Me: Phew. Tenth chapter.
Jack: I can't believe you actually have written ten chapters! I deemed you too lazy to do that!
Me: Hehehe. I know. I amaze myself sometimes. But I have an announcement. It was brought to my attention by JtheChosen1 that my closing comment could be taken wrong so I'll elaborate. Damian sent Mido on a mental trip to a place of madness, death and pink fluffy ferrets!
Mike: What?! That's awful!
Damian: No it isn't. It's fun! At least for me and the Master.
Me: That's right my friend. Now, it's disclaimer time!
Jack & Mike: He doesn't own.
Me: Let us begin this.
Last time our heroes successfully destroyed Phantom Gannon and Link entered the blue light. We join him in the Chamber of Sages…
"OH MY GODDESSES LINK! YOU'RE A HUNK!" Saria yelled. Link blushed and suddenly found the floor to be highly interesting.
"Nah, not really." Link said.
"Of course you are! Don't you dare demean yourself!" Saria said. "But I digress. I have awakened as the Sage of the Forest. I must remain here. I'll give you the Forest Medallion." She said and lifted her arms. Suddenly a big green medallion hit Link on the head and nearly left him unconscious. "Eek! Sorry!"
"That was pretty amusing, actually." Said a voice that made both Link and Saria jump four feet in the air. "Glad to see I still have it in me to scare you two turtledoves." The newly materialized Damian said, chuckling at their blushes.
"Any important reason you are here, Damian?" Link asked, still trying to steady his heartbeat.
"As a matter of fact…no." Damian said and chuckled some more as they anime dropped. "At least not important in the greater scale of things. I came to offer you something. I know the two of you miss each other, therefore I'll make a deal with you. I'll stay here as Saria's replacement for twelve hours and she can go with you for that period of time. However! No one will be able to see you, you will be as wraiths, capable of interacting with the world but incapable of interacting with the living." Damian said. Saria was overjoyed but Link was skeptical.
"What's in it for you?" He asked Damian.
"What, can't I do something out of the goodness of my heart?" Damian asked. Link raised a skeptical eyebrow. "Fine you ungrateful bastard! Deal's off!" Damian yelled and started muttering under his breath. "Ungrateful son of a bitch, stupid idiot, fucking pedophile." Damian muttered a lot more curses and Link was beginning to think he actually wanted to help out of kindness.
"S-s-sorry, it's just that you mostly never do anything without a purpose." Link said. Damian considered this and turned.
"I guess you are right. But I do have a purpose. This might be the last time you will see Saria, therefore I don't want you to part just as partners but as friends. Besides you owe her seven years of games. I cannot stay here for seven years so you'll have to manage with twelve hours. So, it's a deal?" Damian asked. Link and Saria looked at each other and nodded. Damian smiled a little. "Then get ready. This will probably hurt." He said and focused a large amount of energy. "By the authority of Darkness, in the name of Death. You two are to wander the plane of the living as neither dead nor living, but as shadows of your former selves until the Dark One or the Fourth Horseman say otherwise." He finished saying his incantation and shot the energy at them. Saying it hurt was an understatement. Link and Saria felt their innards burn into ashes and get rearranged, bones breaking and moving. After five minutes of that torture the pain stopped. "Good, the spell was a success. You may leave now, but remember our deal. Twelve hours, no more. I will send my steed to fetch you when the time comes." Damian said and took Saria's place. "Now go! Have all the fun you can." He said and opened a portal beneath their feet. They found themselves standing in the Sacred Forest Meadow and looked at each other.
"Well, at least she didn't turn into a monster or something." Link thought and Saria had similar thoughts. "Well, what should we do?" Link asked and Saria giggled.
"Why don't you tell me of your exploits, Link? Later we can go swimming or play hide and seek." Saria said, obviously exited.
"Sure." Link said. "Damian, thank you."
Meanwhile in the Chamber of Sages…
"DIN, NAYRU AND FARORE! WHAT IS A CREATURE OF DARKNESS DOING IN THE CHAMBER?!" Rauru has found our very own Angel of Death.
"Shhhh. You're hurting my ears. I have many names but, since I don't like you, you may call me Mors. And I am covering for Saria for a little while." Damian said shrugging. "So I suggest you control those outbursts before I get angry. Trust me, your goddesses fear my name and rightly so. It would not be any problem to extinguish this pathetic dimension. So shut up and leave me to my meditation." Damian said with a glare, Rauru whimpered and nodded. "Good."
Twelve hours, one story, sixteen games of hide and seek, two swimming trips and a major nosebleed later. Ktulu arrived at the Sacred Forest Meadow, where Link and Saria were playing their ocarinas. "Ah, Ktulu, is it time already?" Link asked and the black horse nodded. "Ok. Well, I guess this is goodbye, huh? I'll miss you, Saria. You've always been my best friend." Link said and hugged Saria. Ktulu stomped the ground and a portal opened beneath the again.
