When Steve entered the living room he immediately noticed the small table was lined with empty Coors Light bottles. Upon further investigation he saw the glass from what he only could assume was from the broken bottle of Jack Daniels glued to the stainless steel sink by what appeared to be congealed stomach acid. It wasn't any worse than he expected. What did make it worse was that it sadly wasexactly what Steve expected. As he reached the bottom on the staircase he was suddenly hit by the sound of music. He let out a sigh and looked over towards the front door. A lesser man would have turned and left the same way he came. Instead he made his way up the stairs his shoes echoing loudly against the hardwood floors like they were made of lead weights.
"You look like shit," he stated after he gave Finn a once over now leaning against the door frame.
Finn lifted his head from the back of the leather chair he sat in and his eyes slowly opened into narrow slits, "What are you doing here?" He groaned his words half slurred.
"Mind if I smoke?" Steve asked but didn't bother to wait for answer. Instead he quickly lit a cigarette and grabbed an empty beer bottle to collect the ashes before he sat down on the futon adjacent to Finn.
"You quit smoking when you got married." Finn slurred again as he reached to his side. "Beer." Finn held a bottle out to Steve.
"Special occasion." Steve took the bottle, opening it and taking a drink before he choked, making a sour face when he tasted the luke warm amber liquid, "How the hell do you drink these warm?"
Finn took a drink before his head tipped back against the chair again, "Stopped tasting it a while ago."
"Obviously," Steve drawled and let out a sarcastic laugh while dumping his ashes into the empty bottle. "Your brother called me. I just thought you were still in New York and figured I'd see you on Tuesday or you'd have called, but imagine my surprise when Kurt called me. He told me you'd left New York after a fight with Rachel and if I didn't go check your house and find out if you were alive he was either calling your mother or reporting you missing and sending the cops here."
"Kurt always has been a drama queen."
"Well when you don't answer your phone in a week and a half people worry," Steve said with a bit of disgust in his voice. "You gonna tell me what happened?"
Finn drunkenly shook his head in no before he lowered it dejectedly, letting his chin hit his chest. . "How is it possible for one person to make you feel so much so quickly when you've been able to push it all away for years." Finn asked, the words stumbling out of his mouth.
"Because you don't have a screw loose. You're human. And no matter how much we try not to feel. No matter how much we push it away and bottle it up eventually we all have to feel something."
"Says the guy with the perfect life. Says the guy who has my life." Finn spat before bringing his warm beer back to his lips.
Steve scoffed at his words and put his cigarette into the bottle only to immediately light another. "You don't think I've never had to fight feelings away. You're wrong," his head bobbed forward to make a point despite Finn's closed eyes and drunken haze. "You think I wanted to fall in love with my best friend's ex-wife? You think that I actively pursued those feelings? No, I fought those with every fiber in me for as long as I could." He drew in a sharp breath then took a long drag off his cigarette to calm himself.
He refused to scream, he refused to create a scene. It would only expend more energy than he would get back and he knew that better than anyone. "I'm sorry." The monotone voice he'd been so careful to use finally cracked and his sincerity came through in his apology. "And it's about four years too late but I'm sorry I fell in love with your ex-wife. I'm sorry that while you were giving up on Alison, on me, on everything..." He stopped and gritted his teeth to maintain his control, "I'm sorry that you gave up. Because we never gave up on you. Despite everything, we nevergave up on you. Not me, not Alison, and it is pretty fucking obvious that despite whatever bullshit teenage past you have Rachel, she never gave up on you either." He paused, swallowed hard and added pointedly, "Not even when she thought you were married." A bit of bitter disgust for Finn's current state slipped out with the last of his words. "I honestly feel sorry for the girl."
Finn's head snapped forward and his eyes darted open, "Fuck you. You don't know Rachel."
A smug smile crossed Steve's face and an air of arrogance flooded his voice, "No, but I do know you.And at your best you want to give up. You love that girl. I don't think you ever stopped loving that girl and she made you happy and she… but you at your best," His body hunch forward and he began speaking through his teeth, "And your best is giving up because it's a hell of a lot easier to give up and not feel anything. You're lucky, not all of us get that luxury."
"Go to hell."
Steve relaxed his body and leaned back against the futon, "You know I didn't come here for Kurt."
"Then why the hell did you come? To say a bunch of shit because you think you're always right?" Finn's words were now a weapon he was using to push it all away again.
