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Chapter 10:
Chaos
My small apartment was quiet as I stepped inside and closed the door. I didn't bother turning on any lights. I felt my way trough the dark until I found my bed. I collapsed, exhausted, defeated, hated, and broken. What had I done? Who had I fallen for?
How could Rosalie, my sister for lack of a better word, betray me in such a way? Was she jealous, or really trying to look out for me? I squeezed my eyes shut. I didn't want to think about her ever again. Tears slowly made their way into my eyes and small sobs racked my chest. I was alone and I missed Edward. Would he forgive me for leaving? All of my unanswered questions suffocated me until I fell asleep. I dreamt of falling stars.
Days had passed since Christmas. The New Year would soon overtake the old one and it couldn't come soon enough. Rosalie's relentless calling followed by my mother's was just about as much as I could handle. I avoided them like they were indeed the Black Death.
It was early morning and I was getting ready for my return to work. I let my long hair air dry, and wore black slacks with a blue blouse. I didn't care much anymore. Applying my mascara in the bathroom, my phone pinged at me. I droned, expecting another text from Rosalie. Her last few were begging for my forgiveness. I sighed and picked up my iPhone. A new email showed. My insides burned.
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Dear Bella,
I waited this long to contact you on purpose, thinking you needed space since you left without a good-bye. I love your Christmas present. It is hanging up in my room, thank you. You remembered my dream. I want to see you again, but understand if you choose otherwise.
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-Edward
Sent Dec 31, 2012 at 7:42am
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I was suddenly filled with happiness. He wanted to see me and I knew that I wanted to see him, too. With all of my fears pushed aside, I opened a reply email.
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Dear Edward,
I am glad you liked the present. I'm sorry I left so abruptly... I chose the easy way out. But I want to see you. What are you doing for New Years?
-Bella
Sent Dec 31, 2012 at 7:44am
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Bella,
I am sort of glad you left like that, because it hurt me. I needed to know that it would, but it also gave me time to think, too. I am available tonight. Can I take you out? What about the new club downtown, Chaos?
-Edward
Sent Dec 31, 2012 at 7:46am
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Edward,
Pick me up at 7?
Sent Dec 31 2012 at 7:47am
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.
See you then.
-Edward
Sent Dec 31, 2013 at 7:49am
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I smiled so big that it hurt my face. He wasn't mad, and all of my own anger slipped away, too. I quickly sent one more email with directions to my house, and left for work feeling more than ready for the coming day.
It was a few minutes until seven and I was pacing my apartment in hysterics awaiting Edward's arrival. To say that I was nervous was an understatement. What if he hated the sex? What if we had sex again? Did I want that? Yeah, I did, but not with any whips or ball gags. I shivered. I'm not a virgin anymore. I felt as different as I did the same.
At least my work day had been fulfilling. Connie came in with an assortment of her Painted Feathers that I put on display for her. She was such a kind woman, and I had a great feeling about her art. I continued my pacing in my red stiletto heels that went along with my black skirt. The skirt was short and covered in gold glitter. My silk white blouse was tucked in and buttoned up accordingly. I left my long hair down and managed to curl it successfully without having Rosalie's help. My phone rang in my hand and I jumped. Excitement over Edward pulsed through me, and I answered immediately.
"Are you here?" I asked giddily.
"Bella?" Rose addressed. My stomach fell away from me.
"Rosalie," I stuttered.
"Hey, so look, about what happened," She began slowly.
"Rose, I don't care right now. You lied to me for five years! And you of all people have no right to judge me," I spat, obviously still angry over our situation. Rose sighed into the phone.
"You're like my sister, Bella. I'm sorry about the lie, and about Edward... I was only looking out for you."
"Well, I'm fine." There was a sudden knock on my door.
My heart fell away with my stomach and I answered it, still on the phone with Rose. Edward stood in nice khaki pants, and a white button up that wasn't buttoned up to the neck. I melted. His chest hair poked out to look at me seductively. He appraised me with a raised eyebrow, obviously happy with what he saw. I blushed.
"Bella? Hello!" Rose burst through my distant state.
"Yes," I told her.
"Who's that?" Edward asked with a smile. I put my hand up to him in defense and stepped back.
"Is someone there with you?" Rose asked angrily.
"No, no," I quickly lied.
