I don't own Hetalia!
I don't own My Messed Up Life!
I don't own Issa, Josh, Zack, Renae, Sydney, Alex, Rin, Harvey, Dimah, etc.!
Go! BWAH
YAY, QUICK UPDATE~~!
Recap
Russia says, "She said something about a sister. If you have her, why don't you let her go? It is so much more fun to try to see them run away before we crush them," Russia suggested.
Germany seemed to think about it for a while.
Then, he casually walked to the door and locked it.
I begin to tremble slightly.
"I have a better idea," he says while pulling out a gun and pointing it at us, "Why don't you hand over the spy wear?"
Present
I stood, petrified, as a figure emerged from the shadows and pointed toward the rose upon my green shirt.
Timidly, I unpin the camera, and place it in Japan's hand, along with the ear-bud, and Russia copies my actions.
"Thank you," Germany says mockingly as he places the gun in his pocket and finds some rope to tie my hands with.
Suddenly I realize exactly who was tying me up, and my French side starts to show.
"Bondage, much?" I grin slyly when Germany pauses, then growls angrily and continues with a bit more force.
Finally he finishes tying my wrists, and I stare at the fact he didn't take my bracelet.
Apparently I'm not as unlucky as I thought I was…
I am then separated from Russia and dragged into a room, thrown in, and had the door locked behind me.
I await my silver-haired rescuer, from whom I heard would appear eventually.
While I am imprisoned, I decide to sing.
"Sekai de, ichii-ban ohime-sama~!" I recite the only lyrics of 'World is Mine' by Hatsune Miku, before getting bored with that song…
"I'm AWESOME!" I shout, flailing slightly from the place I sat—the corner of the nearly-bare room.
After a long while filled with boredom, singing and hopelessness, I end up slowly slipping into pure madness.
Or, maybe, I just got hungry…
Either one works, y'know?
I glared at one of the four camera's I'd discovered after using my teeth, along with much rolling around and painful arm-twisting, to untie the rope around my wrist.
"OI! Potato Jerk! I'm hungry! I want food without drugs, if you'd be so kind, or I'll use a secret weapon on you!" I shout, using my best Romano accent—which was, sadly, very pathetic.
Oh, no, I can do an Italian accent just fine, I just have trouble making my voice deep like Romano's. ._.;
Not long after, Japan comes in, carrying a plate of wurst and mashed potatoes—I stand and bow to him.
He may be in the wrong crowd at the moment, but he's still Japan, and frickin' awesome. :3
"If I may ask, what is your secret weapon?" He inquires.
"MY MOOSTACHE OF DOOM!" I had scratched against my finger until it turned red, and it looked like a moustache, and I raised the finger below my nose.
Japan gave off a very slight smile, and I grinned, and he left.
…I wonder how much Issa and England are worrying about me?
I've lost my two-way contact and now they can only see and hear what I'm doing…
To be honest, I'm terrified out of my wits.
I let my emotions show as I sit on the bed, and curl into a ball, raising my bracelet to my lips and hide my face as I whisper into it.
"I'm alright. If you're worrying, don't. I'll continue my mission of world domination later…" I begin to shake my shoulders, feigning tears to the cameras glaring at me from each of the room's corners.
"If you can hear me, Russia has been separated from me. Someone contact Romano. Tell him his brother is in danger. See what happens, when he finds out it's the potato jerk's fault…I'd love to see him in person…" I make an odd, England-when-he's-being-awkward kind of face as I laugh a hiss-like laugh.
You, girl. Lauren.
My head jerks upward as I look around.
When I see nothing, I go back to my communications with my wrist, and am soon interrupted again.
Pay attention when I am speaking to you!
I look up again and see nothing, but this time, I definitely heard something…
Then I notice the faint outline of something sitting on my bed's end.
It's slightly small, but not really…
"T-teacup?" My voice cracks.
Yes.
This isn't what I need right now…
I've heard nothing from Teacup since I…
But…
"Why did you come back?" I ask, feeling the stare of the cameras as my voice raises slightly.
Because you're being stupid. This Issa girl doesn't deserve your loyalty.
