he could explain, he eyed a blinking light on the side. His ghost sense went off. This can't be good.

The thermos exploded. They were both pushed back by the explosion. John got up angrily.

"Bastard!"

"It wasn't me! It was…" They all turned to see Skulker standing in front of them. He went into a fighting stance.

"…That guy."

Well, that was something else. In case you didn't know, John Constantine's brief fourth wall break is a reference to the original Hellblazer comics when he'd do stuff like that. He wasn't the DC/Veritgo version of Deadpool (who hadn't been created when Constantine first appeared) but it was cool. And so is this. I'll write two more chapters, so come back next week to see what happens next.