N/A: I really appreciate your kind words and thank you all for the reviews and faves! As you can see, we're reaching the last curve of this roller coaster. So hope you enjoy this chapter, it's definitely my favorite one ^^
Beta: Kuroda Miharu :3 thanks darling!
When Shadows Surround You
x
Chapter 10
To Run and Hide
It was a really cold morning. He could hear the wind pounding annoyingly against the window.
He turned around in bed and felt Neji's warm body, so he cuddled into him and breathed in the woody scent of his hair. Shikamaru felt something soft inside his chest, he remembered how the Hyuga cared for him the day before, and how he wanted to kiss the man but Neji didn't let him. To make it stupid simple, he was drunk but he wasn't out of control so why did he want to kiss Neji so much?
Shikamaru relaxed his body, enjoying the futon and the warm blankets. His body felt natural how he fitted with the Hyuga's frame... He sighed, then when he felt his clad morning erection pressed against Neji's butt his mind froze. He asked himself what would happen if Neji woke up right now, he closed his eyes and hid his face in the Hyuga's nape and hair. It was made even worse because all he wanted was to move against the other man, but he shouldn't.
So the Nara just waited for his erection to fade away.
Things were happening too fast. One day they kissed, the next they were at second base and the night before they reached third base as if it was something normal. The real problem was that Shikamaru was feeling so comfortable with the male that deep inside his chest he didn't mind at all about their make out sections; in fact he was enjoying it a bit too much.
It was such a different situation... Back when he was dating Temari he wouldn't be worried about sex but completely crazy about her developing feelings for him. So he wouldn't sleep the whole night with her or spend too much time together. He was afraid of getting involved.
But right now it was a whole different story. He couldn't leave in the middle of the night, or make up some bad excuse to be alone and to be honest he liked Neji's company, even when he was stoic or paranoiac about their bond.
The feeling was almost tender, like taking care of Ino when she was in a good mood or talking to Choji about nothing. All the small things that used to make his life better but now the tender and warming feelings were for someone he barely knew, in a very troublesome situation but it was still nice to feel.
He felt the Hyuga moving and turning, facing him with half closed eyes. Shikamaru could see his white iris' shining lazily, half awake. Their bodies were so close he felt all the man's muscles contorting while Neji yawned slowly and opened his eyes completely. Two full moons staring at him.
"Morning" Shikamaru muttered, mesmerized.
"Hn" he answered, closing his eyes again and relaxing "It's cold" he said in a stoic tone.
Shikamaru felt dizzy and brought their bodies closer together, fingers tangling into cocoa threads his other hand running over Neji's back. Then the moonstones were glaring at him once more, but it didn't bother the Nara at all as he leaned forward, noses touching, lips brushing, hands grabbing, breaths shaking and he kissed him.
It was calm, sweet but intense. Lips opening, tongues licking softly tasting each other's mouths, biting tentatively, caressing...So Neji hugged him back, feeling completely carefree and craving each small touch. Shikamaru's fingers fondling his long hair was making him feel protected. He took the man's thick hair in his hands, pulling him closer, caressing his nape and shoulders.
They were completely insane; maybe it was the bond but they weren't sure. They were lost within the overwhelming number of feelings inside their hearts, it was blinding them so much that it just felt right. Completely right.
Shikamaru moaned into the kiss, he was so hard it was insane, so he started rocking their hips and the kiss grew wilder. Groans exploded from their throats, Neji tangled one of his legs around the chuunin's waist, increasing the friction, making the Nara break the kiss and start licking his neck, biting it, suckling on it, his hand groping Neji's leg, touching it wickedly.
Their groins were starting to hurt, they needed to release or at least to feel it more intensely. So Shikamaru braced their bodies and went on top of Neji, taking his legs on his shoulders, starting to pull the pyjama pants down, making the Hyuga feel Shikamaru's clad hard on against his boxers.
Neji was panting, Shikamaru was sucking hard on his pulse and making him moan stupidly, the chuunin's groin was thrusting slowly against his, he felt the trousers drop on the futon and Shikamaru was already pulling the boxers down. Neji felt bad.
