The Extra Smashy Amazing Race: Season Two

by Ripper22

Season Two! 11 teams set out on a quest around the world! Action, humor and crack! In the double length finale, the remaining teams finally return to Smashville, where the whole race began ... Once there, they find themselves in a desperate three-way battle for the million. There are three teams but only one team can win. WHO WILL WIN THE MILLION? COMPLETE!

10. Elevenths Day

"Last time, on the Extra Smashy Amazing Race, teams went to the communistic-driven Dream Land! It was here teams experienced harsh tasks in terrible weather!

"You know, the weather is actually quite marvelous," continued Jigglypuff in a posh British accent, outside the car rain was pouring, obscuring the vision of the road in front of them.

"Ness had the idea to book the only flight time to Dream Land, but at a terrible cost - all the racing money he and his team mate had!

"Can I have as many tickets it takes to book the 6:05 AM flight, real employee?" asked Ness casually.

"...Much to the annoyance of other teams!"

"Can we have two tickets for 6:05 AM flight?" asked Lucario to the airport worker.

"Sorry, sold out," said the worker. "We just booked out about four minutes ago."

"In the mean time, Falcon and Ganondorf hitched a ride from an former racer!"

"Give me a minute to savor the flavor, then I'll get you two to Dream Land in a jiffy!" said King Dedede.

"Other former racers, such as Falco and Samus, Quinn McIntosh, & Meta-Knight, also tried to either benefit or de-benefit current racers with their actions!"

"You were the reason me and Falco were eliminated, idiot!" explained Samus angrily. "Remember leg one? Isle Delfino?"

"Wahahaha! You thought you could get rid of me, Ness? Well, think again you idiot kid!" cackled Falco evilly, rushing Ness.

"Now then, me matey, what is it you need from me?" asked Quinn, putting an arm around Mewtwo's shoulder.

"Shortly after a roadblock failure on Ganondorf's part, the frat boy destroyed Quinn's cover, causing the ferret celebrity to make an escape from the police!"

"Kirby? KIRBY? You think he's Kirby? That's Quinn McIntosh! He's just pretending to be Kirby, you idiots!" said Ganondorf angrily, showing them a picture and description of Quinn.

Quinn wordlessly bolted out the side door, and the executive manager called the cops.

"Also, Mewtwo suffered an injury to the nose, after an inter-team argument!" said Koopa.

"Out o' my way you fool," snarled Lucario, his back leg catching Mewtwo in his nose.

"Mewtwo and Lucario excelled at the Roadblock, and managed to stay ahead of all the other teams, which kept them in first for most of the leg. However, in their haste, they made a major screw-up on the final task before the pit stop!"

"Here you go guys," said Lucario, putting in only half of their money.

High-pitched string music played, as they took the next clue and read aloud.

"And they were rejected upon reaching the pit stop, forcing them to backtrack to the task and try again!"

"Here you go, ungrateful bastards," said Lucario, putting in the money and spitting in an orphan's eye.

As they were walking out, Mewtwo uncharacteristically flipped the bird to them.

"And because of the twin's huge error, this allowed Roy and Snake to creep into first place for the first time since the race's early days, leg three!"

"Team Roy and Snake, you are the second team to arrive," said Koopa. "But because Mewtwo and Lucario forgot to give all their money to the orphanage, you are team number one!"

"While Mewtwo and Lucario wrecked their first jeep in an epic crash with the father and son, they took a second jeep, ruining the odds for whomever would be in last at that point!" explained Koopa. "Meanwhile, backpacking team Ness and Pikachu, had a flight delay for most of the beginning of the leg, leaving them in the bottom for the entirety of the leg!"

"Ah, we're finally here!" said Ness, still covered in Falco's blood.

"Halfway through the leg, Ness was separated from Pikachu after an accident, causing him to stop racing and search for his old friend!"

"PIKACHU!" screamed Ness shrilly, immediately diving into the pile to search for his lifelong friend.

"And after a long search, Ness ended up thinking the wrong Pikachu was his partner."

"Cuando estás tomando me? ¿Cuál es el significado de esto?" yelled the Pikachu, resisting Ness' grasp.

"Pikachu, what is wrong with you today? First you won't talk to me. Now, you won't shut up... but in Spanish! I didn't even know you knew Spanish!"

"Team Toon Link and Jigglypuff, the Middle School Students, struggled for most of the leg in every aspect!"

"Do you think that there's any chance we're not last?" said Toon Link morbidly.

"After a long day, it came down to the Middle Schoolers and the Best Friends facing off in order to stay in the race!"

"We're not going down without a fight!" screamed Ness, choking Toon Link.

"Ness managed to sneak ahead of the students, only to screw himself up with the same mistake the Twins made earlier!"

"What did the clue say, again?" he asked his partner. Before Pikachu could respond, Ness answered himself, "Ah, forget it, it's not important."

"And because of his marginal error, the students managed to barely stay in the race!"

"Because Ness and Pikachu failed to give all their money to the charity, you are team number four!" said Koopa with enthusiasm.

"Oh my god, I can't believe this!" screamed Jigglypuff excitedly, shaking Toon Link.

"And now, four teams Remain, Who will finally be eliminated, Tonight?"

The Teams: (With their New Year's Resolutions!)

Falcon and Ganondorf (Get a girlfriend... no one is going to find out, right?/To win this race)

Roy and Snake (To win this race/To win this race)

Mewtwo and Lucario (Find a way to impress my brother/To win this race)

Toon Link and Jigglypuff (Find a way to end it all/Lose weight and start working out)

"Can Mewtwo and Lucario overcome their hatred for each other in time to stay in the race? Will Toon Link and Jigglypuff recover from their huge time gap from the other teams? Is Roy and Snake going to accept their age differences in time to stay in to win? And can Falcon and Ganondorf continue to work together as a team and respect one another just long enough to win the million?"

"This is Whispy Woods Forest, the tenth pit stop in the second season of The Extra Smashy Amazing Race! Teams arrived here at the end of the last leg for a mandatory rest period, where they can eat, sleep, and mingle with the other teams!"

"Donuts for everyone!" called out some Waddle Dee production manager, waving the racers to him.

"One of the four teams will finally be eliminated!" explained Koopa, "The other three may go on to the 12th leg and Race for the Million dollars!"

The Waddle Dee died in the following stampede, the current racers running him over in a frenzy for the glazed donuts.

"Will Roy and Snake's age differences aid them or hinder them, therefore getting them eliminated after coming this far?"

Snake held the donuts out of reach for everyone else, cackling evilly as he ingested a donut.

"Is Mewtwo and Lucario's way of predicting each other's mannerisms and behaviors going to keep them in the mix, or destroy them?"

Lucario kicked Snake between his legs, and stole a donut for himself. Mewtwo timidly grabbed one.

"Are Falcon and Ganondorf going to keep on respecting one another and keeping a 'work hard, play hard' routine long enough to win, or will they fall short just before the finish line?"

Falcon used Falcon punch on Mewtwo, and ate the little bit of the remaining donut.

"And finally, can Toon Link and Jigglypuff, especially Toon Link, put aside his feelings in time for his team to stay in the race or will they crumble from the pressure?"

Jigglypuff's eyes turned red, and she tackled Toon Link and started beating the living tar out of him.

"Team Roy and Snake, who were first to arrive at 1:21 PM, will depart at 1:21 AM!" finished Koopa.

Roy and Snake
1st to Depart; 1:21 AM

"We're first out again for the first time since leg three!" said Roy with pride dripping from his tone.

Snake ripped open the clue and read it aloud, "Fly to Sinnoh, the land of Pokémon, and find Professor Rowan!"

"Teams must now fly to Sinnoh, the Pokémon land, home to current racers Mewtwo and Lucario. Upon arriving, teams have to walk to Sandgem Town and find Professor Rowan! These flights are fifteen minutes apart, so any time gained could be vital in booking tickets to Sinnoh!" explained Koopa.

"Ohhh, this bad, real bad." said Snake, shaking his head. "Mewtwo and Lucario know that place like the back of their hand...s!"

"You have 115 dollars for this leg of the race." finished Roy, dumping the money into his outstretched hand.

Roy

"What the big deal about this, is it's the second-tae-last leg before we have th' grand finale, and Ewton an' Lucado have home field advantage!" explained Roy, looking annoyed.

Roy and Snake
Father and Son

"So it's come down to the eight of us," said Snake, looking menacing, "After ten pit stops, only us are left."

"The only teams tae win legs, besides the lawyers," mused Roy, "But enough reflecting on the ould past, we need to make shore we make it to the final leg!"

"Right then. You hail a taxi, I'll call the airport for our tickets," said Snake, walking off.

Snake

"Probably the greatest feat of mine would be the time I conquered an entire Pakistan enemy base and shot some self-righteous Taliban leader right in his freakin' forehead," said a smug Snake.

Roy and Snake
Father and Son

"Could you repeat the flights again?" queried Snake to the phone.

"There are four flights to the Sinnoh region, one of them, the earliest, departs at 10 AM exactly, the others fifteen minutes apart." explained the flight worker.

"Good, is there a way you could book the first flight for us?" asked Snake.

"You'd have to come down here and buy them personally," explained the worker. "Though one thing that could suit your interests woul-"

Snake hung up the phone, right as Roy walked up.

"We have to buy tickets personally, it's the only way," told Snake to his father.

"Then let us depart, before the other teams appear." decided Roy.

The two racers turned to see the psychics, Mewtwo and Lucario standing on the racing pit stop mat, the former waving, and the latter flipping the bird at them.

"OH SH-"

"Calm down, you guys still have eleven minutes to leave," placated Mewtwo.

Snake took a deep breath of relief, "Oh, okay, good then. I was about to really sh-"

"Ten minutes," corrected Lucario.

Snake began laughing nervously as he did a 360 and immediately started sprinting the opposite way.

Mewtwo and Lucario
Nine Minutes until Departure

"Do you think they're going to make it to the finale with us?" asked Mewtwo.

"Probably. I can picture them there for sure." agreed Lucario.

"Say, we never found out if the kids were eliminated," noticed Mewtwo.

"Don't bother, and don't worry about it, it'll just mess with our minds." sighed Lucario.

Roy and Snake
Father and Son

"You know, this is really starting to remind me of the first season in that conflict between the Martial Artists, and the Hocotate Employees when they both thought that them and the other team was going to be in the finale, and then they ended up having to fight each other in order to stay in!" said Snake excitedly.

Roy was too busy paying the taxi driver to listen to Snake's rantings.

Snake

"I'm a big TSAR fan. Name something, and I could explain it or tell you about a previous team!" said Snake, barely containing the excitement in his voice. "Probably my favorite leg ever would be in that one footrace between the Dating Pokémon and the Accountants in order to proceed to the finale! Of course, probably the best team in my opinio-"

The camera cut off to another team.

Roy and Snake

"We have another five minutes to go," sighed Roy. "Looks like we need to get this done neatly."

"I have confidence we're going to stay ahead of the game!" said Snake, trying to stay optimistic.

Their taxi neared the local Dream Land airport.

Mewtwo and Lucario
2nd to Depart; 1:59 AM

"Rip open the clue, Mewtwo. It's time," said Lucario.

"No it's not, we still have ten seconds!" retorted Mewtwo, holding the clue dramatically as he checked his watch every half-second.

"By the time you rip it open and read it, it'll be time to go!" explained Lucario.

"We can't go breaking any rules on the semi-final leg, we can't afford any more mistakes!" yelled Mewtwo desperately, as Lucario tugged on the clue.

"Dude, give me the clue!" growled Lucario, as Mewtwo resisted to give him the clue. "...give it!"

The force of both twins resisting on both sides caused the envelope and clue to rip right in half, knocking both back.

"Oh swell, we're going back home," said Lucario, noticing the words 'Sinnoh' and 'flight' on his half of the clue.

Roy and Snake

"Now we're inside the ould airport, we just need tae find th' ticket booths now!" said Roy.

"Maybe this is it over here!" smiled Snake, walking over to the baggage compartment.

Snake started staring into place, unaware of his surroundings.

...

"Um, we should probably go find th' real ticket booth now," said Roy nervously, shaking his son.

Snake snapped out of his reverie, and slew the first person he saw with a hefty blow to the neck with his bare hand, killing the person instantly.

Roy slowly backed away.

Mewtwo and Lucario

"So I was thinking we could learn to actually get along this leg," continued Mewtwo. "That way we can learn how to-"

"Shut up, your voice annoys me." stated Lucario.

Roy and Snake

"Hey can we have two tickets tae the 10 AM flight?" asked Roy, handing the flight worker the money.

"Hold on one second, let me see if the flight will be open." she explained, putting aside the money.

Dramatic music began playing, as she started typing into the computer.

After a few seconds she told them the flight was still open, and handed them two tickets.

Roy and Snake
On 10:00 AM Flight

"We're on th' first flight, so we're feeling pretty safe for now," smiled Roy, showing them their tickets as they boarded their plane.

"Now all we have to do is wait." declared Snake, sitting in his plane seat.

Roy looked at the ticket number, then looked at Snake's.

"Why are our seats apart from each other?" asked Roy.

"They were the only seats that were left, quit whining and sit in your seat!" snarled Snake.

"Hey, watch your mouth, I could ground you if I felt like it, young man," warned Roy, waving a finger at Snake.

Snake immediately began cowering.

Mewtwo

"My greatest achievement would probably be the time my mom took me to go fishing and I caught that big fifteen inches red snapper. It took me about four hours to reel it in, so me and mom took shifts sleeping and reeling! It was the best experience of my li-"

Falcon and Ganondorf
3rd to Depart; 2:04 AM

"When you're drunk, things don't scare you like it normally does," explained Ganondorf, apparently sober, "Like if your car was on fire."

Some random Waddle Dee lit his car on fire.

"OH MY GOD, WHO DID THIS?" said Ganondorf with poor quality acting.

Falcon took one glance and looked the other way.

"Dish ish all soooo fun," giggled Falcon, stone drunk.

Mewtwo and Lucario

"Hey Lucario, stand still for a second, you have a piece of trash on you," warned Mewtwo, stopping everything he was doing and reaching to get the trash off his brother.

"The last time somebody touched me, I broke their neck," reminded Lucario.

"Don't worry, I'm just going to get it off you and you won't have to worry anymo-"

"The last time somebody touched me, I broke their neck," reminded Lucario.

"No it's okay, it'll just be for a second, hold on real qui-"

"The last time somebody touched me, I broke their neck," reminded Lucario.

"If you just give me one second, I-"

The same tired joke repeated several times.

Falcon and Ganondorf

"We're in the airport, so we're now finding the airport ticket booths so we can buy our tickets." explained Ganondorf.

"Yeah, we jogged the whole way so it didn't take very long." explained Falcon.

They passed by the twins, neither team noticing each other.

"You wonder if the kids got eliminated last leg?" asked Ganondorf nervously.

"Probably. I kind of hope they did because they seem like real competitors." decided Falcon.

Lucario

"What, you want to know what would be five movies I'd take if I were left on a deserted island? First of all, where would the island have a television?" said an angered Lucario.

Ganondorf

"Alien, Aliens, Predator and John Carpenter's The Thing." said Ganondorf flatly.

Falcon

"Pulp Fiction, Reservoir Dogs, Event Horizon, and... Anaconda, so I could make fun of the poor acting." mused Falcon.

Mewtwo

"Scream, Scream 2, Scream 3, and Scream 4. And my fifth choice would be Scream 5 if they make another one."

Snake

"...The hell is a movie?" asked Snake angrily.

Roy

"Forrest Gump, Saving Private Ryan, Ferris Bueller's Day Off, and John Carpenter's The Thing. Those four movies are so good, I don't need a fifth one." said a smug Roy.

Mewtwo and Lucario

"Any airplane tickets in here?" asked Mewtwo, walking into the women's restroom.

"AAHHH! GET OUT OF HERE!" screamed some random woman, beating Mewtwo with her purse.

Mewtwo was knocked unconscious from the barrage of blows.

Falcon and Ganondorf

"That must be the ticket booth, over there!" said Ganondorf, pointing across to the other side of the airport.

"Let's start running, we might just get ahead of another team if we're lucky..." stated Falcon, his partner Ganondorf already having left him behind.

Mewtwo and Lucario

Mewtwo and his partner were sitting in airport seats for no apparent reason, reading the latest Time magazine.

Mewtwo looked up just after the frat boys walked past them.

"I wonder if the frats are here already," wondered Mewtwo.

"Yeah, well you decided to start reading the latest Time magazine so you've got nothing on me." explained Lucario.

Falcon and Ganondorf

"Can we have two tickets on the earliest flight to Sinnoh?" asked Ganondorf enigmatically.

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOO" screamed Falcon. "My world record of most-beers-consumed-within-one-day was destroyed! THAT COST ME MY LIFE SAVINGS, DAMN IT!"

...

"Sorry," said Falcon sheepishly.

"Speaking of tickets, what is the earliest flight to Sinnoh as of this moment?" asked Ganondorf.

"The 10:15 AM flight," explained the ticket lady, processing their tickets.

She handed both of the tickets to them.

"Ah, damn that's hot," cursed Ganondorf, dropping his ticket.

"Ah, damn that's hot," said Falcon sexily, noticing the flight attendant for the first time.

Falcon and Ganondorf
On 10:15 AM Flight

"Come on, Falcon! We need to go ahead and get seated on our plane if we plan on getting good seats!" explained Ganondorf, dragging Falcon with him.

"I think she likes me," said Falcon dreamily, lost in some imaginative world only known to himself.

Mewtwo and Lucario

"The ticket booth, right over there." said Mewtwo disinterestedly, walking over to the same booth that Falcon and Ganondorf had been at only minutes before.

Lucario also walked up, looking exhausted for some unknown reason. Unless you were to pay for the deleted scenes, which you doubtfully would.

"Hello local plebeian," said Lucario with a fake smile. "We would like to purchase two tickets to the earliest flight straight to Sinnoh. And please hurry it up, some of us have places to be."

"We need your names, first." said the ticket lady, "The computer is malfunctioning."

Lucario looked severely peeved at the news.

"No you don't. We can just give you our IDs..." sputtered Lucario angrily, handing her the ID cards.

"I can't read these," she said. "I'm going to have to hear you two pronounce your names..."

Lucario looked indignant as Mewtwo moved him aside and went first.

"Full name or just first name?" asked Mewtwo.

"Full name." she replied.

"Mewtwo The Ultimate Life-form." said Mewtwo.

"Lucario Rukario," said Lucario, a hint of jealousy in his tone.

