Sorry I haven't posted in a few days, College has started back up, but I will try my best to keep posting regularly!
Enjoy! Oh and thank you to my lovely Beta once again!
Jacob lets out a heavy sigh and then smiles. He laughs slightly then leans his forehead against mine.
"I love you too, so much." He then kisses me again and it felt so good to be with him. There was nothing more important.
"What's going on in here?" Edwards stern voice came from behind us and all at once I was filled with reality. I turn around and see Seth standing to the side awkwardly and Edward was standing with his arms crossed across his chest.
"I'll call you later." I whisper as I push Jake out of the open door, he smiles at me as Seth follows him out. I shut the door and turn to Edward.
"Please don't." I plead with him, he's on my side I don't need him to start judging me.
"As long as you know what you're doing." He says holding his hands up in defence and then motions his head to the room. I smile and then grab some microwave popcorn out of the cupboard.
Edward and I sit on the sofa eating popcorn and watch School of rock. Edward makes annoying comments about the movie that I don't really listen to. I just want to watch the freaking movie. My phone was ringing in my back pocket. I fish it out and then answer it.
"Hello Jessica." I say all happy and cheery into the phone. Nothing could ruin my mood right now.
"Renesmee, tomorrow, you, me, Mike and Jake. We're going back to school shopping alright?" Her boldness makes me laugh and I nod, even though I know she can't see me.
"Sure thing, what time?"
"Mall at twelve?" She says all excited "Hi Ness." Mikes deep voice comes down the phone.
"Okay sure thing Jess and hey mike, good to hear from you I guess." We both laugh and then Jess hangs up. It's good to hear from her I feel like it's been forever, even though it's only been like three days. Now that Edward knows about the pregnancy maybe it will be safe to tell Jess, I have confidence now that people won't judge me and I know this pregnancy isn't a mistake. Plus I've told Jessica everything since we were in fourth grade when she came up to me and declared herself my best friend. Jess has always given me the 'Don't get pregnant' speech more times than I can count, but she's never given me the 'So you're pregnant.' talk. But Jess is always so understanding, she's always there for me and I know she'll be here for me now.
"Hey wake up sleepy head." Edward nudges me with his elbow. I find myself opening my eyes and realizing that I had fallen asleep on the side of the couch. The credits were rolling on the screen so I grab the remote and pause it.
"Sorry." I say stretching my arms and then yawning. As I bring my hands back down to my sides I feel my belly rumble.
"I haven't eaten all day." I say nervously, would that hurt the baby? Doesn't the baby live off what I've eaten?
"What do you want?" Edward gets up and heads for the kitchen. I just shrug and follow him in there! There really hasn't been much that I've been able to keep down and at the moment I've only been able to eat fruit.
"What are you in the mood for?" Edward claps his hands and then rubs them together, I laugh and then Look at him.
"I don't know like at the moment I really can't keep anything down, what would you suggest?"
"When your mom was pregnant she was the same, but when it came to cheese she would eat anything that was smothered in it. Grilled cheese? " He looked all proud and big headed. I nod and laugh at him as he makes his way around the kitchen to collect the ingredients. With ease he starts to prepare the food he had set out on the counter.
"So did you tell Jacob?" He asks casually as he puts the cheese on some bread and then puts it under the grill.
"No I didn't, honestly I don't want him to run away! I don't want him to decide that it's too much and that he doesn't love me enough to go through with having a kid."
"So what are you going to do Renesmee? He's going to find out sooner or later! You're going to start showing and when you do questions are going to be asked. Don't you think it's better to tell him now rather than later I mean it will sound better coming from you!"
"Yeah I know that, I know I need to tell him but as I've already pointed out, I don't want to lose him." Leaning my arms on the table I rest my right cheek on my arms so that I could still see Edward.
"Renesmee look at what you've been through the last couple of days with Jake, he keeps coming back, he keeps trying to make whatever he's done right. I may not like the kid but you have to give him that. If he didn't want to be with you, he wouldn't keep coming back. A child is… A big responsibility but if he loves you like you know he does he will get through it with you."
