X. Bury it in my skin

A/n: Thank you for your reviews and support. With these two, it's like always so difficult. I hope you will enjoy it nontheless.

X. Bury it in my skin

The air around me felt like a cage, like if I was being trapped and exposed to the world at the same time, and it made me feel anxious. Numerous panic attacks had almost happened. Or maybe they happened and I just tried to ignore the problem I had been diving in recently. The school started and I couldn't see Naruto during the day anymore, exams were just behind the corner and he spent a lot of time in the library, to my own surprise. But every night I would come home to his smiling face, like if nothing ever happened, but behind his smiles and behind his blue eyes, I could see a tornado of emotions that he tried to hide, I was positive it was because of me. Either he didn't want to make me feel even worse than I already did, or he just pretended to be okay with everything he actually wasn't. Nonetheless, it made me sad. I couldn't see the happy swirls or the shimmery oceans depths in his gaze anymore and it was my fault. Somewhere along the way, I decided to make him smile again, vividly and honestly. I hated those people who had taken him for granted, but in the end, I wasn't any different from them, I had been using his kind heart just as much as any other scum he had met in his life. So I made to do list and pinned it above my bed, I was kind of ashamed of it, so I used secret language - merely making little sketches to know what I had in mind - so that Naruto wouldn't be able to see it was about him. And I started this journey. It was tough at first, I didn't know how to accomplish certain things, for example how to be kind to people. I even tried to smile more, but in the end, it was a total loss and I couldn't do anything but to let go of that point in my head. I wanted to be a better version of myself, but I ended up being weird instead. Of course, Naruto noticed.

"Hey, can I ask you something?" He asked me one evening, when I was busy with my homework for history class, I looked up from the screen of my laptop and rose a nonexistent eyebrow at him, he eventually continued. "You've been acting a little weird lately, you know. I get it you're not in a good mood or anything, but it seems something's bothering you even more than before? And we haven't talked much since the Christmas break. I'm worried about you." I didn't break the eye contact until the end of his speech, just then my gaze dropped back to my homework.

"I don't want to talk about it, I'm fine."
"Gaara…" He whispered, almost pleadingly.

"Naruto." I muttered bitterly.

And I thought this would do the work and he would shut up, because I, obviously, didn't want to talk about anything that included my feelings. He knew, but tried it every now and then. I stopped paying attention to him, digging myself in the work, so I would forget about everything again. It still pained me and I wanted to forget. Just forget. Thinking I might be able to change something in this fucked up situation, was naive and at least very stupid. He noticed something was wrong and all I was left with was his sad expression, because he still cared. I hated myself. Just few minutes had gone by and Naruto stood up from kitchen chair, making his way towards me, slowly, as if he was scared or uncertain. I continued in my work, ignoring him completely. He halted right beside me, the proximity was addictive, words in my laptop blurred, and suddenly I couldn't concentrate on anything but his warm presence, which poured upon my body with hot vibrations that had been shaken my knees. I closed my eyes and got up, I wanted to escape. To escape him. I pretended that he wasn't there, but my efforts had been broken by his warm touch on my wrist. I frowned.

"Naruto, let me go." My voice didn't have enough strength to sound deadly, it was rather tired, sad. And he, as always, knew all that very well. I tried to pull myself from the grip, but he just drew me closer to him and turned me toward him. My butt met the corner of the desk, and my chest was shaking with an uncontrollable pain that grieved right behind the ribs.

"I don't wanna see you like this. Suffering." He muttered to me vigorously. "I do not."

"So don't look at me and you'll be alright." I mumbled between my teeth and for some incomprehensible reason, I grasped his shirt, digging my fingers into the fabric. I wanted so much to be closer, but the proximity was so scary that I'd rather run away. Because being alone was safer than to surrender to his terrifying optimism that I would destroy by nature. "Just do not look."

I could feel butterflies in my stomach, as if they tried to fly out of my body to the surface.

My heart was pounding heavily, my breath crawling in my throat, all the while Naruto seemed to be balanced and perfectly calm. And his eyes were comforting like a mug of hot tea in the deepest time of the winter. He smiled at me, but this time it wasn't goofy or energetic, nor it was sheepish. His smile was omniscient and comprehending, almost as if he was trying to expel all my demons by that one act, and to assure me that his closeness was not dangerous.

"I won't." He whispered and leaned closer, hugging me tightly. I could feel his heartbeat bumping against my temple, his rapid breathing ruffling my hair a little. And I realized he wasn't calm at all. He was nervous. "Because I will clean all that mess you have in your heart. And I will replace it with care and understanding. I won't let you suffer ever again. I promise." He added, softly caressing my back. And just when I was falling completely apart, he was there to collect all my broken pieces and glued it together. He was right there to fix me, even though I had been taking him for granted all this time, he never left my side and stayed by me. I was incredibly, dangerously and undoubtedly in love with him and I couldn't stop it. He hugged my body and touched my heart, leaving all but hot sensation in my limbs. Boring myself into his shirt, I shivered at the touch he was giving me. He smelled like a wild meadow, where plants danced in the summer breeze, he smelled like ocean and his laughter was too much to take, vibrant and sunny. Only he could laugh with his very soul, revealing everything and nothing in the sound. He held me close for a while and I didn't run away this time. Because this time was different. The anxiety of exposing myself slowly drifted away, though some of it was still present in my chest, but I tried to ignore that.