"Awww, isn't that cute? They are saying goodbye." Damian said and Link broke the embrace to glare at his companion. "Sorry to interrupt but we had a deal. Besides, I actually wanted you to enjoy some time with her. You see, I lied, you will see her again. Now, by the power of the Fourth Horseman you are restored upon the plane of the living in your own flesh and bone." Damian said and looked more closely at Saria. "Saria, why is there blood under your nose?" He asked. Saria blushed and teleported them out of the Chamber. "Well, that was odd." Damian said. They had been transported to the GDT and saw a leaf sprouting in the ground. The Great Deku Tree Sprout (GDTS) told Link he was a Hylian and told him to get going. "Fucking twig, giving orders, stupid asshole." Damian muttered under his breath.
"Damian, why do you talk to yourself so much?" Link asked.
"Because I like to have an intelligent conversation every once in a while and since I cannot go to the ranch whenever I get those urges I talk to myself." Damian said. "We should go to Death Mountain. The Gorons are the keepers of the Fire Temple. Darunia should know where it's located. See ya there." Damian said and melted into the shadows.
"Damn it! He could have taken me with him, but no, I have to walk. Stupid bastard." Link said to himself. "You know, he's right. It is oddly comforting to talk to someone who understands you. Anyway, I believe there's a shortcut to Goron City in the Lost Woods." Link said and walked to the Woods. He found the shortcut after twenty minutes. He entered and found himself in the City.
"What took you so long?" Damian asked him, for once standing in front of him.
"Couldn't find the way." Link said and Damian looked at him as if he was stupid.
"Link, Death Mountain is a mountain. It's pretty damn hard to miss." Damian said.
"I know! But I was looking for the shortcut." Link said.
"Whatever. Listen, I was talking to Link over there" Damian said pointing to the only Goron visible in the City. "And he told me his dad, that's Darunia, went to the Fire Temple inside the crater to rescue the other Gorons from Volvagia, a fire breathing dragon that was recently revived by Bitch-dorf to eat the Gorons. He told me there's a shortcut into the crater in Darunia's room and gave me this tunic for you." He said giving Link a red tunic. "That's a Goron Tunic, it's resistant to heat. You should be able to survive inside the crater if you wear it. Now, let's go." He said and left for Darunia's room. After removing a statue from their way, they found themselves inside Death Mountain Crater.
"Phew. This tunic sure is a life saver. I bet you are roasting in that cloak of yours." Link said and Damian shook his head.
"No, actually this temperature is a little cold. I should have brought a thicker cloak." Damian said and snickered at Link's expression. "Relax, will ya. Remember I grew up in Hell, this is nothing."
"Well…that's true." Link said. They found Sheik near the entrance to the Fire Temple. After another boring and completely pointless poem, Sheik taught Link the Bolero of Fire.
"Ok, now piss off. I still don't like you, bitch." Damian said. Sheik nodded and left. "I don't like that bitch." Damian said and entered the Temple. They took the door to the left of the entrance and found Darunia. After another boring speech, Darunia entered the boss chamber (I never found out how he entered without the boss key). "Real helpful fellow, isn't he?" Damian said, sarcasm oozing from his words. They advanced, and advanced and advanced some more (What? I never really liked the Fire Temple. Guess which one is my favorite. If you guess I'll allow you to choose another torture for someone.), rescuing Gorons and found the Megaton Hammer. "Finally you have a decent weapon. Let's go down and slay the dragon!" Damian said and phased through the ground. "See you there."
"Damn it. I have to walk down there." Link said and began the long descent. Twenty minutes and several burns later, Link arrived at the entrance and saw Damian killing some bats.
"Die, you annoying flying rats! Absolute!" He yelled and the bats froze in midair and crashed on the ground. "Heh, I think I may have overdone it. Oh well." Damian said shrugging and turned to look at Link. "If you're done gapping like the idiot you are, we should go help Darunia." Damian said and Link nodded. They entered the boss chamber and Link didn't notice anything. "Link, you asshole! Look above you!"
"Huh?" Link asked and turned upwards. Volvagia was flying there, breathing fire in our hero's direction. "Holy Fuck!" Link screamed, barely avoiding the flame.
"Wait until it burrows in the lava holes, when it emerges hit it with the hammer!" Damian shouted, shooting his own fireballs at Volvagia. Link did it and after some hits, Volvagia shot upwards and tried to escape. "Oh no, you don't!" Damian snarled and bent over. "Ugh. GAAAAHHHHHH" Damian screamed and a pair of wings shot from his back, ripping flesh and fabric and shooting a huge amount of blood to the air. "Soul Hunter!" Damian yelled and flew right into Volvagia's stomach, withdrawing a small orb of energy. "Soul Crusher!" Damian said and crushed the orb with his hand. Volvagia's body fell crashing into the lava. "You will never know rest again, you bastard." Damian said and spat at the point where Volvagia fell. He descended and waited.
"What the hell?! You have wings?!" Link asked, pointing quite unnecessarily at the rather large wings. (The wings are roughly 7 feet long and, as is the case with his eyes, are mismatched in both coloring and types, his right wing is black and bat-like and his left one is white and bird-like.)
"Yes, I do. I seem to recall telling you my mother was an Angel" He pointed at his left wing. "And my father was a Demon" He pointed at his right wing. "Besides, I AM the Angel of Death. I'm entitled to have wings. But enough about me. Enter the light and get the fucking medallion." Damian said and vanished again.
"I hate it when he does that." Link grumbled and entered the light.
Me: That was the tenth chapter. And I am serious about that little guessing contest.
Damian: Read and Review.