It wasn't supposed to be like this, it wasn't meant to be at all. They were influenced by the stupid bond and he that was feeling all those feelings for Shikamaru...and the lazy bum was being driven by the randy-ness!
"Stop" he said, pulling on Shikamaru's hair, pushing him off his neck, but the man just groaned and kept touching him "Stop it, Nara!" he warned.
So Shikamaru looked at him, gasping, blank eyes looking inside the moonstones.
"I don't want it like this. I'm not succumbing to this fucking bound" he jerked the Nara onto the futon and stood up, walking to the bathroom.
"Wait, Neji!" but the door slammed loudly in response. "Fuck!" he shouted and groaned "Why are you so troublesome?" he asked to the ceiling and punched the futon hard.
x
I'm so stupid!
Neji punched the wall and turned on the cold shower; he needed to think. Why was he being so damned irrational? How could he do this? He, the fucking Hyuga genius, was being driven crazy because of a bond?
Fuck off!
He trembled and turned the tap to hot. It was confusing him, he couldn't be sure what were really his feelings and what were bond-influenced. Neji needed to end this, he was feeling ashamed, manipulated, prideless...
"Son of a bitch..." he muttered, feeling his chest ache... he was neutral yesterday, he was controlled, now he couldn't relax. If he relaxed things like that were going to happen more often.
He closed his eyes, his rage increasing each second. Why was he so affected? Why was he so vulnerable near Shikamaru? Why wasn't he strong enough? When was the last time he felt like that?
He opened his eyes scared, staring at the white wall tiles, his heart beating fast, his head aching and his breath much faster than the normal...
"Holy shit!" he cursed, punching the wall again.
His whole body ached and he couldn't believe that, he couldn't manage that...so he pressed his sealed forehead on the tiles and closed his eyes.
"I can't believe in this heart of mine...stupid fate!"
Shikamaru knocked the door, his voice sounding muffled because of the water. Neji didn't want to listen, he just wanted to calm down and change everything; he neededto change everything. The Nara's voice was louder now, he was knocking insistently making Neji sigh tired.
"Leave me alone" he muttered against the tiles.
"Neji!" he heard muffled "You...Ok?"
"No I'm not..." he answered silently.
"What...doin'?" Shikamaru sounded concerned and Neji smiled bitter, it was troublesome..."M'not doin'...again...I promise!"
The Hyuga cursed and started soaping his body, slowly, as if it was a ritual and after that he would be clean and without problems...
Shikamaru was pissed off, standing in the hallway. A cigarette between his lips only wearing boxers, his hair falling loose on his face. Ok, he could understand that Neji didn't want to go further; a lot of people see sex as more than just physical pleasure, they see it as feelings, intimacy and even love.
Troublesome...
The last thing he wanted was to make their relationship a troublesome shit, they needed to be together some more days and it couldn't be awful; they needed to work well as a team.
"Neji!" he called again "C'mon! It's going to work out, we just need three more days and the fucking old man will be back!" he tried to convince the other, he was losing patience "Ok, if you're that disgusted with the idea of having sex with me go fuck yourself!" he shouted and kicked the door.
Two minutes after that the door was open and Neji looked at him stoically.
"What?" Shikamaru asked moody.
"Go get dressed, we're going to the Hokage Tower."
x
Shizune was staring at them concerned. The pig was in her arms and it made Shikamaru snort. They were standing there waiting for Tsunade for almost an hour. Neji was wearing the same stoic expression since he finished showering, and his aura was completely dark, it was so creepy Shikamaru preferred to stay ten feet away from him.
"Where is she?" he asked "Is she going to take too long?"
"She's with Genma and Kakashi in a reunion, you need to wait"
"Is it ok if I sleep here?"
"Shut up Shikamaru" the stoic voice sounded harsh.
"Fuck you..."
They stayed in that bad mood until the door opened and Genma came out.
"Hey guys, how is Ino doing?"
"She's been troubled" the Nara answered "But will recover soon, don't worry"
"Ok, see yah" he said and left.
