Ten

"Jo May," I heard Daryl's voice in the darkness and felt a body against me, sitting on the bed, "Jo May, I'm leaving."

I opened my eyes, it was barely light out. I could see Daryl's outline, I stretched and sat up, "Are you sure I can't go with you?"

"Positive," Daryl said, I slipped my hand in his and he lifted it to his lips and kissed it, "Just stay close to Rick… Shane if you have to."

"Okay," I said, "Promise you'll come back soon, okay? Don't be gone for days," I wrapped my arms around his torso and put my head in the curve of his shoulder. He was so warm in the chilly morning, I wanted to pull him under the blankets with me and sleep the rest of the day.

"I gotta go," Daryl said, "do as I said or I'll whoop your ass."

"Yes sir," I smiled and kissed him. He stood up and silently walked out of the tent and into the morning light. I laid back down and shivered, the nights were quickly getting colder. I couldn't sleep. I crawled out of bed and slowly dressed, I slipped outside and threw a couple of sticks on the fire to get the smoldering coals going again. It was going to feel like forever until Daryl returned. I stared into the fire thinking about Sophia, I doubted she was still alive. I thought about my parents, they were probably dead. Or worse. I didn't know where they had been taken or where they went but, I figured they didn't get far if they went into the city. And then, with the pictures of my parents being drug one way and me the other, I remembered those few days after. Tied up, hungry, thirsty and in pain. If felt strange that I wasn't crying about it anymore; I only felt a tightening in my chest and a lump in my throat. Rick came out of his tent and I jumped a little.

"Can't sleep," Rick said, sitting next to me in a lawn chair.

"Me too," I said, tossing some trash on the fire and poking it with a stick.

"You don't have to worry anymore, Jo May," Rick said, staring at me, "Shane told me."

I felt my face flush red and my eyes widened, "He did what?"

"Told me what happened," Rick said, knowingly, "What happened to you. I'm so sorry that it did."

My mouth opened and closed, "I, uh… well," my bottom lip quivered and I drew in a ragged breath but I did not cry, "Please don't tell anyone, Rick."

Rick nodded and I trusted him, "You tell me when you're ready."

"I don't know if I'll ever be ready," I admitted, "I told Shane because… I don't really know why."

"Jo May, ya know, Shane and I used to handle this kind of stuff all the time," Ricks said, taking one of my hands in his, "We can help."

"I know," I said, "I guess… I guess I just want to try to forget it. But… its hard. I dream about it every night."

Lori and Andrea came out of their tents at the same time, Rick let go of my hand, "You let me know when you're ready."

I nodded and went back to staring at the fire, "We're up early," Lori said, kissing Rick and sitting next to him.

Andrea sat next to me and gave me a hug, "How are you feeling? You look tired," she said, tucking my mop of hair behind my ears.

"Daryl left this morning," I said, yawning, "I didn't sleep well. Been up for awhile."

Soon the farm was bustling and busy. Hershel and Maggie were fixing fences, his wife was caring for the animals and their farmhand was busy elsewhere. Shane and I took the truck out to collect firewood. We quietly talked as Shane chunked an axe into a fallen, dead tree and I chucked the pieces into the back of the truck. The manual labor kept my mind off of Daryl. I debated whether I should bring it up but Shane beat me to it, "Hey Jo May, I told Rick about what you told me," Shane said, sitting down on the tailgate and wiping the sweat off of his face.

I sat next to him, "I know," I chewed on one of my nails and spit the edge out into the dirt. It was a nasty habit and my mama would have doused my fingertip in cayenne pepper if she saw me doing it. I looked over to him and he looked sorry, genuinely sorry, "It's okay. If anyone should have to know, it's you two."

"Does Daryl know," Shane asked, casually.

"No," I answered, staring off into the trees, "I don't want anyone else to know, okay?" I was getting annoyed with everyone wanted to talk about it when I wanted to forget.

"You can tell us you know," Shane said, "They won't think any less of you. I didn't… if anything I thought more."

"I don't want that to be my label," I said, standing up, "I don't want people to look at me and see that. I don't want to be the girl that got raped," I slammed my hand down on the side of the truck and hopped off the tailgate, Shane followed as I walked deeper into the woods, "How'm I supposed to tell Daryl, huh? He's not gonna wanna be with me after I've been all busted up?"

"We need to head back, Jo," Shane said, "We're getting pretty far away."

I turned around on my heel and ran into Shane, "let's just go back," I said, "I don't wanna talk about it anymore."

"Jo-," Shane sighed.

"ANYMORE!"