She processed the two tickets and handed it to the two twins.

"Thanks!" said Mewtwo, accepting the tickets gratefully.

Mewtwo and Lucario
On 10:30 AM Flight

"So we haven't seen the frat boys yet at all this leg," said Lucario wearily, "Nor whatever team that got in fourth, be it Ness or, god have mercy, the twins. I just hope it wasn't the second one."

"Me neither," added Mewtwo.

Toon Link and Jigglypuff
Last to Depart; 3:03 AM

Toon Link tore open the first clue, "Fly to Sinnoh, the land of Pokémon, and find Professor Rowan!"

Toon Link turned to Jigglypuff, adding, "Hey, isn't that where you hail from or something? After all, you are a Pokémon..."

"Nope, I hail from Johto." explained Jigglypuff. "However, current racers Mewtwo and Lucario both were born and raised in Sinnoh, so I would imagine they know just about everything about destinations and-"

"Shut up, I know!" said Toon Link angrily. He noticed the racing money in the envelope, taking the money and pocketing it. "You have 115 dollars for this leg of the race."

Snake

"The tension in this leg is astounding, which reminds me of the first season of TESAR in that one leg where in Port Town, nobody saw anybody for almost the entire leg." explained Snake in an overly-explanatory fashion.

Toon Link and Jigglypuff

"Huh, I don't think I ever said Happy Elevenths day to Ganondorf..." mused Jigglypuff.

"Does that even matter? It's January 2012, that was two months ago! Get over it!" yelled Toon Link angrily.

"Okay, okay, sheesh man," said Jigglypuff with a little (fill in the blank) in her voice.

Falcon

"I'd have to say out of the two teams, the Best Friend and the Middle Schoolers, I would say that Jiggly and Toony are the ones who are still standing. But I could be wrong after all, nobody has seen which team it was that made it last leg."

Toon Link and Jigglypuff

"Why are we walking? We have plenty of money to waste on a taxi..." whined Toon Link bad-temperedly.

"You never know," chided Jigglypuff happily, "After all, we should both know better after all those close calls!"

Several scenes of legs in the past played, all of mishaps and errors on Toon Link and Jigglypuff's parts.

Mewtwo

"Probably my greatest achievement would be in the seventh grade spelling bee. I was second place in the national Sinnoh championship. ...Man, who did I lose to, again? It's been so long... they were really short, and round and shaped like a puffball..." wondered Mewtwo aloud, thinking to himself.

Toon Link and Jigglypuff

"Alright, we're inside the airport." explained Toon Link to the camera.

"Hey! If anyone makes observations around here, it's me!" said Jigglypuff angrily.

...

"Alright, we're inside the airport." explained Jigglypuff to the camera.

"That's exactly what I said!" replied Toon Link angrily.

"That's exactly what... I said..." replied Jigglypuff wittily.

Roy

"I grew up on a farm... I never got to experience technology like you city-slickers!" cried Roy.

Toon Link and Jigglypuff

"If we're going to work as a team, I want you to get the tickets while I go to the bathroom!" explained Jigglypuff.

"How is that team-oriented? All you're doing is going to the bathroom!" said Toon Link angrily.

"I really, really gotta pee," explained Jigglypuff casually, squirming as she tried to walk over to the women's restroom.

Ganondorf

"Actually, I never really knew my grandfather... He served in a war or something. He currently lives in Argentina. At least that's what my dad told me."

...

"Ich kann Deutsch sprechen!" said Ganondorf. "That's German for 'I can speak German'..."

Toon Link and Jigglypuff

"There's no point in running, the other teams are already checked in so calm yourself." advised Toon Link, walking at regular pace.

Jigglypuff didn't hear him, and simply continued running very dramatically towards the ticket booth.

Lucario

"So what if we have different last names? What's it to you?" said an envious Lucario, barely able to keep a level tone.

Toon Link and Jigglypuff
On 10:45 AM Flight

"We got our tickets for our flight!" said Jigglypuff with extreme enthusiasm.

"What was the point of almost breaking my back in two with your pathetic antics and using me as a stool just to talk to the flight lady?" questioned Toon Link angrily, gripping his back in pain.

"All teams now have a flight to the Pokémon province, Sinnoh! Upon arrival, teams will have to manage their way through Sandgem town and find Professor Rowan!"

"Team Roy and Snake departed at 10 AM, and will arrive at 11 AM!"

"Team Falcon and Ganondorf who departed at 10:15, will arrive at 11:15!"

"Team Mewtwo and Lucario, whose plane departed at 10:30, will arrive around 11:30!"

"Team Toon Link and Jigglypuff, who was last to leave at around 10:45, will arrive sometime around 11:45!"

11:02 AM
First Flight Landed

Roy and Snake
Currently in 1st Place

"If wasn't so disappointed that we could be in last, I'd say we might be in last!" said Snake, smiling.

"Oh, be quiet, ye young fool," chided Snake. "Now, we need to find some guy named Professor Rowan, so be keeping a wary eye about..."

Snake was too busy looking for some guy named Professor Rowan to be paying attention to his father.

Roy and Snake
Pre-leg Interview

"The Snake family has participated in every war, since pretty much the beginning of time," explained Roy dramatically. "Most of us have died in horrible ways. Like Solid Snake's uncle, Joseph Allen, who died in the Gulf war!"

"Yeah, isn't there some other name that Snake could go by besides Solid?" asked Koopa Troopa.

"Well, there is his middle name... Solid Marco Snake..." mused Roy.

"What were you doing when you named your son? Were you under the influence or something?" asked Koopa, looking genuinely confused.

For a split second, a smile could be seen on Roy's face, but it quickly dissipated before anyone could notice.

Roy and Snake

The two racers were quietly walking through the Twinleaf airport.

It was, as usual, Roy who broke the silence.

"You know, I actually was stationed here in ould Sinnoh durin' the Bay of Window War... Me and my squad were positioned here back in-"

"Quiet, I think I see Mewtwo!" lied Snake, trying to get out of hearing another story rant from his father.

They both hid behind a trash can for the next thirty seconds.

"Oh my bad, I guess it wasn't him," chuckled Snake slyly.

Five minutes later...

"Don't go into the long grass!" warned Roy.

"And why not? We need to get to this Professor Rowan fellow as soon as possible!" explained Snake with urgency in his tone.

"Because wild Pokémon will appear!" explained an ominous Roy. "And they'll try to kill you. We need to wait until we have our own Pokémon!"

"Please explain to me why I can't just kill them with my bare fists, but instead must resort to raising stupid Pokémon to fight other stupid Pokémon when I could just kill them with, again, my bare hands?"

"Um... because... because it wouldn't be right?" queried a lost-for-words Roy.

Snake was too busy punching a Bidoof repeatedly to the face to be paying attention to what his dad was saying.

11:15 AM
Second Flight Landed

Falcon and Ganondorf
Fraternity Brothers

"We need to keep a wary eye out for any other teams we may come across..." warned Ganondorf to his dull-witted cousin.

"Dude, I'm sooo pissed, somebody actually beat my record of most-beers-consumed-within-one-day..." fumed Falcon, still angry from earlier that day.

"Dude, get over that. We have other things to concentrate on, like staying in to compete for the million dollars!" reminded Ganondorf.

"You're right, Ganondorf. I need to stop putting myself down on things that have happened in the past, and focus on what I can still accomplish!" said Falcon dramatically.

"Exactly! Now let's go-"

"Now to try and accomplish the record of most-beers-consumed-within-one-week!" cheered Falcon, already downing another beer.

Roy and Snake
Father and Son

"Hey, there's some local guy. Let's ask him directions to Sandgem town!" explained Snake wisely.

The two of them approached the man with glasses, who was standing stock-still and looking straight ahead like an idiot.

"Aye, stranger, do you know where Sandgem is?" asked Roy to the young man.

He kept staring straight ahead, as if he never heard either of them.

"Try walking past him," advised Snake.

Roy did just that, and the man kept looking straight ahead.

"Try walking up to him, and loudly yelling 'A BUTTON'..." said Snake.

Roy did just that.

"That ledge is one way. Jump down for a shortcut to Twinleaf Town..." said the man, still standing stock-still.

Roy and Snake both stared impassively at the young man, looking perplexed at his queer statement.

"Thank ye, I guess? But that's not what we needed to know. We're lookin' fer Sandgem town..."

"That ledge is one way. Jump down for a shortcut to Twinleaf Town..." said the man, still standing stock-still.

"Alright listen here you idiotic excuse of a human being, and listen good, 'cause I'm only saying this once. WHERE. IS. SANDGEM. TOWN." screamed Snake right in the adolescents' ear.

The man was too busy recovering from hearing loss and sobbing uncontrollably so he merely pointed in the path ahead.

Snake and Roy left him there.

Falcon and Ganondorf
Fraternity Brothers

The frats were still in the Twinleaf airport, looking for their bags.

"Hmmm, this appears to be in the right direction of the baggage department," mused Ganondorf cheerily, in a posh British accent.

The sign in front of him clearly read 'Women's restroom'.

"Yes, yes indeed," agreed Falcon, in a poorly done British accent.

Roy and Snake
Father and Son

"This is definitely Sandgem town," stated a bemused Snake, scratching his full-fledged survivalist's beard.

They looked at the five buildings that comprised Sandgem town, a research lab, Poke Center, Poke Mart, and three civilian houses.

"There it is, Snake. Th' research center, chances are he'll be in there." explained Roy.

"Okay, but be careful, danger or teams could come from any angle!" warned Snake. "We should walk through the back door to be safe!"

They walked around the other side of the house.

"There is no back door," observed Roy casually, noticing the lack of said back door.

"...Then we'll make a back door..." cackled Snake evilly, a huge grin across his face.

"What do you mean?" asked Roy innocently.

Snake was already in the process of planting C4 to the back wall.

"Snake, what do you mean by making a back door?" asked Roy, still confused.

Snake was pulling out the detonator and stroking it in a very arousing manner.

"Snake, what are you talking about when you say make a back door?" asked Roy, already understanding what he meant and was just saying it for funsies.

Snake detonated the wall, and in a typical Call of Duty fashion, sprinted inside in a very slow-motion, gunning down people with his handy dandy MP5, killing everyone in an epic manner.

When the dust settled, the only remaining person was a terrified Professor Rowan, who Snake had spared for racing purposes.

"What do you want, just tell me!" he moaned, scared out of his wits.

"The clue," said Snake in a dramatic fashion.

Professor Rowan handed them the next yellow clue, and scrambled back under the table and started sobbing uncontrollably.

Snake started sniffing the clue in a very weird and creepy manner, to see if it was laced with anthrax.

He then opened it and read aloud, emphasizing every word with emotion and optimism, "Teams must now choose one of four Pokémon to accompany them on their journey to become Poke masters!"

"Teams will now make a decision that will affect the rest of the leg and, possibly the race for them! They must choose one of four Pokémon: Turtwig, Piplup, Chimchar or Starly! Once they have made their decision, they must make their way to the town of Jubilife City, where the city mayor will hand them their next clue!" explained Koopa.

"Excellent," said Snake in his gravelly voice.

He looked at the four Poké balls Professor Rowan had carefully laid out.

"Which one is which?" asked Snake angrily to Rowan.

The professor pointed to the name tags on the Poké balls.

Snake looked from one to the next and carefully picked out the one that read 'Piplup'.

He threw the Poké ball against the ground in an epic fashion, but nothing happened.

"WHY ISN'T IT WORKING?" sobbed Snake hysterically.

Roy pressed the button on the front, and tossed it lightly.

The Pokémon Piplup hopped out from the Poké ball, chirping happily.

"Pssh, I knew what to do, I was just testing you to see if you knew," said Snake arrogantly.

Roy rolled his eyes.

"You are just sooo cute! I want to hug you and take you everywhere I go!" said Snake cutely, hugging the Piplup and cuddling it.

"Come on, Snake, we need to leave in case anyone else arrives soon," advised Roy, dragging his son along out the back entrance they had created.

Falcon and Ganondorf

"Okay so now we're out the airport and in the town." explained Ganondorf.

"Are you two tourists? Need a map?" asked some kind local, shaking Falcon and Ganondorf's hands.

"Actually, yes, we're on a race you see." said Falcon proudly, accepting the gifts.

The local gave them more tourist advice, then left to go help out some other people.

"Good thing we met that guy," laughed Ganondorf.

"Indeed," said Falcon, opening the map. He noticed a sign a few feet away. "Maybe that sign will help us get our bearings also!"

They approached the sign, which read, 'Twinleaf Town, fresh and free'.

"Well that's one pointless sign..." said a somewhat crushed Ganondorf, frowning.

They walked off, in the same direction that Roy and Snake had taken.

11:30 AM
Third Flight Landed

Mewtwo and Lucario
Twin Brothers

"Ahhh, it's great to be back in good old Sinnoh!" said Mewtwo cheerily, stretching his arms.

"This place still sucks," sniffed Lucario, still looking crushed from earlier.

"Maybe we could actually swing by our house during this leg..." said a bemused Mewtwo, scratching his chin. "And maybe we could visit mom."

"Yeah, whatever. Let's just do it when we know for a fact where we stand on the rankings, shall we?" asked Lucario, pushing his brother aside and walking forward.

"Okay. You call mother, while I'll be getting our bags!" strategized Mewtwo. Assuming that's a descriptive way of saying something.

When Mewtwo left, instead of calling their mother, Lucario dialed up some other number and when the person answered, began rubbing the phone in some... rather inappropriate spots.

Falcon and Ganondorf
Fraternity Brothers

"The map says we have another two miles or so until we reach Sandgem town!" said Falcon to his frat brother.

"Come on man, let's keep up this pace and we should be good!" said Ganondorf, walking slowly due to the fact his feet being stapled to the ground.

Lucario

"I was calling my girlfriend, okay?" replied a testy Lucario. "And why do you question my every decision?"

Falcon and Ganondorf
Fraternity Brothers

"Let's ask that girl for advice, the one running back and forth repeatedly in a repeated fashion while wearing a very unfitting dress," said Falcon annoyingly.

They walked up to her and, while running alongside her instead of standing still, began asking her, "Hey how much further to Sandgem town?"

"If your Pokémon's health- that's it's HP- is getting low, you should go to a Pokémon Center!" she said in a robotic droning tone.

The frat boys merely blinked.

A similar incident occured, akin to that of Roy and Snake's.

Mewtwo and Lucario

"I've got our bags." stated Mewtwo, stating the obvious with an obviousness in his tone that made it all so blasé and cliché.

"And I called mom." lied Lucario, lying with such a lyingness in his tone which made it all the more wrong and bad but still made it sound truthful.

"Alright then, let's go ahead and leave before a team decides to show up!" said Mewtwo with excitement.

Roy and Snake

"Oh boy, oh boy, oh boy oh boy oh boy," said Snake, barely able to keep in the excitement. "I cannot wait to try out my new Piplup against somebody!"

Roy followed behind his son, sighing with annoyance at his son's newfound zeal.

They continued walking through the thick shrubbery up north to Jubilife City, a good long walk ahead of them.

Snake was just about to walk forward when his vision turned black and he randomly appeared in a grass stage, with a floating text box above.

"The hell?" said Snake, confused.

A wild Bidoof has appeared!

"Um, okay... I think I can see that for myself, but thanks anyways," shrugged Snake.

"Go Piplup!" said Snake, with the text box repeating the same phrase.

"Why are you repeating what I had just said?" yelled Snake in frustration.

What will Piplup do?

"Hmm, what's something I could use?" asked Snake maliciously, stroking his man-beard.

He looked at his options, which follows: Bubble.

"I think I'll use... man, this is a hard choice... I guess I'll use Bubble then!" said Snake dramatically.

Piplup used Bubble!

The Piplup that belonged to Snake used the move and killed the Bidoof instantly.

The wild Bidoof has fainted!

"What's the point of knocking a vicious wild Pokémon out? Why not just kill it?" questioned Snake angrily.

Piplup gained 18 Exp. points!

"I don't care," said Snake simply.

Falcon and Ganondorf

"So this must be Sandgem town!" said Ganondorf excitedly, excitement showing in his excited voice, barely able to contain all the excitedness.

"Interesting," replied Falcon, stroking a fake mustache, "Interesting indeed..."

They walked inside what remained of professor Rowan's lab.

"Gee, looks like another team was here." noticed Ganondorf.

"...Snake," said both frats at the same time.

"Here's your next clue, just leave me and the town be!" whined Professor Rowan desperately, handing the pair of them the next clue.

"Teams must now choose one of four Pokémon to accompany them on their journey to become Poke masters!"

"We choose the monkey." said Ganondorf, pointing to Chimchar.

"You mean Chimchar?" asked Professor Rowan, pointing to Chimchar.

"No, we mean the Dragon with wings and a tail for fire, yes we mean him you idiot!" yelled Falcon angrily.

Professor Rowan's Charizard looked up angrily.

Mewtwo and Lucario

"Remember to avoid the idiots that are standing stock-still, they're the ones who'll fight us for no reason." reminded Mewtwo.

...

"You know what; try to avoid contact with any humans, they'll try to capture us in Poké balls like that one time when we had just returned from colle-"

"Let's try not to think of the incident with the Poké ball, okay?" asked Lucario delicately.

Falcon and Ganondorf

"I like our Chimchar, he seems fiesty." decided Ganondorf optimistically.

"I liked that Flight Attendant Samus, she seemed pretty fiesty also," said Falcon sexily.

"Yeah, I thought you would," agreed Ganondorf. "Wait... what?"

Roy and Snake
Currently in 1st Place

"There he is, the City greeter!" said Snake enthusiastically, running forward.

"Hello trainer!" said the greeter, handing them the next clue.

"Finally, we're getting to business!" laughed Snake victoriously, ripping open the clue. "Make your way inside the Poké Trainer's School, and take the Pokémon test!"

"Teams must now make their way across the city and go inside the local Poké Trainer's school, where they must take an extraneous test! Once teams have completed the test and having gotten every question right, they will receive their next clue!" explained Koopa in full detail.

"This sounds fairly easy, but let's not get too cocky," decided Roy.

11:45 AM
Last Flight Landed

Toon Link and Jigglypuff
High School Students

"We're here!" said Jigglypuff, smiling hopefully.

"This really blows, I wish we were already on the final leg!" complained Toon Link.

"Oh look, a pack of rabid wolves!" exclaimed Jigglypuff excitedly.

"Wait, what?" asked Toon Link, before being mauled alive by a pack of rabid wolves.