"Come in!" Tsunade's voice screamed.
"Finally!"
They stood in front of the desk, Shikamaru had previous ideas as to why they were there and even if he thought it wouldn't change anything. He couldn't just say that to the Hyuga he didn't want to waste time going to talk with the Fifth.
"So, how's the bond going?"
"It's a tremendous catastrophe" Neji said, his voice so bitter it could cut a man in two.
"Why? I thought you were working on the bond release"
"We are" Shikamaru explained.
"Yes, Hokage-sama, but the thing is even with seventeen steps separating us, we can feel each other's feelings and moods."
"Pretty scary, in fact" Shikamaru added.
"And it is unbearable." Neji concluded.
Kakashi was watching them interested; as if he could see more than what they both were seeing.
"So you came here..." the Hokage said "What can I do for you?"
"Do you have any other idea? Anything we could try to break the bond?" Neji asked politely.
"We talked about it" Kakashi said "I can't see any other exit for this. I know it must be terrifying for both of you, but it's just three more nights and Shikaku will be back. You should be more patient-"
"Patient?!" Neji asked, a pulsing vein jumped on his neck and his eyes shone in anger. "I understand it goes beyond your skills, but couldn't you try something else? Ask for some other person? Or at least do not ask me to be patient!" he complained angry.
Neji was out of his mind, not just because he was angry, but because he was talking like this with the Hokage and Kakashi. It was very inappropriate for a Huyga. He sighed loudly and panted, trying to calm down, his anger making Shikamaru become impatient and he wanted to punch someone...so he lit a cigarette, watching Tsunade look at Neji in disbelief, but Kakashi was completely calm.
"Shikamaru, would you mind waiting outside?" Tsunade asked, and the chuunin left without a word. "Now Neji, we're alone, what is bothering you so much?"
"I can't stand it anymore" he confessed, his voice broken "I can't endure it, I tried but it's much stronger than me!"
"What are you talking about, Neji?" Kakashi asked quietly.
"We can't be apart, we do everything together!" he complained "We eat together, we clean the house together, we take walks together...we sleep together..." he looked down ashamed "I can't fight it!"
Tsunade watched him mindfully. The young man was in such a pain because he couldn't control his own feelings.
"What bother you the most?" she asked.
"What?" he laughed "He has too much trouble!" Neji said loudly, so even Shikamaru could hear "Ino has problems and he need to take care of her, his mother is crazy, his goddaughter is an insolent little girl and her mother even worse! Everything in his life bothers me, even his presence bothers me. I wish he was dead" he finished.
Kakashi thought it was normal, maybe Neji wasn't prepared to live this. Without any control over what was happening to them.
"But what bothers me the most is that I like him and I can't fight it back. I fucking like him..." he muttered defeated.
Tsunade and Kakashi looked at him with pity, the man was observing his feet, he couldn't even look at them. He was so ashamed, he was so scared and he had no idea how to deal with it.
Pain bashed his guts and he lost the air on his lungs. Neji growled in pain and lost balance walking back in despair, feeling the pain go away slowly.
"What the fuck was that?" he asked, voice shaking, sweat wetting his face.
"I think Shikamaru heard you wanting him to die" Kakashi said scratching his head in a tic.
"I'll kill that dumb ass!" the Hyuga muttered, breathing deeply and walking away.
"Should I do something?" Kakashi asked lazily.
"No, let the kids be." she answered almost smiling "Looks like the Hyuga has feelings, that sounds nice" Tsunade smiled and looked at him.
"Shikaku is going to kill them..." the copy-nin murmured before jumping out of the window.
x
"What do you think you're doing?" Neji asked disgusted, walking in the shadow-nin's direction. "You can't even stand the pain!" he yelled seeing the ninja leaning against the wall, panting.
"Fuck you!" Shikamaru cursed, looking at the other madly and standing up.
"Are you stupid?" Neji asked spiteful, grabbing the Nara by his vests and shoving the man against the wall again, making him groan.
"Get off me, Hyuga!"