I glare at the indent on my bed as a very faint outline of a sleek feline begins to materialize.
"She does so!" I retort angrily, remembering to stay in character as my voice keeps rising.
Then why isn't she saving you?
"Because I just got here!"
Right.
"You just got here, too, didn't you?"
…Maybe.
I lower my voice again as I finally see the cat materialize in front of me, red eyes glaring into my own brown-turned-blue ones.
"Was it you who brought me back?"
…
"Tell me!"
…Yes. If you die, I do too. I can't live without you…and I mean it strictly literally.
Teacup raises his nose at me, but I reach out to pet him.
I feel his fur as much as any real fur, because Teacup is real…
To me.
"Thanks, then…"
I had to save my fur.
"Right."
…Shut up.
"You started the conversation."
Whatever.
"Question. Do you have nine lives?"
Eight, now, thanks to your stupidity.
"YOU TOLD ME TO DO IT!" I roar, still imitating Issa almost unconsciously now.
Shut your face, woman! That *beep* German is coming!
"Watch your mouth, you idiotic—" I stop mid-sentence when the blonde I now loathe enters the room.
"Who are you talking to?" He demands loudly, glaring around the room as I shrug.
"I talk to myself…" I respond, and soon, I find myself pinned by my neck to the bed's front.
"DON'T PLAY GAMES WITH ME, ISSA! WHO ARE YOU COMMUNICATING WITH?"
"If you gotta know, potato-breath, I'm talking to my guardian angel, Lauren." I respond, smiling slightly and waving to the cat preparing to strike the German's hind.
And…
SLASH.
Germany howls in pain as he jumps away.
"VERDAMMT! WHO WAS THAT?" He turns around, glaring at a speck of dust, and I feel Teacup going back into my head and giving me some anger to use to my advantage.
I keep my mouth shut in silent defiance, and Germany pulls a blade from his pocket, preparing to give me another scar—a real one, this time.
"Tell—me—who—did—that—or—I'll—" He fails to finish his sentence as I pull a Romano and head-butt him in the gut.
He drops his blade and coughs violently for a minute, but when he calms down, I realize that I failed in my decision of valor.
"You little…!" He fails again to make a coherent sentence, but he stomps out, leaving his blade in his anger.
Once again I am lucky!
I grab the weapon and stuff it down my shirt before Germany could reach the camera room or whatever, and Teacup reappears, grinning like the Cheshire—oh, nevermind…
I resume my boredom as the imaginary cat stalks around the room.
=x=
At the Team Issa HQ (XD)
Issa's POV
=x=
I watch with horror as the cameras placed upon Russia and Lauren's chest suddenly shake, come loose, and are willingly handed to Japan.
"No!" I shout, making the ear-bud on the other end vibrate violently.
"Calm down! She still has the secret one!" Iggy says.
I look at the middle screen and realize that he is correct.
It's shaky, but we can still see and hear what happens…
Well, we could, until Germany tied Lauren's hands together behind her back where the only view was her hind.
France was happy about that.
Suddenly—
"Bondage, much?"
"I 'AVE TAUGHT HER WELL! OHONHONHON~"
SMACK.
The camera on the bracelet shook a little harder as I paid attention to it instead of the comical nations.
Lauren was lead into a room, shoved in ungracefully, and the door clicked behind her.
After a large amount of grunting, rolling, camera-quakes, and assorted other noises and motions, Lauren's camera was free.
After a few minutes of silence, suddenly—
"Sekai de~ Ichii-ban ohime-sama~! …."
"I'm AWESOME!" I saw Austria glare at the screen, irritated with Lauren's choice of words.
After a while of nothingness, besides a bit more singing (mostly Evanescence songs), Lauren shouts, "OI! Potato jerk! I'm hungry!" And other nonsense, but the word 'weapon' caught all of our ears.
Moments later, Japan rushes in and Lauren stands; her bracelet shakes, indicating movement, and when Japan bowed, I guessed that she had as well.
Well, I guess my ridiculous friend is going to blow the whole operation with her fangirl spasms…
Knowing this, I facepalm.