Toon Link

"The only reason I haven't killed myself yet is for two reasons: One, I'm still on the race, and also because there's this new series out called My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic. Once these two things are complete, I will finally do myself in and move on to a better place..." said a hopeful Toon Link, decked out in all black clothing.

Mewtwo and Lucario

"Careful: There's another person a few yards ahead," sensed Mewtwo, with his psychic powers.

Lucario gave Mewtwo a venomous look from behind when he wasn't looking.

"I wonder what rank we are... we could be in second, dead last, or even in the lead by a longshot..." said a bemused Mewtwo, the one in the lead out of his team, knowing Sinnoh by heart.

Toon Link and Jigglypuff

"Over there, by the baggage claim. There's our stuff." noticed Jigglypuff.

Mewtwo and Lucario

"There's the research center, so now we just need to find that Professor Rowan fellow and leave before people start to notice." said Mewtwo walking for Sandgem town's research center.

"Oh look, a Mewtwo!" said a bystander in awe. "...And a Lucario, or whatever it's called."

Mewtwo and Lucario were already inside the research center before other people noticed them.

"What are two Pokémon doing, bursting into my office like this?" asked Professor Rowan in confusion.

"Give us the next clue, you heathen!" warned Lucario, raising a random baseball bat in defense.

"Last time I checked, Pokémon weren't the ones in charge," laughed Professor Rowan.

"Last time I checked, you weren't an idiot," growled Lucario aggressively, giving Mewtwo the signal, who began psychokinetically thrashing Professor Rowan mercilessly.

"Ah-ha, here it is, brother!" said Lucario, picking up the clue from the ground. "Teams must now choose one of four Pokémon to accompany them on their journey to become Poke masters!"

"Why can't we personally battle ourselves?" sighed Mewtwo, "That would save us the trouble!"

They looked at the two remaining Pokémon, Starly and Turtwig.

"We'll choose Starly," decided Mewtwo, after looking in his brother's eyes for acknowledgement.

They left without another word, leaving Professor Rowan unconscious.

Toon Link and Jigglypuff

"Toon Link, are you watching that pony show again!" asked Jigglypuff worriedly, fearing his obsession of My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic.

"It is so good," said Toon Link simply, his eyes glued to the Itouch screen... literally.

"You have got to stop doing that!" added Jigglypuff, prying his face off of the screen with a crowbar.

Jigglypuff

"Toon Link's been acting really weird lately, like one minute he's acting fine and the next he spends trying to cut himself with everything!"

A shot of Toon Link trying to cut himself using a lampshade.

"He also dyed his hair black, and wears really darks clothes..." noticed Jigglypuff.

A shot of Toon Link accidentally spraying black hair dye in his eye.

"Oh, and also he's obsessed with this new TV show called 'My Little Horsie' or something... I hope it's just a phase or something, because Toony used to be a really cool guy to hang with, but now..."

Roy and Snake

"Here's the facility," noticed Roy Snake casually, as he and his son walked in.

"This is great, we need to keep this regular pace and we should be good for the rest of the leg." said Snake simply, following after his dad.

"You guys racers for that show or whatever?" asked some local. "It's in that classroom right there..."

"Thanks dude," said Snake as he and his father went and sat down in the desks.

"Here are your tests. You will have a thirty minute time-limit to finish these tests, so be sure to answer as many as you can, as quickly as you can." explained the instructor.

"Alright we got the idea." sighed Snake, taking the test and almost immediately writing down answers.

Falcon and Ganondorf

"Hey we need to keep following this trail and we should eventually end up at Jubilife City." explained Falcon to his partner.

"You know what? I honestly don't care if we are last this leg... being on this race for 2 years, 9 months and 27 days with you has taught me valuable life lessons like how to hold down your liquor, how to react to foreigners, how to read a liability waiver, and how much I dislike the kids! But most of all, it's taught me how much of a wonderful person you are, Falcon!" said Ganondorf whimsically.

"Wow, that's really sweet bro. Do you mean that?" asked Falcon anxiously.

"No," laughed Ganondorf, walking past his cousin, "That would be the dumbest thing to tell anybody!"

Falcon tried his best to hold in his tears when Ganondorf wasn't looking.

Mewtwo and Lucario

"Dude, we haven't seen anyone this leg..." muttered Lucario. "This is starting to become an epidemic!"

"I just don't want to be last, that's all I care about," added Mewtwo hopefully.

"Shut up, nobody was asking you," hissed Lucario angrily.

Toon Link and Jigglypuff

"I cannot wait for season two finale of My Little Pony," said Toon Link with gratification.

"That show is such garbage," scoffed Jigglypuff, annoyed by Toon Link's off-hand comments.

"Well it's better than that Happy Tree Friends junk you watch," snapped Toon Link.

"Hey, it's not my fault the show is so addictingly cute!" complained Jigglypuff.

Roy and Snake

"We're done with our test," announced Roy proudly, handing in their test results.

The instructor immediately noticed the lack of answers on some problems.

"You have to fill in all the answers, and get them correctly. Fortunately, you only have to correct the ones you got wrong, we don't make you do it completely over again." explained the test instructor, handing back their tests.

"Drat," muttered Snake tiredly.

Falcon and Ganondorf

"Another mile to go, and we should be there." said Falcon.

"This good, we're making good progress, let's continue to keep it up!" smiled Ganondorf.

"Agreed, fellow fraternity brother Ganondorf!" agreed fellow fraternity brother Falcon.

"Gee, if only our fellow fraternity brothers could see us now!" smiled Ganondorf.

A wavy flashback occured, one similar to the TV show 'Lost'.

"We now announce you two to be full-fledge Pika Jig Pika Frat members!" announced TBSAR's Marth, to Ganondorf and his cousin Falcon.

"Oh boy, I've been waiting for this day so long!" smiled Falcon, covered in some sort of alcohol and toilet paper.

"That sure was a weird initiation though," mused Ganondorf, scratching his beard. "Why'd you make us stand still and let the other frat boys throw alcohol at us?"

"Yeah, and then when you made us be-"

"Never mind all that," snapped TBSAR's frat boy Fox, "You are now members and don't have to be bullied around no longer!"

"Yeah, whatever." said a satisfied Falcon, "As long as I'm in a Fraternity Brotherhood!"

"Man, those were the days!" said Falcon, reminiscing back pre-race.

Mewtwo and Lucario

"If you see another team, let me know. I have something particular in mind for the next team we end up crossing." said Mewtwo.

"Alright, gotcha." agreed Lucario.

They continued to walk in silence, towards Jubilife City.

Toon Link and Jigglypuff

"We probably should be going a bit faster," sighed Jigglypuff, who was walking in the lead.

"Uh-huh, sure, whatever," said Toon Link, smiling. "I'd be moving faster, but I took an arrow to the knee..."

Jigglypuff punched him in the face.

Roy and Snake
Currently in 1st Place

"Woot, we're done already!" cheered Snake, handing in their test results.

"Time to go now," said Roy, taking the next clue dramatically and ripping it open. "You must now look for your next clue with the following hint... I am the second-tallest building in Jubilife City!"

"Teams must now search for their next clue, which will be on top of the second-tallest building in Jubilife City, the local Jubilife City TV building! Once teams reach the roof of this building, they will find their next clue!" reported Koopa from atop said roof.

"This leg is really navigationally-oriented," decided a despondent Snake after reading the clue several times.

"I have a feeling this leg is nowhere near from over." said Roy in an ominous tone.

They left the building in a hurry.

Falcon and Ganondorf
Currently in 2nd Place

"Here's the next clue, bro!" laughed Ganondorf victoriously, waving the next clue proudly for his team mate to see.

"Why are you yelling?" asked Falcon, annoyed. "I'm right here..."

"WHAT?" screamed a tone-deaf Ganondorf, right in Falcon's ear.

Falcon's eardrum exploded, knocking him unconscious from all the pain.

"Oh well. I guess I'll go ahead and read the next clue!" said Ganondorf chuckling, ripping open the envelope merrily in order to see what the clue would say.

Once he had it open, he read aloud, "Make your way inside the Poké Trainer's School, and take the Pokémon test!"

Mewtwo and Lucario

"Hey, do you hear any voices?" asked Mewtwo to his brother, hearing the frat brothers in the distance.

"Nope. You must be going crazy..." said Lucario eerily, "And if you're going crazy... I guess I'll have to put you down..."

He started loading a shotgun.

...

"Uh... what are you talking about?" asked Mewtwo nervously. "And what are you doing with that shotgun?"

Lucario continued to load the shotgun, smiling in a creepy manner.

Toon Link and Jigglypuff

"Could you be moving any slower?" asked Jigglypuff to her partner, annoyed.

"It'll take some huge, continuity error to get me moving," said a rebellious Toon Link, moving even slower at the mention of his pace.

The sound of rabid wolves could be heard in the distance.

"You know what, I think you're right!" added Toon Link, laughing nervously as he sped past Jigglypuff.

Roy and Snake

"We've got to find that clue, keep a weather eye out!" warned Roy in a gruff manner.

"Okay! I have just the thing!" said Snake, taking out a telescope.

"What the heck is that going to do?" asked Roy.

"Well we could use it to find the clue!" replied Snake with a little exasperation in his tone.

...

"You do realize we- You know what, I'm not even going to bother that one with an answer..." decided Roy.

Falcon and Ganondorf

"So where is this Pokemon Trainer's School?" wondered Ganondorf aloud.

"Hey maybe we should ask a local," voiced Falcon, looking around for one.

"Find one that looks like he knows what he's talking abou-Ouch!" howled Ganondorf, as Snake ran straight into him, knocking both of them over.

"Oh I'm so sorry, sir," began Snake, helping Ganondorf up, "I did not mean to do tha-Oh it's you!"

"How long have you two been here?" asked Falcon, as Roy just began to walk up.

"Ach, that depends, tell us first how long ye have been here!" retorted Roy, almost rudely.

"What, in this province, or in this town?" asked Ganondorf.

"Either one," sighed Roy.

"We just got to this town about five minutes ago and we have no idea what place we're in." admitted Ganondorf, crossing his arms.

"Neither do we, but at least we know we're not last," smiled Snake menacingly.

"What are you talking about? How long have you two been here?" asked Falcon curiously.

"Thirty minutes. You might want to hurry to the task, 'cause you two are probably in last..." explained Snake "It's over that way, if you must know..."

Snake told the truth; he pointed in the right direction of the next clue's destination.

"Aye, We'd best be on our way now," said Roy cryptically, dragging Snake with him.

Roy and Snake

Once the two of them were out of earshot, Roy began severely reprimanding his son, for exploiting the location of the clue.

"What in the blazes were ye thinkin', giving them th' location like that? They're just one clue away from bein' even with us, and there ye are, givin' them all the answers!" scolded Roy angrily.

"Well maybe if you understood verbal warefare better, you'd be thanking me." snapped Snake, rubbing his neck.

"What are ye jabbering about now?" asked a confused Roy.

"Think about it, it's the penultimate leg in the race... they're bound not to trust us by now... and I'm telling them the truth when they must think it's a lie..." said Snake slyly.

Falcon and Ganondorf

"I don't trust their directions," muttered Ganondorf.

"Neither do I, did you see that look Snake had after he thought we were too far away to notice?" asked Falcon angrily.

"So should we listen to them?" asked Ganondorf.

"Definitely not, I'm positive they lied," replied Falcon.

Roy and Snake

"Good work, son! We still need to find that next clue fast though, they might see through your bluff anyways!" said Roy, smiling at his son's accomplishment.

"Yeah, eventually they'll figure out I actually was telling the truth and then they might be pissed at us." figured Snake, running alongside his dad.

Falcon

"When we met up with the father and son for the first time since leg ten," explained Falcon, "Things got really tense for us. We had no idea what place we were in, but two things became frighteningly real for me: We were definitely not first, and we might have just been in dead-last."

Mewtwo and Lucario

"I don't seem to recall the walk to Jubilife City taking this long," noticed Lucario.

"That's probably because we're carrying all this unneeded equipment," explained Mewtwo.

"I don't think that's what the problem is..." said Lucario.

"Then it's probably because you're walking as slowly as possible to Jubilife City because you and me had an argument over who could walk to Jubilife City the slowest and you then made a bet with me for 15 dollars but then you changed it to 20 dollars when you realized you could actually stand a chance of beating me but then after I cancelled the bet, instead you just said 'screw it, I'm walking as slow as I can just cause I can', and you're doing just that," explained Mewtwo.

"No, I don't think that's why either," said Lucario.

"Then it's because of the equipment," explained Mewtwo.

Toon Link and Jigglypuff

"Inside there, that must be where Professor Rowan would be," pointed out Toon Link, towards the Poké Center.

"Wouldn't he be in the research lab seeing as he's a professor and that's where professors study?" asked Jigglypuff.

"Don't be an idiot, Jigglypuff! That's what they want us to think!" said Toon Link angrily, storming off into the local Poké mart instead.

Mewtwo and Lucario

"We need to be serious, brother! After all, this is the second-last leg!" explained Mewtwo.

"Yes, let us be serious so we can win this race." decided Lucario.

Falcon and Ganondorf

"We're going in the complete opposite direction that Snake told us, because he obviously lied," laughed Ganondorf.

"Yeah, we totally outsmarted them..." chuckled Falcon heartily.

Roy and Snake

"Excuse me, but which building 'round here is the second-tallest building?" asked Roy to a local nearby. "We're in a race, you see..."

"I know what building is the tallest, but not the second-tallest, sorry," replied the local boy.

"Well that's fine, what's the tallest then?" asked Roy.

"It's the Arcea Tower, it's straight ahead that way." explained the local.

"What are you planning on doing?" asked Snake.

"I'm going to look it up on the internet from some other building," outlined Roy, walking towards the Arcea Tower.

Falcon and Ganondorf

"Dude, all the building around here are pretty small compared to the ones where Snake and Roy were," said Ganondorf.

"Give up on that, bro! They were lying!" snapped Falcon angrily, continuing to run around in the same general area, looking for a fairly tall building.

"Maybe we should just check over where they happened to run into us?" queried Ganondorf.

"NO! NEVER! I'LL LOSE MY PRIDE IF IT TURNS UP THERE!" howled Falcon, digging in the grass in a futile attempt to find the clue.

"...Didn't you say that last time we got lost and couldn't find the clue?" wondered Ganondorf aloud.

Roy and Snake

"Excuse me, can we use your computer?" asked Roy.

"Sure thing." replied the worker, getting off his laptop and handing it to Roy.

"Look up the Arcea Tower on the internet, then look up second-tallest tower!" said Snake excitedly.

Roy did just that, and they got their answer, the Jubilife City TV building.

"Hey, do you happen to know where this building is?" asked Snake, pointing to the picture.

"Actually," laughed the local, "We're inside that building right now!"

Everybody laughed merrily at the ironic situation.

Falcon and Ganondorf

"Dude, why are you so afraid of just checking where Roy and Snake were at?" asked Ganondorf irritably, shaking his head. "Are you afraid of being wrong? Are you an Atychiphobiac?"

"Okay... okay fine, we can check over there," sobbed Falcon uncontrollably, picking himself up.

They walked back to where they had met the father and son.

Roy and Snake
Currently in 1st Place

"There it is at last," said Roy with gratification in his voice, reaching the roof finally.

The father and son walked through the door leading out to the roof of the building, and took the next clue.

"Detour, Grounded Down or Watered Down?" read Snake excitedly, before adding, "Warning, U-Turn ahead!"

"A detour is a choice between two tasks!" said Koopa Troopa, "Each with its pros and cons!"

"In Grounded Down, teams have to walk up north into Floaroma Town, and once there teams must pick enough berries to fill two giant baskets, and take them to a nearby shed. Once teams have done this, they must make the berries into juice using a berry-smashing machine. And finally, they must sell all of the special berry juice to locals! This is obviously the easier side of the detour, but the problem with this task is the complication of the multiple tasks!"

"In Watered Down, teams have to head west through town until they reach Canalave City, where teams have to use their boating skills to bring in one of four free-roaming buoys, all attached with the next clue! This task sounds relatively easy, however, these buoys could float into anywhere, causing quite a dilemma for the racers. Another catch is if you didn't pick the water Pokémon earlier, this task might be ridiculously hard!"

"This is the last of five U-turns on the race! A U-turn is always after a Detour, as teams who choose to use their U-Turn powers can force any team behind them to backtrack and do the task in the Detour that they did not complete! Teams may only use their U-Turn powers once in the race, so they must decide when it's most advantageous to go for it!"

"I say we do Watered Down," decided Snake finally. "Say, have we even used our U-Turn yet?"

Falcon and Ganondorf
Currently in 2nd Place

"Okay we're here now, so keep an eye out for other teams in case more show up..." explained Ganondorf in detail.

"Here's your test, and good luck!" said the test instructor good-naturedly.

The frats took the test copies and began almost immediately.

"Just guess on all of them, we don't have time to actually take this test!" said Falcon nervously.

Mewtwo and Lucario
Currently in 3rd Place

"Make your way inside the Poké Trainer's School, and take the Pokémon test!" finished Mewtwo.

"If I had to take a guess, I'd say we're in second..." said Lucario testily.

"Yeah well I don't care what place we are, as long as we get to stay in to the final leg!" said Mewtwo hopefully.

"I'm surprised I even made it this far with someone as dumb as you," snapped Lucario maliciously.

Toon Link and Jigglypuff
Currently in Last Place

"Teams must now choose one of four Pokémon to accompany them on their journey to become Poke masters!" read Jigglypuff aloud.

They looked at the Turtwig, which was the only remaining Pokémon left.

"Where are the others?" asked Toon Link in alarm.

"This isn't time for Gregor the Overlander references, Toony," sighed Jigglypuff. "Hey, where are the other three Pokemon? If they're not here, and there's supposed to be four..."

...

"Then that must mean... the others are hiding!" finished Jigglypuff excitedly.

"We'll take the Turtwig," said Toon Link bitterly, taking the last Poké ball.

"I wonder if there's a chance we can still catch up," muttered Toon Link to himself.

Mewtwo and Lucario

"Okay, so we have to find this supposed building where people go to learn about Pokémon..." said Mewtwo, having re-read the clue to be sure.

"This leg is really easy, after all, this is our homeland!" said a smug Lucario.

"Oh hey, I've been to this school before," noticed Mewtwo, his team already at the next destination.

Falcon and Ganondorf

"Turn in our test answers," said Falcon, handing his in.

"Alright but first let me finish filling mine in." explained Ganondorf.

