Kids say the darnest things…

A/N: I messed with the ages for the sake of the punchline. Based on a true-ish encounter I had a year or so ago.

…..

"You need to talk to him."

Clark, now Superman swallowed a sigh to Flash's comment. It was a never ending…. Well it wasn't an argument really, but it was an ongoing conversation (that he wished would end). It had been 5 months since the sidekicks had gone off on their crusade and unintentionally rescued… his clone. Clark still hadn't really accepted that, let alone sit down and talk to…him.

It was difficult. Everyone wanted him to act welcoming to a clone of himself. A clone that was created and brainwashed by CADMUS to replace him and everyone wanted him to act as if everything was normal.

Flash shifted next to him. "He's not a bad kid, really. And Wally says he's been getting along well with M'gann and even Robin."

That was an interesting tidbit. Batman was fiercely protective of his kid, and nearly had an aneurism when he, Aqua man, and Flash had returned to find their protégés missing. Not that Clark could blame him. Robin was the youngest by several years and had a habit of getting distracted by almost anything.

"I will talk to him, I just"- The automatic door to west wing saved Clark from an excuse. Wally, dressed in costume and Artemis walked through, clearly bickering. Superman and Flash turned to give them a warm smile. "Hey guys, what are you up to?"

Both apprentices immediately clicked their jaws shut. Wally leveled a glare at him and Artemis scowled, crinkling her nose like he was a bad smell.

"Oh, so you'll talk to us?" She snapped.

Superman leaned back eyes wide. He guessed the other protégés would be a little mad at how things were between him and Superboy, but not this caustic.

The two still glaring, walked swiftly out the room.

"Geez," Clark murmured.

"See? Now they're mad at you." Flash added, "Talk. To. Him. You two will hit it off, I'm sure. You do have a lot in common."

Clark was about to scowl at that last part when a cold voice spoke, "Flash is correct."

Both heroes whipped around to see Batman at a third monitor to their lefts.

"When did you get here?" Flashed gasped; a bit shocked but expecting something like this. (When do you ever hear Batman?)

Batman ignored the question in favor of pinning Superman with a glare, "it appears that the children are all attached to each other at this point." Batman leaned forward, looking into Clark's very soul. "Including Robin, who is currently distressed at Connor's mood after you ignored him on the bridge." Batman's teeth clenched as he went on, "So you will talk to with Connor, before anything gets out of hand."

Clark could feel his insides freezing up from Batman's icy glare when Robin entered the room. "Hi Superman, Hi Flash," he chirped as he immediately claimed his place at Batman's side.

"hi buddy," Clark cooed, the catching Batman's eye, clearly stating he wasn't done lecturing him, asked, "uhh, could you grab me a drink real quick while I finish up with Batman?"

"sure!" Robin ran from the room, glad to be of use.

"Look," Superman started, cutting off whatever Batman was going to say. "I know you want me to talk to him and I get that it bothers the kids," he added testily, " but you need to understand how weird this is for me-" He was cut off as a light green glass cup was pushed in front of his face.

"here you go!" Robin said with sweet smile on his face.

"Thanks, Robin." Superman took a large gulp of the water. Immediately the room tilted and blurred. Coughing, the room began to dim, pixelating as he fell from his chair, dropping the glass and sputtering.

"what happened?" Batman barked from his left, pulling Clark back into the chair.

Clark pushed his hair from his sweaty face. The room was coming back into focus, but he felt drained. Batman was in front of him and Flash standing nervously to the side, hands on Robin's shoulders. Batman was studying him then the ground. His eyes widened and he turned, "Dick! What did you do?"

He looked down at the glass, he felt his heart contract. The green water on the ground and clear glass shards pained a clear picture.

"Dick?" He asked quietly, looking at the 8 year old. The little boy stood watching the exchange with a blank mask. "Yes?"

"Wha-what was that?"

"Kryptonite dust in your water."

The heroes all looked at the boy thunderstuck. Robin shifted his weight and refused to meet their eyes.

"Why Dick? That could have killed me!" Superman demanded, wondering how the kid could have done something like this. Dick loved him, was a sweet kid, and knew better than to play with something like this.

That got Robin to look up, he stared at Superman for a second before pouting, "It wouldn't kill you," he desperately started to explain, "I measured it out for your body mass you put in the league profiles and the displacement by the water ions. I even used less than I was going to originally because I saw that Batman was already lecturing you. (I should've done it for your real weight.) he muttered.

Superman just couldn't get over Robin of all kids doing this. By the looks on Flash's face and – well Batman didn't look surprised, but he didn't look stoic – he guessed they couldn't either.

"m'sorry," Robin said at last, giving Clark an apologetic look, " I just wanted to make you suffer for making Connor suffer." He lunged forward and hugged Superman.

Wrapping an arm around Robin Clark sighed, "I'll talk to him, OK? You win. Just, give it some time, OK? Nothing's gonna be fixed right away."

Clark knew that he'd eventually have to talk to the clo- to Connor, but he couldn't have imagined that it would be the tiny bird in his arms poisoning him that would make him do it.

Maybe the kid wouldn't be bad, after all, Robin seemed to approve of him.

"But you're grounded, Robin." Batman growled, "Stealing Kryptonite powder from the vault is serious. That is only to be used in an emergency."

Robin turned from his position in Superman's lap, cocking his head at Batman's statement. "I didn't steal the powder from there. I asked Lex Luthor for some to make Superman suffer, and he gave it to me."

….

….

…

WHAT?!

A/N: I have been volunteering at my church youth group of a few years now and true story, I had one of the sweetest, quietest kids come up to me and tell me something similar to this. He wanted to make me unhappy so that he could make me happy. I don't know.

I also had a group of twins who, for some reason, didn't realize they had the same birthday.

Twin 1: my birthday is next week!

Twin 2: no way so is mine! Wow it's the same day!

Me: guys… you have the same birthday… because you're twins….

(They didn't get it.)