Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended. Stephenie Meyer created it all; I just like to play around in her world.
As always, a shout out to the Fab Five for their support and help - and beachcomberlc and Ocassye for all their beta and pre-reading power! These women have supported me in ways I can't even explain – specifically - encouraging me to continue when I've doubted my writing skills and ability to tell a story!
Hope everyone had a Happy New Years!
~Honor~
Edward knocked softly.
"Come on in," Bella called out as she rolled toward the living room, two bottles of water tucked between her leg and the chair.
He grinned at her as he shut the door, locking it behind him. He'd made a detour to his loft to change into something more comfortable. Bella eyed the soft grey T-shirt hugging his sculpted chest and the flannel pajama bottoms with appreciation. Even his sock-covered feet intrigued her.
She placed the waters on the low sofa table. "Are you hungry? I can fix some snacks."
"Nah. I'm full from the wings Mom put out at half-time."
She grinned as he sat on the couch. "I am too. Man, you were right about your mom. I thought she was going to throw something at the television when the ref made that call at the end of the third quarter."
Snickering, Edward rubbed his fists over his eyes. "Had the Seahawks lost, she probably would've written a strongly worded letter to the NFL."
She rolled close to him. "Your family is amazing. I had such a good time. But you're right; we've got to ask my dad to come next time. He's almost as bad as your mom."
He smiled. "It sounds like a date. I know my mom will be thrilled. In fact, be prepared for her to call you all the time. She really likes you . . . I'm just warning you."
"I like her too." Bella reached out for his hand. "Thank you for inviting me, Edward. It's been a while since I've been around such a large group of people. Crowds make me a little nervous right now, so I tend to avoid them as much as possible."
"What's that going to mean for you, in regards to the veterans' group?"
She shrugged, but didn't meet his eyes. "Not sure yet, other than I want to try. It'll be nice to have people to talk to."
Chewing on his bottom lip, Edward shifted nervously. "I wish I could be of more help. I can listen, but I certainly can't relate."
Gasping, Bella jerked her head toward him. "You've helped me so much, you can't even imagine. It's just sometimes hard to explain what it's like over there. I might be able to tell you the heat feels like it will roast you alive, or the sand, when it's blowing, feels like pieces of glass tearing at your skin, flaying the meat from your bones. But someone who's lived it just knows."
"I can only imagine."
"Kinda like I've watched ER, but I'm sure the way it's depicted is nowhere close to a real emergency room."
He barked out a laugh. "Yeah, not even close. There isn't time to have the kind of fun they have on the show while you're patching up people."
Bella scoffed. "Are you attempting to tell me the nurses don't call you some sort of sexy doctor name?"
He smirked, one side of his lips lifting higher than the other. "Not that I know of. We're usually so busy we don't have time to gossip."
"Edward?" Bella leaned forward, putting her other hand on Edward's knee and drawing his full attention.
"Yeah?"
"They talk about you. Trust me."
He rolled his eyes, then arched an eyebrow at her. "What I'd rather know is do you talk about me?"
Bella felt her cheeks warm, but refused to back down from the teasing in his eyes. "Yep. Leah has several lurid fantasies she's determined I undertake with you."
"Really?" His eyebrow rose a little higher. "Anything you want to tell me about?"
"One day. For now, I'm feeling pretty brave with the kiss I stole off you."
He leered at her, causing her to giggle. "You owe me another one, by the way. But I won't be selfish. If you need to wait, it's okay."
"Edward Cullen, if you think you're getting out of this house without giving me a kiss, you're the one who needs to be seeing a therapist."
Thinking about that kiss, Bella grew nervous, releasing him to twist her hands together. She wanted to try something so badly, but didn't know if it was fair to ask it of Edward.
He grew somber and tapped his fingers along the top of her hand softly. It was an odd thing for him to do, but it ironically settled her. "So . . . I've been doing some reading, and I need to ask you a question." He hesitated, taking a deep breath. "Do I need to call you Mistress Bella or Domme Bella? Because Mistress, from what I can determine, implies I'm your slave, where Domme would represent your dominance in our sex life?"
