Richard was hard at work negotiating the contract with Freewave Records while Aelita was at home with Hannah and Ulrich. Since she was still in between contracts, she was working single night sets until she entered the studio with Alexia. The only thing she had left to do was to tell Ulrich. Aelita had no idea how to approach the subject.
They sat on her couch, Hannah sitting on the floor in front of them with crayons and several coloring books. Aelita leaned herself on Ulrich who draped an arm over her as they watch a movie. Ulrich looked at the time and saw she needed to leave soon for her set and nudged her. It was only then he noticed she dozed off somewhere in the middle.
"Hey, it's seven," Ulrich said, Aelita opening her eyes and seeing her clock. Groaning she sat up and stretched.
"Time for work, are you sure you don't want me to call the sitter?" Aelita asked and Ulrich shook his head.
"I can handle her," Ulrich said, Aelita thinking to herself if he was staying around, he'd have to be alone with her sooner or later. Aelita put on her shoes and coat, grabbed her laptop walked to Hannah and kissed her head.
"How did that contract thing go? You at the Ozone, or stratosphere lounge or whatever these clubs are called?" Ulrich asked and Aelita laughed and figured now was as good a time as ever. Ulrich already did half the leg work.
"Neither, I actually took the Alexia Jonston deal," Aelita answered and looked at Ulrich for his reaction. There didn't seem to be one.
"Oh, when does that start?" Ulrich asked and Aelita sighed.
"Ulrich, that's at least four months in a studio, then ten months on tour. That's the next year, most of it with me not here," Aelita said and looked at her watch, "We'll talk when I get back, I need to go."
"Okay," Ulrich said and opened the door for and kissed her before she left. Twenty seconds later she burst back in.
"She already had dinner, snacks are in the shelf, bath at eight, bed no later than nine…"
"Chapter seven of the book on the nightstand, door cracked, dishes need to be finished, kitchen needs to be swept, counters wiped and go, I got it," Ulrich said and Aelita smiled.
"Sorry, but it's the first time it hasn't been me or Richard watching her. It's a first for me too," Aelita said and Ulrich kissed her.
"We'll be fine, we'll talk later," Ulrich said and Aelita nodded , kissed him one last time and actually left.
Aelita arrived at home just passed eleven. Quietly closing the door she locked it as she kicked off her shoes and put her coat on the chair. The dishes were done, the counters wiped, the floor swept, Hannah's door was ajar. All seemed right. Walking over to Hannah's room she slowly opened the door and saw her soundly sleeping. Tip toeing in, Aelita kissed her head and tip toed back to her room and saw Ulrich the same.
Ulrich was laying on his back on top of the covers. It looked like he didn't plan on falling asleep, but accidentally did. Aelita sat next to him, and almost considered not waking him up. After a moment of stroking his hair, she nudged him and he jumped a little as his eyes opened.
"How was the show?" Ulrich asked.
"Fine, how was Hannah?" Aelita asked.
"Great," Ulrich replied.
"So that talk. I feel terrible about it," Aelita said and Ulrich was confused.
"Why?"
"Five years ago," Aelita said and looked away, "I left you, for music. Now we're back, and I'm leaving you, for music."
"It's not the same thing," Ulrich ensured as he got to a seated position, "I'm not waking up with a note on my bed. You are telling me directly."
"Because five years with a hole in my heart is not something I want to feel anymore. I loved music, but at the end of the day when I came home, I arrived to an empty apartment. The reason I never called again, was because I truly believed you wouldn't take me back even if I did. I was wrong, very wrong, but it's because I'm insecure."
"What? You're not insecure."
"I am, Ulrich. You were the first person to tell me I had a say in something. The moment I got out of Lyoko I had to play by these rules, to wrap my life in secrecy, surrounded by people who said it was for my own good. You were the first person, the only person who told me to tell them, fuck you."
Ulrich laughed, making Aelita do the same. Together they laughed and kissed once before Aelita smiled.
"You made me, addicted to having my way. It felt so good to say no. Doing something, without having to consult someone on it, was liberating. You made me feel free. It made me, afraid any answer being no, particularly you saying it. Just leaving was easier than having that conversation."
"Now we're having it," Ulrich said and Aelita took a deep breath and nodded, "But don't think about me, when making this decision. Think about Hannah."
"Ulrich, I told you when we got back together, you're going to be in second place. Hannah is number one, and will always be number one. In actuality, I want that to bother you. I know you're trying to be supportive, but for the love of god get mad at something," Aelita said and stood up off the bed and leaned against the door.