"Ah right and then what? Are you going to walk away and drive us into shattering pain?"
"Didn't you want me to die? So now you don't want it anymore because it will hurt you too?"
"You're ridiculous!"
"No, youare ridiculous! When Ino needed help you didn't think twice in doing it; when my mother went all crazy because of the bond, you said she was a nice mom; when Kurenai was stupid and prejudiced you hugged me! You tried to calm me and now you say to the Hokage you wanted me dead because I'm troublesome?! Are you nuts?!"
"SHUT UP!" Neji screamed, thrusting him against the wall, making Shikamaru hit his head and hiss feeling dizzy and angry at the same time.
The chuunin took Neji by his robes and pushed, shoving the man away of him. In a second they were punching each other - or at least trying to. Shikamaru missed the punch directly to Neji's face but achieved a kick on his stomach, making the man groan and punch back, hitting Shikamaru's nose. A strong noise sounded and blood started pouring from his face.
The Nara groaned in pain but it was bearable, so he shoved his body against Neji, making the man hit the wall and lose balance for a second. In that small second Shikamaru's fingers were in the Hyuga long tresses, pulling it fiercely; with all his strength he turned the jounin and shoved him against the wall, pressing Neji's face against it as the same time he was tugging on his hair.
Their bodies were stuck together and Neji couldn't move if he didn't want to lose his hair. So he panted, feeling one of his arms bending painfully up his back, and Shikamaru's unsteady breath on his ear.
"You broke my nose" Shikamaru muttered dangerously.
"You deserved it" Neji hissed stressed.
"Ha!" The Nara shouted right in his eardrum, making it ache "You know I didn't, you said you preferred me dead just because you didn't want me to fuck you! Really? You're this troublesome?"
"Shut up, Nara, it's not that!" he shouted back.
"Stop being a prick and face that we have a bond and we are connected, stuck together. Even if you think I'm a sleepyhead you will need to handle this!" he pressed their bodies together a bit more, jerking Neji's body against the wall, hitting his cheek on it "I'm not lazy when someone pisses me off" he let go of Neji's hair and walked away. "So get out of my way, prick!"
He reached two steps panting and was surprised by a manly voice barking: "Oh my!"
Neji moved slowly feeling his cheek swelling, sighing and rolling his eyes. He wanted to die now. Shikamaru stood still and wiped the blood with the back of his hand, looking at the three people standing there.
"Great Kami, that was super sexy!" Hanbi exclaimed excited.
"Shut up, Hanabi" Neji threatened.
"You really look like a couple, no jokes now" Kiba said, laughing "Are you together? I mean...together together?" he asked over interested.
Neji sighed and covered his cheek, paying attention on the third person leaning on the wall, smirking and looking into Shikamaru's eyes. What the fuck was he doing here?
"Eh Sasuke-senpai, don't you think they look hot together?" Hanabi asked, eyes shining naughty "How is the tantric sex going?"
"Stop it Hanabi!" Neji hissed.
Shikamaru couldn't stop the blood flow, so gave up and glared at the three idiots in front of him.
"Tantric sex? Oh, tell me more about that Hanabi-chan! But looks like they're having a couple fight!" Kiba laughed again then Shikamaru was right in front of him and punched on his stomach as hard as he could, making the dog-nin fall on his knees.
"Shikamaru!" Hanabi cried.
"Stop that Kiba, do you really think is funny to be bonded with someone?" Shikamaru asked dryly and pushed Akamaru away with his free hand "Try to respect your comrades, you asshole!"
"Sorry, man!"
"Let's go, I need to do something with this bloody nose!"
The Hyuga followed him, glowering at Sasuke all the way and listening to what the bastard was muttering to Shikamaru when they got closer.
"I told you so..." the hoarse voice said sexily and Neji wanted to hit the son of a bitch, why the fuck was he playing with Shikamaru? But the Nara pretended not to hear him and so did Neji.
The Hyuga walked by ignoring the Uchiha until Sasuke started again, whispering very close to him: "I wouldn't decline such a good fuck..."