Bella froze even as she watched him try to control the quirk of his lips. He was fucking with her . . . and having a good time doing it.
Grabbing a throw pillow from the chair beside her, Bella pushed up from the wheelchair quickly, using the momentum to slam the pillow into his head. Quickly bringing it back to hit his chest, her laughter joined his, as he curled into a ball on the couch. Hitting him several more times for good measure, she jabbed a finger to his ribs, goosing him. "Be quiet."
"Domme – got it," he chuckled, earning a halfhearted growl from her.
Laughing, she smacked him one last time, before lowering to the couch. She'd gone weak in the knees and hadn't meant to do it; her actions brought her hip in contact with his stomach as he lay on his side. Turning his head to look up at her, Edward froze, unwilling to make a move to scare her.
"It's okay. One more baby step, right?" The heat of him burned her.
"Whatever you need, babe."
"I'm on to you, you know?"
"How so?"
"Every time you sense my discomfort, you do something dorky like comment about mistresses and dommes to get me to laugh."
"Bella, can I sit up?" he asked, gestured gently as to how close they were.
"Yeah, sure." She didn't move though, allowing him to slide against her as he did so.
She shivered at the heat the brush caused along her skin. More importantly, she felt her desire rise and the need to lean against him.
"All teasing aside, I really did do research." He shrugged, but she saw him blush at her raised eyebrows. "One of my friends is in the lifestyle, so I'm not ignorant. I called him to get some ideas on bondage." He shook his head slightly. "It's clear when you're in control, it's easier for you to be intimate with me."
He reached to grab her hand, linking their fingers.
"He had lots of questions, things I wasn't willing to or couldn't answer, but he sent ideas." He chuckled. "He even volunteered to come and tie me up for you." At her laugh, he explained, "Danny's bi. He's propositioned me more times than I can tell you. I think he's hoping you'll take him up on it so he can finally get me naked."
With a startled huff, she fell back against him. "He'd better keep his hands off you." She snuggled back against his chest. "Or I'll show him how mistressy I can get."
"I don't think there is such a word as mistressy."
She felt his chest shaking against her back. "Well, I'll make him understand it's synonymous with bitchy. I can definitely pull that off, and I'm sure he'll understand the term well enough."
Bella realized, in that moment, that he was wrapped around her back, his arms encircling her. Unease prickled at the back of her neck; feelings of being forced flat to the ground making her heart pound. Sweat collected at the back of her neck as she began to shake.
"Watch how I'm going to make this little bird cry."
Rough, male laughter echoed in the small space.
"You know I could keep you as my pet if you were more helpful."
A knee to Bella's back held her pinned.
"Maybe you like having more than one man at a time." The man's foul breath was wretched. Her stomach rolled, and she vomited clear liquid.
"Nasty American," he shouted, shoving her face down into the liquid, moving her cheek around in the mess.
"Hold her . . ."
She saw Jamie behind the men as the pain swelled; he was sliding something under his leg.
"Bella, I'm moving away." Edward's voice came through the buzzing in her ears.
She took deep breaths, calming the panic. "Don't."
He froze.
"I refuse to let them take this away from me." Her harsh breath was loud in the loft. "I refuse." She squeezed her hands into tight fists as she fought against every instinct to run. Minutes ticked by as she fought unseen enemies in her mind.
Edward remained as still as a statue behind her, only breathing easily when she finally leaned back again. "Bella, did I do something?"
"No!" She exhaled harshly. "No, you're perfect. They just took so much, and now I have to take it back." She moved so that she could face him cross-legged on the couch. "Edward." She struggled to find the words. "I'm so fucked up . . . literally. And I want you so badly. I wasn't thinking, but who has to think twice about leaning on their boyfriend, or cuddling? I'm sorry."
Pinching the bridge of his nose, Edward closed his eyes for a moment. "You don't have to answer this, but I'd like to ask. Are there certain things I should really stay away from right now?"
Bella's hand moved instinctually to her hair. Edward growled, looking away.
"They held you down by your hair?"
"Yeah." Her voice was very small. "Controlled me with it." She couldn't meet his gaze. "I went to get it all chopped off, but I couldn't even stand for the female hairdresser to touch me."
