Chapter Ten – Clarity

Cause you are the piece of me
I wish I didn't need
Chasing relentlessly
Still fight and I don't know why
If our love is tragedy why are you my remedy
If our love's insanity why are you my clarity.

"So why don't you need the sword this time? Because last time you needed the sword to do this?" Caroline asked skeptically as she stood in an empty classroom. On the desk between her and Bonnie laid a world map, waiting to be spelled. Caroline was still hesitant about Bonnie's involvement in this situation. She trusted her best friend, but where Klaus was concerned, she wasn't exactly sure Bonnie would always tell the truth. Caroline had volunteered to help her with the spell. It had been a stressful week with Connor on the loose. Everyone had been on edge, wondering when the hunter would make his move once again. Their focus had been on finding him, all plans for the swords had been put on hold until he was safely in the holding cell in the Salvatore's basement, but after he made no moves within a week, they had no choice but to push forward. Caroline was still uneasy about it. Either Connor was bidding his time and waiting to make a move when they least expected it or he had left town to avoid them all. Both options were bad for Caroline. Tyler was most notably on edge. Everyone knew he would be the first person Connor went after if and when he made his move. They hybrids that had been stationed at the Lockwood mansion had been pulled back after Klaus deemed that Tyler wasn't worth protecting.

"I've already done the spell once so I have the essence of the sword already. Since the swords are spelled so they can't be found all at once or all by the same person, the spells are tricky. Witches wanted to counter this spell as much as possible. I don't understand it myself, if the cure is really real, it doesn't make much sense for them not to want to use it," Bonnie commented, smoothing out the map on the table. Caroline raised an eyebrow but said nothing. Bonnie was right, if the cure was everything it was cracked up to be, then why did the witches work so hard to make sure that no one could find it? She was already suspicious, but now she felt them just.

"Why would they want to keep it away from us?" she asked, testing the waters to see how much Bonnie knew.

"I'm not sure exactly. Witches are vengeful. They think vampires and werewolves should be punished, even if sometimes it isn't their fault or they haven't done anything wrong. Witches see the world in black and white, Caroline. You know that much already. If there is a cure, they want you to earn it," Bonnie suggested.

"Well that's helpful. I don't know why I expected anything less though. I guess having the cure gift wrapped and hand delivered if probably a little too much to ask?" she said with a small laugh.

"Unfortunately, the witches from the other side aren't exactly in the business of doing favors. They are still punishing me for bringing Jeremy back to life and that was almost a year ago. They hold grudges and as far as vampires are concerned, it's the whole race they hate."

"That's comforting." Caroline sighed, setting her hands on the desk. "Let's just get the spell over with. I'm going to try not to get my hopes up about this working on any level. I don't know how Stefan feels about this cure, but I wonder if we're just humoring Klaus sometimes."

"How is he going to react if the cure isn't real?" Bonnie asked, pausing in her preparations to look up to Caroline.

"I honestly have no idea, but it's not going to be good. It's kind of sad really. I mean his whole life revolves around making these hybrids. He's been alive for a thousand years and he's just miserable because he's alone and he's spent all of his time trying to make these things. Now it's just gone," Caroline said before looking up to see Bonnie's confused expression.

"Did you just sympathize with Klaus?" Bonnie asked, her voice dripping with disgust.

"No, I'm just saying that it's kind of depressing and a little sad," Caroline said, crossing her arms over her chest.

"You've been spending way too much time with him and Stefan. I can't wait to get this over with so I can get you away from him and we can all get back to normal. Maybe if he accepts that Elena is a vampire and there's nothing that can be done about it, he will leave town. There's nothing left for him here. He's just wasting his time. The last thing I need is for him to kidnap you again," Bonnie said, before lighting a match.

"Yeah, maybe," Caroline said quietly. It struck her as odd. That feeling in her chest when Bonnie spoke about him kidnapping her. She opened her mouth to protest; Klaus wouldn't kidnap her again, but thought better of it and remained silent. Klaus was a lot of things, horrible things, but he seemed to respect her decisions. With the exception of the trip to Italy, he had never forced her hand at anything. He could have compelled her or threatened her to get his way, but he didn't. She hadn't considered that Klaus would leave town. If there was no chance of turning Elena back to her former self, would Klaus stick around? She wouldn't blame him for leaving. This town was like the center of a vortex that took away the happiness of everyone who touched it. If it wasn't for her mother and friends, she wouldn't be there. Mystic Falls represented everything about her past and getting away from that seemed smart. Perhaps Klaus had the right idea in all of his attempts to leave town. Most days she thought they would all be safer away from this town.

"Here is it," Bonnie said, handing Caroline a scrap of people.

Caroline took it into her hands and stared at it for a moment before looking up at Bonnie, "Really?"

"The magic doesn't lie. That's kind of the beauty of it," Bonnie said, putting her books back in her bag and pulling it over her shoulders.

"But New York City? What would a sword be doing in New York? What would a hunter be doing there? I mean the rest were in Europe and now all of the sudden one is three hours away. It seems too good to be true."