Neji turned in place and glared at Sasuke, Byakugan activated by itself and he was ready to beat the fuck out of the Uchiha but Shikamaru took him by his robes and pulled him away.
"Ignore him." Shikamaru glared at a smirking Sasuke and shook his head disapprovingly.
So they left.
They strode out of the Hokage Tower; Shikamaru was walking fast and Neji was just behind him, watching his back feeling guilty. Their chests were collapsing, there were so many emotions, sensations, feelings, they had no idea what was their own and what was the other's. It was all mixed up, and they kept walking.
So Neji understood they were going to the Nara Clan.
"Shikamaru, wait" he called, making the man stop "You need medical attention"
"No, I need to think" he answered and kept walking.
They were close to the Nara forest, Shikamaru could sense the herd and the stag was quite angry with Neji's presence, he knew who hurt his boy. He always knew. The Nara's head was aching and all he wanted was to feel at home, in the middle of a clearing, watching clouds and maybe stopping the pain in his nose after a while.
In fact it was hurting a lot, he couldn't breathe, everything smelled bloody, he could feel his heart beat inside his nose because of the swelling. Shikamaru had to make eye contact with the stag and try to make it understand that Neji was not dangerous. They went to the clearing near the small lake and Shikamaru went right to the water, wetting his face, cleaning the blood. He took of his clothes and plunged, letting the cold - very cold - water do its work and less the swelling on his nose.
"You'll get sick!" Neji said to a submerged Nara.
Then he just sat there and waited. His face ached and he pressed some chakra points to stop the pain, looking at the lake, feeling cold out there. He was hungry and angry and ashamed and feeling stupid. He broke Shikamaru's nose...
"Shit!"
All his feelings were so confusing. He couldn't understand nor accept his fate. Neji didn't like to feel vulnerable, it was the worst sensation ever, even if he tried he couldn't endure it. The Hyuga watched Shikamaru cleaning his nose again in the cold water and decided to help.
He stood up and walked to the lake, waiting for the shadow-nin to leave. Shikamaru looked at him, still upset - of course.
"Come here" Neji asked concerned "Let me see this mess"
Shikamaru glared and dove, he didn't want Neji to help him not after punching him on the nose and breaking it. At the same time, he needed to stop the bleeding, the pain and to put the nose in place again.
"Don't be stubborn, it'll get worse if we don't fix it"
The Nara sighed and left the water, he was trembling and his head couldn't bare the pain again. Stopping in front of the Hyuga he just looked at him and waited for something. Neji took his face on his hands and his fingers examined the nose, touching it softly, making Shikamaru hiss in pain.
The bleeding didn't stop because it was out of place, and the swelling was worse than before. Neji took the nose between two fingers and moved.
"OUCH! FUCK!" Shikamaru lost balance, but Neji held him by the waist and helped him sit.
"Wait"
Neji pressed some points to decrease the pain and examined his nose, making sure it was in place again. He felt Shikamaru calming down. The Hyuga stood up and walked around the clearing, waiting for all this to stop. He just wanted to get his life back; his missions, his sake nights with Tokuma, his trainings with Hinata and Hanabi...normal life...everything back on track...
The afternoon came even colder, Shikamaru was watching the clouds trembling his wet ponytail was going to get him sick. The clouds didn't look nice, they had no forms just a bunch of grey cotton candies; he couldn't relax as he wanted, thinking about how angry Neji was with him, he even wanted Shikamaru dead because he tried to have sex with the Hyuga! Really, it was way too over the top...
Was the Hyuga mad at him just because of that or he had some weird trauma about sex? Because he didn't look like a traumatized man, he looked very comfortable the other days...Shikamaru stared at the jounin near the lake, sitting like a monk with closed eyes. Maybe he was in love with someone else and it was too much for him...maybe it was Tokuma...
Troublesome.
"C'mon, Neji, I'm hungry"
x
"Dear God Shikamaru, what happened with your face?!" Yoshino shouted when they walked into the house "Haven't you got days off? What the hell are these bruises? And your nose, look at this, it's horrible!"
"Thanks mom" he said and sat lazily in a chair by the table.