"What about you though? You loved mom so you say but you still ran away." I say frustrated, he was making sense but if he loved mom like Jake loved me then obviously everything he said was bullshit.
"is Jake a coward?"
"Were you a coward when you found out mom was pregnant?" I ask angrily, we were getting nowhere.
"Yes, I guess I was always a coward Ness." He says quietly as he watches the food he had placed in the oven.
"Has Jacob ever let you down Renesmee?" Edward turns towards me and I could feel his stare on the back of my head. I close my eyes and try to let go of the tension between us. Slowly I exhale and answer.
"No, he hasn't not really." I say straighten up in my seat. I guess he was right. I can't wait until I'm about to drop to tell him that I'm pregnant, not that I will have to because I'll be showing, Jacob and everyone else are not idiots. I'm going to have to tell him and it would be better if it came from me.
"Well there we go." Edward checks the grilled cheese and decides that its done. He plates it up and places it in front of me. I smell it slightly and realize that I was completely starving. It smelled so good, the odour of cheese seemed so new, so brilliant and so mouth-watering. Letting it cool I continue to smell this brilliant yet simple food, but as well as this I start to imagine what our child would look like. They will defiantly have brown eyes and beautiful dark skin like Jacob. Jacob is such a strong character he has such a strong personality that I can't imagine any of me being in our child. Any part of Jacob that is in a child makes them as close to perfect as I can ever imagine.
"Okay well I'm going to go and have a shower. I'm meeting Sue at six and it's five. Got to make myself look half presentable." I nod my head as I take the first small bite of my grilled cheese. Oh my God.
"So you and her are really hitting it off?" I ask after swallowing heaven.
"Yeah I guess, is that okay with you? Like if she was around a bit more?" He asks all of a sudden nervous.
"If you're happy I'm happy." I say smiling up at him sweetly. A warm fuzzy feeling blossomed inside of me and all of a sudden I felt like I was on cloud nine. Nothing could bring me down and I honestly felt like I've never been happier. Edward smiles and then leaves me to eat.
I finish off my grilled cheese and then place my plate in the sink. I decided that since I still had a little bit of time to be a selfish teenager I wasn't going to bother washing it up. As I walk out of the kitchen and start to climb the stairs Edward starts to climb down them.
"I won't be out too late." He says as he continues to do up his tie. I just smirk.
"Don't get to drunk now."
"Yes mam." He laughs. I continue my journey up to my room and quickly undress into my PJ's. I slump in bed and then quickly realize that the reality of this does not just stretch to Jacob. I'm going to have to tell Mom and Esme and Carlisle sooner or later. Even worse I'm going to have to tell them that I've decided to keep my baby and not give it up for adoption or anything like that. They're going to have to see me struggle just like mom did. What a bad case of Deja Vu .
Mom is going to go mental. But I can't think of anyone who will be more supportive than her, I mean she went through it with no parents. She had pretty much no one (Apart from Esme and Carlisle) She had to do it on her own. I won't have to do it alone though, I'll have Edward and mom and obviously my grandparents. Plus my mom is my mom right? She'll love me no matter what.
Taking my laptop out from under my bed I quickly message Jacob about tomorrow. He agrees to meet me at my house and that I will drive him in my new shiny car. It feels so good to Have Jacob back, I guess he just needed a massive kick in the fucking ass. I bite my lip and try to decide the best place to tell him. I could take him to the meadow tomorrow and tell him there. Maybe he'll be so blinded by the meadows beauty that he won't realize our stupidity.
Drifting to sleep I think about a small dark skinned child running around a forest with his parents following after him.
I stretch as I wake up and then check the time on my alarm clock. 10:30. I don't think I've ever slept for so long in all of my teenage life. I giggle to myself as I stretch and wiggle my toes. I feel so good, like I'm a shining star. Sitting up in bed I surprise myself by not hurling again and then make my way to the bathroom. Before I could go in however Edward sticks his head out from the bathroom. I pinch my nose to stop myself from smelling the disgusting smell that came from there.
