Danny lay on his back, staring at the ceiling. His treatment had been brought forward. Tomorrow now was when it began. They weren't even going to let him go home. He didn't know the next time he'd back at Leopard's Den and that was hard. He couldn't remember much about what had happened. He vaguely recalled snapping at Dupe for asking him whether he was alright and then watching him drive off. But there was nothing much after that. Just a horrible drowsiness, shouting and then nothing. After that he'd woke up staring at the same ceiling he was now, counting the slight cracks in the white paint and wishing he wasn't where he was, in the situation he was in. When he'd opened his eyes, Harry's familiar voice had filled his ears reassuring him as he adapted to waking up in unfamiliar surroundings. He'd explained to Danny the severity of the situation and why it was necessary for him to start his chemotherapy straight away. It had all progressed rapidly. Already they were looking for a donor and Danny had been tested to see if the cancer had spread to his brain or spinal cord. He was still waiting on those results. "I'll go get Alice"
He'd swore out loud when Harry had said that. He had already left before Danny could shout him back but then again what would he have said. Don't get my wife. Tell her to go home. Yeah because his Alice would take that lying down. Maybe Harry wouldn't let it slip. Who was he kidding? He knew she'd be mad at him for not telling her himself. The coward in him was glad he didn't have to break it to her but that's what it was cowardice. Cowardice and selfishness. But, still, he couldn't bear to see her breaking her heart for him. He hated when she was the slightest bit unhappy. He was dreading seeing her because he didn't want to see her that torn up, especially when he knew it was over him. And he wouldn't insult her by telling her not to react in that way. He knew the state he'd been if, God forbid, it was reversed.
He closed his eyes tight and prayed he would open them and it would all be a horrible nightmare. It didn't work and he saw her outline pass the window. He looked back up to the ceiling as the door opened.
Silence.
He knew he couldn't avoid it much longer, so he met her eyes. "Alice-" he tried to start.
"Don't." He'd never seen that look on her face. It was never one she'd worn and he couldn't even determine how she felt from it.
"I wanted-"
"You lied to me."
"I didn't want you to worry-"
"You told me you were fine. That the doctor hadn't said anything."
He tried to explain himself. "I didn't want to worry you-" she snorted humourlessly "-I wanted to tell you when it was...confirmed."
Her eyes flared.
"You said you were fine Danny! You weren't fine. You're not fine. Not at all! I can't believe you'd keep this from me. And do not even try and justify this. We're a team, a couple, we're married. How would you have felt? How would you feel? How am I meant to feel? Betrayed? That you obviously don't trust me enough to tell me something this massive! This serious!" Alice was in full flow and her voice was getting gradually more unsteady as she struggled to hold it together as she ranted. "It's not some stupid infection Daniel Trevanion. It's not going to go away. It's...it's..." She visibly crumbled.
He pulled himself up in bed and opened his arms. She fell into them pushing him backwards. He held her tight to him trying to take every bit of her pain from her to take as his own. He gently stroked her hair as she clung to him and murmured soothing word into her ear. When she had stopped crying she immediately sat up, pulling away from his embrace and was once again on her feet this time in a business like pose.
"Right we're going to beat this. Harry said treatment starts tomorrow. Okay fine. I'll bring you pyjamas up tonight or I'll phone Dupe." He could see the front she'd immediately put up. "I'll gather everyone tonight to tell them. We'll face this together."
"Alice."
"Robbie, of course wont understand..."
"Alice?"
"But I'm sure Charlotte will. So I'll - What is it?"
He just looked up at her. "I'm sorry."
She maintained the stoic impression. "It's done now. Doesn't matter."
"Of course it does. Alice, sit down, please." Still not looking at him, she sat on the chair beside him. "Don't put on a brave face for me, I can do that myself, I can do that for the kids and Rosie and Dupe but not you Alice, so don't you put on one."
A single tear ran from her eye. "But you did. You told me you were ok."
"I wanted to be sure."
Her voice was shaky as was his. "But even after?"
"I don't think I could admit it to myself." Tears were running down both their cheeks now. "I was scared...I am scared." He broke down. "I'm so scared."
"Oh Danny." She grabbed his hand with both of hers and seeing that he was crying stood up and pulled him to her. "You're going to be fine."
He nodded, though she still felt her top getting wetter. "I love you so much."
"I love you too. You'll get through this. We all will."
Thanks for staying with it. Next up the rest of the family's reactions. How is everyone going to cope? Danny's already having a breakdown and Alice is trying to put on a brave face for everyone.