"You too, Neji, your cheek is almost black!"
"I'm ok, Yoshino-san, thanks for the concern."
"Ice, you need ice!"
She provided them with enough ice for a platoon of shinobi and started heating the food "Did you go on a mission or what?"
"I tried to rape Neji, that's all mom" Shikamaru said bored and she stared at him.
"I raised you better than that Shikamaru!" she complained "Bad joke, isn't it Neji?"
"Yes" he said stoically, he would never talk to his mom like that, ever!
"We had a fight, mom."
She stopped and looked both of them.
"Men, I'll never understand you, everything is a reason for a stupid fight. You should behave and enjoy your time together..." She finished cooking and they started eating. "So, how is it going, this bond thing and life together?"
No one answered.
"Ok, so I suppose you two are so stubborn you can't stand each other...which means you're good, just a broken nose and a bad bruise" she smiled. "I will prepare some medicine for you."
Yoshino left the kitchen after looking concerned at them. Of course they were in a bad situation, it wasn't easy to deal with such a bond but for Shikamaru get into a fight was something very hard. He was a lazy bum and if needed he would run and hide but never get into his fists; this way she concluded they were having a very stressful moment right now.
"You didn't try to rape me" Neji muttered nervy, eating his rice silently.
"Feels like I did, you broke my nose."
The Hyuga rolled his white eyes.
"If you have tried, we would be in your funeral right now, not eating your mom's food." he hissed.
They spent the rest of the evening silently. Yoshino was the only one to talk and ask about them. They were sitting on the backyard with her, drinking tea and listening to the old woman remembering Shikamaru's childhood. The young Nara just pretended not to hear those disgraceful stories and wondered why his mother loved to shame him in front of people.
He lit a cigarette and drank his tea, sometimes looking at Neji who looked strangely lost and lonely. His mom was trying her best to cheer them up, but that was so difficult...the Hyuga would smile politely but his eyes were completely emotionless, and Shikamaru couldn't feel normal, he couldn't understand the other male and it was making him feel pitiless.
It was when Neji asked to take a shower and they went in. Shikamaru lead them to his room and took clean clothes to his comrade. They felt weird alone in a room and the Nara sighed.
"I'm sorry ok, I really was enjoying the moment, I didn't think."
"It's ok, Shikamaru."
"How is it ok? You were mad at me and now you can't even look in my eyes"
"I'm ashamed, I broke your nose, I wanted you to die just because I'm moody" he said "How would I be normal?"
"Just apologise" Shikamaru said, looking at the man in front of him.
"I'm sorry" Neji's moonstones were there, clear as could be, asking for his forgiveness in such a beautiful way that Shikamaru shivered.
"Everything is fine" he said, smiling a little, his nose was still swelling and under his eyes were a great bruise because of the fracture.
When Neji finished his shower it was Shikamaru's turn. In that moment the Hyuga looked the chuunin's room and sat on his huge bed, feeling very comfortable, but inside his chest he wasn't comfortable at all. Shikamaru's smell was everywhere in that bedroom and it made his heart race, he felt wrong here, like he didn't fit beside the Nara.
A noise caught his attention and he saw Yosinho leaning on the door and smiling sadly at him.
"Are you ok Neji?"
"Yeah, just tired" he answered.
"You don't look ok. Can I do anything for you darling?"
He looked at her and smiled bitterly, in fact she could help him.
"Can I sleep in the spare room?"
"Sure thing!" she smiled at him "How many steps already?"
"Seventeen."
"That's more than enough. I'll prepare it to you" saying as she left.
x
He lay on the futon, feeling the blankets start to warm him. The lights were still on, he had borrowed a book from Shikaku-san and started to read it...or at least he tried.
Shikamaru knocked gently on the fusuma door and slid it a bit.
"Good night" he said without looking at Neji.
"Good night, Shikamaru".
It was weird, he felt so alone there, in that empty room, which was a beautiful room in fact...he tried his best to read or sleep, but he couldn't; it was so difficult and annoying he wanted to press some points but couldn't do it properly on himself.
