Disclaimer; I own Faylinn Lorien and Angel (she's gonna show up later-i promised a friend). Every place and person beside these two belong to Rachel Caine. oh! BrIgHtEyEdGiRl-lIvEtIlThEeNd: Francois. and your questions get answered in this chapter(!)
I've gotta admit, I'm really liking that you guys are enjoying this story and that you're pretty confused. sorry, but true.
(Faylinn POV)
My heart was pounding. My heart was pounding ,and it couldn't be helped. It ached in longing everytime I looked at Shane. He was handsome, could be kind-if he wanted to be-and caring, which I had learned watching him and Alyssa as they got to know eachother again. At this moment, they were snuggled up with the goth girl (whom I had found was named Eve) and Michael, watching a funny movie together. I wanted to be with him, but because of Bishop, I could not. Not only was there the risk that Bishop would hurt or kill Shane if I showed the slightest weakness or resistance, but that he might see through our yet, it was because of Bishop that I was playing this charade, wearing the strange bracelet that, even now, graced my wrist. Bishop was the only reason Shane and I couldn't be together. Then again, I still wondered what Shane would think if he knew the truth.
It was clear, the moment I saw Shane, that even after six years, though my brain didn't remember him, my heart did. I was still in love with him. Which only made it harder for me that Shane couldn't let go of Claire Danvers. Not because I was jealous of a 'dead girl', but because it added more pain and awareness to why we couldn't be together; Bishop. I smiled to myself. Shane obviously didn't see through my acting, none of them did. I was Claire Danvers, but when Shane looked at me, all he saw was the girl I was pretending to be; Faylinn Lorien. She wasn't even a real person, just a name Amelie thought up at a moment's notice and dubbed me with.
I missed my hair and eyes. The golden tresses and blue orbs, but because I was Amelie's spy and couldn't seem off at all, I had to wear this bracelet. For the same reason Sam wore his special watch. They were devices that Myrnin and I had worked on numerous times, tested again and again, then made changes when we found a glitch. They had to be perfect, they were supposed to fool Bishop, afterall. What the watch and bracelet did, was alter our outside appearance, making us appear as someone else entirely. We had killed Francois several years back, (Oliver, in fact), therefore we needed someone to pose as Francois, being our spy and helping me with Bishop; Sam was perfect for the job.
Then, we needed someone else to make it high up in Bishop's ranking system. I had done this, I was his favorite. He even loved me more than he loved his 'precious Ysandre', and I'd only been with him for five years-well, as Faylinn, that is. I had been one of his favorite about a year beforehand, though, as I was told. Not that I actually remembered. Which is what scared me. Bishop had raped and butchered me back then, as one of his favorites, which only made me fear that the incident could reoccur. Then again, I could defend myself better; I was a vampire now, afterall.
After I had been shoved in that sack and left by the side of the highway, Jason Rosser had found me, and for the first time, did the right thing. He nodified Amelie and braught me to her and though it had taken alot out of her, she turned me, bringing me back to life. However, as a side effect, I had gained Amnesia, not remembering any portion of my life at all. Though, by the time Myrnin and I had started working together again, especially on the watch and bracelet (which we'd apparently been working on before I had passed), some of my knowledge had resurfaced, making my job as his assistant easier.
Sitting here at the dining room table, accompanied by Frank, Amelie and Sam-all in conversation together, paying my wandering attention no mind-I looked upon my Shane and sweet Alyssa. I remembered how, about a week and a half ago, back in Bishop's throne room, she started to slip and almost told Shane that I was Claire. This was exactly the reason Amelie had wanted Shane, Eve and Michael to keep their distance from me; she didn't want them finding out whom I really was and slipping up in front of Bishop. Truly, I didn't blame her. We would all die if Bishop found out who I really was, ending my chances completely of ever being with Shane again.
A part of me doubted he'd want to be with me, especially now. I was an overly serious, hardworking biotch, whom didn't look like myself-because of the stupid bracelet-as well as a vampire. I wasn't naive, I knew I changed since I had been human, and plenty of it. I drank blood! And walked in the sunlight! (which helped-but that wasn't the point). I was more of a freak now, more than ever. Ysandre was right. She had plenty reason not to like me, as I had no reason to like her. Sometimes, it all seemed pointless-like we'd never win against Bishop, as we'd already been fighting for six years now. Ha! And Shane! he wanted to help us, he expected me to let him help, but I couldn't let that happen. Whether Bishop knew I was alive or not, he'd kill Shane the moment he got the chance. And if Shane tried to help us, Bishop would get plenty of those chances. It was the most selfish I had been in the longest of time, but I could not stop myself from being that way. Banning Shane from revenge so I could hold him after I got mine.