"What the fuck?" I moan as I realize the painful smell was the smell of puke. I look at Edward and see the dark circles around his eyes and the pastiness of his skin.
"I only had a few shots, maybe a few beers. I can't believe how much of a light weight I've become." He whines as he looks down at the floor and takes deep breaths. I just laugh at him.
"Renesmee this isn't funny I feel really sick." He mutters which makes me laugh even more. I scuttle my way past the bathroom, avoiding looking and turn my head back to him.
"Clean that up okay, I don't want to go in there and throw up because you were sick. I'm on a two day winning streak with not throwing up." I smirk and then leave him to his own problems. Rushing down the stairs I go into the kitchen and grab some readymade pancakes from a packet. I place them in the toaster and then grab the cheese from the fridge. Just an experiment. Once the pancakes were steaming ready I grate some cheese over them and then grab some cutlery. Cautiously I sit down at the table and stare at my food. Once I had mustered up the courage I Cut a small slice of pancake and then made sure that a large amount of cheese was also on my fork. Slowly i spoon it into my mouth. The sweetness of the pancake collides beautifully with the savoury and mouth-watering taste of the cheese. Nothing has ever tasted so good.
I guzzle down my food and place my plate in the sink with my plate from the night before. Slowly I make my way up stairs and into the now vacant bathroom. The strong smell of cleaning products fills my nose and I have to cover it. I breathe small breaths through my nose and try to avoid getting the taste in my mouth. I shower quickly, keeping one hand pinching my nose. Washing my hair was an interesting experience.
Wrapping a towel around my body and wrapping one around my head I make my way back to my bedroom. I pick sensible clothes and then slip them on. I check the clock and realize that its 11:30. Holy shit Jake will be here in a minute. I take out my hair dryer and dry my long wavy hair the best I could.
"Renesmee." I hear Jacob's loud cheerful voice come from the back garden. I grab my wallet and bag and then rush down stairs. I grab my phone from the living room and then enter the kitchen. Edward was there sat at the kitchen table. He had his face in his hands and there was a cup of black coffee set in front of him.
"My wallet is over there. I took out $500 dollars before I went and got fuck up for you to spend today." He points to his wallet that was on the counter. I go to it and open it. I spy the massive wad of notes in his wallet and take them out. In shock I turn to him.
"Uh, are you sure?" I ask walking over to the table and placing the money by him.
"Yeah go crazy." He mutters. I squeal slightly which causes him to cover his ears. I then kiss him on the cheek the way that I always do with mom. He looks up at me and smiles. I return the smile, put the money in my purse and then make my way outside.
"Hey you." Jake says lightly. Nervously he pulls me to him and kisses me.
"Hey, you ready?" I say taking him over to my new car.
"Jeez, what a beauty." He says running his hand over the hood of the car. Admiring its perfection.
"I know." I laugh excitedly. We get into the car and I start to drive.
"I never knew how caring Seth was." I say to him. Starting of the conversation.
"Yeah he's a good friend." Jacob says as he looks down at his lap. I roll my eyes.
"Stop okay Jake. You're not a shy person and you've never been shy around me. I believe that what happened was all Sam okay. I don't believe that you meant for that kiss to happen and I don't think you did drugs Jake. I mean Seth told me about the weed but it was a small problem compared to everything else. I know that you won't do it again okay. I don't want to talk about it because there's nothing else to talk about, it's just awkward. Seth pretty much covered everything so please can we just move on." I take a turn on the right just as Jacob looks up and looks at me.
"Okay you're right. So why do we have to leave so early, it only takes twenty maybe thirty minutes to get to the mall Ness." He points out as he changes the station on the radio.
"Jess is always early. I'd be a foolish friend if I didn't know that." I laughed .
