Part Ten

It was really dark outside, Aaron was lucky the computer emitted its own glow otherwise he wouldn't have been able to write his letter.

'Dear Jackson. Or should it be dear Adam?'

Aaron sighed guiltily, as he turned to look at his best friend still snoring contently, hugging a pillow Aaron hoped would buy him some time until he actually noticed his side of the bed was empty. It had been a long day one Aaron knew he didn't want to remember too readily. He was beginning to wonder if he had made a mistake.

"What are you doing? Come back to bed."

Adam snaked his hands round him and kissed the nape of his neck where he knew he was ticklish.

"Don't."

"Come on. It's cold in there by myself."

"I didn't think you'd mind. You've spent the last two hours attempting to kick me out anyway."

"Not because I don't want you there. I'm just not used to being so close to someone."

"I know. Just give me a minuet and I'll close this down."

"Are you having second thoughts?"

"About what?"

Aaron attempted to hitch a smile onto his face, forgetting Adam couldn't even see him.

"Us? I mean you and Jackson had something didn't you?"

"I wonder sometimes."

"You did. Maybe what we ha…what happened today was a mistake."

"Do you honestly believe that?"

Adam was suddenly thankful for the darkness, as Aaron could not see the hurt radiating from his eyes.

"No. But I am giving you a chance to walk away. To try and make a go of things with him. We're friends aren't we? We'd both survive if you walked away now."

"I don't think I would. Reaching out for Adam's hand Aaron pulled him onto his lap and held him tightly. I don't think I should be with someone if I am in love with someone else. Jackson once said that to me and it's only fair I'm honest with him and myself."

"Only if you're sure."

"You're right I was having doubts. Not about us, about me and Jackson."

"Why? What were you thinking?"

"We were sorta pushed together. By you really. I liked him and everything, but I met him at a time I wasn't sure of myself or the whole gay thing. And before you say anything I know I'm still not there with that yet. He dug Adam in the ribs playfully. I mean the idea of Mickey and that Ben still gives me the creeps, but I'm not like that and neither was Jackson, but I still couldn't bring myself to hold him or acknowledge him as my boyfriend in public."

"You had a lot to work through at once."

"But I've never been bothered by it if it's you. I mean that night in the car I wanted to hold you."

"That was different there was no one around."

"It's not just about the holding hands and kissing thing. I listen to you because you calm me down. I care about you. I wouldn't want anyone to hurt you."

"I feel the same way about you."

"And you never thought that was strange?"

"No. Not really it's just before I never looked at you and thought 'God he's attractive', but recently you're all I've been thinking about. There I've said it."

"I always used to think that about you."

"And you never thought that was strange?"

"Sure. But I never planned to act on it. I'm very good at repressing things."

"True. What were you planning to do marry our Holly and have a family of your own someday?"

"No. But at least that's normal. I couldn't have gone through with that anyway, not after what nearly happened with you."

"I wouldn't have outed you. You know that don't you?"

"I know, but it was all great fun anyway and then along came Jackson. It sounds like that film. What's it called?"

"Thelma and Louise."

Adam joked.

"No idiot. That 'Along Came Polly'."

"I've never actually seen that."

"Nnno. Me either."

Aaron attempted to deny all knowledge of that particular romantic comedy.

"You so have. How many times? Go on tell me."

Adam tickled his sides mercilessly until he caved.

"Once or twice. It's definitely no more than three times. It's Paddy's favourite."

"Right. Paddy's. Of course it is."

"It is. Honestly. Any chance we can get in bed? Only we have to be up and out before lunch and I will have to finish this."

"Do you want a hand?"

"No. I think this has to be personal. It's my way of saying goodbye."

"You could just talk to him, you know? I wouldn't mind."

"I know, but he's asked me to give him space so that's what I am going to do."

"I'll go and speak to Scarlet tomorrow."

"You don't have to."

"I want to. She can't hear this from anyone else but me. I owe her that at least."

"So you're sure about this then? You definitely want to go out with me?"

"Actually since you put it like that…can I change my mind?"

"Nope. Sorry. You're stuck with me now."

Aaron warned with a wry smile.

"What's new there then?"

Adam teased.

Smiling effortlessly for the first time in a long time, Aaron tenderly kissed Adam, parting his soft full lip, so their tongues entwined, merging as one.

"Time for bed?"

"Time for bed."

Adam agreed, as Aaron pushed him off his lap and clasping his hand guided him back to his comfy, spacious double bed.