"Please don't get it cut. I fucking love it," he admitted, his eyes wandering over her face and tracing the length that fell over her breasts. "Fuck, what am I saying? It's your hair. Do what you want."
Something wonderful bloomed in her chest, and she grinned at him. "You really like my hair?"
He nodded, his eyes drinking her in. "Love it. And I want nothing more than to run my fingers through it, but I'll remember, I promise. Anything else?"
"My arms and legs. I freak out if they're held down. They restrained me in the hospital. It didn't turn out well. I blacked out on them."
She saw a suspicious smirk on his face. "What?"
He coughed, attempting to cover up a laugh. At her glare, he admitted, "Well, I think we've determined I'm the only one getting tied down for a while, so it won't be a problem."
The weight that had been pressing against Bella's chest grew lighter. "Hmmm, you're right. But first, can I lean back on you again?"
Edward stretched back, putting his arms out to each side, along the top of the sofa. "Better?"
She shook her head, which caused him to look confused.
"Don't you dare call me Mistress when I ask this, but could we go to my bedroom? I'd like to try and lie beside you on the bed."
Slowly lowering his arms to his side, Edward studied her for a few moments. "Hmm . . . a beautiful woman asking me into her bed. What should I say?" He leaned his head to one side. "No?" He leaned to the other. "Yes?" He grinned when she narrowed her eyes at him. "Such a difficult decision."
She grabbed the pillow again, making him lift his hands in defense as he chuckled.
"Bella, I have a better idea, if you'll allow me to recommend it."
Lowering the pillow, she cocked an eyebrow. "I'm listening."
"I'm thinking the bed would be too much, too soon. Would you consider the La-Z-Boy instead?" He nodded to her favorite chair. "Pushed back, with a couple of blankets and pillows, and it would make a decent bed."
She watched him blush.
"You said you had chains for my legs, right? Or were you kidding?"
Her mouth went dry, but she forced out, "No, I have them."
"Perfect. We can attach one to the ends of each of the cuffs. The extra length will allow you to wrap the restraint around the back of the chair. With the slack, I would have some movement of my arms, but I'd still be thoroughly trapped in a way that you'd know you could get away. It's not perfect like the kitchen chair, but this would allow us to sleep together."
Bella eyed the oversized recliner, mentally seeing what he'd recommended. It would actually be more intimate than lying in the bed, but he was right, she hadn't thought about how she was going to cuff him. Sleeping spread eagle would not be something she'd want to inflict, and she couldn't imagine a position with his hands bound together that would be comfortable. Maybe she needed to speak to his friend after all. She felt her pulse pick up. "Okay."
He smiled at her. "May I use your restroom before you tie me down for your pleasure?" he teased.
On to him, she looked down to see her hands tightly fisted. "How do you do that?" she asked.
"What?"
"Pick up on when I'm feeling anxious."
Edward rose, stretching softly before he shrugged. "I'm a doctor. Watching for signs of how someone responds to stimuli is part of what I do. Stress, for instance, manifests differently in every person, but when you start to feel uncomfortable, the vein in your neck starts throbbing, and a light blush covers your chest, neck, and face. You also use the relaxation techniques you've been taught, which causes your breath to deepen. And when you're really feeling threatened, like when you're remembering some of the things that happened, your pupils dilate to where all I can see is black."
Bella didn't know how to respond. That he watched her so closely made her heartbeat race. What would it be like to have him focus on her like that during sex, to asses every little reaction, to categorize them and use the knowledge to please her? Shivering at the thought, Bella watched Edward's eyes darken.
"And when you're turned on, you get a little hitch in your breath, among other things." He gave her a heated look before leaving for the bathroom.
Bella savored the view of his ass before looking down to see her nipples shamelessly poking through her shirt. Edward definitely did it for her.