He buried his presence deep into my skin.

That was the second time I met Naruto with heart wide open.

Suddenly, I was remembering his hands roaming on my body, playing with my skin like if it was an instrument, making a melody out of my moans. I was struck by a wave of heat when Naruto stroked my back again, and though his touch was innocent, my thoughts ran far beyond the mountains of obscenity. I slowly raised my head and realized Naruto was looking at me. I didn't know what moved me to the act. I didn't know what was going on with my head as my palms slowly wandered up his chest. His hands were copying my motions and slid down to my loins, where everything stopped. The fabric of my shirt rolled up in some places, and Naruto's hot fingers pressed against my bare skin. He was everywhere. For a short moment, he filled the hole in my soul, and I felt a shot of lust. As if he knew the silent change that had occurred in me, he'd closed the distance between us and silently whispered, before he dived into my world. "Have no regrets." His warm breath caressed my face so tenderly I had to close my eyes. I didn't respond to his request in any way, because a lightning had struck down my body so sharply, that I shuddered when his lips finally touched my own.

It wasn't my first kiss, but it was by far the best one. I was fooling myself if I said I didn't expect what was coming the moment we kissed. Naruto was careful with me and I was fragile, so when he gently pressed his lips to mine, it felt almost like an innocent peck. First few were simple like that, but then, by degrees, and gradually, the kiss deepened. Naruto slowly coaxed my mouth open with his tongue, and I realized I let him in without any hesitation. Then his hands began to roam on my body, as if he didn't know how to place them. His kiss was like a sweet drug and I was getting addicted again, because there was just something about the way his tongue moved in and out of my mouth that nearly turned me to putty. This slow and steady kiss he was giving me, seemed to make time stop. It all felt unreal, a kind of daydream blurring the lines between the true and false, which I couldn't figure out just yet. He was offering me sweet sweet oblivion and I gladly accepted it, but only when his fingers came across my crotch, he stopped and looked at me. And suddenly I was drawn from my imagination into the harsh reality.

"Allow me." Naruto pleaded, however there wasn't really a question in his voice, nor was it a request. He destroyed the kiss and while he made sure to look me in the eyes, I looked away, my cheeks burning like crazy, and all I could manage to do, was nod. It seemed to be enough for him to continue, because suddenly his lips were on mine again, and I felt his fingers undoing my fly. His tongue returned to my mouth and nearly drove me insane, because the kiss was becoming more fast-paced, more passionate, more urgent and wild – and so was my heartbeat as the blond finally undid my pants and slipped his hand onto my bare skin. I moaned and arched my back a little, when he firmly grasped my penis. I was about to explode just by that sensation and I probably would've had, if it weren't for that stupid someone who rang on our doorbell. We both yanked and froze in the place. Naruto held his breath, his hand in my pants, his eyes locked with mine. I desperately wanted him to continue, but I couldn't move, and when the doorbell rang again and again, Naruto let go of me and went to check out who it was. Meanwhile, I tried to find my composure again, the sting of reality had came to me and I was losing my control again. What have I done? Was all I could think of. But the fiery touch remained on my skin long after Naruto's hands were gone.

The blond had returned after several minutes just to tell me it was for me. It surprised me a little and as I proceed to the entrance, Naruto's saddened gaze followed me. When I opened the door, I saw Kankuro's crying face and I understood something bad happened, but before I could ask, he told me.

"Temari had an accident, she… she couldn't make it. She's gone, Gaara." Kankuro's voice shattered like glass and crumbled into small pieces, and so did my world. A steady breeze found its way to our home, slowly caressing my locks of hair.

/

Later on, when Kankuro left our apartment, Naruto stayed by my side, trying to cuddle me in my bed, even though I kept telling I was fine, but he told me he couldn't be sure. Truthfully, I wasn't fine at all and he noticed. If it weren't for him, I don't know what would have happened with me that night. I buried all my desire deep in my skin and before I could do anything about myself, I was crying.

Naruto could be really stupid, and clueless, and even childish or goofy, but he didn't give up on me. He never once gave up on me.

A/N: Here it is! I wanted them to kiss for so long and now, it just clicked. It seemed right for me, so hopefully you enjoyed it as much as I did. And yeah, I know someone interrupted them, but I really want to drive them crazy first. It's currently three o'clock in the morning, so if there are any mistakes, please let me know. :)