It was almost midnight when someone knocked again on the door and slid it. This time was Yoshino with a tray of tea and cups.
"Looks like you can't sleep" she murmured "I thought some jasmine tea would help"
He smiled and sat on the futon, watching her pour some tea for them and close the door. She was so kind it hurt his heart thinking if his mother would be like her or how would she be...
"Thank you, Yoshino-san"
"You're welcome, Neji-kun" she smiled and gave him a cup "I have insomnia when Shikaku is not here, it takes me hours to get some sleep...tea helps to feel warm and comfortable."
He took a slip. It was great, warm and nice, better than Hinata's tea which was a miracle.
"It's very tasty" he muttered and she smiled.
"Neji-kun, are you feeling ok? You look sad, dear..."
He looked down, feeling weirdly empty and damned.
"It's my fate, I wasn't born to be happy" he explained.
"Well, the Nara's don't believe in fate, you will need a new excuse" she told him, making the Hyuga smile and nod.
"How can someone control their feelings?" he asked quietly.
"Hm. So is that...Shikamaru told me the bond is making you feel each other feelings. It must be hard to handle."
"I don't know what is me, what is him and what is the bond."
She breathed and tried to think how to explain to a young man. She looked at him tenderly and started.
"Are you developing feelings for my son, Neji?"
"I don't know if it's really me..."
Yoshino nodded and took a slip of her tea.
"You know Neji, it's very hard to control our feelings, even when we don't have a chakra bond. So I suppose that with a bond it's even harder and I'm very sorry about that because I can't give you any advice about what is you and what is not..." the woman breathed and turned the cup in her hands, looking at it.
"I assumed it was impossible to differ..."
"Everybody knows the point where you can step back in their feelings, but I'm not sure if with this bond you could sense it or not..."
He nodded. Neji knew he just understood his feelings this morning, and he didn't feel the point of no return during the days before; maybe the bond blinded him and now he couldn't do anything.
"What if Shikaku-san can't break the bond? Do you think I'm going to feel it forever?"
Yoshino looked in his white eyes seriously.
"We can't say. Though he is a very smart man, lazy and stubborn but clever, he will find a way of breaking it." she assured him.
They drank their teas quietly.
"But you shouldn't worry too much, Neji-kun"
"Why do you say that?"
"Because even when we feel the point of no return, we always choose to step forward, even when we know that it's bad for ourselves...you're a brave man, you wouldn't run and hide like Shikamaru, you would stand by him and show this son of mine how to love someone."
She smiled and stood up, taking the tray with her.
"Good night, dear."
"'Night..."
If Neji couldn't sleep before, he defiantly couldn't now. He turned off the lights and turned on the bed trying his best to rest. On his mind all Yoshino's words were echoing again and again...could he show Shikamaru how to love? Could he stop and step back, or would he choose to step forward? What was he really feeling?
It was warm and tender and at the same time it was full of fear and abandon.
Was he in love with Shikamaru? Was it love already? What was it?
So he fell asleep for no more than three hours, when he woke up his head was remembering what Yoshino said. Neji opened his eyes and saw a shadow on the door. He blinked once, twice, but it didn't leave; his eyes focused better and he saw perfectly.
Shikamaru was in the other side of the door, standing in the corridor, waiting for he didn't know what. One hand on the door latch the other on his pineapple ponytail. He sighed giving up and walked away, because he wasn't brave enough to confront what he was feeling.
Maybe Neji really should show him how to stop running and hiding away. Then the Hyuga fell asleep, knowing he wasn't the only one troubled by the feelings.
.
N/A: Yoshino is my beloved one. omg, I just love her, hope you like her too.
Well, this fic will end in chapter 15, so just more five to go! next chapter we will start the countdown :3
As you can imagine, I would appreciate many reviews in this chapie! The more I get the faster next chap will be up!
Loads of love, sweethearts!
Tai xx
Fanart: Kuroda Miharu drew a lovely fanart inspired by When Shadows Surround You, check it out: kurodamiharu . deviantart / #/d5drhaf