I don't even want to know what would happen if she meets Spain…or Romano.
Poor nations.
"If I may ask, what is your secret weapon?" I hear Japan say, smooth voice scratchy through the microphone quality.
"MY MOOSTACHE OF DOOM!" Lauren shouts, and suddenly the camera jerks upward, revealing Japan's face—they seem to be either the same height, or close…pfft.
Lauren's short! X3
A few minutes later, the camera shakes again, and is consumed by darkness—some of us assume the worst, but I listen closely for any sound indications—suddenly—
"I'm alright. If you're worrying, don't. I'll continue my mission of world domination later… If you can hear me, Russia has been separated from me. Someone contact Romano. Tell him his brother is in danger. See what happens, when he finds out it's the potato jerk's fault…I'd love to see him in person…" The darkness is moved as her shoulders do, and the scariest face I'd seen on Lauren's (or my, I guess) facial features flashes on the screen.
I do worry about her, and no, not (just) her sanity.
I told her not to go, and if she gets hurt, I'll feel responsible.
What if Germany finds out that she's taken my place?
That won't be pretty…
It worries me, also, that I can't talk to her back.
I can only sit back and watch as she sticks her neck out…for me.
She began laughing with a kind of hiss-type noise behind it…then, suddenly, she begins talking to something else.
"T-Teacup?"
Pause.
"Why did you come back?" She sounds troubled, and slightly irritated, though still in character.
Pause.
"She does so!" An indignant tone crosses her imitation of myself.
Another pause.
"Because I just got here!" Irritation.
Pause.
"You just got here, too, didn't you?" Skeptical tone.
Pause.
"…Was it you who brought me back?" A suspicious tone.
Silence.
"Tell me!" Anger.
A long, silent pause.
"…Thanks, then." Grateful quietness.
Pause.
"Right." She elongated the word—more skepticism.
Silence.
"You started the conversation." Smugness.
Another pause.
"Question. Do you have nine lives?" Curiosity.
A short pause, and suddenly, she was enraged again.
"YOU TOLD ME TO DO IT!" She roared, angrier than I'd ever seen her—and I saw her when France eated her cookie…
I had no idea that someone's arm could twist so far back. o3o;
"Watch your mouth, you idiotic—" Suddenly the door slams open, and Lauren jumps back.
"Who are you talking to?"
"I talk to myself…" She was being honest—I've heard her muttering darkly to herself sometimes in corners.
The camera shakes violently, and then is still, but the only thing it shows is fluff and white—a pillow.
"DON'T PLAY GAMES WITH ME, ISSA! WHO ARE YOU COMMUNICATING WITH?"
"If you gotta know, potato-breath, I'm talking to my guardian angel, Lauren."
I facepalm.
Suddenly, Germany jumps away from Lauren as she raises her camera to show us…
Germany's rainbow boxers. e_o
"VERDAMMT! WHO WAS THAT?"
Germany pulls a blade from his pocket, preparing to give Lauren a scar identical to mine.
"Tell—me—who—did—that—or—I'll—"
Suddenly the camera shakes violently again.
Another anguished cry from the German…
Lauren…what did you do?
"You little…!" Germany could honestly not make a coherent sentence as he began to cough violently.
Germany stomps out of the room Lauren was trapped in, and suddenly, the camera reaches down for the dagger Germany had conveniently left in his rage.
Lauren…stuffs it down her shirt…
A trickle of something warm began flowing over my shoulder, and I glance back to see that France had a bit of a problem with his nose.
"Onhonhonhon~!" He laughed, making a face similar to that of Lauren's earlier 'world domination' face.
As soon as the green fabric was there, it was gone again, and the camera shuddered and revealed Lauren's lips.
"I swear, Francis, if you think anything about that, I'll get another corn cob specially for you," She hisses, and France stops Onhonhon-ing.
"W-wha—" England sputters.
"Don't ask," I reply dully, watching as Lauren goes back to curl up on her bed.
