Tony woke up to the sound of screaming, his body protesting as he sat up too quickly and looked over to Loki. Loki thrashed in bed, his eyes shut tight in pain and Tony ached as he wrapped his arms around him to hold him still. "Loki, breathe." He said sternly, noticing the other was gasping for air, knowing the every part of him burned right now but that it would be worse if he didn't calm down. Looking down at him, he saw that the rest of his feathers were all gone and the bed was littered with them.
"Hurts." Loki gasped and cried as he kept thrashing around in Tony's arms. "Hurts… so bad!" he sobbed and Tony pressed him down a bit more with his body to stop the thrashing, not wanting Loki to hit his head. He laced their hands together and pinned them down by Loki's sides when he noticed the angel's nails were digging into his own hands and drawing blood.
No matter how upset he had been with Loki, he knew that the angel didn't deserve this. Loki just cried under him and, for hours, Tony didn't know how to stop it, only able to make sure he didn't hurt himself any worse.
For hours, he watched Loki's wings go from the pale pink they had been to deep black, the pink skin looking like it was drying out and clinging to his wing bones. Where they had been soft and gentle before, now that stretched out, large and imposing like Tony's own.
Then, Loki began to scream louder and Tony let go of his hand to cover his mouth. "It's your tail." He said soft and when Loki sobbed and he felt close to tears as well. "It's just your tail… I know it hurts, I'm sorry." He breathed and felt Loki scratch at his back desperately with his recently freed hand. "Hold on a bit longer and I'll help you." He promised. He ignored the stinging on his back as Loki began to tear at the skin there and just watched the sheet soak with blood as the tail tore through Loki's skin.
He pulled back quickly and ignored how his head spun as he flipped Loki over onto his back. He pressed Loki's head down into the pillows and gripped the short tail that had torn through Loki's bloodied pants. "I'm sorry." He said and pulled roughly, forcing his tail out quickly as Loki screamed louder before passing out.
Tony panted and looked down at him sadly. "Sorry." He breathed again and pulled back to go fill the tub with warm water. He went back and undressed Loki gently before carrying him into the bathroom. He set him down in the tub and tucked Loki's wings in as well, smiling when he saw him relax. He sat down by the tub and sighed softly as he stroked Loki's hair; glad to watch the blood wash away down the drain and the pain slowly leave Loki's face as the water soothed his aching body.
Loki woke up slowly and shifted as he realized he was wet. "Steady." He heard a gentle voice say when he began to sit up and a pair of arms helped him up a bit more. He smiled softly as a hand went through his hair and he opened his eyes slowly, smiling as he saw Tony. "Hey you." Tony said softly and looked down at him with caring eyes.
"Hey." He breathed and looked down at his body. He seemed fine, though very naked, and he wondered what had happened. "What-" Tony raised a hand to stop him before he finished his question.
"I'll explained in a bit." He said and got a towel. "Let's just get you out of the water." He helped Loki stand and wrapped the towel around him, glad that Loki was still a bit out of it and just clung onto him when he picked him up. Tony had changed the sheets and for the most part, made sure that everything in the room looked normal. He sat him down by the edge of the bed and looked at him sadly as he wrapped the towel around his shoulders. "Loki… you changed." He said softly and the other looked up at him with confused eyes.
"I thought that much was clear, that's why I'm losing my feathers-" he froze as he brought his wings forward and Tony saw his beautiful green eyes fill with scared tears. "M-my wings." He breathed and touched them gently, flinching as he felt the tight skin. "Tony, what do I-" He looked up at him helplessly, not knowing what to do or how to feel.
Tony sighed and cupped his cheeks. "Once it starts… it doesn't really stop or go back, no matter how good you act, it's just a matter of time." He said softly. "That's why you passed out, the pain." He explained and brushed Loki's tears away. "I'm sorry." He whispered and sat by him. "I know you didn't want this."
Loki wrapped the towel around himself tightly and pressed close to Tony side. "Don't be… just hold onto me." He sighed and closed his eyes when he felt Tony's arm wrap around him. He didn't feel any different now, and he wondered if Tony was exaggerating about the instinct to do wrong.
They sat in silence for a bit and he finally wiped his eyes with the backs of his hands. "I'm okay." He said softly and stood up, feeling stronger than he had before. The worse had happened and he was still alive, and he still had his Tony. They would figure out the rest of it together. "I'm going to change. Order food." He said and rummaged through the drawers for his clothes and pulled them on.