"Oh, I think it doesn't matter if we get all of them right," said Falcon arrogantly.

High-pitched string music played.

Mewtwo and Lucario

"Yes, this is definitely the right place!" said Lucario, looking around the room.

"I concur, this is indeed the Poké Trainer's School!" concurred Mewtwo, nodding.

Falcon and Ganondorf

"You both failed the Poké Trainer's School test!" said the instructor. "Fortunately for both of you, you can re-take the test and the ones you got right won't be changed..."

"Okay, good. Now let's take this test again, the Poké Trainer's School test..." repeated Ganondorf, claiming their tests again and continuing on where they had messed up.

"Man, this Poké Trainer's test is hard!" complained Falcon.

Mewtwo and Lucario

"Here's your Poké Trainer's test, and good luck!" said the test instructor good-naturedly.

"Why, thank you!" said Mewtwo graciously, accepting his test.

"Hey pal, I need a pencil," said Lucario, tapping the shoulder of the person next to him.

Falcon and Ganondorf

"Here you go," replied Ganondorf, supplying Falcon with a pencil since Falcon's broke.

"Thanks man, it was really bothering me," said Falcon good-naturedly.

They continued working on their test in a hurried fashion.

Toon Link and Jigglypuff

"We have 3 miles to go until we reach Jubilife City, this blows," sighed Toon Link depressedly.

"Can we use bikes?" asked Jigglypuff hopefully.

"No," replied Toon Link.

...

...

"Oh," said Jigglypuff.

Roy and Snake

"Hey, can we have directions to Canalave City?" asked Roy to a local.

"Why are you asking for directions, dad? Directions are for wimps!" laughed Snake.

Roy rolled his eyes.

"Stop rolling your eyes, dad! You know I hate that!" complained Snake.

Roy sighed.

"Pssh, real men don't need directions to some stupid location," said Snake arrogantly, walking forward and taking the lead.

five minutes later...

"PLEASE HELP ME! I'M SO LOST!" sobbed Snake hysterically.

Falcon and Ganondorf

"Here are our tests!" said Falcon dramatically, handing in their tests.

The instructor took them willingly, and almost immediately began pointing out errors.

"I can already tell this is going to be a very hard task for us," sighed Ganondorf.

Mewtwo and Lucario

"Here are our tests mister test instructor!" said Mewtwo, handing in his and his brother's tests.

A local nearby noticed the two Pokémon, and immediately started yelling. "Mewtwo and Lucario? The legendary Pokémon? I can't believe I'm actually meeting you guys!"

"Um yeah, sure." sighed Mewtwo.

"I'm your biggest fan!" said the Twins' number one fan.

"Yeah, I can totally tell," continued Mewtwo, noticing the fan's shirt which clearly read Mewtwo and Lucario are the best, and anyone who says differently can burn!.

"For some reason I don't believe that," said Lucario.

"Why's that?" asked Mewtwo curiously.

"Dude, it's common knowledge that when somebody says they're something's biggest fan, they don't know anything about the subject!" explained Lucario.

"Where have I heard that advice before?" wondered Mewtwo aloud.

A wavy flashback occured, one similar to the TV show 'Lost'.

"If she's your biggest fan, doesn't she know that I'm the villain to your hero?" asked Bowser sceptically.

"Bowser-a, it's common knowledge that anyone-a who says they're something's-a biggest fan doesn't-a know crap about the subject-a!" laughed Mari-

"I didn't mean answer it!" replied Mewtwo angrily, interrupting the transition and breaking the fourth wall viciously.

"Well no matter, hopefully that test instructor is almost done with our test results..." mused Lucario thoughtfully.

Falcon and Ganondorf

"You both failed the test, you still have eleven mistakes you have to fix," explained the instructor.

"Damn it, this is really starting to get on my nerves," fumed Falcon, taking back their tests and starting to work on them again.

"I wonder what's all the ruckus in the other room," wondered Ganondorf, cleaning out his ears as he listened in on Mewtwo and Lucario on accident, who happened to be next door.

Mewtwo and Lucario
Currently in 2nd Place

"You both passed the test," explained the test instructor, handing them their next clue.

"See I knew you two would pull through," smiled the number one fan, "After all, you two are the legendary Mewtwo and Lucario!"

"You're really starting to annoy me-" began Lucario, before Mewtwo intervened.

"Ignore him, brother, it's what I am doing." advised Mewtwo, trying to keep his sibling in check.

"Can you guys sign my chest?" asked the fan, "...In permanent ink?"

"You must now look for your next clue with the following hint... I am the second-tallest building in Jubilife City!" read Mewtwo aloud.

Falcon and Ganondorf

"You still have three errors," explained the instructor.

"You have got to be kidding me," sighed Ganondorf, exasperated.

"Well, there's only one answer we haven't picked on the three of them," noticed Falcon.

They quickly marked the last remaining answers.

Roy and Snake
Currently in 1st Place

"We have another mile to go before we reach Canalave City," explained Roy. "Once we finish the Detour, the U-Turn is back in Jubilife City, so we'll have to make a run for it if we don't want to be U-Turned."

"Say, didn't the frat boys already U-Turn somebody?" asked Snake curiously.

"You're right, and I think so has the Twins. Maybe we're the only ones left who can U-Turn then." stated Roy happily.

"Looks like we're in the clear this leg," said Snake evilly.

Mewtwo and Lucario

"Hey number one fan, do you know what the second-tallest building around here is?" asked Mewtwo.

"No, but I'll look it up for you," explained the number on fan excitedly.

"Bingo," said Lucario evilly.

"Apples to Apples." replied Mewtwo.

"We're not naming board games you idiot," said Lucario.

Falcon and Ganondorf

"We're done!" said Ganondorf. "Now give us the clue. ...Please."

"You must now look for your next clue with the following hint: I am the second-tallest building in Jubilife City." read Falcon loudly and emphasizing every syllable with extreme annoyance.

"Could you not do that?" asked the instructor, annoyed.

Mewtwo and Lucario

"The second-tallest building is the Jubilife City TV building." said the number one fan with excitement.

"Perfect, now we just need to get to there and that isn't going to be very hard." analyzed Lucario.

"Can you find a way to print it out, or write it down or something?" asked Mewtwo to the fan.

"Anything for you guys," said the number one fan admiringly.

He used WUPHF(dot)com in order to do so, if you get the reference.

"Yes, now we have a picture reference!" said Lucario happily, him and his brother walking out the front door.

Falcon and Ganondorf

"I know just the thing to help us find the second-tallest building," decided Falcon. "We get on top of the tallest building, look down at the other buildings, and we just find the tallest!"

"What's the tallest then?" asked Ganondorf.

"The Arcea tower," explained Falcon. "Now let's go find that tower!"

They ran out the back door of the school.

Toon Link and Jigglypuff

"Another 2 miles and we should be in Jubilife," recapped Toon Link.

"What time is it?" asked Jigglypuff.

"1:56 PM in the local time," said Toon Link after checking his satellite phone.

"You do realize it's illegal for you to have any sort of cellular device while on the race, righ-" asked the cameraman.

"Shut up," interrupted Toon Link childishly.

"But you'll get yourself penalized," sighed the cameraman.

"Damnation and eternal suffering!" screamed Toon Link, throwing his satellite phone in the nearby pond.

"You could have just handed it to me," said the cameraman meekly.

Falcon and Ganondorf

"That building over there, that should be the Arcea Tower." pointed out Ganondorf casually.

"Let's get a move-on and get inside, who knows how close the other teams are!" said Falcon ominously.

High-pitched string music played, which always meant certain doom for other teams.

Mewtwo and Lucario

"Use the picture reference, you fool," reminded Lucario angrily while shoving the picture to Mewtwo.

"When I asked for it to see if we were in front of the right building, you merely threw your backpack at me," explained Mewtwo monotonously.

"Nobody likes a smartass, Mewtwo." reminded Lucario dryly.

"Actually, that's not being a smartass. Now I would be acting like one if I were to say something more along the lines of-"

Falcon and Ganondorf

The frat boys ran inside the building, and without a word hopped inside an elevator.

"The top floor, and from there we go to the roof." explained Falcon.

"This is a good idea, we'll have it solved within minutes!" stated Ganondorf.

They waited out the rest of the elevator ride in silence.

Roy and Snake
Currently in 1st Place

"Not much further from here," sighed Roy tiredly, as he and his son ran across a bridge on Route 218. "Have you been training our Piplup?"

"Yes, indeed I have." said Snake with excitement, stroking a fake random mustache.

"We should probably catch a second Pokémon to use for back-up in case our only one faints in battle," realized Roy.

"Next time we fight one, I'll capture it then..." decided Snake quietly.

Toon Link and Jigglypuff

The sound of rabid wolves could be heard in the distance.

"What the hell!" yelled Toon Link angrily. "I didn't even do anything this time!"

"Maybe they just don't like you...?" wondered Jigglypuff.

"Why do they never attack you?" asked Toon Link with fury, climbing a small tree.

"One, I rubbed myself with protective anti-wolf oil before we started the leg, and secondly, that tree isn't going to stop them from getting you." explained Jigglypuff ominously.

"Anti-wolf oil? What the hell is that? And how would you ever figure we would be encountering wolves anyways?" screamed Toon Link, just as the wolves starting tearing the tree down in a feeding frenzy.

Roy and Snake
Currently in 1st Place

"A wild Shinx! I shall obtain it!" said Snake excitedly.

He threw a Poké ball at it, but missed and instead captured a tree.

"Curses, my Poké ball missed," cursed Snake rapidly.

He threw a Poké ball at it, but missed and instead captured a sign.

"Maybe you should lower its health first," advised Roy.

"Don't tell me what to do." replied Snake irritably, despite following Roy's advice. "Use Bubble, Piplup!"

It damaged the Shinx, and lost about 1/5th of its health.

He threw another Poké ball at it, but missed and instead captured a rake.

The Shinx grew bored and left the battle field.

He threw another Poké ball at it as it retreated, but missed and instead captured a Sudowoodo.

"Good enough," shrugged Snake, taking the Sudowoodo inside.

Falcon and Ganondorf

"Alright, this must be the roof." said Ganondorf, blatantly stating the most obvious. "Now what?"

"We search for the building that's the tallest from our point of view," explained Falcon.

They looked at the other buildings nearby.

"Maybe that one over there is the one?" guessed Ganondorf, pointing to the Jubilife City TV building.

"Yeah right, that one over there is definitely taller." said Falcon, pointing to the wrong building entirely.

They watched Mewtwo and Lucario walk inside the building Ganondorf was pointing at.

"That must be the building!" yelled Ganondorf, turning to leave.

Falcon had already left and was halfway to the elevator.

Mewtwo and Lucario

"It's definitely the right one," said Mewtwo, laughing at their fortune.

"Hurry up and get in the elevator over there, who knows what place we could be in?" sighed Lucario, shoving his brother inside.

As they walked inside the elevator, they heard the frats' distant cries of terror.

"Did you say something?" asked Mewtwo curiously.

"Nope." replied Lucario.

"Strange, I thought I heard someone screaming rapidly about beating those twins or something..." mused Mewtwo.

Both brothers shrugged and waited out the rest of the elevator ride in silence.

Falcon and Ganondorf

"THAT'S THE ONE! PRESS THE BUTTON!" yelled Ganondorf frantically.

Falcon ran forward, and began repeatedly pressing the elevator-summoning-button thing.

"It worked, it worked! The elevator is on its way back down!" said Ganondorf excitedly.

"Let's get in a different elevator then, and beat them up there!" said Falcon resolutely.

They ran inside the closest elevator nearby and repeatedly pressed the top floor button.

Mewtwo and Lucario

"What happened? Why is the elevator stopping?" asked Lucario.

"Hmm, it appears somebody summoned the elevator back down to the bottom floor," noticed Mewtwo dryly.

"Summoned the elevator? What is this, Lord of the Rings? What do you mean by this?" asked Lucario angrily.

"I mean by somebody called us back down to the ground floor, and we're going all the way back downnnn," said Mewtwo in a condescending baby tone.

Lucario punched Mewtwo in both eyes for his insolent tone.

Roy and Snake
Currently in 1st Place

"We should seriously consider buying a bike, or something." sighed Roy, clutching his swollen foot.

"No, we won't need one anymore," said Snake simply, pointing to the vast stretches of sea that lay ahead of them.

"Then we are extremely lucky we picked the water Pokémon," said Roy ecstatically, laughing at their good fortune.

"Piplup, I want you to use surf," said Snake to the Piplup.

Falcon and Ganondorf
Currently in 2nd Place

The frat boys ran out of the nearby door and straight to the clue box.

"Detour," read Falcon aloud as he was ripping it open, "Grounded Down or Watered Down?"

"This is going to be a hard one..." sighed Ganondorf quietly.

Mewtwo and Lucario
Currently in 3rd Place

The twins were shocked at the sight of the frat boys, but only for a moment.

"Looks like we caught up to you," laughed Mewtwo nervously.

"How do you know it wasn't us who caught up to you?" asked Falcon angrily.

"I'm thinking we were ahead and you managed to only get lucky enough to beat us to the clue box," said Lucario pompously.

"Detour, Grounded Down or Watered Down?" read Mewtwo out loud.

"We take whatever task the frats take," whispered Lucario.

Falcon and Ganondorf
Currently in 2nd Place

"Watered Down sounds like specifically a water Pokémon task, meanwhile Grounded Down sounds as if it will take some effort but is definitely easier than the other one if you're not carrying the water-type." decided Ganondorf wearily.

"Grounded Down it is, then." announced Falcon anticlimactically.

They departed for the task almost immediately after reading about the huge distance to the task.

Mewtwo and Lucario
Currently in 3rd Place

"We don't want to lose them, not after all this," said Mewtwo dramatically, chasing after the frats.

Lucario followed closely after.

Toon Link and Jigglypuff
Currently in Last Place

"Make your way inside the Poké Trainer's School, and take the Pokémon test!" read Jigglypuff from the clue she received by the city greeter.

"This race sucks," said Toon Link angrily, bleeding profusely from the wolf bites.

"Come on Toony, we have to take a test on Pokémon!" said Jigglypuff excitedly.

Toon Link yelped when Jigglypuff grabbed his limp arm to drag him towards the school looming in the distance.

Roy and Snake
Currently in 1st Place

"Ach, I think we're here now," noticed Roy casually.

They hopped off of their Piplup and walked inside the city-gate entrance.

"So this must be Canalave City." said Snake simply.

"We need to find somebody, like a sailor or someone who will know where the river strip is." explained Roy with simplicity.

"You there, where are we?" asked Snake to the closest person in a demanding tone.

"Welcome to Canalave City, the canal city!" replied some local. "In the old days, this port used to be a hub of cargo transportation."

"That's nice. Now where is the river strip?" asked Roy casually.

"The last time I ever heard that," said Snake dramatically, "Was the last time I ever saw my best friend alive."

...

Falcon and Ganondorf
Currently in 2nd Place

"We have to keep going, due north." explained Falcon tiredly.

"What time is it now? We need to keep track of the time." asked Ganondorf.

"It's 2:32 PM in the local Sinnoh time." reported Falcon, after glancing at his watch.

They continued wearily on, the twins almost directly behind them.

Mewtwo and Lucario
Currently in 3rd Place

"Don't let up and just keep following them!" said Lucario frantically.

"I don't think leeching off of another team is going to really benefit us this leg," sighed Mewtwo.

"What, and actually do work? What is wrong with you today, Mewtwo?" asked Lucario angrily.

Toon Link and Jigglypuff
Currently in Last Place

"Ugh, this test is really starting to get to me," said Jigg- I mean Toon Link, irritably.

"I'm a Pokémon, so this is some easy stuff!" smiled Jigglypuff happily, finishing hers.

"Wait, before you hand it in give it to me." said Toon Link shiftily.

"But... but that's cheating!" said Jigglypuff, horrified at the thought of such a heinous crime. "Just the thought of it makes me want to go into a nervous mental breakdown!"

"Just give me the paper, darn it!" said Toon Link, stealing her paper.

As he began working on it, he also added, "Just like our Middle School days, huh Jiggly?"

Roy and Snake
On Watered Down

"Over there? Okay, thanks mate." said Roy, walking over to the river strip.

"We have to capture one of those?" asked Snake with contempt, looking at the bobbing buoys.

"Apparently so," stated Roy as-a-matter-of-factly.

"This is going to be a piece of cake." added Snake, hopping into a nearby motor boat.

Falcon and Ganondorf
Currently in 2nd Place

"Dude, I think Mewtwo and his bro are following us," noticed Ganondorf wearily.

"Are they really? Wow they must be pretty desperate if they're stooping that low," laughed Falcon arrogantly.

"Why would you say that? Isn't that what we did back in leg s-"

"I HAVE NO IDEA WHAT YOU ARE TALKING ABOUT," lied Falcon nervously.

Mewtwo and Lucario
Currently in 3rd Place

"You think we could beat them in a footrace?" asked Mewtwo to his brother.

"I doubt it, they're pretty athletic I'd have to say." replied Lucario.

...

"That's it?" asked Mewtwo. "You have nothing else to add? No insults?"

"Not really," said Lucario. "I'm extremely tired right now."

Toon Link and Jigglypuff
Currently in Last Place

"We're done." said Toon Link, handing in their tests.

"I can't believe you made me do that," said Jigglypuff, looking as if she had just witnessed a traumatizing event.

"Big deal, I copied off your test," sighed Toon Link. "Get over it."

Everyone gasped in horror.

"So what? I used to do it all the time in third period," admitted Toon Link.

Back at home, Toon Link's teacher, who happened to be watching the show, made him fail the class.

Roy and Snake
On Watered Down

"Okay, I've almost got it." said Snake, almost within reach of the buoy in his boat.

"Oh yeah, you're not allowed to use boats," added the instructor at the last possible second.

"Are you kidding me? I'm already touching the freaking thing!" said Snake angrily, his hand on the buoy.

"Do you want to be penalized?" retorted the man angrily.

Snake jumped overboard and began swimming to the retreating buoy.

"Why aren't you helping, dad?" asked Snake, spitting out sea water.

"Uh... don't worry, I'm right behind you," said Roy timidly, still on the land with the instructor and with all the gear.

"Stop fooling around and get in here," spluttered Snake, still trying to reach the buoy.

"Yeah... I'm getting in right now... don't worry son... daddy's... on his way..." said Roy nervously.

Roy

"Fear of water? That's ridiculous, you'd die without water," laughed Roy casually.