"I left you, and when you found me, you were mad. It was everything I was scared of, but I'm glad I saw it. It was the most honest I've ever seen you. But then, I bat eyelashes and all is forgiven?" Aelita asked and Ulrich exhaled and stood up.
"I don't forget what happened. I still don't even fully understand it, but I'm not saying yes to appease you. Does the fact you're planning for a tour the moment we get back together rub me the wrong way, sure. But I also know you're not making that decision lightly. You put me in second place a long time ago, it's not new to me. It was music, then me. Now, it's Hannah, then me.
"Richard told me about Palmer. I don't think he told me everything."
"He doesn't even know everything about that," Aelita said and closed the door, "I'm still recovering from that. I probably never will be recovered. Palmer, is a sociopath. She's batshit insane. I went in, knowing that. I figured she was a little cooky, but not crazy. She's abusive, manipulative, destructive, and an OCD control freak on top of it. The money was right, I loved the music I was mixing, so I did it.
"Some of the things I never told Richard because we had a huge bonus for the tour, hundreds of thousands. The money became my light at the end of the tunnel. Palmer threw microphones at me, shouted at me, cursed me out, but that never bothered me. What bothered me, was her trying to whore me out to her friends. On tour, nearly daily of her throwing strangers at me, telling them how ready and willing I was. She thought it was funny.
"Some of those guys, other musicians were as entitled as she was. They didn't take no very kindly. Four different times I had a roadie throw these guys away. A few managed to grope me, but those were the ones who seemed nice at first. Then the yelling, and shouting, and microphone throwing began to bother me. I began to lose sleep, fearing she was sending another guy to my hotel where security couldn't help.
"Seven months of that, I nearly killed myself . I stood on the railing of a balcony, twenty, thirty stories. I wasn't on the balcony, I was on the rail looking straight down. Richard pulled me back in, and he ended the contract.
"For a moment I cried in his chest and thought it was yours. When I realized it wasn't, I cried harder. I left you, for that. When crying in his chest, it felt like yours, and I felt safe. Safest I had ever been since the tour started. That something was enough, and then we slept together, which was awkward.
"Palmer, destroyed me. There was one thing I loved, and she took it away from me. She left me with nothing. That's why when I took the pregnancy test, I was happy. I remember it, vividly."
Aelita sat down next to Ulrich who had no idea how to respond to any of this. Aelita touched her stomach and smiled.
"I expected to be depressed about being pregnant. The poor me pity party was in full swing. The worst year of my life, sleeping with Richard and it being awkward, hell let's throw pregnant on top of that. Shit piling on top of shit. I sat in my bathroom on the floor, leaning against the tub, anxiously tapping the test in my hand. I remember saying, 'I've lost my parents, my friends, my love, music, and now this.' Then it was positive. That plus sign, and my heart didn't sink. It actually raised my spirits."
Aelita felt a few tears coming down her cheeks and wiped then away.
"For a moment, I was pissed at myself for not being pissed. The first thing that came to my mind when I saw it was positive. The first…" Aeltia said, getting choked up, giggling a little that it was choking her up, "The first thing I thought was I'm gonna love the shit of you."
Ulrich chuckled and she smiled at him, "Hannah saved my life. Even after the first scare, I don't think I completely took suicide off the table. I'm not sorry you're in second place, but if it makes you feel better, music is in third. At the end of the day, I want to come home to you and Hannah."
"I don't want you to do a tour," Ulrich said and she smiled, "I don't, I want you all to myself for a bit longer. I want to get to know Hannah, I even want to get to know Richard. The fact you're doing a tour, isn't meaningless. How did that conversation with Jonston go?"
Aelita went to get her laptop and returned a moment later. Sitting on the bed with the laptop on her lap, and opened the file with the Jonston collaboration and played the first song they made. Ulrich listened and slowly smiled. He saw Aelita listening to it, and saw her as she was five years ago. This was not the same woman who he watched record music with her daughter on her lap, a woman who seemed to treat music like a job instead of a passion.
Ulrich watched her and saw she was in love again. Something had returned, and it made him incredibly happy to see it.
"This is the Aelita I remember," Ulrich said and kissed her, "Which is why you do the tour. I think, this is the only way to fix what Palmer broke."
"Is a tour the answer?"
"Yes," Ulrich said and she looked down and away, "Look at me."
Slowly Aelita looked up at him, and Ulrich planted a deep kiss on his lips and pulled back to smile at her.
"You need this, and you need not feel bad about it. Consider it therapy, make yourself better for Hannah," Urich said and Aelita smiled.
"Using the daughter is cheap," Aelita said and kissed him again.