"I came to tell you I can't do this anymore." Steve said in resignation as he pressed his lips together into a tight line. He drew in a sharp breath knowing it would pain him to say what he was about to say. "You think everyone just leaves." He stated, not questioned, "You want everyone to just leave you the hell alone so you don't have to feel anything. So, I have decided, I'm going to give you what you want. We can't be friends anymore because…" he paused, hoping he had the strength to continue, but trudged forward knowing this had to be done for Finn's sake, "… friends support each other. We can be business partners or you can buy me out and I'll find a new way to support my family." He dropped the last of his cigarette into the bottle and stood up. "Because I can't support this anymore."
"Get the hell out of my house." Finn mumbled without ever lifting his head to look. If he had he would have seen that Steve was gone before the words ever left Finn's mouth. Finn squeezed his eyes closed tighter as the taste of bile filled his mouth. He wanted to take another drink and hope it would make him numb in the same way he'd been for days. He knew it wouldn't work but he was going to try again anyway. He felt around but only found empty bottles. A harsh breath escaped his lips when he finally opened his eyes and stood up to look around. It only took an instant for his eyes to zone in on the broken glass on the floor and the picture that stared up at him.
His eyes focused in, and all he saw were the smiles and a surge of emotion coursed through him. He pounded his fist to floor once. Then a second time, then a third. He pounded his fist against the floor until all he felt was physical pain. A pain he could deal with. A pain he could actually face come morning.
0000
Steve was thankful the drive home from Finn's house wasn't long which didn't give him too much time to think. If he had he was afraid that he might actually turn the car around. He sighed and rubbed his hands down his face as he walked in the front door, hanging his keys on the rack.
At the sound of his steps Alison walked out of their son's room and into the hallway. "How did it go?" She asked as she approached her husband.
The simple question made him fall apart. His face fell and before he even had the chance to fight them away the tears came as he fell into her open arms. "I had too," he sobbed against her shoulder. "I didn't know what else to do. I.. I...," his voice broken unable to finish the sentence.
"Shhhh," Alison crooned as she ran her fingers through his hairs, trying to calm him. "Shhh. I know and you did the right thing."
"I didn't want to. He's my best friend," his words were huffy as his chest shook with sobs. "I can't watch him destroy himself out of fear when he's got the chance to be happy."
"Daddy." A small hand that tugged on his pants leg caused Steve to steady himself and raise his head from Alison's shoulder. "Daddy why are you crying."
Steve cleared his throat and leaned down, "Daddy had to do something really hard tonight. Something you're too young to understand." He sniffled and pulled his son to his chest in a hug. "Something I hope you never have to understand." He said softly to himself.
"Don't be sad. It'll be okay, Daddy." Jace reached his arms around Steve's neck and hugged him tightly.
"Yeah," he swallowed hard and nodded. "Yeah buddy. It'll be okay." He spoke the words not only to reassure his son but because in that moment he knew they were true. They had to be.
00000
"Well you did a number on it, but it's not broken." The doctor stated as he turned away from the hanging x-rays to face Finn. "We already bandaged it up. I wrote you a mild pain killer. Don't take it with alcohol and RICE the hand and it'll be fine it a couple of days."
Finn made a confused expression, "Rice? Like you want me to put my hand in rice?" He had always known there were some oddball medical practices but he wasn't about to willingly stick his hand in a bag of rice. Wouldn't that just hurt his hand more? "
The young ER doctor laughed loudly, "No sorry," he said with a broad smile. "Rest, Ice, Compression, which in this case is heat, and elevation. RICE . Here's your paperwork, make sure to stop at the desk on your way out and then you're free to go. If it gets worse come back and just try not to go Mike Tyson on anyone before it heals."
"Thanks," Finn replied with a nod at the doctor and slipped around the curtain. He stuffed the prescription into his pocket. If he couldn't take it with alcohol he had no intentions of filling it; drinking would do the trick just fine for him. And drinking againwas exactly what he wanted to be doing as he stood at the front desk of the ER and impatiently waited for the clerk to finish his insurance paperwork.
"Finn? You look like hell." Said a vaguely familiar, surprised yet sure voice call out his name.
His mind couldn't move fast enough to place the voice before his head turned out of instinct. And when he saw the person attached to the voice that had called his name, well it was the last person he'd ever have expected to see and she was standing there in front of him very pregnant with her mouth hanging open in surprise. He cocked his head to the side as his eyes widened at the sight of her.
"Quinn."