"Well it is true. We just don't know where in Manhattan is it and it's a big island. Not to mention it's all concrete. Is Klaus going to tear down the Empire State Building to find this thing?" Caroline asked, shoving the piece of paper into her pocket as the two of them walked towards the door.

"I wouldn't put it past him, would you?"

Caroline sighed, shaking her head. "Not really."

"Caroline!" The blonde froze and glanced over at Bonnie.

"Maybe if we keep walking he won't think it's you."

"That's entirely possible."

"You know I can hear you talking right?" Tyler asked from behind them, jogging to catch up with her and Bonnie.

"I have to go. My dad is coming home today," Bonnie said, giving Caroline a sympathetic look before walking off.

Caroline stared at her, the betrayal fresh in her eyes before turning back to Tyler. How could Bonnie possibly justify leaving her there alone with Tyler? Her father could wait five minutes so that Caroline didn't have to be there. There had to be something in the best friend handbook about this and Caroline was not the least bit amused. "This is really not a good time, Tyler." She crossed her arms over her chest, glaring at him.

"Just give me five minutes, I really do need to talk to you," he asked, his eyes pleading with her.

She sighed, silently weighing her options and trying to decide if she could think of a good enough excuse on the fly to get out of having this conversation. She closed her eyes tightly for a moment, shaking her head, "Fine," she finally spat out. She looked up at him, a stern look overtaking her face, "but you have five minutes. Literally five minutes, then I'm leaving. I have more important things to do then listen to you feel sorry for me because you cheated."

"That's not what I'm going to do," Tyler said. He stared at his hands for a moment and she couldn't quite read his expression.

"Your five minutes is dwindling." She raised her eyebrows challengingly.

"I'm sorry, okay?" Tyler burst before reining it back in. He took a deep breath and ran his hands over his face. "I'm sorry," he said again in a much quieter tone. "I made a mistake with Hayley. I should have never gone there. Not when you were waiting at home. I don't know how it happened or why it happened, but it did and I can't take it back. All I can do is apologize, genuinely, because you didn't deserve this. You didn't deserve to be hurt like this."

"You're right. I didn't. I didn't deserve any of this," she said, shaking her head. "It's not the cheating that bothered me. I mean it did, don't get me wrong, but more than that, it was how much I wanted to help and how far you went to deny me that right as your girlfriend to be there for the person I cared about. I just wanted to be there for you and you went somewhere else."

"I didn't mean to, Care. I thought I could do it on my own. I wanted to, for you. I wanted to come back and be everything you needed me to be, free from Klaus, but I couldn't do it. Hayley was there and she helped and somewhere along the way, I fell for her. It's horrible and it was-"

"A dick move," Caroline butted in.

"It was," he sighed.

"You really love her, don't you?" Caroline asked.

"I don't know if I love her, but I know that I need her. She just understands me, everything I'm going through all of the time. I know she's not a hybrid, but I already understand the vampire side. It's the wolf I've never gotten and she makes it all make sense."

Caroline nodded. As angry as she was with him for cheating on her, a small part of her understood, she wasn't close to forgiving him and she didn't think they would ever be friends again, but at least she got it. "It's funny how that works," she said, looking down at the ground. "Sometimes what you need and what you want are two completely different things and it doesn't matter how hard you try to force it, you'll never be able to fit a square peg through a round hole. I think no matter how hard we tried or how much it worked at the beginning, that's kind of what we were." She nodded, taking a deep breath.

"That's not exactly what I would say, but I think that works," Tyler said, giving her a confused expression.

They stayed quiet for a few minutes before Caroline took a deep breath and looked over at him. "Thank you for apologizing." She adjusted her bag on her shoulder, fumbling with her keys. "If Hayley is what you need then on some weird level I'm happy for you."

"Does that mean you forgive me?"

"No, I still don't really want to be anywhere near you right now and I'm still resisting the urge to punch again you with a lot of difficulty right now," Caroline said, shaking her head, "But I hate you just a little bit less now." She nodded once before turning towards the door and slipping behind the driver's seat of her car. She tried not to think about it. Even Tyler, who had done the worst thing she could possibly think of, was happy and she couldn't help but we happy for him. It didn't mean she didn't want to punch him or Hayley on sight, but she found she couldn't quite bring herself to hate them completely. If this was what growing up felt like, she wasn't sure she liked it.

Once she stopped her car, she looked up at the house she was parked in front of. She had promised she would let him know where the next sword was after they were done with the spell, she just hadn't expected to run into Tyler on the way. Shaking off whatever she was feeling, she wandered into the house, looking around the first floor. On a whim, she headed up the stairs towards the room she had found the sketches in earlier. He was standing in front of a large canvas, painting knife in his hand as he smeared a bit of yellow paint across the stark white canvas. She crossed her arms and leaned against the door way watching him for a minute; the way his back flexed underneath his fitted sweater when he reached for more paint and his hand moved with the most delicate motion as he dabbed the canvas.