Falcon and Ganondorf
Fraternity Brothers

"I'm finding the twins to be quite annoying this leg," admitted Falcon impatiently.

"Agreed. I'm starting to really have a disliking for them if they're really going to stoop this low on the penultimate leg." decided Ganondorf.

"Maybe we should sprint the rest of the way to Floaroma Town?" asked Falcon.

Ganondorf nodded appreciatively and they started running as fast as they could.

Mewtwo and Lucario
Twin Brothers

"Oh, so that's what It's come to, huh?" said Lucario angrily, following after the frats as fast as his body would let him.

Mewtwo followed his brother in silence, knowing he would simply receive backlash for commenting on how he was right about his prediction earlier.

Falcon and Ganondorf
Fraternity Brothers

"What does the sign ahead read?" yelled Ganondorf as he was catching up to Falcon.

The sign next to the cave entrance read, 'Ravaged Path entrance'.

"This is definitely it," laughed Falcon at their navigational success, running directly into the dark, dank cave without any concern.

Mewtwo and Lucario
Twin Brothers

"Damn it, where did they run off to?" asked Lucario curiously, having already left his brother behind.

He looked around edgily, scanning for any signs that the frats had travelled in the general direction.

"I really hope we're not the last place team," sighed Lucario desperately.

Falcon and Ganondorf
Fraternity Brothers

"I really like Sinnoh, maybe I'll come back here and visit one day," said Ganondorf.

"You do realize this is the same province Mewtwo and Lucario live in, right?" asked Falcon.

"Yeah, now I'm starting to realize how stupid that statement really was." admitted Ganondorf.

Mewtwo and Lucario
Twin Brothers

Mewtwo finally caught up with his brother, panting heavily.

"Man... I am... really out of... breath, bro..." panted Mewtwo doggedly.

"Dude, we ran like what, a hundred yards? You are seriously out of shape..." smirked Lucario.

"Shut up..." said Mewtwo tiredly.

"Where are we supposed to be headed, anyways?" asked Lucario.

"Floaroma Town. Seriously Lucario, the clue told us where to go, and to boot, we've lived here our entire childhood lives, how could you forget something like that?" chastised Mewtwo.

"Actually for once it wasn't my fault," said Lucario arrogantly, looking up at the sky.

"You make one mistake, and everyone has to bring it up," sighed the author, up on a cloud.

Roy and Snake
On Watered Down

"Gaah, the sea water burns!" screamed Snake, his eyes watering from the water.

Roy continued to meekly watch from the sidelines.

"Go son... yeah... yae can do it..." said Roy weakly.

Snake gripped the buoy, but slipped and fell back into the cold water.

"Damn it!" coughed Snake, spitting out sea water.

Toon Link and Jigglypuff
Currently in Last Place

"Here's your next clue," said the instructor teacher, handing them their next clue.

"Thanks!" replied Jigglypuff, ripping it open instantly and reading in an upbeat manner, "You must now look for your next clue with the following hint: I am the second-tallest building in Jubilife City..."

"Well this sucks," said Toon Link depressedly. "That's a stupid hint..."

Falcon and Ganondorf
Currently in 2nd Place

"There it is, Floaroma town!" said Ganondorf with excitement, walking out from the cave and heading towards the small village that consisted of maybe eight houses.

"Check the clue... we need to see where in the town exactly the berry field we need to go to is at." said Falcon.

Ganondorf rummaged through his backpack, but couldn't find the clue.

"It's not in here," said Ganondorf nervously.

Falcon took off his backpack, and searched it for the clue. He did not end up finding it.

"Oh, you've got to be kidding me..." sighed Ganondorf exasperatedly.

High-pitched string music played.

Mewtwo and Lucario
Currently in 3rd Place

They read a sign next to the cave entrance that read, 'Ravaged Path entrance'.

"Looks like this is it, alright." nodded Mewtwo.

"Maybe if we're lucky, we'll end up swinging by our hometown, Solaceon." added Lucario.

"And we could say hi to mommy!" said Mewtwo childishly.

"I don't know about that, but it'd be nice to visit that playground, where I spent most of my days." reminisced Lucario.

Falcon and Ganondorf
Fraternity Brothers

"Dude, we cannot let this happen..." said Falcon. "How did this even happen?"

"This can't be happening... this has to be a dream..." said Ganondorf, horrified. "Maybe if I pinch myself..."

He pinched himself, really hard.

"OW! That didn't work!" yelled Ganondorf.

Falcon tried to put on a brave face, as he said "We need to act on our mistake, not just focus on how we messed up. Let's start by asking locals nearby if they've seen a clue anywhere, or if they know where the berry field we particularly need to go to."

Immediately the Frat boys galvanized into action and started asking nearby people if they'd seen the clue.

Mewtwo and Lucario
Twin Brothers

"Keep a wary eye about, those frats are somewhere up ahead." warned Mewtwo.

"Whatever, I'm more concerned about getting out of this cave." said Lucario.

Falcon and Ganondorf
Fraternity Brothers

"Have either of you seen a clue around here? Or more precisely, a yellow sheet of paper?" asked Falcon to some nearby residents.

On the other side of the house, Ganondorf was digging frantically through some trash.

"It's not here either! I think we're done for," simpered Ganondorf sadly.

Falcon walked up, shaking his head. "Did you find it?"

"No, what about you?" queried Ganondorf.

Roy and Snake
Currently in 1st Place

"Gee, thanks for nothing, dad. I almost died out there and you didn't do shi(f)t!" yelled Snake angrily.

"Ach, if anything, at least yae finished the task, right?" asked Roy shakily, still unnerved from earlier.

"Yeah well we still have to run all the way back to Jubilife City and back up to the roof." remembered Snake.

"Anyways, thanks for yer help, Billy!" said Roy to the instructor, as he and Snake started walking off.

"It's Philly," said the worker flatly, but the father and son were already too far away to hear him.

Roy

"I'm really bad with names..." said Roy sheepishly.

Falcon and Ganondorf
Fraternity Brothers

"This isn't going to work, let's just go ahead and follow the twins when they get here," said Ganondorf desperately.

"But wouldn't that pretty much demoralize what we were pretty much against? When we stated earlier in the leg we hated people who did that?" asked Falcon, a pained look in his face.

"Well, it's either that or we get elimina-"

"Nope, changed my mind, option number one," said Falcon rapidly.

Mewtwo and Lucario
Twin Brothers

"It's 3:00 pm, the leg started for us over 13 hours now..." sighed Lucario after looking at his watch.

"Yeah hard to believe it's been that long!" said Mewtwo with enthusiasm.

"And every second of it has been like hell since it was spent with you..." said Lucario cruelly, "...But I guess it's all worth it since it's for a million dollars and I'll finally be rich."

Mewtwo shot him a venomous glare when he turned back around.

Toon Link and Jigglypuff
Currently in Last Place

"This is it, we just need to take the stairs all the way to the roof." explained Toon Link.

Jigglypuff was already ahead of him.

"Whatever," said Toon Link indifferently.

Roy and Snake
Currently in 1st Place

"Now we have to take our Piplup all the way back to Jubilife," sighed Roy irritably, as he and his son rode their Pokémon through the choppy river water.

"At least we lucked out with picking the right Pokémon for the right task." mused Snake thoughtfully.

"Agreed." agreed Roy in an agreeing manner, the agreement showing on his gratified face with relief.

Toon Link and Jigglypuff
Currently in Last Place

Jigglypuff read aloud, her excitement showing through her voice, "Detour! Grounded Down or Watered Down? Warning, U-Turn ahead!"

"Grounded down, definitely." decided Toon Link.

"Too bad we have more walking to do to get there!" said Jigglypuff.

Falcon and Ganondorf
Fraternity Brothers

"So we just wait for the twins to show up, then we follow them straight to the detour task." said Falcon, outlining their plan.

Ganondorf nodded. "Yes, that's correct."

"I guess we just chill until then, huh?" wondered Falcon.

Mewtwo and Lucario
Twin Brothers

"Finally, it's good to be out of that dreary cave." said Mewtwo in relaxation.

They walked out of the cave.

"Why did say that before we were actually out of the cave?" asked Lucario.

"Bite me," said Mewtwo, annoyed by the question.

Falcon and Ganondorf

"There they are. Act casual, like we just got here..." whispered Falcon.

The twin brothers walked up, a little unnerved by the frats' appearance.

"What are you two loitering around here for?" asked Lucario.

"Oh, no reason. We're just waiting for that library to open," said Ganondorf, pointing to a nearby house.

"That looks like a house," observed Mewtwo.

"Well maybe it's a library-house," suggested Falcon nervously.

"What the heck is a library-house?" asked Mewtwo.

"It's... a library served to you from a person's home..." said Falcon unconvincingly.

"That's the dumbest thing I've ever heard of! Who do you two numbskulls think you're fooling?" snapped Lucario angrily, walking inside the house. "Now I'm going to prove to you two it's just a house!"

"Welcome to Floaroma's only Library-house, run by the Smith family!" said the owner of the house proudly.

...

"Damn you, frat boys." said Lucario, walking off in anger.

Mewtwo and Lucario
On Grounded Down
Step: 1/3

"There's the field we need to get the berries from." said Mewtwo, running up to the eight baskets left for the racers.

Mewtwo grabbed one, then added, "There's two for the both of us."

They each took one and walked into the giant berry fields and almost immediately began filling them up with berries.

"Strawberry fields forever, huh?" laughed Mewtwo.

Lucario pretended not to hear Mewtwo's pathetic reference.

Falcon and Ganondorf
On Grounded Down
Step: 1/3

"Our fatal clue error caused for us to let the twins catch up to us, but at least if anything we're level with them." said Ganondorf optimistically.

"Yeah bro," agreed Falcon, taking a basket for himself.

"We have to fill these things all the way to the top, right dude?" asked Ganondorf.

"Yeah that's right." confirmed Falcon, taking a handful and dumping it into the basket.

Toon Link and Jigglypuff
Currently in Last Place

"Either we are really far ahead of the others or we're really far behind everyone else," said Toon Link ominously. "Because we haven't seen anyone today. Not even a sighting."

"I just hope we get to stay in, just one more leg," said Jigglypuff hopefully.

"If we don't win the million, I'm killing myself." said Toon Link.

Roy and Snake
Currently in 1st Place

"D' ye reckon there's not much further until the Pit stop?" asked Roy.

"How should I know? I didn't create this race," replied Snake pompously.

Roy looked offended, but nevertheless shrugged it off.

Mewtwo and Lucario
On Grounded Down
Step: 1/3

"There has to be a faster way to do this," said Lucario resentfully, ripping several berries off of a plant nearby.

"I'm trying to think of one." explained Mewtwo, as he was working.

"Well hurry up, this is getting tiresome really fast." said Lucario, his hands covered in dirt and grime.

Falcon and Ganondorf
On Grounded Down
Step: 1/3

"This will take quite a while unless we can think of some idea to get this done quicker," admitted Falcon.

"Maybe we could check that shed nearby for something to use?" suggested Ganondorf.

"Good idea, you do that and I'll stay here and fill up my basket in the mean time." said Falcon.

Mewtwo and Lucario
On Grounded Down
Step: 1/3

"I just hope the other steps of this task aren't nearly this difficult." sighed Lucario, his arms hurting.

Mewtwo used his mind to rip several plants out from their roots and dump all the berries in his basket.

"Why didn't you think of this sooner?" said Lucario, outraged.

"Because you never brought it up." replied Mewtwo.

Falcon and Ganondorf
On Grounded Down
Step: 1/3

"Okay I'm back." said Ganondorf, walking back with a shovel.

"What the heck is a shovel going to do?" asked Falcon.

"We use it to dig up the plants from the roots, dump the berries into the container." explained Ganondorf.

"Alright bro, let's do this!" said Falcon, following Ganondorf's wise advice.

Mewtwo and Lucario
On Grounded Down
Step: 1/3

"Hah, this task is a breeze with our psychic powers!" said Mewtwo enthusiastically, using his mind to cleave through an entire row of berries and pluck them altogether into the basket.

"You can say that again." said Lucario, also using his mind to his advantage.

"Hah, this task is a breeze with our psy-"

"I didn't actually mean it, dumbass. It was rhetorical." snapped Lucario angrily.

"No matter, we're done now." said Mewtwo, both their baskets overflowing with berries.

"It says we need to go into the shed and make this into berry juice or something." said Lucario, using his psychic powers to carry the overflowing berry basket.

Falcon and Ganondorf
On Grounded Down
Step: 1/3

"They're already done with the first part because they used their psychic abilities," said Falcon bitterly, digging up entire plants with the shovel.

"We can't lose them, because we don't know what we're supposed to do once we finish with filling the baskets!" reminded Ganondorf, taking the plants his cousin dug up and emptying them into their baskets.

Roy and Snake
Currently in 1st Place

"We're back in Jubilife, though now we need to make it to the centre of the town which is where the U-Turn will be," explained Roy to the camera.

"We have to hurry! There's no time to waste! They're right behind us!" said Snake dramatically.

Roy looked behind them.

"There's nobody there." said Roy.

"I'm trying to make our scenes more epic so we get more face time on camera." explained Snake.

"That makes sense I guess." decided Roy.

Mewtwo and Lucario
On Grounded Down
Step: 2/3

"Now we have to dump them into this machine and start it up." explained Mewtwo, doing so as he explained it.

"Quit telling me all this, I already know." said Lucario, annoyed.

Mewtwo tried to ignore the comment and stepped aside for Lucario to dump the berries in.

Lucario dumped them in, and most of his berries ended up jamming the machine.

"Dude, you're going to have to get more berries because you jammed up the last few," said Mewtwo.

"Quit telling me what to do!" yelled Lucario, despite taking his advice and running back outside.

Falcon and Ganondorf
On Grounded Down
Step: 1/3

"I'd say we're about done." said Falcon, looking at their baskets.

"We're barely qualifying, they have to at least be touching that red line in the baskets," pointed out Ganondorf.

"Whatever, as long as we have enough." said Falcon, carrying his towards the shed.

"Out of my way!" yelled Lucario, knocking Falcon to the ground as he ran by.

"Wow, what's his problem?" asked Ganondorf, helping his brother back up from the muck.

Roy and Snake
Currently in 1st Place

"Finally, we've made it back to the U-Turn!" said Snake joyously, both him and his father walking straight onto the mat.

"It makes sense to go ahead and use this U-Turn, after all, we have no idea what place we could be in, it'll ensure us the finale, and it's also the last one we'll encounter." explained Roy.

"But the question is who to U-Turn?" queried Snake.

"This is the decision," explained Roy, "The decision that will determine who makes it with us to that finale and who gets left behind..."

Falcon and Ganondorf
On Grounded Down

"Hurry man, we can't lose the twins, not after coming this far!" said Falcon with anxiety in his tone.

"If we can beat Lucario back to the shed..." started Ganondorf.

Roy and Snake
Currently in 1st Place

"Now, who hath wronged us the most," cackled Snake evilly as he pondered the question.

"Don't go just by your biased feelings, think of who would be the biggest threats when it comes to racing," advised Roy wisely, "Like who stands the biggest chance of actually beating us."

"Let's start by finding out who's still left," said Snake, drawing out the three cards in the box.

Mewtwo and Lucario
On Grounded Down

"Oh man, I hope Lucario gets back here before the frat boys show up!" said Mewtwo nervously, his half of the berry juice already bottled up and ready to go.

He looked out the window.

Roy and Snake
Currently in 1st Place

"Let's see now... here's Mewtwo and Lucario," began Snake, drawing the cards one by one.

"They always annoyed me with their nonstop arguing," mused Roy. "But I think their bickering nature and tension of th' race is going to completely destroy them..."

"The Frat boys," said Snake, the excitement showing in his tone as he pulled the next card which was Falcon and Ganondorf.

"Ach, I'll admit, I didn't like th' frats at first but I think I'm starting to actually like them," lamented Roy.

Toon Link and Jigglypuff
Currently in Last Place

"Keep following the trail, and we should eventually find Floaroma town!" said Jigglypuff with excitement.

Toon Link starting sneezing.

"Bless you, Toon Link!" said Jigglypuff. "You know, they say when people sneeze, other people are talking about you..."

Roy and Snake
Currently in 1st Place

"Well, look what we have here," said Snake evilly, drawing the last card out to reveal the students. "Looks like those annoying kids didn't get eliminated last leg after all!"

"They're the ones who would have gotten us eliminated on the ninth leg if it wasn't a non-elimination," remembered Roy angrily. "Those rotten cowards..."

"I don't even think anybody likes them anymore anyways," added Roy. "We may as well do everyone a favor and get them eliminated."

"Karma's a bitch, isn't it, Jigglypuff and Toon Link?" laughed Snake, posting the students' sticker on the board triumphantly.

"Today has turned out to be such a wonderful day," said Roy happily, ripping open the next clue. "You must now make your way to Oreburgh City..."

"Teams must now head to the east exit of Jubilife and take complimentary tandem bikes and pedal to Oreburgh City. Once there, they must go inside the local dinosaur museum, where the museum owner will hand them their next clue!" said Koopa Troopa.

"Sweet, looks like the leg's ending at Oreburgh!" said Snake excitedly, already making his way to the east exit of the city.

Mewtwo and Lucario
On Grounded Down
Step: 2/3

"I'm back," said Lucario, running back inside the shack and immediately dumping in all of the contents of the basket into the juicing machine.

"Good job, brother." said Mewtwo, patting his brother on the back.

"It's times like these I'm so glad we have psychic powers," said Lucario gratifyingly.

Falcon and Ganondorf
On Grounded Down
Step: 2/3

"Hey guys," said Ganondorf as he and his cousin walked in only a minute after Lucario, "What's happenin'?"

The frats turned to notice the slave pokémon behind them, all chained up.

"Oooh, pokémon! Do they bite?" asked Falcon excitedly, reaching out to touch one of the Bulbasaurs.

It pulled a gun on him.

"They do," said Falcon nervously, withdrawing his hand.

"Yeah, pokémon are seriously mistreated a bit around here," explained Mewtwo nervously.

...

"No offense dude, but why would you care?" asked Falcon.

"Because we are pokémon," said Lucario angrily.

...

"Oh. Good thing that's out of the way," laughed Ganondorf nervously.

Toon Link and Jigglypuff
Currently in Last Place

The two kids walked into a log cabin on the side of the road.

"Hmm... it appears that all these people are dead," announced Jigglypuff in a charming British accent after looking at the sleeping people.

"They're not dead," stated Toon Link.