Sure enough we find Mike and Jess in the food court half an hour before we were supposed to meet. As she sees me she laughs happily and then brings me into a tight embrace.
"Are you ready for this?" She asks tauntingly. I just roll my eyes and laugh.
Jess and Jake drag us around the mall, we go in multiple sports, clothes and stationary shops just so the two of them can see the best designs and prices. Did I ever mention that I hate shopping with Jess? Well it's become a heavy habit. Myself and Mike trail behind. Only talking when were asked something and buying barely half of what Jess and Jake pick up and spend the cash on. I see the way that Mike looks at Jessica though. His perfect quiet yet modest personality suits Jessica's outgoing and loud character. He calms her down, he brings out the gentle side of her and she brings out the protective, manly side of him. I've never met two people who bring out so many personality's and emotions in each other.
"So I'm glad you're feeling better?" I say to mike awkwardly as we follow our partners around a very fancy stationary shop. He looks up at me and smiles shyly.
"Yeah I heard that you punched Sam, that's pretty sweet Ness." He laughs encouragingly. He makes his way slowly around the shop. I could see every now and again the small winces of pain on his face. He holds his side slightly but keeps it out of Jess's sight. I know that he doesn't want her to worry.
"Yeah, hurt like hell though. Hey do you want to sit down on those chairs over there, and have a rest." He just nods his silent thank you as we make our way over to some chairs that were by the diaries.
Myself and Mike settle into a comfortable silence. Mike takes out his phone and starts to play a game. As I rustle through my bag I realize that I still have my now battered copy of Star Crossed. I start to read from the place that I left off. Her and her gay best friend were now friends again and they were getting ready to go to a club. Getting engrossed in my book I almost didn't hear the disgusting giggles that came from the other end of the shop. I look up and panic spreads over me. Jacob and Jessica were looking at note books and folders, they had their back to an oblivious Alice and Sam who were looking at craft paper and pens. I was stuck to my chair just looking at the disaster that was about to happen. Sam continues to whisper stuff in Alice's ear and she continues to giggle.
"For the love of God just shut up." Jacob's voice comes from his lips as he turns around. His brave face fell as he saw who it was. I leap into action and rush to stand by Jacob and now Jess's side.
"Shut up black." Sam spat at him. Mike had made his way over to us. I could feel Jacob tense up.
"Don't you look disgusting? Sorry Ness I guess I got the better, cooler, stronger guy. Good luck with my sloppy seconds. Oh and little miss I think im better than everyone, I think you need to get your head out of your ass, you ain't that pretty . How's the ribs Mike? Still broken?" She laughs and I step forward, fuming. How fucking dare she. She raises an eyebrow and then laughs even more.
"Who the fuck do you think you are? You think you're better than everyone else? What's a pretty arrogant little girl doing getting all mixed up with this dickhead? Alice step of your nasty little pedestal and really take a minute to look at yourself. You stupid whore." I' stepped closer to her, getting right into her face. For the first time in my life I actually towered over someone. God knows what their nasty sex life is like.
She then did something I didn't expect. She pushed me with her hands. Her hands connected with my torso and I went stumbling back. She may be small but damn that girl has power. As I stumble backwards I fall into one of the stands holding all sorts of stationary. Instead of falling backwards the stand wobbles a bit and then falls onto me. It comes crashing down onto my back. It was massive and I've never felt anything so heavy on me in all of my life. Then my thoughts immediately turn to my belly. I start to scream at the top of my lungs.
The next thing I know is the massive stand was being lifted of me and I was being helped up. Shock was plastered on everyone's faces, even Alice's and Sam's.
"Do you know what you've done you fucking idiot." I shout at her, tears streaming down my face. I place both hands on my stomach.
"Calm down you're not hurt." Alice mutters, crossing her hands over her torso and looking to the side.
"No I'm not." I yell at her.
"Then why are you fucking shouting?" She yells back.
"Because I'm pregnant." I scream