It was a grey day, the clouds hung deep and rain seemed only a few minutes away. To Matt, the weather expressed his mood perfectly. He sat alone in the SUV not able to start it yet. His hands on the steering wheel, grabbing it so tightly that his knuckles turned white. He let his head fall onto his arms.
Emily was gone, gone through the anomaly back to her time, away from him. He was left alone, a state he should be very familiar with, but he had grown used to having Emily around. Being alone suddenly felt wrong.
She had told him she would stay if he'd asked her too, but he hadn't. He wondered what would have happened if he had asked. Now he would never be able to answer this question.
Images of their last day off together appeared in his mind.
Matt had taken Emily to Brighton earlier in the week. He'd wanted to do something special with her; he'd wanted her to see more than just London and to give them both some time outside the ARC.
They had taken the train to the seaside town, sharing a railway compartment for six with a woman and her son. Matt smiled at the thought of how mesmerized Emily had been by the four-year-old boy and his light blond hair. He had had a bubbly personality and had started chattering away with Emily before the train had even left Victoria Station.
Emily learned quickly that Aaron's ultimate must-see in Brighton was the Sea-Life Centre because of his recent favourite movie character: Sebastian from The Little Mermaid.
While Emily was caught up in a deep conversation with Aaron, Matt found himself studying the Victorian beauty opposite from him. Her brown curly hair was falling loose over her shoulders and her chocolate-brown eyes kept dancing in delight as she listened to Aaron's stories. She'd been wearing a dark denim skirt and a red top covered with a black cardigan. Her features had been totally relaxed, her laughter filling the compartment, as Aaron started to sing his favourite tune from The Little Mermaid.
For a moment Matt snapped out of his daze and the words of the song sank in.
There you see her
Sitting there across the way
She don't got a lot to say
But there's something about her
And you don't know why
But you're dying to try
You wanna kiss the girl
And while rain drops started to fall, Matt kept recalling the events of that day, hearing Aaron's voice singing in the back of his mind.
They strolled through the Lanes first. Emily had walked from shop to shop, amazed by all the little trifles that could be bought. They stopped at a little café for a cup of tea and some scones.
Eventually they had found their way down to the seaside.
While Emily took in the scenery in front of her, the burnt down West Pier, the modern Brighton Pier with its amusements, rides and restaurants and most importantly the ocean, Matt found himself studying her once more.
Now, away from everyone at work, he couldn't keep his eyes off her, knowing there wouldn't be a Connor to tease him about it later.
The day was windy and rather cloudy; Matt would have had preferred a warm and sunny day but, to his surprise, the woman from the past was riveted by all the little things that the weather caused: the waves breaking at the shore, the dark clouds in the air, and the feel of wind in her hair.
While Emily was enjoying the view, Matt was caught up in her beauty wondering what it would be like to kiss her and if her lips were as soft as they looked. But he knew that once he gave in to this feeling, she would become a distraction to him: the distraction his dad has always warned him about.
Yes, you want her
Look at her, you know you do
It's possible she wants you, too
There is one way to ask her
It don't take a word
Not a single word
Go on and kiss the girl
Their day in Brighton passed quickly and, while Emily enjoyed it, Matt found himself having more and more trouble putting his feelings for her aside.
They called it a day after a nice dinner at a small Italian restaurant back in London. Matt had walked her back to her room at the ARC.
And just outside that uncomfortable and spartan room came the so-called perfect moment. They had stood only inches apart, neither of them able to break eye contact. Matt knew that if he wanted to kiss her it was now or never, but before the silence could turn into an awkward one, Emily broke it,
"Thanks for a lovely day. Have a good night, Matt." She'd smiled at him one last time before shutting the door.
Sing with me now
Sha-la-la-la-la-la
My, oh, my
Look at the boy too shy
He ain't gonna kiss the girl
Sha-la-la-la-la-la
Ain't that sad
Ain't it shame, too bad
You gonna miss the girl
Matt took a deep breath, straightened up, and pushed his memories away. He started the engine to drive back to the ARC, the image of Emily going through the anomaly burnt into his heart. He had missed his opportunity to kiss her.