"Are you sure? They are quite deathly still!" said Jigglypuff.

"They're not dead, okay?" said Toon Link, annoyed.

"So is that person dead?" asked Jigglypuff, pointing to a sleeping person.

"No, nobody is dead! Stop asking if people are dead!" replied Toon Link angrily.

"Then explain why they're not moving!" said Jigglypuff dramatically.

"Do you know what sleep is, Jigglypuff?" asked Toon Link angrily.

Mewtwo and Lucario
On Grounded Down
Final Step: 0/15

"We're on the final step of the task." said Lucario, as they took the glass containers placed in giant hand-made baskets outside.

"We have to sell fifteen of these and then we're good to go back to Jubilife," explained Mewtwo.

Falcon and Ganondorf
On Grounded Down
Step: 2/3

"Hurry bro, we can't lose the twins after all the effort we've been putting into this!" said Ganondorf with anxiety, dumping their berries into the machine.

"That's the last of it." said Falcon, throwing a lever, which activated the juicing machine to make the juice.

Toon Link and Jigglypuff
High School Students

"For the last time, Jigglypuff, nobody is freaking dead!" yelled Toon Link angrily.

A dead corpse fell out of a closet behind Toon Link.

"Okay then, Toon Link," said Jigglypuff angrily, slapping the dead corpse, "Since you're so smart and wise, I guess I'll just wake up this obviously non-dead guy!"

Toon Link stared, shocked at the body.

"What's the matter, Toon Link? Afraid he might actually be dead and you'll be wrong for once?" asked Jigglypuff angrily, continuing to slap the dead corpse.

Toon Link stared, shocked at the body.

"I guess nobody's perfect then, if even the mighty Toon Link is wrong," said Jigglypuff angrily.

"T-t-that guy's dead..." stuttered Toon Link.

Mewtwo and Lucario
On Grounded Down
Final Step: 1/15

"Good sir, would you like to buy one of our wonderful healing elixirs?" asked Mewtwo.

"Does it cure cancer?" asked the man hopefully, "Because I've been searching my whole life for a cure to my wife's cancer problem, and she may die soon if I don't get her something to cu-"

"Yeah, yeah, whatever, just buy this and it should help," said Mewtwo, handing him the stuff and taking his money.

Falcon and Ganondorf
On Grounded Down
Final Step: 0/15

"Keep the twins in your sights, we can't afford to slip up now," explained Falcon. "When we finally get our next clue, we don't have to piggyback off of them anymore."

"I just hope the twins have already used their U-Turning powers," said Ganondorf hopefully. "That way they can't U-Turn us..."

Toon Link and Jigglypuff
High School Students

"Oh please Toon Link, don't start with me now," said Jigglypuff angrily, "If you really expect me to believe that these people are dead when you just got done convincing me that they're sleeping, then you have another thing coming! How dare you insult my intelli-"

Jigglypuff inspected the bodies closer.

"Wow, they really are dead," said Jigglypuff, shocked.

...

"But what is all this red stuff all over them?" wondered Jigglypuff, picking some up and tasting it.

Mewtwo and Lucario
On Grounded Down
Final Step: 4/15

"Hey pal, come here. I have some of the latest stuff to get you real whacked. Get my drift? This stuff'll blow your mind, man." whispered Lucario to some local. "And I'm only selling for five bucks."

"Gee, that's a bargain I can't afford to lose!" smiled the local, taking not one, but two bottles of the juice.

Lucario pocketed the ten bucks and laughed at the local's ineptitude.

"You do know you could just hand these out for free, right?" said the cameraman nervously.

"Whatever, I think I should at least get something out of all this..." said Lucario tiredly.

Falcon and Ganondorf
On Grounded Down
Final Step: 1/15

"Dude, why can't we sell this stuff?" asked Falcon desperately, throwing a bottle onto the ground.

"Maybe we could find a way to sell them, like say they're flammable and they're good to use as a Molotov," said Ganondorf.

"Perfect! Let's do that." decided Falcon.

Toon Link and Jigglypuff
High School Students

"Oh my gosh, I think we're in a slaughterhouse," said Toon Link, shivering with fear.

"We need to get out of here before things end up really messy!" said Jigglypuff, opening a door.

Another corpse fell out, and then a rabid cat jumped out and clawed Jigglypuff's eyes out.

Mewtwo and Lucario
On Grounded Down
Final Step: 6/15

"I can't believe we're actually selling this stuff like wildfire!" laughed Lucario triumphantly.

"These things are selling like hotcakes," added Mewtwo as he looked for another customer.

Falcon and Ganondorf
On Grounded Down
Final Step: 2/15

"See, if you ignite the liquid, like so..." explained Falcon, lighting a match and placing it inside one of the bottles. "...It ignites and you can throw it on stuff!"

The crowd of people cheered excitedly and took all the remaining bottles.

"Wow, that task turned out to be really easy!" grinned Ganondorf, when the instructor himself bought one of their bottles and gave them permission to move on.

Falcon and Ganondorf
Currently in 2nd Place

"We need to hurry to the U-Turn, we can't let the twins get there first!" said Falcon rapidly as he and his cousin made a run for it.

Mewtwo and Lucario
On Grounded Down
Final Step: 9/15

"Aargh, we still have six more to sell," complained Mewtwo. "How are we going to sell six more of these when everyone in the town has one now?"

"What do you mean, 'everyone in the town'? Altogether us and the frats together have only sold about twenty-odd bottles of this stuff." said Lucario confusedly.

Lucario noticed there were only twenty-odd people in the entire town.

"That would explain it," sighed Lucario.

Toon Link and Jigglypuff
Currently in Last Place

Both of the kids ran out of the slaughterhouse cabin and sprinted as fast as they could on the path towards Floroama Town.

"Phew, I can't believe we made it out of there in one piece," panted Jigglypuff, wiping a bead of sweat from her forehead.

"I think we're in the clear now..." panted Toon Link.

"Huh, I wonder what happened to the running gag of me being eaten alive by a pack of rabid wolves?" added Toon Link shortly after.

The sound of rabid wolves could be heard in the distance.

"Damn my continuity!" screamed Toon Link angrily.

Roy and Snake
Currently in 1st Place

"Do you think U-Turning the kids was the right option?" asked Roy.

"What stupid question, of course it was!" replied Snake angrily, as he and his dad got on a bike, "How was it not the right decision?"

"Yeah well, maybe we should have U-Turned somebody who actually has a chance of catching up to us," pondered Roy.

"The kids deserve to be eliminated, more than anyone else!" explained Snake, pedaling furiously out from Jubilife east exit. "Nobody likes them and they're really good racers!"

Falcon and Ganondorf
Currently in 2nd Place

"Dude, don't stop running for anything, those twins'll do anything to beat us to the mat." advised Falcon, already running ahead of Ganondorf.

They ran past a tall grass field.

Mewtwo and Lucario
Currently in 3rd Place

"We sold the last six," lied Lucario, behind him was a ditch filled with the six final containers.

"Don't lose the frat boys!" said Mewtwo, "We cannot lose to them to the U-Turn mat!"

"Have they U-Turned anybody yet?" wondered Lucario.

"We choose to U-Turn the kids, Toon Link and Jigglypuff..." said Falcon after a moment of very awkward silence.

They pasted the faces of the said people onto the U-Turn board without having to post theirs.

"Nahhh, I don't think they have yet." said Mewtwo. "Though we have used our U-Turn, we need to beat them in case to the mat in case they haven't used theirs!"

Toon Link and Jigglypuff
Currently in Last Place

"I can't see anything through this grass field!" complained Jigglypuff, trying desperately to keep herself from falling back down.

"...Those twins'll do anything to beat us to the mat," said voice from across the field.

"Did you hear that?" asked Toon Link, "I think we've caught up to someone!"

The kids eagerly ran towards the sound of the voice.

Roy and Snake
Currently in 1st Place

"Make sure you've been training our Pokémon, I have a feeling that's going to come in handy later on in the leg," advised Roy.

"Pssh, I have it covered! We have three Pokémon now, our Piplup evolved into a Prinplup, and we also have Sudowoodo, and a Drifblim, none of them are lower than level 15." said Snake arrogantly.

"I'm curious as to how much longer this leg is going to take," mused Roy.

Falcon and Ganondorf
Currently in 2nd Place

"How many miles do you think it is until we reach Jubilife?" asked Ganondorf.

"Another three or four," panted Falcon.

They continued running in silence.

Mewtwo and Lucario
Currently in 3rd Place

"Do you think there's a chance tha-Ow, what the heck did I just trip on?" wondered Mewtwo, as he tripped over Jigglypuff.

Lucario walked up, shaking his head. "That's one weird pink rock you tripped over..."

Jigglypuff sat up, rubbing her head.

"I wonder ho- What are you doing here?" screamed Mewtwo, realizing it was Jigglypuff. "You were eliminated! Go away!"

"What are you talking about? It was Ness who was eliminated last leg." explained Jigglypuff, dusting herself off.

"So wait, you weren't eliminated already?" questioned Lucario, looking desperate.

"No, not at all! Me and Toony are still racing for first!" smiled Jigglypuff, as soon as Toon Link walked up.

The twins gave one look at the kids and then at each other, then wordlessly began sprinting away.

"I wonder what their problem is," muttered Jigglypuff.

Roy and Snake
Currently in 1st Place

"This must be Oreburgh," said Snake simply, hopping off the bike and reading a sign nearby which read, 'Oreburgh City, the city of energy'.

"We need to go to the local museum, so keep a wary eye out," reminded Roy.

They left the bike there, propped up against the sign as they went to search for the museum.

Falcon and Ganondorf
Currently in 2nd Place

Falcon and his cousin ran through an open grass field.

"You crossed in front of me, we have to battle now." said a nearby trainer.

"No, we don't have time, we have to go right now!" said Ganondorf angrily, shoving the trainer to the side.

"According to the rules, we have to battle now." said the nearby trainer.

"We don't want to battle you, leave us alone!" said Falcon, trying to get around the trainer.

"Battle me, damn it! I've been waiting here for so long!" complained the trainer.

"Here's thirty bucks, leave us alone!" yelled Falcon, handing the money and running off.

Roy and Snake
Currently in 1st Place

"Here it is, the museum!" said Roy gladly, walking up to it and looking at it fondly.

"It looks closed," noticed Snake as he also walked up. "There's a sign on the door."

"Museum hours of operation: 5:30 pm to 5:00 am on Tuesdays," read Roy somewhat depressedly.

"Damn, the others will catch up to us now..." said Snake, blowing up a nearby building in anger.

"What time is it? We still have a chance of staying in the lead," said Roy.

"4:09 pm," replied Snake angrily.

"That's only..." said Roy, counting the math up mentally, "...1 hour and 21 minutes away, that's not that bad..."

Falcon and Ganondorf

"There's the north city entrance!" said Falcon as he ran forward.

"Keep running, who knows how far ahead we are of the twins!" reminded Ganondorf urgently, struggling to keep up.

Mewtwo and Lucario

"There's the frat boys- in distance, see them?" observed Mewtwo, outrunning his brother.

"Beat them to the U-Turn mat, they're passing into Jubilife!" said Lucario, lagging behind.

"Make a run for it, maybe we can still beat them," said Mewtwo, putting on a burst of speed.

Falcon and Ganondorf

"Oh no, the twins are trying to pass us!" gasped Ganondorf, falling further behind.

"Come on bro, don't give up now!" encouraged Falcon, running past the city sign.

Mewtwo and Lucario

"Pass up Ganondorf, he's tiring out!" said Lucario excitedly, leaping over a white fence.

"We have this in the bag if we can both pass just him up," cackled Mewtwo evilly.

Falcon and Ganondorf

"Don't... stop... running..." panted Ganondorf.

Roy and Snake

"MCXGMDGFDGFDGHKLK," screamed Roy, choking on a bagel. (This sentence was co-written with fellow fanfiction author 'Qool Q'... legal rights and whatnot)

At the U-Turn mat
4:16 pm Local Time

Falcon ran to the U-Turn mat, not looking up to see that someone was already U-Turned.

"Hurry, Ganon!" called out Falcon supportively, watching from the mat.

"Out of our way!" yelled Mewtwo, shoving Ganondorf to the ground.

Ganondorf pulled Lucario's tail as he passed him, knocking him to the ground with him.

Mewtwo teleported onto the mat, calling out support for his older brother.

Ganondorf and Lucario were locked in a fist fight on the ground.

"Somebody's already been U-Turned," noticed Mewtwo dryly, after looking at the board.

Lucario gingerly got off of Ganondorf and walked onto the mat, Ganondorf, following suit.

"Looks like the kids are screwed," smiled Falcon. "Heck, I didn't even know they were still in the race!"

"I am soooo happy right now..." said Mewtwo, looking as if he were on the verge of tears.

"Looks like the kids won't be joining us in the finals." said Lucario, trying to hide his excitement.

"Better them than us," said Ganondorf, smiling weakly.

Mewtwo and Lucario
Currently in 2nd Place

"You must now make your way to Oreburgh City..." read Mewtwo. "Using tandem bikes placed on the east exit of Jubilife."

"Looks like Roy and his clinically insane son have already been through here," said Mewtwo with disdain, noticing the callous destruction to the buildings nearby.

"...You can also tell by the U-Turn board," pointed out Mewtwo.

Lucario slapped him with the clue.

Falcon and Ganondorf
Currently in 3rd Place

"You must now make your way to Oreburgh City..." began Ganondorf.

"That was a pointless footrace," sighed Falcon, staring at the board.

"If it's any consolation, at least we have a secure spot in the final three," placated Ganondorf.

Toon Link and Jigglypuff
Currently in Last Place

"So this must be Floroama town," said Jigglypuff, as they entered what remained of the smoldering town.

"What happened here?" wondered Toon Link, watching some nearby houses burn.

"Snake," guessed Toon Link and Jigglypuff in unison.

Mewtwo and Lucario
Twin Brothers

"These must be the complimentary tandem bikes," began Mewtwo.

Both brothers hopped on the bike, and began pedaling off.

"Keep pedaling, the frat boys are literally right behind us." continued Lucario.

Falcon and Ganondorf
Fraternity Brothers

"There's the bikes, hurry and get on!" said Ganondorf, pulling the second-last one out from its rack.

"Keep them in your sights," began Falcon.

Mewtwo and Lucario
Twin Brothers

"Don't waste any time, the frat boys are somewhere behind us..." reminded Mewtwo, pedaling faster.

"Quit telling me," said Lucario testily.

"This is the first time I've told you," explained Mewtwo.

"I know, quit telling me!" yelled Lucario.

"What is your deal, man? I'm just giving you a heads-up and here you are, snapping at me!" said Mewtwo, finally tired of his brother's attitude.

"I've had a really rough day and I don't need any of this," sighed Lucario. "Just shut up, you whining flamboyant homosexual."

"Hey now! I'm as straight as a rainbow, damn it!" replied Mewtwo angrily.

"Rainbows aren't straight," noticed Lucario.

"Yeah well your face won't be either, when I'm through with it!" added Mewtwo, pushing his brother off the bike in anger.

Lucario fell into a ditch.

The frat boys drove past them.

"Damn it!" cursed Mewtwo.

Falcon and Ganondorf
Fraternity Brothers

"We're beating the twins! Let's just keep our level pacing and we should be good for the rest of the leg," analyzed Falcon, the lead on the bike for his team.

"Quit talking, start pedaling," said Ganondorf.

Oreburgh Mining Museum
4:30 pm Local Time

"We have exactly 1 hour left until we're allowed in," said Snake sourly.

"Relax, there's been nary a sight of a single team. Maybe nobody will show up!" said Roy optimistically.

"Yeah, maybe you're right..." mused Snake thoughtfully.

Mewtwo and Lucario
Twin Brothers

"Come back here, frats!" said Lucario, waving a fist at the frat boys.

Mewtwo pedaled faster, and they were level with the frats.

Lucario threw a bucket at Falcon, and knocked him off his bike.

Toon Link and Jigglypuff
On Grounded Down

"Okay, now we just need to-"

Koopa Troopa

"CUT! THEY'RE TOO BORING!" yelled Koopa angrily. "Put an ad break here!"

"There are no ad breaks left," explained some Shy guy assistant, "Something about one of the advertising actors being murdered and another on the lam or something..."

"Then how else do we fill in all these extra scenes?" questioned Koopa angrily.

Falcon and Ganondorf
Fraternity Brothers

"Man, we seriously need to find a way to get these guys off our backs." sighed Falcon, the twins almost directly behind them.

Oreburgh Mining Museum
4:57 pm Local Time

"Hey Snake, what time is it?" asked Roy curiously, picking himself up.

"4:58 pm," replied Snake, not even looking up from his book, War and Peace.

Roy decided to go back to sleep.

Mewtwo and Lucario

"I think we might have a problem," said Mewtwo, their bike somehow wedged into a tree.

Falcon and Ganondorf

"You know Falcon... you haven't really been that funny lately..." said Ganondorf randomly.

"I am too funny!" replied Falcon angrily. "What has two feet, yet can't walk?"

...

"A baby duckling," said Falcon.

...

"That was really lame," said Ganondorf.

Mewtwo and Lucario

"Looks like there's a cave up ahead." noticed Mewtwo, as a cave loomed in the distance.

Falcon and Ganondorf

"We should walk alongside the bike from here to the end of the cave..." explained Ganondorf, getting off the bike.

Mewtwo and Lucario

"Do what they do, we don't have time to think." said Mewtwo, copying the frats.

Toon Link and Jigglypuff
On Grounded Down

"You have to fill the entire basket." explained the instructor nearby.

"I can already tell this was a poor choice of a task..." sighed Jigglypuff, as she watched Toon Link watch more My Little Pony on his iPod.

Oreburgh City Entrance

Lucario was the first to appear out of the tunnel, closely followed by a dirty, filthy Mewtwo with the bike.

"Leave the bike here, we can run the rest of the way!" yelled Lucario, noticing the 'welcome to Oreburgh city' sign.

They left the bike and ran across the open turf.

The fraternity brothers ran out of the cave next, also covered in dirt.

Mewtwo and Lucario ran up to the Oreburgh mining museum, where Roy slept and Snake was sitting on the steps reading.

"What are you two doing here?" asked Snake, shocked at the presence of the twins.

Lucario ignored him, and walked past to read the sign on the door.

"Aww, you've got to be kidding me," said Lucario, hopelessness rising in him.

"At least we caught up to these guys." observed Mewtwo, pointing to the father and son.