~Honor~
Edward attempted to keep from smiling when he approached Bella, but lost the fight. She was nervous, but he could tell from the determined set of her shoulders she was going through with her plans. His dick twitched at the chained cuffs hanging from her hands. Damn, she was going to kill him, but what a sweet way to go. He would wait forever if that was what it took to win her trust. Because once he loved her, one taste was never going to be enough. The Kiss, because that was how he was thinking about it, not a kiss, but The Kiss, had been hotter than anything he'd ever experienced. He was but a man, and he'd had to take matters into his own hands, twice. By far no virgin, he'd always had a good time in bed and made sure his partners had a good time as well, but Bella's kiss rivaled most of the orgasms he'd had. Fuck, his cock twitched thinking about her hands on him, much less being able to sink into her tight body.
He had to get his body and thoughts under control, because while he was a man, he was also a gentleman. And right now, that's what Bella needed . . . the best of him, not the man lusting after every inch of her delectable body. Taking a deep breath, he came to stand beside her.
Dark chocolate eyes looked up at him, and he saw the fear and concern.
"I'm okay with this, Bella. Don't worry about me."
Bella released a soft sigh. "I'm afraid I'm asking too much."
Moving faster than he really meant to, Edward put his finger over her lips, stopping her words. "If I haven't been clear, please let me be. Bella, I want to be in your bed, badly. It's killing me to keep from grabbing you up, taking you to your bedroom, and using my lips to make you come until you scream my name. I want you more than I've ever wanted anyone, and I want to wipe every memory of other men, both good and bad, from your mind, so all you'll ever think about is me. But I'm not in this for just that. I want to go to bed with you and wake up next to you, rub your back when your period makes you grumpy, and when you no longer have to worry about it. You're not a fuck to me, just so you know. So, do your best or worst to me. I'm ready." He glanced down at his pajamas, bringing her attention to his hard cock. "Literally."
Bella gasped several deep breaths, enjoying the heat of his words and how they made lust thicken her blood. She wanted to touch him. The men who'd raped her had always kept their clothes on, pulling their pants down just enough to take her. She didn't know if it had been part of their plan . . . their misguided belief their uniforms held some sort of psychological power over her, or if it had been a religious thing, or a homophobic thing as they watched each other. But unknowingly, they'd left something for her. She'd always enjoyed touching and tasting her partners, running her fingers over them.
"Will you take your shirt off?" she asked shyly. She didn't even recognize the squeaky sound that came out of her mouth.
Reaching, he grabbed his shirt behind his neck, pulling it off and exposing his chest and abdomen.
Bella dropped the cuffs she was holding, her eyes glued to his stomach.
Edward groaned when she nibbled at her lower lip. Moving quickly, he sat in the La-Z-Boy, pushing back at it as he pulled the lever. "Bella, cuff me." His voice was hoarse, demanding as he settled into the chair.
She hadn't moved, but the bite of his voice temporarily broke through her fascination with the V leading down his belly. She'd seen lots of men without their shirts - men who had bigger muscles, spent more time on their body, took pride in manscaping—but she'd never seen anyone who held her attention more.
"Bella." His voice startled her, waking her from the fantasies racing through her mind.
"Sorry . . ." she grinned " . . . I was a little distracted." Using the wheelchair for support, she bent, picking up the cuffs she'd dropped and walking slowly over to stand by him.
Edward's smirk told her he knew exactly what had been the distraction. Holding up his left wrist, he let her tighten the cuff.
"Damn," he said as he felt the leather caress his skin.
"You okay?" Bella was uncertain whether to continue.
He watched her through narrowed eyes. "Just wondering what it says about me that I am so fucking turned on right now that I need you to hurry." His chuckle was husky as she reached to attach the other cuff.
"Okay, go behind and attached the leg chain to each end."
He groaned when she tugged at the bindings.
"Bella, this isn't going to work," he said, holding his hands out to show he could stretch his arms almost fully. "I promise to leave them by my side, but I'm not sure this is what you were hoping for."
Eyeing him, she said, "Push the chair back into the reclining position."
When he did what she requested, she noticed his erection and that the chain was even looser. Panic set in and she sat quickly back into the wheelchair, running the wheel back and forward as she worked off the agitation.
"I have another idea. Shorten it by looping the chain, instead of cuffing each end together," Edward spoke softly.