"It's him, isn't it?" She accused. I sighed.
"So what if it is?"
"I can't believe you, Bella!" She shouted. "It's so repulsive!"
"Rose, I really can't do this right now," I said to her. She started to reply, but I clicked the end call button before I could hear anymore. I smiled and took a deep breath as I looked back to Edward in my doorway.
"She knows," He stated, rather than asked. All I could do was shrug.
"I'm sorry, Bella. Maybe I should go," He whispered.
"No!" I said again, only this time in truth. "No, don't." He nodded slightly.
"Are you ready?" He asked. I grinned widely and stepped out with him. We left for Chaos and I forced Rosalie out of my mind.
An hour later we were seated and well fed at Chaos. The bar turned into a night club after eight. Neon lights burst through their shutters, and people began to come alive in a different way. I sat back as I watched the dance floor intently. People spoke without words as they moved along with their partner. Edward laughed softy from beside me.
"What?" I asked shyly, looking over to him. He was comfortable in his chair, his dark liquored drink in one hand.
"Can you dance, Bella?" He asked. I shook my head vehemently. He laughed loudly and threw his head back. My cheeks heated and I downed more of my dirty martini.
"Everyone can dance," He finally said.
"Not true," I replied. Suddenly, he stood up and walked over to stand in front of me.
"Let's dance," He offered.
"No!" I whined.
"Come on," He said, taking my hand and pulling me up, "We've danced before. I think we can do it again." He pulled me against his chest. My own heart began to beat furiously at his remembrance. Five years before, we had danced, and I hadn't again since that night. I relented and allowed him to pull me onto the floor as a new song started.
We slid between other couples as they danced the night away around us before stopping. Edward placed his hands on my hips securely. I threw mine over his shoulders and slowly let myself move with him. It wasn't long before I lost myself. We moved like it had been previously choreographed. It was perfect. His hands gripped my hips and I let the song lyrics pour into my ears.
Want you to make me feel like I'm the only girl in the world
Like I'm the only one that you'll ever love
Like I'm the only one who knows your heart
It suited my thoughts exactly. I needed him just as much as I needed to decathect myself from him. He seemed lost in lust before me. I knew he needed things completely differently than I did. Could he love me in return? Could I give him what he needed? Visions of whips and chains burst into my brain. I cringed beneath his touch, but didn't waver in dancing.
My heated crotch rubbed against his sensually. I wanted to burst. I wanted to yell and scream and I wanted him to take me. I pulled his head down to me and kissed him. He returned the gesture strongly as I wrapped my arms around him. His tongue was sweet and tart from his liquor mixed in with his own personal flavor that I had almost forgotten. I pulled away and looked at him in need.
His face was pained, but filled with need, too. He needed me, and I wanted his need to fill me until it became a lost love that he was giving me instead. I quickly looked around the crowd for somewhere to go. I found nothing. Edward took my hand and pulled me out of the club hastily.
"Where?" I asked breathless. The night air was frigid. My exposed legs burned from the freezing wind.
"Your car," He said. I sighed blissfully. We took my car over his truck, but I couldn't remember why. It just happened, and I was glad It did. My Volvo was much more spacious.
He hit the unlock button on the keys and went to the back door opening it for me. I quickly jumped in with him behind me. He shut the door and leaned over the driver's seat to start the engine. He turned on the heat and the radio. A random club song came on that I had never heard of, but I quickly ignored it. Edward turned to face me, his eyes on fire. He gripped my face and pulled me to his mouth.
We kissed hard holding no prisoners. Everything about the world vanished around us and we were left with nothing and everything within each other. I ripped his shirt open and peeled it down his long strong arms. I couldn't help my staring at his tattoos. My hand slowly traced over his cross then went to the psalm over his chest. Edward's breathing hitched and he suddenly removed my blouse in one swift movement. The rest of our clothes stayed on. It seemed even more sexual that way in this moment. Unfortunately, nothing could prepare me for the outcome of our escapades.
Those of you who have read my stories before know that I just cannot pass up a good dance scene! ;)
I hate leaving you all hanging.. But I do. Lol tomorrow's chapter will pick up where we left off! What did you think?
Song is Only Girl in the World by Rihanna
Btw! I saw Les Miserables last night and I highly recommend it, you guys! So beautiful and that Hugh Jackman? YUM