Snake gave Mewtwo the bird.

"What's going on? Why is there no clue box?" asked Falcon, as he and Ganondorf ran up.

"It's 5:06 pm, we have to wait twenty-four minutes for the museum to open." explained Roy, who had woken from the noise.

"Great, just what those idiot kids need. A leg leveler." said Ganondorf pessimistically.

"Calm down, we U-Turned them earlier. If anything, it'll take them hours to get from one place to another." said Roy, casually lying back.

"Oh yeah? I'll bet you they're already done with that detour, and they're on their way right now to do the other side," argued Falcon.

Toon Link and Jigglypuff
On Grounded Down

"We have to fill this entire basket?" said Toon Link, looking outraged. "This is an outrage! This is tyranny!"

"At least the leg is almost over," said Jigglypuff optimistically.

...

"It is almost over, right?" asked Jigglypuff.

...

"Your silence is scaring me," admitted Jigglypuff.

Oreburgh Mining Museum
5:30 pm Local Time

The owner of the museum opened the doors, and the racers all ran in through the door in a pack, trampling the owner.

Falcon and Ganondorf
Currently in 1st Place

"You must now use the museum's computers..." read Falcon aloud.

"Teams must now use the museum's computers in order to find out what the local gym trainer's secret Pokémon is! The answer is: Cranidos. Teams are allowed to use any source they want to, but what is unknown to them is that Wikipedia, the source for information, is protesting SOPA's acts of censorship, and cannot be accessed today!" explained Koopa Troopa.

"Sweet, this'll be an easy task," smiled Ganondorf.

Roy and Snake
Currently in 2nd Place

"This is the first time in the entire leg that we haven't been in first," noticed Roy.

"Use the computers to find out the local gym trainer Roark's secret Pokémon..." read Snake disinterestedly.

"I know just the source to use!" said Roy dramatically. "...Wikipedia!"

Roy

"People say Wikipedia isn't a reliable source. I'll have ye know that everyday thousands of moderators check every single update done to a page recently to see if it is true about the article." explained Roy proudly. "...You're looking at one of those moderators."

Roy and Snake
Father and Son

"Oh god, don't start up with Wikipedia again," sighed Snake, shaking his head.

Roy looked hurt by Snake's statement.

Mewtwo and Lucario
Currently in 3rd Place

"Use the computers to find out the local gym trainer Roark's-" began Mewtwo.

"The answer is Cranidos," said Lucario to the museum owner.

"Correct," said the museum owner, handing them their next clue.

Mewtwo and Lucario
Currently in 1st Place

"Wow, that sure was easy!" smiled Mewtwo, accepting the clue. "Roadblock! Who is the real Pokémon master of the team?"

"Roadblock! A roadblock is a task only one person may perform. In this roadblock, teams have to defeat the Oreburgh City gym leader Roark! Once teams defeat him in a Pokemon battle, teams will receive their next clue! This may seem hard, but teams who have been training their Pokémon teams as they went through the course of the leg should do fine!" explained Koopa Troopa.

"Hmm, who should do this one?" asked Lucario sarcastically. "I think you should do it..."

"Not so fast brother!" said Mewtwo angrily. "Out of nine roadblocks we've done in the past, you've only done two... And I did the other seven! I say you do it."

"Alright... we'll flip a coin. That'll settle the argument of who does the roadblock," decided Lucario, taking out a double-sided tails coin. "I call tails!"

"Okay, and I'll take heads!" smiled Mewtwo, naive.

Lucario flipped the coin, and due to the fact it was a double-sided tails coin, landed on tails.

"Looks like you have to do it," said Lucario quickly, snatching the coin.

"How does he always beat me?" wondered Mewtwo to himself, as they stormed off to the local Pokémon gym.

Roy and Snake
Father and Son

"Okay son, what site are you supposed to go to whenever you're at a loss for words or you need to look up something?" asked Roy proudly, logging onto a nearby computer.

"You use Wikipedia," said Snake, looking annoyed. "The internet is so stupid..."

Roy went to Wikipedia, only for him to receive the anti-SOPA message.

"Damn it! The one time I need to look up something on Wikipedia," cursed Roy loudly. "And they decide to black it out for some stupid anti-censorship message! What are the odds!"

"I blame SOPA for all my life problems," sighed Snake.

Falcon and Ganondorf
Fraternity Brothers

Ganondorf cleared his throat. "So I'm thinking we're going to need to learn how to use our observation skills if we're going to-"

"AWWW YEAH! LEVEL 56 ON BTD3!1" screamed Falcon excitedly, playing random computer games.

Toon Link and Jigglypuff
On Grounded Down

"So you're saying we have to juice this stuff up now?" asked Toon Link.

"Yes," replied Jigglypuff.

"Oh okay. Though we need to be careful, I happen to be an Elurophobic." said Toon Link.

"What's that?" asked Jigglypuff, suddenly interested.

"The fear of cats." said Toon Link.

...

"Oh." said Jigglypuff.

...

"Say, why are you guys listed as High School students in the captions now?" asked the cameraman.

"Because we've been racing for so long, we're now freshmen in High school." replied Toon Link.

...

"Haha, freshmen." laughed the cameraman.

Roy and Snake
Father and Son

"Hey dad," said a high-pitched voice that didn't sound at all like Snake's, "You should totally turn off your computer and ruin our only chance of beating the unbelievably attractive frat boys..."

"Gee son, you sound very different right now," replied Roy, laughing. "Besides, I thought you went to the bathroom."

"I uh... have a throat cold," said the voice shiftily, "Besides, that's not the point. You should totally turn off your computer. Like, right now."

"Why would I do that? Silly Snakey!" laughed Roy playfully.

...

"Wait a second... How do I know this is Snake?" asked Roy, looking suspicious.

"Uh... because I know how to operate the internet," said the voice nervously.

"The joke's on you, Snake doesn't know how to use the internet," replied Roy pompously.

"Fine then!" replied the voice angrily. "I know how to kill people...with my bare hands."

The bookshelf nearby fell over, revealing Falcon.

Roy stared, unable to make the connection between the voice and Falcon.

"Uh... hello fellow racer..." said Falcon nervously.

Roy stared, unable to make the connection between the voice and Falcon.

"I was just... coming back from the bathroom..." said Falcon nervously.

Roy stared, unable to make the connection between the voice and Falcon.

"Yeah... the same one... that Snake went to..." said Falcon nervously.

Roy stared, unable to make the connection between the voice and Falcon.

"Oh by the way... he said for you... for you to turn off your computer and ruin your chances of beating us this leg..." said Falcon nervously.

Falcon and Ganondorf
Fraternity Brothers

"Did it work?" asked Ganondorf.

"No... he saw right through the disguise," said Falcon sadly, wearing a mask of Snake's face.

"That was our last good plan, too..." said Ganondorf.

Mewtwo
On Roadblock

"So all I have to do is fight this gym leader?" asked Mewtwo.

"Yes," replied Lucario.

"With just our one Pokemon, due to the fact we forgot to train it?" asked Mewtwo.

"Yes," replied Lucario.

...

"Can I just fight him as myself?" asked Mewtwo to the local producer.

The producer looked at the floating bar above Mewtwo's head, which read, Level 87.

"Uh, I don't think so... I'm pretty sure that'd be cheating..." said the producer nervously.

"You will let me cheat, and you will like it." said Mewtwo menacingly, choking the producer with his telekinesis.

"Okay... okay, you can fight using your telekinesis!" choked out the producer.

"Wow. That's the first time I've actually seen you resort to violence," said Lucario, actually proud of his brother's antics.

The twin brothers walked into the gym and confronted Roark.

"I challenge you to a battle!" smiled Roark.

"Shut up and send out your Pokémon already," said Mewtwo.

Roark threw out his first Pokemon, a Geodude Level 12.

"Wait... I have to fight a Mewtwo? Why can't I just capture you?" asked Roark.

"Because I have rights!" raged Mewtwo, "Pokémon for equality, damn it!"

Roark didn't listen; instead he was readying a master ball.

"D'aww, I can already tell this isn't going to end well..." sighed Lucario.

Roy and Snake
Father and Son

"I'm back from the bathroom," grinned Snake.

"So wait... that wasn't you just talking to me a mere two minutes ago?" pondered a confused Roy.

"Nope, I was busy taking a leak." said Snake.

Mewtwo
On Roadblock

Mewtwo avoided the Master ball.

"HA! Now you can no longer try to capture me! And it's my turn to attack!" laughed Mewtwo triumphantly, using the move psychic and killing the Geodude instantly.

"...Now it's my turn," smiled Roark menacingly, readying another Master ball.

"Where are you getting all of these?" asked Mewtwo, horrified.

Falcon and Ganondorf
Fraternity Brothers

"So apparently, according to this one site, the secret Pokemon is a Snivvy..." read Ganondorf.

"I don't think that's quite the answer," said Falcon.

"Don't be ridiculous! It's on officialnews dot com!" said Ganondorf, walking up to the museum owner.

"The answer is Snivvy," said a smug Ganondorf.

"I'm sorry, that is incorrect," said the museum owner.

Ganondorf dejectedly walked back to his computer.

Mewtwo
On Roadblock

Mewtwo narrowly managed to avoid the second Master ball.

"There!" panted Mewtwo, already exhausted, "Now it's my turn again!"

The psychic cat used Metronome, which chooses a random move, which chose karate chop.

It killed Roark's Onix instantly.

"I still have another one!" smiled Roark, brandishing a third Master ball.

"Seriously, this is getting old." frowned Mewtwo.

Lucario ate more popcorn as he watched the battle with huge interest.

Toon Link and Jigglypuff
Currently in Last Place

"Our idea of selling them dressed as street pharmacists worked!" smiled Jigglypuff, as the instructor nearby gave them a nod.

They made their way back to Jubilife City.

Mewtwo
On Roadblock

"If I miss this shot... I lose the battle and lose my only chance of ever catching a real Mewtwo," said Roark, raising the Master ball dramatically in the air.

Mewtwo covered his eyes.

Roark threw the Poke ball, but just before it could hit Mewtwo and capture him, the Starly that Mewtwo and Lucario had chosen as their Pokemon earlier in the leg jumped in the way, and took the Master ball for Mewtwo.

"...What just happened?" blinked Roark, looking dumbstruck.

"I have no idea," said Lucario, looking disappointed.

Mewtwo sighed a breath of relief, "Thanks for random plot hole devices..."

He used the move psychic, and killed Roark's Cranidos instantly.

Mewtwo and Lucario
Currently in 1st Place

"Make your way to the Pit stop," read Mewtwo as he excitedly ripped the clue open, "... Spear Pillar!"

"Teams must now make their way to the eleventh and final pit stop... Spear Pillar!" said Koopa with enthusiasm, "The location where some Pokémon trainer fought Team Galactic to save the legendary Pokémon, Dialga! Teams must hurry, as the last team to arrive, will be eliminated!"

"This is it, brother! After this pit stop, we race for the big million!" smiled Mewtwo, running out of the gym.

"But where is Spear Pillar?" wondered Lucario. "I've never heard of it before. We should hurry and find out where the heck it's at..."

"After all, we still have to get Jigglypuff eliminated, she destroyed my Pokémon of the Year award!" said Mewtwo angrily.

"I am very shocked you still remember that," said Lucario nervously, the one who actually had done the heinous deed.

"Pssh, it was only six legs ago," said Mewtwo casually.

Falcon and Ganondorf
Fraternity Brothers

"Okay, according to thetruthandnothingbutthetruth dot com, the secret Pokemon is Azurill!" said Ganondorf enthusiastically.

He walked up to the museum owner.

"The answer is Azurill," said Ganondorf with a grin.

"That's wrong. In fact, you aren't even close. Why would a gym leader living in a rocky, mine-filled location have a water-type Pokémon as his secret Pokémon?" asked the museum owner.

Ganondorf walked dejectedly back to his computer.

Roy and Snake
Father and Son

"Solid Marco Snake & Roman Roy Snake to the front desk," called out some local.

"That must be the assistant I hired." said Roy, walking up to the civilian.

"You said over the phone you needed information on a Pokémon?" asked the civilian.

"Yes we do. What is the secret Pokemon that Roark has in his Poke team?" asked Roy.

The civilian took off his glasses, and began, "Yes, well I do believe it would be the Pokemon Cranid-"

Snake took out a gun.

"Those were the last words my best friend ever said before he died, so I suggest you choose your next words very carefully," threatened Snake as he aimed his gun at the man.

Toon Link and Jigglypuff
Currently in Last Place

Toon Link and Jigglypuff were walking alongside the road when some old lady approached them.

"Hello young ladies... would you like to have a mysterious magical stone?" asked the old lady, "I'm selling at a decent price!"

"What type of mysterious magical stone?" asked Toon Link, trying to ignore the fact he was just called a girl.

"You mean there's more than one?" said Jigglypuff excitedly, a huge fan of mysterious magical stones.

"It's a moon stone." said the old lady. "I'm selling for 115 dollars."

"How convenient!" smiled Jigglypuff, "That's exactly how much we have!"

Toon Link, knowing how much Jigglypuff desired magical mysterious stones, quickly tried to talk her out of it, "No, Jigglypuff. Don't buy the stone, I promise you I'll buy you one once we're out of this race...-"

He noticed Jigglypuff playing with the Moon stone.

"...Jigglypuff? You didn't buy it... did you?" asked Toon Link nervously.

He noticed the lack of money in their money bag.

"Jigglypuff? Please tell me she gave that to you for free.." said Toon Link, his panic rising within him.

What? Jigglypuff is evolving!

"...What?" queried a confused Toon Link.

Jigglypuff started transforming, and after thirty seconds of rapidly shrinking in size and increasing in size, she transformed.

Congratulations! Your Jigglypuff evolved into a Wigglytuff!

"What just happend?" asked Toon Link.

Do you wish to give your Wigglytuff a nickname?

"Um... no?" replied Toon Link.

Mewtwo and Lucario
Currently in 1st Place

Lucario read the nearby sign, which read 'Mt. Coronet'.

"According to that old guy (who you can only see in the extra scenes on the Extra Smashy Amazing Race: Season two DVD box set, buy it today), this is it." said Lucario.

"So now we just go to the top?" queried Mewtwo.

"Yes," replied Lucario.

"I have just the idea," cackled Mewtwo evilly.

Falcon and Ganondorf
Fraternity Brothers

"Okay, the answer is definitely Cranidos..." said Ganondorf.

"Let me guess," said Falcon sarcastically, "You got it off of some fake website where they claim to have true information..."

"Like Wikipedia?" suggested Ganondorf.

Roy, who was on the other side of a shelf nearby, looked as if his first-born just died.

"Whatever. Obviously it isn't from a real source, so don't even bother using that suggestion for the Pokémon!" yelled Falcon angrily.

"Fine!" said Ganondorf angrily, pouting.

Toon Link and Wigglytuff
Currently in Last Place

"So I guess you're a Wigglytuff from now on..." said Toon Link, trying to start a conversation.

"Yeah, sure." said Wigglytuff.

They walked through the north entrance of Jubilife City.

"Now we just need to reach the U-Turn, and we should be good..." said Toon Link.

The U-Turn was five yards away.

"Well that was easy," smiled Wigglytuff.

They approached the board, and both gasped in horror.

"Oh no! Roy and Snake U-Turned us!" said Toon Link, looking as if he was about to cry.

"I know, the nerve of those rascals!" said Wigglytuff angrily. "I mean, we're already clearly in last place!"

Toon Link took out his sword.

Roy and Snake
Father and Son

"Okay, the Pokemon is Cranidos," said Snake.

They approached the museum owner.

"The answer is Cranidos," said Roy.

"That is correct." smiled the museum owner, handing them the clue.

Toon Link and Wigglytuff
U-Turned

"WHY US! WHY GOD, WHY?" screamed Toon Link, as he and Wigglytuff set out for Canalave City.

"Oh well, if anything... at least we're getting lots of exercise with all this walking!" said Wigglytuff optimistically.

"You're an idiot, Wigglytuff!" yelled Toon Link. "This is all your fault, I hate you!"

Roy and Snake
Currently in 2nd Place

"Roadblock!" read Snake, "Who is the real Pokémon master of the team?"

"I'll do it, you've already done five out of nine." replied Roy.

Toon Link and Wigglytuff
U-Turned

They were already in Canalave City.

"How are we already here?" asked Toon Link angrily. "We still had another four or five scene transitions left!"

"We took the bus. Ergo, the author got lazy." explained Wigglytuff.

"Oh," said Toon Link, looking somewhat more optimistic.

Mewtwo and Lucario
Currently in 1st Place

"I think that Spear Pillar is on the other side of that rock wall," pointed out Mewtwo.

"But how will we get up there?" asked Lucario anxiously.

Mewtwo grabbed his hand, and teleported both of them to the top of the wall.

"...Oh," said Lucario.

Falcon and Ganondorf
Currently in 3rd Place

"What they said... Cranidos," said Ganondorf.

"That is correct, here is your next clue." said the museum owner.

Falcon ripped it open, and read aloud, "Roadblock!"

"I'll do it, you've done five and I've only done four." explained Ganondorf. "Too bad you're like, more competent at this than I am."

Roy
On Roadblock

The father timidly threw out a Poké ball, and out came Sudowoodo.

Roark threw out his Geodude.

"So uh, how do we decide who goes first?" asked Roy.

Roark had already taken twenty turns.

"I guess it's my turn then," said Roy, noticing the unconscious Sudowoodo.

Spear Pillar
6:51 PM Local Time

The twins ran into the room.

"The pit stop!" said Mewtwo dramatically.

They walked onto the mat in a very slow and annoying fashion.

"Welcome to Sinnoh," said the local greeter who was Cyrus the Team Galactic leader.

"Team Mewtwo and Lucario, you are-"

"NOOOOOES, ANYTHING BUT THAT!1" screamed Mewtwo desperately.

"What was that for?" asked Koopa incredulously.

"Oh, I had been saving that in case we ever got eliminated," explained Mewtwo.

"Well I don't think that's ever going to happen, because Mewtwo and Lucario, you are team number one!" said Koopa Troopa dramatically. "And I have good news for you... you two have won a free copy of The Extra Smashy Amazing Race: Season two DVD box set, which you two will be able to enjoy at the end of the show!"

Mewtwo and Lucario didn't hear, they were too busy dancing with excitement.

And I've got even more good news for you: you are the first of three teams who will get to race to the finish line, for one million dollars!" finished Koopa.

Mewtwo and Lucario high-fived each other.