"My hands hold safely to my dreams…clutching tightly, not one has fallen…so many years, I've shaped each one…reflecting my heart, showing who I am. Now you're asking me to show, what I'm holding oh-so-tightly..can't open my hands, can't let go…does it matter? Should I show you? Can't you let me go…?" She sang with a pitiful excuse for a smile, her brown—er, blue—eyes closed in content.
I smiled, but suddenly stopped when I realized a tear was running from her eye.
"What have I gotten myself into…?" She mutters to herself with a laugh, barely audible.
The door bangs open, and Lauren jumps up, causing the camera to shake again.
She uses the arm the bracelet was on to wipe the tears away from her face, and glares at the intruder—I jump in surprise.
"I have arrived! I AM AWESOME!"
A girly squeal emitted from the speakers—though from who, I'm not…entirely sure… o.o
Ve~
Chaptah….this number…is complete!
Review's replies, starting from the beginning of the whole thing!
CelticGirl7: Yeah, my mind is weird like that. :3
Memoranda: Veh~ Thank yuuuu~
Memoranda(2): Thank yuuu! Again! I love you, too! (Like a sistah. :3) Veh!
CelticGirl7(2): Hola~! *Churros, no?*
CelticGirl7(3): Muahaha! I got the FaceBook thing from a motivational poster. It's Japan shoving a book at Italy's face, and it says, "FACEBOOK: you're doing it wrong." X3 Fankyew, I love it too~
Memoranda(3): Well, grammatical errors aside, it's mah pleasure to help…and write. I love writing. This Lauren is so fun to write. X3
GermanRainbows: Yay! We're so awesome! :D France-and-Russia-glomping-Laurens-with-brown-hair-and-eyes UNITE! X3
GermanRainbows(2): Fankyew X3
CelticGirl7(4): Ve~ The song makes me sad, and yet I love it~~~ Just like this one movie that I watched, it was like, so, AWESOME! (GO POLAND) Fankyew~ :3
Caset290: Fankyew. I quite like it when I'm Prussian. (Signed, Lauren) XD Thanks, seriously. Here's a cookie. *insert virtual cookie of awesome cookie-ness here*
Memoranda(4): I love it too! :D
CelticGirl7(5): *High five* YESH! Hehe, I agree. Lauren and Dimah are quite adorable…that's my new Hetalia OTP. DimahxLauren! :D Before, it was HRExChibitalia...because who can resist the cute?
Memoranda(5): VEH! I'm Prussian, see, Iggy? *epically pokes England* I win! X3
Caset290(2): Holy churros, that's scary… o3o It's creepy to me when I'm half asleep and suddenly my cat jumps up onto my bed and scares the living daylights out of me. XD
Memoranda(6): Lol, we all love Mattie. But you can haz, I has Dimah. X3 *Onhonhonhon*
CelticGirl7(6): I love karaoke, too. X3 …Four words: America. Singing. Tik. Tok. …and another three: Fairy. Princess. America. (Look up the 'Spain's Influence' comic, I think…it'll all make sense then. XD
CelticGirl7(7): Veh, it's hard not to be Memoranda's friend. She's just too awesome to not have friends. o3o I would, too. I'd be like, "OMG!" But, I'd have it be the Bad Touch/Friends Trio. ;D Love the Spain! X3 SPAAAAAAIN. (Sorry. Feeling Spanish lately. Fusososo~)
CelticGirl7(8): Fankyew. It is quite adorable to see Iggy and Lauren be all like, "whee, we're British! Fear our cooking and tsundere-ness!" I'm glad Mem-chan isn't actually hurt. X3 If she ever did, I'd stop her supply of Canadians.
Memoranda(7): Speaking of the Canadians in the above message, I was at an amusement park today, and in the parking lot there was a car from Ontario. MATTHEWWWW~ *Russian-face* Why so small, Latvia? Da. ^J^ *Brick'd*
Luna's Insanity: Fankyeewwww~ The sadness puts depth to the character, and I'm glad I did that because if I didn't she'd be a Mary-Sue. And that would make Mr. Biggles upset. (And when Mr. Biggles gets upset…people DIE! XD just kidding.) I owe you a oneshot now. :3
CHURROS TO ALL OF YOU! :D