"It's rude to stare, Caroline," he said without turning around. She nearly jumped out of her skin when he spoke. She felt silly for not assuming he would know she was there watching him. He was a thousand year old hybrid, Caroline could sense when someone walked into the room before she turned into a vampire.

"I-I just did the spell with Bonnie. We know where the next sword is," she said, stumbled over her words for a moment before recovering.

He set down the painting knife before turning around to face her, "Anywhere interesting or will we be digging through the dessert again?"

She took a few steps forward, pulling the scrap of paper from her pocket. "New York City. Bonnie didn't have specifics, but it's somewhere on the island." She offered it to him.

"Well that should be easy to find," he scoffed, looking down at the burnt shred of map she had handed him.

"I'm sure we'll figure it out."

"Are you alright, Caroline? You seem a little off," he questioned, wiping the oil paint from his hands as he spoke to her.

"I'm fine, just had a weird run in with Tyler on the way over here." She shook her head before looking up to him, "Did you just call me Caroline?

"I was under the impression that was your name," he spoke sardonically. "Now what did Tyler do this time?

"No, I know, that," she said dumbfounded before shaking off her confusion. "Nothing. He apologized." Her brow creased in thought, hesitating for a moment before going on, "You just always call me love or sweetheart, I don't recall you actually using my name before."

"You don't seem to enjoy my terms of endearment, I thought perhaps you would prefer your given name," he suggested setting down the rag.

"Oh," she said simply. He eyes lingering on the floor for a moment before looking up at him. "You missed a spot." She pointed at his cheek, watching him as he wiped it with his hand. She frowned, "You still didn't...here." Tentatively, she reached her hand up, sweeping her thumb under his left eye and wiping away the dark paint. She wiped it on his rag before her eyes returned to his, which were still fixed upon her. Her eyes flicked down to his lips for a fraction of a second before returning to his, her breath bated. "Do you think it's real?" she asked, tucking a blonde curl behind her ear as she tried to focus on anything but his lips. "The cure I mean?" She had asked him about the cure before, but his answer had not been very helpful.

"I would like to hope so," he said honestly, letting out a breath he had not realized he was holding. "We won't know until we get there, I suppose."

She bit her lip contemplating this answer for a moment, "It's just something Bonnie said made me think. If it's really a cure, why would the witches hide it? If they hate vampires so much, wouldn't they want us to turn back?"

"I have considered that myself," Klaus admitted, his hands falling to his sides. "I don't have an answer for you, I'm afraid. It's possible it's hidden so those who would destroy it cannot find it so easily. There are vampires and hybrids, myself included, who have no interest in turning back. Mass hysteria would ensure if word of this cure got out. There are some who would wish to destroy it. The alternative is grim."

"You wouldn't even consider it if the cure was real? Being human again?" she asked curiously.

He shook his head, "No, I have been this way for far too long, a human life holds no appeal I'm afraid. Why would I want to be mortal when I am the most powerful creature in the world? Spitting in the face of evolution, my dear," he smirked.

She chuckled, shaking her head, "I don't think vampires, werewolves, and hybrids are exactly what Charles Darwin had in mind when he put pencil to paper on the theory of evolution."

"That does not make it inapplicable," he countered. "I take it you have intentions of using the cure, should it truly exist?"

She tilted her head as she thought about how to answer that question. "I don't know really," she said, shaking her head. "I had plans. Goals. All of which became completely negated when I became a vampire, but I don't think I want any of that anymore. I think the thing I miss the most is the possibility. As a vampire, I can travel the world and meet new people. I can explore and accomplish. The world is at my fingertips, but the simple things are gone. I'll never grow old or have children. I'll never feel cold or hot. They all seem so silly when I say them out loud." She let out a nervous laugh, looking down at the floor.

"It's basic human instinct to want those things, Caroline." He reached out, his thumb and forefinger catching her chin gently and raising her head.

"I'm not human anymore," she said softly, her eyes not leaving his.

"Human is an identifier. You have more humanity than anyone I've ever met, sweetheart," he said sincerely.

Once again, Caroline found herself holding her breath. There was something about his lips that entranced her, beckoning her closer and inviting her to experience them again. She had experienced it before, but it wasn't enough. She wanted more and it wasn't a spell. It wasn't under the enchantment of Italy or what she had described to Elena as a temporary bat of Stockholm syndrome. It was just him and her alone and completely of their own volition. Her eyes fluttered closed as he brought her closer, their lips barely beginning to brush before her phone started demanding attention.

Cursing against his lips, she pulled back and looked at the phone, only answering it because she saw Stefan's name. She took a step back and pressed it to her ear, listening to Stefan's frantic voice. "Okay, okay. I'll be right there. I promise. No, I'm just- I'll be home in a few minutes. Just don't do anything until I get there," she spoke with certainty, before hanging up and shoving the phone in her pocket. Klaus gave her a quizzical expression and she shook her head. "I-I have to go. Stefan's in trouble."

Author's Note: Hey guys, please keep reviewing! I swear that's why I'm writing so quickly. Normally I am not this quick with updates. I made this story my nanowrimo story so that definitely plays a part as well. So what do you guys think the trouble is?