"Me and Mewtwo are going to be bringing home the million, that's all I'm saying," said Lucario with a grin on his face.

Roy
On Roadblock

"Use Ominous Wind," said Roy to his Drifblim.

It used Ominous Wind, damaging Roark's Onix.

Ganondorf
On Roadblock

"I have to wait for him to finish his Pokemon battle first?" asked Ganondorf resolutely towards Roy.

"...Yes," said the worker monotonously.

Roy
On Roadblock

"Is it supposed to be stiff like that?" asked Roy confusedly, about Roark's dead Onix.

"That's what she said," replied Roark off-handedly.

Ganondorf
On Roadblock

"At this rate, those kids will catch up if it keeps up this way!" complained Ganondorf.

Toon Link and Wigglytuff
On Watered Down

"This task is easy, because my weight is so light!" smiled Wigglytuff, claiming the clue attached to the buoy.

"Now if we can just continue running through the leg at this pace..." said Toon Link hopefully.

Roy
On Roadblock

"So why can't I just kill your Pokémon myself? Why do I have to fight Pokémon with other Pokémon?" asked Roy curiously.

"Uh... because it's against the rules?" suggested Roark nervously.

Roy was too busy decapitating Roark's last Pokémon to hear what he was saying.

Roy and Snake
Completed Roadblock

"Make your way to the Pit stop, Spear Pillar..." read Roy. "Hard to believe it's already the last pit stop."

"And the last elimination!" grinned Snake, glad that the eliminated team was going to be either the frats or the kids at the rate things were going.

Ganondorf
On Roadblock

"I don't know if I should be relieved that he's already finished, or if I should be extremely worried at this rate," said Ganondorf, looking dumbstruck as he walked forward to fight the gym trainer.

Toon Link and Wigglytuff
Currently in Last Place

"Now we just need to sprint back to Jubilife," said Toon Link nervously.

"Do you think we can still catch up to someone?" asked Wigglytuff.

"We might just make this," said Toon Link.

Ganondorf
On Roadblock

Ganondorf threw out his only Pokémon, Chimchar.

"Oh no, we forgot to train our only Pokémon!" said Ganondorf dramatically.

"Looks like this is going to take a long while," sighed Falcon as he tried to sit back and watch the battle.

Toon Link and Wigglytuff
Currently in Last Place

"This is going to take a long-ass time to get there," complained Toon Link.

"Maybe we should hitchhike," suggested Wigglytuff.

"When is that ever going to do us any good?" asked Toon Link angrily.

Ganondorf
On Roadblock

Ganondorf's only Pokémon, a Level 6 Chimchar, was knocked unconscious from a single blow.

"Oh, come on," said Ganondorf angrily.

"Looks like you're going to have to train your Pokémon if you're going to fight me," said Roark with a smug grin.

Toon Link and Wigglytuff
Currently in Last Place

"Okay, maybe we should hitchhike," decided Toon Link, noticing they had to journey across open waters.

Ganondorf
On Roadblock

"How does one train a Pokemon, and quickly?" asked Ganondorf.

"Just take him out to the closest open grass field, and train him quickly!" said Falcon angrily.

"Okay, I'll be back." said Ganondorf, running out of the room with his Chimchar.

Toon Link and Wigglytuff
Currently in Last Place

"I have an idea," said Wigglytuff.

...

"I SAID I HAVE AN IDEA," said Wigglytuff.

"I know that, I'm just choosing to ignore you." explained Toon Link.

Roy and Snake
Father and Son

"We have to find Spear Pillar somewhere up there?" queried Roy, taking one look at the mountain and vomiting.

"Hello, local tourists!" said some nearby local. "Do you two need help in finding Spear Pillar?"

"Those were the last words my fourth best friend ever said before he died, so I suggest you choose your next words very carefully," threatened Snake as he aimed his gun at the man.

Ganondorf
On Roadblock

"So I just run around in circles in this small grass field until a Pokemon comes out and fights me?" asked Ganondorf, somewhat amused.

"Yes," said Falcon angrily.

Ganondorf ran around in circles.

Only half a minute later, a wild Geodude attacked.

"Hah, now we just fight it with my Chimchar!" said Ganondorf, throwing out his Chimchar.

Roy and Snake
Father and Son

The father and son ran out of the tunnel exit and arrived at Spear Pillar, the ruins of the sanctuary for Dialga.

"There's the pit stop," said Roy tiredly.

He and his son jokingly punched each other on the shoulder as they ran onto the mat.

"Team Roy and Snake, you are team number two!" said Koopa Troopa. "And I've got good news for you: you are the second of three teams who will get to race to the finish line, for one million dollars!" finished Koopa.

"We finally made it," said Roy with relief, sitting down from exhaustion.

Snake angrily took out a gun and loaded it.

"Those were the last words my thirteenth best friend ever said before he died, so I suggest you choose your next words very carefully," threatened Snake as he aimed his gun at Koopa Troopa.

Ganondorf
On Roadblock

"How many times do I have to fight wild Pokémon before Chimchar is a high enough level?" asked Ganondorf to Falcon.

Falcon merely shrugged.

Toon Link and Wigglytuff
Currently in Last Place

They ran all the way back to the U-Turn mat in Jubilife. Hey, don't expect me to write commentary for them on everything.

"You must now make your way to Oreburgh City, using tandem bikes placed on the east exit of Jubilife." read Wigglytuff aloud.

"Finally, no more walking," sobbed Toon Link with relief.

Ganondorf
On Roadblock

"Come on, Ganondorf! This is the last time we have to go through this pit stop crap, and you can't even pull yourself together?" asked Falcon angrily.

"I'm sorry, it's just that training a Pokemon is harder than I thought!" replied Ganondorf desperately.

"Aargh, at this rate those kids are going to be catching up any time now," said Falcon hopelessly.

Toon Link and Wigglytuff
Currently in Last Place

"Here are the tandem bikes!" said Wigglytuff, "Now we just pedal to Oreburgh city!"

They hopped on the tandem bikes.

Ganondorf
On Roadblock

"Now take your Chimchar to the Poke center, heal it, then take it to the gym and fight him again!" said Falcon angrily.

They began running back into town.

Toon Link and Wigglytuff
Currently in Last Place

"Happy John Bosco day!" said Wigglytuff to some locals as they pedaled by.

"Do you like, research random holidays up and tell everyone a happy holidays?" asked Toon Link angrily.

"Do you cut yourself in the bathroom when nobody's looking?" asked Wigglytuff angrily.

"...Yes," sobbed Toon Link uncontrollably.

Ganondorf
On Roadblock

"This roadblock is insanely difficult!" said Ganondorf furiously, walking back to the gym.

"I knew I should have done this task," said Falcon angrily.

Toon Link and Wigglytuff
High School Students

"I don't think we're going to get through this cave on our bike," said Toon Link as he looked at the upcoming cave in the distance, growing ever closer.

...

The sound of rabid wolves could be heard in the distance.

"Damn it, I thought that was all over by now!" said Toon Link angrily.

Ganondorf
On Roadblock

"Okay dude, I'm like, here to fight you again." said Ganondorf, looking angry.

Roark shrugged and threw out his Geodude.

Ganondorf threw out his Monferno, which was Level 16.

"Now let's battle!" said Ganondorf, smiling evilly.

"Too bad rock-type is super effective against fire-type," said Roark.

"NOOOOOOOOOOOES!1oneone" screamed Ganondorf in desperation.

Toon Link and Wigglytuff
High School Students

"So this is Oreburgh," said Wigglytuff, as they walked out of the cave alongside their bike.

She noticed the filthy living conditions of the local population.

"I hate this place! I want to leave already!" complained Wigglytuff girlishly.

Fifteen scene transitions later...

Ganondorf
On Roadblock

"Okay, I finally leveled up my Monferno to an Infernape!" smiled Ganondorf. "Now let's fight him!"

"Or maybe we should just capture a Water type Pokémon and fight his Pokémon with it," said Falcon bitterly.

"What good is that going to do? Besides, my Infernape is like, ten levels higher than Roark's highest ranking Pokémon!" retorted Ganondorf.

Toon Link and Wigglytuff
High School Students

"I think we've reached a predicament," said Toon Link casually.

They walked inside the museum and read the next clue.

"Okay, we just need to find a computer and use it to find out exactly what type of Pokemon it is," said Wigglytuff.

Ganondorf
On Roadblock

He lost again to Roark. What a shame.

"How many times am I going to have to level my Infernape before I can beat the first gym trainer?" screamed Ganondorf in desperation.

They ran out to the nearby grass field.

Toon Link and Wigglytuff
High School Students

"The answer is Cranidos," said Wigglytuff flatly.

"Roadblock! Who is the real Pokémon master of the team?" read Toon Link. "We've both done five each. How are we going to decide who does the next task?"

"I know!" said Wigglytuff, "We'll flip a coin!"

"That idea was already used," replied Toon Link.

Ganondorf
On Roadblock

"Look, just capture the next water-type Pokemon you see, we don't have time for this!" said Falcon angrily.

"Okay, fine! I'll take your stupid advice that will never work," said Ganondorf dramatically.

"Why are you emphasizing certain words?" asked Falcon.

Wigglytuff
On Roadblock

"Okay, we're here!" smiled Wigglytuff, readying her Pokémon ball.

"WHY DO I KEEP FIGHTING POKEMON?" cried Roark in confusion.

The sound of rabid wolves could be heard in the distance.

"Oh, come on! I wasn't even supposed to be in the scene this time!" yelled Toon Link angrily.

Ganondorf
On Roadblock

"If this doesn't work... we're screwed," said Ganondorf, readying a Poké ball.

A random Buizel happened to be walking by, and the frat boy threw his Poké ball, missed, hit a tree, and it bounced back and hit the Buizel.

"Okay, that was pretty cool," admitted Falcon.

Wigglytuff
On Roadblock

"We use Rollout!" said Wigglytuff.

Wigglytuff's Turtwig did not recognize the command.

"And what am I doing wrong?" asked Wigglytuff angrily.

Roark made his Geodude use Iron fist, which killed the Turtwig instantly.

"Ugh, we need to come up with a plan if we're going to beat this guy," said Wigglytuff.

Ganondorf
On Roadblock

"Hmm, let's go in through the back entrance," decided Ganondorf.

Wigglytuff
On Roadblock

"Wigglytuff, is that you?" said a hopeful Toon Link, standing outside, waiting for his partner.

"Nope, Chuck Testa," said Chuck Testa, from behind the cardboard cut-out of Wigglytuff.

"Dude, your memes are really lame," said Toon Link angrily. "... And annoying."

Ganondorf
On Roadblock

The frat boys ran in through the back entrance as the other team went out through the front.

"Gosh, good thing those kids aren't here yet, and especially didn't leave the room just now in a feverish attempt to beat the roadblock," said Falcon, smiling.

"Was that really necessary?" asked Ganondorf, throwing the Pokemon ball containing Buizel.

At the sight of Buizel, Roark flinched and immediately handed over the clue.

Falcon and Ganondorf
Completed Roadblock

"What just happened?" asked Ganondorf and Falcon at the same time.

"...yyyyeaaah, that battle was pretty much in your favor the moment that horrible beast emerged from its lair..." said Roark, looking traumatized.

The frat boys did their trademark frat five, then ripped open the clue.

"Make your way to the Pit stop, Spear Pillar." read Falcon.

"Unless those kids walk through that front door right now, there is no way we're going to get eliminated!" said Ganondorf, laughing at their great fortune.

Wigglytuff
On Roadblock

The high school students were just about to walk inside the gym, when another old lady approached them.

"Good morning young men," said the old lady. "Would you two like to have some candy?"

"Last time we got something from an old lady, it didn't exactly bode well for me," whispered Wigglytuff into Toon Link's ear.

"What could go wrong? Besides, I'm pretty sure it's better than anything else we can have at this rate..." decided Toon Link. "Fifty bucks for whatever it is you're selling!"

She handed over some twenty-odd Rock candies, and walked away.

"Here, eat this." said Toon Link, handing them to Wigglytuff.

She ate the entire bag in one gulp, and leveled up to an insanely high level.

"This is rock candy! You level up every time you eat one!" said Wigglytuff excitedly.

Falcon and Ganondorf
Fraternity Brothers

"All we need to do is get a running stretch going, and we're good to go to the pit stop." explained Falcon, stretching his legs.

They were in the middle of a good stretch when the last two people they ever expected to see walk through the front door of the Oreburgh gym walked through the front door.

"Who's ready to party?" said Tom Cruise and Jennifer Anniston.

And then, just when things were looking up, the second-last two people they ever expected to see walk through the front door of the Oreburgh gym walked through the front door... and they weren't celebrities.

"Toon Link and... a Wigglytuff?" said both of the frat boys in horror.

"Wow, we actually caught up to another team!" smiled Wigglytuff.

The frat boys left without a word.

Wigglytuff
On Roadblock

"Huh, I wonder what their problem was..." wondered Wigglytuff. "No matter. Time to finish you, Roark!"

She posed for dramatic effect.

"Yeah right... what are you going to be able to do?" laughed Roark.

Wigglytuff started singing using her Up-B move.

Roark was unaffected.

...

She punched him in the jaw, knocking him out. Wigglytuff then proceeded to draw on his face, steal his wallet, and take the next clue.

Toon Link and Wigglytuff
Completed Roadblock

"Make your way to the Pit stop, Spear Pillar!" read Toon Link. "This is the last time we'll have a chance of being eliminated, we can't lose to the frats!"

The background behind the boy turned dark, as he added, "Because this will be the last sunrise either of us will ever see if we lose this race..."

Falcon and Ganondorf

Both frats were already sprinting up north and out of Oreburgh, by the time the kids had finished the task.

"Don't... stop... running..." panted Ganondorf, already out of breath.

"Let's head that way, I think that's the way to Mt. Coronet!" said Falcon, pointing to a pathway ahead.

High-pitched string music played.

Toon Link and Wigglytuff

"Hurry... uh... Wiggs... yeah, that sounds about right," said Toon Link.

"Maybe we can still catch up to the frat guys!" said Wigglytuff hopefully.

Twenty scene transitions later...It's really hard to write all this, okay? Give me a break...

Spear Pillar, Pit Stop
8:45 PM Local Time

The frat boys ran out onto Spear Pillar, and noticed the pit stop.

"There it is, all we have to do is cross over to the mat and we're in the finale," said Falcon, looking hopeful.

They were just about to make a run for it when the kids walked out from the same entrance they had come from.

"No so fast, frat brothers!" said Wigglytuff evilly. "You still have us to deal with!"

"But... but we could just cross over to the pit stop and we'd win," said Ganondorf tiredly, eyeing the mat which was lying only a few feet away.

"Well... yeah, but that wouldn't be very fair," said Wigglytuff, trying to come up with a decent argument.

"Okay, but how are we going to decide who gets onto the mat and goes on to the finale?" asked Ganondorf.

Falcon suggested, "I say we all run together, holding hands, and run onto the mat together so they can't eliminate either of us-"

The other three racers threw their backpacks at him.

"I know just the thing..." said Toon Link deviously, drawing his sword. "We can have a duel! Just like old times! Take ten paces and then we-"

"FALCON PAAAAUNCH!1" screamed Falcon, punching Toon Link in the face, sending him flying backwards and walking onto the mat.

Before Wigglytuff could intervene, Ganondorf gave them the bird with enthusiasm and crossed onto the mat.

"Team Falcon and Ganondor- can you please lower that?" asked Koopa irately.

"Hold on a sec, I need to savor this", said Ganondorf, with his finger still in the air.

...

"Okay I'm good," said Ganondorf, satisfied, lowering his middle finger.

"Team Falcon and Ganondorf, you are team number three!" said Koopa. "And I've got good news for you; you are the third and final, of three teams who will get to race to the finish line... for one million dollars!"

"HYESZ!" said Falcon, doing a salute.

"I'm so excited right now," said Ganondorf, grinning.

Toon Link and Wigglytuff looked too traumatized to reply to anything as they walked onto the mat.

"Team Toon Link and... Wigglytuff... you are the last team to arrive, and I'm not sorry at all to tell you that you have been eliminated from the race," said Koopa, looking immensely relieved at their demise.

"למה אנחנו צריכים לצאת החוצה, למה כמו זה? , הדבר הגרוע ביותר של כל, מדוע היה צהוב גיא נאלצו לעזוב אותנו, למה?" cried Wigglytuff in a dramatic fashion. "אם בכלל, לפחות היה לנו כיף."

The sound of rabid wolves could be heard in the distance.

Toon Link slowly took out his iPhone and turned it on.

"I want to find the closest bridge to jump off of," whispered Toon Link into the phone.

"I found four bridges very close to your current location," replied the iPhone, uploading fastest routes to the bridges.

Toon Link started sobbing uncontrollably as several anti-suicidal watchmen took him and Wigglytuff away.

Final Three Commentaries

Falcon and Ganondorf
Fraternity Brothers

"Honestly, we didn't think we'd make it this far. And we also never thought we'd end up winning two legs," said Ganondorf, smiling. "But we're heading into the finale with our heads held high!"

"If we continue flying under the radar like we have been doing for most of the race, I feel we're going to win that million dollars!" added Falcon hastily, doing a cheesy thumbs up.

Roy and Snake
Father and Son

"Next leg, there's no penalties," said Snake, grinning evilly.

"Even though we've been penalized about four times for petty mistakes, there's nothing that can hold us back next leg. So you better watch out guys!" said Roy menacingly.

"No penalties... no boundaries." said Snake, still grinning evilly. "This will be great..."

Mewtwo and Lucario
Twin Brothers

"We're the only team to win three legs so far, and we plan on winning the finale as our fourth," explained Mewtwo. "And nothing is going to keep us away from winning!"

"You're looking at the winners of the race, guys," said Lucario arrogantly, shooting both birds at the camera.

Finish Times:

Mewtwo and Lucario: 6:52 PM

Roy and Solid Snake: 7:19 PM

Falcon and Ganondorf: 8:45 PM

Toon Link and Wigglytuff: 8:48 PM - Eliminated!

For the record, This leg may or may not have been co-written with Fanfiction author Qool Q.

You know the drill by now. There's nothing left but the finale, so this'll be my last commentary, so be positive sure to tell me who you think should win, and tell me why. Don't forget to tell me who you're rooting for before it's all over and it might make a difference. And don't forget to whine about how your favorite didn't make it to the Finale.

Thank you for everyone who has read to this far, despite my lengthy breaks between most of the legs. Oh, and happy John Bosco Day?