Tony nodded, knowing it was best to just do what he said. He grabbed his phone and ordered from Loki's favorite place quickly before he began to sift through the texts he'd missed and began to answer them.
Loki came back to the bed and frowned as he saw him. "Stop that." He said and took the phone from his hands, slamming it a bit too hard on the bedside table as he set it face down. He went back and settled on Tony, his legs on either side of his hips. "We need to talk." He said and rested his cheek on Tony's chest.
"Well, those are never good words." He said and glanced at his phone, hoping Loki hadn't broken it and winced when the man gripped his chin and pulled it back to look at him.
"Look at me, Anthony." He almost snarled and Tony blinked.
'I'm looking at you… you're just scaring me a bit, babe." He said gently. He had had his own shift when he turned, had his bouts of anger at having fallen, and had hurt people, but when he began to give into his worst instincts, to indulge, to enjoy, and to do things for pleasure's sake he knew it and he stopped when he went too far. Loki was bruising him and the ex-angel didn't even seem to realize it.
Loki frowned. "I'm going to get a lot scarier if you don't pay attention to me." He said and then his eyes softened as he let go of him. "What are we, Tony?" He breathed and Tony sighed, putting his arms around Loki's waist. "I need to know…" he mumbled and nuzzled his neck like he used to do as an angel, glad that the feeling of being safe and loved hadn't changed.
Tony looked down at him and a hand came up to stroke his hair. "You're already marked by me." He said softly. "It's not like I'm going to throw you out on the street, you're mine." He kissed his head. "And now that you're a demon, we can be together."
"I don't want you just to fuck me, either." Loki said, not feeling as embarrassed as he usually would by the images that came to mind. "I want to be together properly, like the angels do. I'm yours, you're mine." He said seriously.
Tony smiled. "Sure…" he said softly and kissed his cheek. "I do love you." He admitted with a soft sigh. "And I want to be with you." He chuckled as Loki looked up at him with hopeful eyes and his own eyes widened when the other pressed closer to kiss him deeply. It wasn't the slow first kiss he'd imagined at all. It was fast and urgent but still had that shy, unsure, and innocent part of Loki that he loved.
"Just me?" Loki asked as he pulled back, his cheeks red from blushing, but didn't care so long as Tony agreed to be his.
"I mean, you'll be the only one I belong to" he said "but I still have the other three-" his eyes widened and his hands were pulled back and pinned by Loki's magic, green bands holding him to the headboard.
"What you're going to have is three dead marked ones if you finish that sentence." Loki said and got off him with a huff. "And here I thought I was enough for you." He muttered and sat at the other side of the bed, glaring at Tony darkly.
"Loki, we're demons, we have to make deals. We have to have marked ones." He told him and felt the restraints tighten as he spoke.
"Oh, like you don't like it." He growled at Tony. "I watched you fuck Steve, remember? You looked like you were having a great time." He glared at Tony.
"I mean, I like my work, but we need to do it to stay alive, we need to feed on the bad desires of angels or humans." He said quickly. "Loki, this is really fucking hurting." He said and began to struggle against the binds as they got tighter.
Loki stared at him and let go, opting to just curl up on his side of the bed and glare at the wall. Tony rubbed his bruised wrists and sighed as he moved over to Loki and wrapped his arms around him, feeling Loki relax when his wings wrapped around him as well. "I'll see if there is something else I can do instead of sleeping with them… but until then you just need to understand what I do." He kissed Loki's shoulder. "Besides, I'll always come home to you." He said softly and smiled as he heard Loki sigh softly.
"And…" He frowned when Loki paused "I suppose... I'll always come home to you." Loki said suddenly and turned in his arms. There was something different in his eyes. As an angel, Loki was curious and mischievous, but this was something else. "I mean, I am a demon now, right?" He asked and looked at him with those big green eyes that Tony loved, but there was something dark in them (and Tony would be lying if he didn't admit he was both scared and aroused by it). "I need to make deals too… and your way seems like the easiest way." He kissed Tony again but this time Tony felt his stomach twist and turn as he understood what Loki meant. "Food's here." Loki purred into his lips when the bell rang and he went to get it.
Tony watched him and he felt a bit sick. This was Loki… but it wasn't all of him. Loki was tainted now, like Tony was, and his chest flooded with shame as he wondered if he still loved him this way too.
Why do I like to hurt myself this way?