She wheeled to the back of the chair as he straightened it again. His suggestion made the situation much more to her liking. When he lowered it back, he could still move his arms to sleep comfortably enough, but there was much less slack.
She gasped at the picture he presented. The black leather cuffs were highlighted against the pale skin of his wrists. The short chains trailed from there down between the arm rest and the body of the chair, where below, the leg chain looped attaching them. He could probably move his hands several feet to each side, but he wouldn't have full range. His breath came in pants and his green eyes blazed. His hair stood out in a wreck around his face. Desire raced through her as she let her gaze follow the firm muscles of his chest, noticing his tightly pebbled nipples. Skimming her eyes down across his groin and legs, her mouth watered.
In essence, he looked like a present ready for unwrapping. She'd never wanted to taste someone more in her life.
"Now all we need is pillows, blankets, and you," he teased, bringing the chair back to its upright position.
"On it," she giggled, wheeling toward her room.
Edward took deep breaths while she was gone to cool his ardor. In effect, he was bound, but it wouldn't take much to scoot backwards off the chair to release the counterpoint of the chains being draped behind it. He didn't consider himself a wimp, but it made him feel better to know that in the event of an emergency, he could get free and make sure he and Bella got to safety. He didn't relish the idea of his brother coming to the house with the fire unit and seeing him in chains, but knowing Emmett, he'd think it was hilarious. Edward didn't know if Bella had really considered the limitations to his suggestion. He took another deep breath as he heard her wheelchair enter the room, swearing he wouldn't move his arms unless she asked. She trusted him, and he wasn't going to do anything to violate that gift.
Handing him a pillow, she moved to join him in the oversized chair, sitting to his side. She refused to cave to the panic as they were mashed together, allowing his warmth to burn it away. Side by side, she felt the chain at her back, and it was reassuring.
"Bella, when we lean back, I'm going to turn on my side, so I can bring my arm up under my pillow. I may need you to help scoot the chain up, but if we do that, you won't have to sleep on the links."
"Okay."
"Hold on," he warned, leaning over so he could use the slack to pull on the lever.
Bella squeaked slightly when they rocked to the horizontal position, wondering if the chair was really going to support the two of them, but her purchase was vindicated when it remained steady.
"I'm going to turn now," he warned her before shifting and bringing his arm up and dragging the chain with it.
Being brave, Bella dropped her pillow off the side of the chair, settling her head on his so she could feel Edward's breath stirring the hair on the top of her head. It should've sent her into a panic, but the minty smell was far from the stench of the men who'd hated her. She pulled the blankets she'd brought over them, wrapping them in a warm cocoon. Savoring the solid feel of him at her side, she attempted not to cry at the rightness of it.
Moments passed as she allowed his smell and the sound of his breathing soothe her.
"Edward?"
"Yeah?"
"Can I touch you?"
"Yes." His answer was gruff.
Before she could chicken out, Bella turned on her side so they were facing each other. Slowly, she moved her hand toward him under the covers, stopping when her fingertips touched his chest. She would've liked to explore him better, but just touching him overwhelmed her. He was warm, his skin soft, and the hair tickling her fingertips even softer. But it was the hard thudding of his heart beneath where she'd placed her fingers that thrilled her. Placing her hand against his chest, Bella felt the rapid beats spelling out a rhythm against her palm. He slid his hand over hers.
"Bella. You know I asked for a kiss?"
"Uh huh." She was still distracted by the feel of his skin and heart.
"I'm really liking this." He shifted, and she marveled the movement didn't make her panic. "Could we just stay this way?"
She smiled in the darkness, realizing he didn't want to disturb the relaxed moment with the electrifying lust they'd experienced the first time. Moving quickly, she turned her head, placing a quick kiss to the bottom of his chin, before tucking her head back under it.
His quick inhale told her he was as affected by the simple caress as she was.
"Or maybe not. Because that was kinda special too." He scooted a few millimeters closer, bringing her palm fully against his heart. "Good night, baby."
Bella could swear she heard a smirk in his voice. Fingers scraping against his skin gently, she marveled at the sign of his fragile humanness beneath her fingertips.
"Good night, Edward."
~Honor~
AN: Baby steps